Zero Regret: Z and Lilly, Part Two (Lost Kings MC Book 13)

by Autumn Jones Lake

  He twists his wrist and pumps his fingers in and out faster. “Think you can come for me like this?”

  I open my eyes to search the room again.

  “No, keep your eyes on me. No one’s paying attention to us.” He slides his fingers out and makes a slow trail to my clit, rubbing in maddening circles.

  I close my eyes and rest my forehead against his chest. “I’m already close.”

  “Hmm.” For the next few seconds, he’s quiet, concentrating on the fire he’s building between my legs. I risk looking up into his eyes. He’s so focused on me it pushes me to the edge.

  “I want to fuck you so bad,” he whispers.

  I hook my ankles together behind his legs, pulling him closer. Inviting him to do whatever he wants.

  He groans. “Come for me first.”

  I’m so close to that blissful edge. My hips rock, my breath stutters, my pulse jumps, heat races over my chest and up my neck. I call out his name, a broken cry, louder than I intended. He slows his movements and drags his fingers out, stopping to readjust my underwear. He tickles and traces little patterns on my inner thighs and strokes me through my underwear, each soft touch bringing me gently back to Earth.

  Desire still simmers in his eyes when I look up.

  I slide off the stool and take his hand.

  As we turn to sneak down the hallway to our room, Hustler stops us.

  “That was fucking hot, Prez.”

  Heat sears my cheeks. Yes, I knew there was a possibility someone might see us, but knowing it could happen and knowing it did happen are two different things.

  Z glares at him. “The fuck is wrong with you?”

  He throws his arms wide. “You’re at the bar, not invisible.”

  “I don’t care if I’m on your dining room table, avert your eyes, motherfucker.”

  “Z.” I tug on his hand. “We have more pressing concerns at the moment.” I graze my fingers over his erection straining the zipper of his jeans in case he doesn’t know what concern I’m referring to.

  He growls at Hustler one last time before tugging me along. Hustler winks as I go by. Not the creepy, makes-my-skin-crawl wink of a predator. More like a friendly go-fuck-your-man wink.

  Z stalks down the hallway so fast, I have trouble keeping up in my heels. Inside our room, he pulls my dress up and over my head, tossing it on the chair.

  “Stand by the bed and wait for me,” he rasps.

  I go to kick off my heels and he stops me. “Leave ‘em.”

  Curious, I move to the bed, running my hand over the comforter. Z unlaces his boots without taking his eyes off me. With a twitch of my hips, I turn and press my palms against the mattress, arch my back and glance over my shoulder.

  “How’d you know that’s what I wanted?” He clutches the edges of his cut and pulls it wide, drawing attention to his broad chest, sturdy shoulders, and inked arms. He places it over the chair, then drags his T-shirt up.

  I lick my lips as he exposes every delicious inch. All his naked chest, hard muscles and beautiful ink. His hands move to his belt and my desire ratchets up another notch. I don’t know what it is about his big hands working that thick strap of black leather loose, but it gets me every time.

  He flicks the button loose and lowers the zipper. The jeans end up on the floor, kicked to the side. He stalks over, cock in hand.

  “What do you want?” he asks.

  “You.”

  “How?”

  I twitch my hips. “Do you need me to draw you a map?”

  He pops his hand against my ass and squeezes. “Careful what you ask for, Lilly.”

  Now I can’t see him, but I feel his heat against the back of my legs. He slides his hands over my hips and down my thighs, dropping to the floor behind me.

  “Z?”

  “Shh.” He hooks his fingers in my underwear and drags it down my legs. Featherlight kisses and licks along the backs of my legs have me squirming. He pushes his hand between my legs, widening my stance, then replaces his hand with his tongue.

  “Oh, fuck. You didn’t have to…oh my god…I’m ready. Holy shit.”

  On a mission, he licks and kisses, spreading my wetness everywhere. Too absorbed in the sensations, I collapse against the mattress, tucking my arms under me.

  While he stands back up, he continues to stroke me. My legs are shaking so hard when he finally rubs his cock against my slick center. He grips my hips and fills me in one, solid thrust.

  It feels so good, I’m clawing at the comforter, balling it up under me. The sounds of our skin slapping together as he pounds into me fills the room.

  “Hear how wet you are?” he rasps. “So fucking hot.”

  He falls over me, pressing against my back. “Slide your fingers down and work your clit.”

  I grunt an obscene noise as I rush to comply. He lifts his weight off me, pulling away. I think to see if I’m doing as he asked. God, even that drives me crazy with need.

  He grips my hip and slows his pace, making me feel every maddening thrust. “Fuck, fuck, Z. I don’t ever want you to stop.” God, I want him everywhere. I turn to get a glimpse of him over my shoulder.

  “Good?”

  “Yes. Harder.”

  He gives me a wicked smile and sucks his thumb into his mouth. I squeeze my eyes shut and concentrate on every movement.

  A few thrusts later, he presses the pad of his thumb against my ass. I’d object, but in the heat of the moment it feels really fucking good and I arch my back instead.

  “That’s it,” he encourages. “Open.”

  Fuck. Pressure. So much. But there’s a twinge and it starts to feel…good.

  Dark, dirty, and really fucking good.

  “Oh my god.” I swear I have a better vocabulary than that, but at the moment that’s the only phrase that rolls off my tongue repeatedly.

  I’m so full, ready to explode.

  Blood thunders through my veins. Beads of sweat roll off my forehead. My entire body is strung so tight with the need for release. My little moans and soft noises morph into screams as my body convulses with pleasure.

  I collapse, but Z continues his punishing thrusts. He works a hand between our bodies to play with my clit until I’m sobbing and shaking, begging him to have mercy on me.

  His fingers dig into my hips as he pumps one last time and climaxes with a shout.

  He sinks his teeth into my shoulder, gently biting down. “You’re going to fucking kill me.”

  I can’t catch my breath long enough to dispute it.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  Z

  GUILT, remorse, shame, they’re not emotions I’ve ever been in touch with. And I’m not feeling any of them after Shadow’s death. If anything, I’m relieved that we cut him out before he did more serious damage to the club or got someone killed. Maybe some small guilt prickles at me for not recognizing he was a problem sooner. But fuck, if Sway didn’t see it after years around the guy, how could I?

  It’s been a while since I visited anyone in prison. Grinder’s the only member of the upstate charter who’s incarcerated. Since he got moved out of the maximum-security facility he’d been at for years, it’s easier to pay him a visit.

  The Pine Correctional guards toss a few suspicious looks my way. Eventually they approve my visit and I’m shown into a small room. A few minutes later, Grinder shuffles in, shackled and cuffed. The guard at least frees his hands.

  Grinder waits until the guard leaves before speaking. “Zero. It’s been a minute. How are you, brother?”

  “Not bad. Waiting for you to come home, old man.”

  “Shouldn’t be long now.” He coughs. “Least that’s what they tell me.”

  “You all right?” What a stupid question. Of course, he isn’t. The man’s had almost two decades of his life stolen. For a crime he didn’t even commit. I have no doubt he’s committed plenty of crimes since he’s been inside. That’s just the nature of what you have to do to stay alive, but he shouldn’t have
gone to prison in the first place.

  “Looking forward to getting out. Probably won’t recognize anything.”

  That’s true. The world’s changed a lot since he was a free man. “We’re all here for you, brother. Club will help with anything you need.”

  “Not looking for any handouts, Z.”

  “Wouldn’t dream of it. Can’t wait for you to come home. That’s all.”

  “Haven’t seen Rock in a bit. He okay?”

  “Yeah.” Rock’s twitchy with the information he shares about his personal life. Makes sense in our world. Grinder’s Lost Kings MC family, but he’s also part of a different world right now. Still, I think knowing about Rock’s family will make Grinder happy. “He and his wife just had a baby.”

  He sits back. “Really? That’s good. I’m happy to hear that. How’s Teller doing?”

  Interesting that was his first question.

  “Good.”

  “He and Murphy were coming pretty regularly to visit.”

  Shit. I’ve had those two so busy between helping me out and taking care of their responsibilities upstate, they probably haven’t had a minute to spare.

  “There’s been a few shakeups in the club. I’m actually running downstate while Sway’s been in the hospital.”

  “Downstate?” He gives me a blank look. Downstate didn’t exist when Grinder went inside. “Right. Right.” He touches his head and grins. “Surprised Sway’s still alive. Figured Tawny would’ve shot him by now.”

  I almost choke. “Yeah, we all thought so.”

  “You settle down?”

  “Funny you ask. Yeah.” I clear my throat and pull out a small picture the guards let me take in. All my other personal shit had to be left in a locker out in the waiting area. “Have a son too.”

  “Shit.” Grinder’s eyes shine as he takes the photo. “That’s great, Z. Damn, looks just like ya.”

  “Right? He’s a fun little dude. I can’t wait for you to meet him.”

  He nods and hands the photo back slowly. “No matter what, you do whatever you have to do to protect ‘em, Z.”

  The emotion in his voice stops me cold.

  While I thought the news might cheer him up, give him stuff to look forward to, now I’m questioning my judgment. Grinder always wanted a family. Hell, he was a surrogate dad to most of us in the early days. Then he got tossed in prison, his wife left him, and all his plans for his life went up in smoke. Bragging about how well everyone’s doing seems fucking cruel now.

  “It’s good to have something to look forward to, Z.” As if he knew where my mind went, he gives me a shadow of the shrewd biker smile I remember.

  “You got plenty to look forward to, brother.” We talk a little longer until the guards tell us time’s up.

  A heaviness I didn’t expect follows me out to the parking lot. Never felt this way after visiting a brother inside. Maybe it’s the weight of running my own club. Of wanting to do whatever it takes to keep my brothers out of prison. Or the ache of leaving a brother behind. A brother who’s already lost so much.

  All the connections we’ve developed over the years have never been able to help Grinder.

  Still bothered, I head North.

  Not that Crystal Ball will help, but I stop there first.

  The only person that could shake off my black mood today stands against the back wall, arms crossed over his chest, watching the room like he’s dying for one of the customers to step out of line so he can kick someone’s ass.

  “What the fuck you doing here, brother?” I shout, slapping Rock’s shoulder.

  He growls something foul at me, motions for Blue to take his spot, and jerks his head toward the front door. “The fuck you doing here?” he asks when we’re outside.

  “Wanted to check on things. Talk to Dex for a minute. Never expected to see you here.”

  “Dex is out. We’re short, so here I am. Wrath’s taking over for me when Furious closes.”

  “Fuck, I better get out of here before he shows up. He’s liable to kill me.”

  He chuckles. “Hope is supposed to stop by and have dinner with me later.”

  “She mad?”

  “Nah.” His mouth twitches into a smile. “She knows I’d rather be home, elbows deep in diapers, than dealing with this nonsense.”

  “Some nights that can be arranged here, Prez.”

  He slaps my chest. “What’s on your mind?”

  “How’d you know?”

  “You look like you’re thinking too hard.” He taps the side of my head. “Smoke’s billowing out of your ears.”

  “Har, har. Went to visit Grinder. It left me with a shitty feeling, ya know?”

  He’s slow in answering. “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. It’s not easy seeing him in there.”

  Actually, it’s probably harder on Rock. He and Grinder went inside together. Rock got out after a few years. Grinder stayed behind. Rock almost never talks about that period of his life.

  “Made the mistake of telling him about Chance. Thought it might cheer him up. Knowing there’s new blood in the family or whatever, but I think it bummed him out.”

  He nods slowly. “He held onto the hope that Rosie’d be waiting for him when he got out a lot longer than most would’ve.”

  “Fuck. I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Anything would bum him out right now. He’s been getting jerked around by the parole board for a couple years.”

  “Nothing we can do?”

  “Glassman’s at his wit’s end. There’s not much we can do to move them along. A charming quirk of the criminal justice system Hope tells me.”

  “Something we can look into? Maybe crack some skulls?”

  “With all our free time?”

  “Come on, Rock.”

  “I’ve tried. I haven’t brought it to the table every time because it’s depressing as fuck. But believe me, I’ve tried. I don’t want to make things worse for him, though either.”

  “I hear you.” I cock my head and study him for a minute before asking my next question. “Did he know about you and, you know, your relationship to Teller?”

  The question seems to throw Rock. “No.” He stops. considers the question more thoroughly. “I don’t think so. How could…who the fuck knows? Lately, if I’ve learned anything, it’s that even the impossible is possible.”

  “Amen to that.”

  “You didn’t tell him, did you?”

  “Fuck, no. I wouldn’t talk about it with anyone but you, brother. You know that.”

  “How’s everything else downstate?”

  “Calmer now. With all the chaos of coming in the way I did, I don’t think I realized how fractured the club was with Shadow in the VP seat.”

  “Yeah? Anyone else gotta go?”

  “Smoke put in for a transfer to Florida.”

  “Good riddance.”

  “Amen. I’m keeping an eye on Tiny, but I think everyone else is solid. We’ll see what happens when Sway comes home.”

  “God help you.” His phone rings and he smiles when he checks to see who it is. The call can only be from Hope. I doubt he looks like that when anyone else calls him. “Hey, baby doll. You almost here? I’m out front with Z.”

  “You want me to go?” I ask when he hangs up.

  “Nah, stick around. She wants to see you.”

  Not sure I should intrude on their brief window of time together, I nod. A few minutes later, she pulls in and Rock goes over to open her door. The intensity of their affectionate greetings hasn’t lessened while I’ve been away. That’s a good sign.

  When Rock’s finished properly molesting his wife, much to the delight of evening traffic, she turns and beams at me. “Z! What are you doing here?” She hurries over and envelops me in a ruthless hug. “I’m so happy to see you,” she mumbles against my cut.

  For some reason, Hope, more than anyone else, makes me home sick and I hug her back just as hard. “Miss you, s
weetheart.”

  “Nothing is the same without you.”

  “Yeah, no one comes barging through our screen door every morning,” Rock adds.

  “Is it really ‘barging in’ if I do it every day and you’re expecting me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Oh, stop.” Hope slaps her hand against Rock’s chest. “We miss you.”

  “Eh.” Rock wobbles his hand from side to side.

  Ignoring his comment, but keeping her arms around him, she asks me what I’m doing here. “Don’t tell me you missed CB so much you had to visit?”

  “No. I went to visit Grinder, so I wasn’t far. Thought I’d stop in and see how Dex was doing. Never expected to find Rock here.”

  Her mouth turns down at the mention of Dex’s name. “The club’s having a rough time lately.”

  “We’ll get through it. We always do.”

  “How’s Lilly? Chance? We’re supposed to get together again sometime next week.”

  “I think she’s looking forward to it.”

  “Good.” She pauses. “You said you saw Grinder? How was he?”

  To my knowledge, Hope’s never met him. Only heard things Rock or one of the brothers has told her. But her love for the club runs deep and extends to all the members.

  “Hard to say. Tired, but in good spirits. As good as anyone can be in his situation.”

  “I hope it’s not much longer until he gets out. I know he’ll probably need a lot of help getting adjusted…” Her voice trails off and she glances up at Rock.

  He squeezes her shoulders. “Club’ll help him figure it out.”

  The front door slams open and Blue sticks his head outside. “Rock, need your help.”

  Rock growls and I turn to answer Blue’s request. “I’ll—”

  “No, I got it. Stay with Hope for a minute,” Rock says, stalking off.

  Hope watches him go with anxiety glittering in her eyes.

  “I’m sure it’s nothing,” I try to reassure her.

  “Oh, I’m more worried he’s so pissed about being here. He’ll bite some poor girl’s head off.”

  I roar with laughter. “All this time, and the stuff you worry about still blows my mind.”

  She grins. “Good.”

  The door opens again and Blue steps out. He nods to Hope. “He should only be another minute. Sorry, Mrs. North. He said you can wait inside if you want.”