He nodded to his sister when he caught her coming out onto her front porch, then looked around again, trying to spot a familiar head of honey-gold hair. When Carla was nowhere to be seen, he forced a grin onto his lips and made his way over to Elise. “Hey, beautiful.”
She was standing on the top step, which put her only slightly above his height. Reaching down, she ruffled his unruly hair. “God, I can’t get used to how huge you are now.”
“I don’t look that different,” he muttered, going a little hot around the ears. His hair was longer than he’d ever worn it, and he’d put on more muscle in the last three years, as well as added a few battle scars. But he hadn’t thought the changes were enough for others to notice. He’d obviously been wrong.
“Are you kidding?” she asked with a playful snort. “You look like a wild man.”
Eli rolled his eyes. “Thanks.”
“Come on,” she murmured, smiling as she took his hand and pulled him up the steps. “I’ll get you some more coffee. You look like you need it.”
Instead of taking offense, he took a moment to study her in the morning sunlight, before saying, “And you look happy, sis.”
A gentle smile touched her lips. “I am.”
Eli squeezed her hand. “Good. You deserve it.”
They went into the kitchen, and he let his gaze wander over the beautiful, spacious interior of the cabin as she put the coffee on. Then he took a seat at the table, feeling both at ease and nervous at the same time, his brain churning as he tried to work out what he should say...and what he shouldn’t. He’d honestly never seen Elise look so happy and confident, and he didn’t want to screw that up by bringing up a painful topic. Then she brought it up for him.
“You know,” she murmured, setting their steaming mugs on the table and taking the chair caddy corner to his, “I never really got the chance to thank you for what you did for me.” Her dark gaze was soft with emotion.
Swallowing at the knot in his throat, he rumbled, “You told me.” He’d called a few times after his banishment, whenever he’d been missing his siblings too much to resist. But his calls had become less frequent over time, as it became harder to hear about life in Shadow Peak going on without him.
And each time he’d talked to them, it had just about killed him inside to keep from asking about Carla. About how she was. If she hated him. Who she was dating.
“But I never thanked you in person,” his sister said with a smile. “Over the phone doesn’t count.”
“You don’t need to thank me, El. It was my responsibility to look out for you, and I’m sorry that I didn’t come back sooner. I know I’ve let you and Eric down.”
Frowning, she said, “Eli, that isn’t true. Yes, we wanted you here because we’ve missed you, but neither one of us would have wanted you to have to live through Dad’s madness. I can’t even imagine how horrific that would have been for you, given how closely you worked with him.”
“But after he was dead—after the League was gone—I should have come home. Damn it, El, I should have been here to protect you from the Whiteclaw.”
Looking adorably frustrated, she shook her head and said, “That’s ridiculous. I think it’s great that you’re here to help, because God knows we need it. But you’ve got to stop thinking it’s your duty to keep bad things from happening to Eric and me. No one expects that of you.”
“I love you both,” he muttered gruffly, “which makes it my duty.”
“Well, we feel the same way about you. So I guess we can all just look out for each other. Fair?”
Some of the tension in his chest started to ease as he realized she truly didn’t hold a grudge against him, and he found himself giving her a lopsided grin. “So now that both you and Eric have gotten bonded, I guess we have two new members of the family, eh?”
She slowly arched a slender auburn brow. “And what about you?”
“What about me?” he hedged, sliding his gaze away from the knowing look in her deep blue eyes as he took a drink of his coffee.
Softly, she said, “You can play coy if you want, but you should know that Wyatt told me about you and Carla. Not everything, but enough for me to know that you’re life mates. And that you’ve had a complicated relationship for the past six years, three of which you haven’t even been around for.”
He flicked her a guarded look, his fingers tightening on the mug. “I don’t want to talk about it, El.”
“I figured as much. I just want you to know that even though I don’t understand why you didn’t take her with you, or come back for her, I think she would be good for you. She’s an amazing woman.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, his voice thick. “She’s something, all right.”
She took a sip of her coffee, then said, “Wyatt and I sat her down this morning and must have thanked her about a hundred times. Honestly, Eli, I don’t think I would have made it out of Hawkley alive if she hadn’t put herself at even greater risk to give Wyatt the chance to reach me. Even Eric came over this morning and gave her a big ol’ hug.” She shook her head a little and gave a hard swallow. “What she did, it was one of the bravest things I’ve ever seen. She did everything she could to keep their attention focused on her so that I didn’t get hurt.”
A slight smile ghosted his lips. “She must care about you a lot, El.”
Her dark eyes twinkled. “Or maybe she was thinking about you.”
He grunted, taking another drink from his mug.
“I’m really hoping you’ll talk to me about her, Eli.” The quiet words were rough with sincerity. “I want to be able to help you, but I can’t do that if I don’t understand what’s going on.”
Steering the conversation in a slightly different direction, he leaned back in his chair and said, “Speaking of the little Bloodrunner, where is she? I thought she might be here with Wyatt.”
Elise gave him a disappointed look, then sighed and gave in. “She and Wyatt are out checking on some things down in Wesley. With all the tension in the pack right now, we think a few of the younger wolves who were caught up in Dad’s craziness might have slipped back into old habits. There’ve been a few human disappearances around Wesley, and we want to make sure they aren’t the work of any rogue wolves.”
A deep scowl settled between his brows. “Why the hell did Carla have to go?”
Frowning again, she said, “She’s just doing her job, Eli. Don’t be an ass.”
“She could get hurt, damn it.”
His sister looked as if she was trying not to roll her eyes at him. “This is Carla we’re talking about. I get that you’re protective of her, but she’s a serious little badass.”
His nostrils flared as he pulled in a hard breath. “Did she or did she not end up kidnapped by those bastards?”
“That was different.”
“Was it? Because no matter how you look at it, she managed to get herself into a situation that put her in grave danger.”
“And she got herself out of it. Seriously, Eli, what is your problem?” she demanded as she crossed her arms, her slender brows pinched. “I love you like crazy, but you’re acting like a jerk.”
He grunted, knowing damn well that he sounded like an ass. But he didn’t know how to make her understand. He’d always worried himself sick over Carla’s job, his fears only growing more intense as their connection had deepened. Now that he was back, that worry was scraping him raw inside. Made him feel like she might be stolen from him before he even had the chance to get ahold of her.
If a bloody miracle happened and she eventually agreed to let him complete the bond, how would he cope with what she did for a living? Could he cope with it? Would she give him any consideration at all, or dig her heels in and turn a deaf ear to his concerns?
Damn it, it was always like a chess game with her, and he didn’t know how to win. Didn’t know which move would be the right one to land him his queen—or what the hell he’d do with her once he got her, considering everything that stood between
them. She made him feel a thousand different things at once, and he was still too wound up by her sudden appearance back in his life to make heads or tails of any of it. All he knew was that he was done with...with this. With feeling like the gulf between them was growing wider with every second that went by.
Elise’s gaze sharpened as she studied his scowling face. “You know,” she murmured, “whatever is going on between you and Carla, it hasn’t exactly put Wyatt and I in an easy situation. He’s protective of her, and I’m protective of you. But I’m starting to wonder if I’m on the right side in this thing.”
“Leave it alone, El. You and Wyatt don’t need us causing problems for you.”
“Nothing is coming between us,” she said in a tone that was more confident than anything he’d ever heard from her before. “We’re just worried, Eli. But I have a feeling there’s a lot you need to fill me in on, whether you want to or not.”
“No offense, sis, but it isn’t any of your business.”
She turned her head a bit to the side, staring out at the thick woods that lay just beyond the kitchen window, the look on her beautiful face making his insides tighten, as if he needed to brace for an emotional blow. Then she looked at him and said, “Did you ever wonder why mother named me Elise?”
Wondering where she was going with this, and wanting to talk about anything in the world besides their mother, he gave an uncomfortable shrug. “No idea, El. I’m assuming she just liked the name.”
Her lips twitched with a brief smile. “It never struck you that it was a little too similar to your own?”
His tension cranked a notch higher, and he mirrored her pose, crossing his arms over his chest. “What are you getting at?”
Softly, she said, “One of my earliest memories of her is the day she explained it to me. She said that Eric was her little troublemaker, but you were her rock. Strong and proud and never afraid to stand up for what was important to you, even though you were just a child. And she wanted me to be like that. She said it was never easy for women in our world, and she wanted me to have every advantage going in, so she named me Elise because she wanted me to carry a part of you with me, wherever I went.”
He scrubbed his hands over his face as her quiet words wound their way through his head, then placed his fists against the tabletop and took a sharp breath. Christ, if his mother only knew what kind of boy he’d become after she’d left. The things he’d done to keep as much of his father’s attention focused on him as he could, and not on Eric or Elise, were far from noble. He’d often acted like a bully and a thug just to keep the old man happy, and that was a shame he’d carry with him for the rest of his life.
Despite the ruthless reputation he’d earned as a high-priced mercenary, the rumors of his greed were greatly exaggerated. Yeah, he’d made a ton of cash at times, but there’d also been a lot of jobs that hadn’t even come with a paycheck. More than once, he and the other guys had helped villagers who barely had enough to feed themselves, ridding the area of the bloodthirsty drug cartels who destroyed their fields and way of life. Had rescued women and children who’d been sold into the horrific sex slave industry, returning them to their homes. But Eli knew that sometimes there simply weren’t enough good deeds to erase the stains on your past. Which meant he was probably a bigger fool than he’d ever realized, since he just kept on trying.
“Eli?”
Feeling as if the gritty words were being torn out of him, he forced his gaze to Elise’s and said, “Don’t, El. Whatever you do, don’t be like me.”
Covering one of his big, scarred hands with her soft ones, she gave him a crooked smile. “I hate to burst your bubble, but I think you’re pretty damn awesome. So you’ll stay my hero whether you want to or not.”
He shoved his free hand through his hair, and swallowed the lump of bitterness stuck in his throat. “Damn it, honey. If you only knew.”
“Knew what?” she asked, tilting her head a bit as she studied him.
He debated, wanting to unload the heavy burden of his secret after all these years once and for all, the weight of it crushing him down, but still terrified of what it would mean. Would his sister hate him? Would Eric? Would he lose them now that he’d only just come back to them?
And was the fear of that happening just another part of why he’d opted to stay away for so long? Because as long as he wasn’t with them, he didn’t have to fight this constant battle to keep what he’d done inside?
Needing to get the hell out of there before he said something he would no doubt regret, he pushed back from the table and stood. “Thanks for the coffee, honey, but I have to go.”
She reached out and caught his hand, squeezing it until he finally looked down at her. “Eli,” she murmured with concern, “whatever it is, you know I’ll still love you. Right?”
He nodded as he pulled his hand from hers, then turned and walked out, no doubt leaving her with a thousand questions.
And not a single answer.
Chapter 7
After suffering two days of hell, Eli was ready to howl. He was frustrated, exhausted, and so goddamn hungry for a certain little half-breed it was driving him mad. She was doing a damn good job of avoiding him, the glimpses he occasionally got of her twisting him into knots of tension and craving. There were so many things he needed to say to her, things he needed to make her understand, more of them building up inside him with every hour that went by, but she wasn’t giving him the chance.
Hell, she wasn’t even willing to be in the same room with him. Which made it damn difficult to give her the explanations she’d demanded of him.
Their relationship, whatever it was at this point, had turned into one hot, tangled mess of should haves and shouldn’t haves, and all he wanted was to tie her sweet little ass down and make her listen. He finally understood that there was no way forward until he did that, and while he still didn’t have everything figured out in his head, the one thing he knew beyond any doubt was that he didn’t want her breaking their bond. Yeah, there were a thousand and one issues they needed to work through, but that was the one thing that was non-negotiable.
“Yo, boss man!” Kyle suddenly barked, jerking Eli from his thoughts. “You heard a word I’ve said?”
“Doubt it,” Lev murmured. They were all sitting around the kitchen table in the cabin that Eli and Kyle were sharing. Grinning like a jackass, Lev lifted his coffee mug and added, “He’s too busy mentally undressing the little Runner in his dirty daydreams.”
“Lev, shut up,” he muttered, before looking at his second-in-command. “Sorry, Kyle. Go on with what you were saying.”
Kyle leaned back in his chair. “I was telling you that the guys and I have finally ironed out a plan.”
“Great. Let’s hear it.” He’d been waiting two damn days for this.
“First, the way we see it, there are two basic problems that we have to deal with: the fact that they have more bodies than we do, and the fact that they control the timing of their attack. There’s not much we can do about the first, but the second is one we can take away from them.”
His brows lifted with interest. “And how do we do that?”
Sam gave him a slow smile. “That’s where the plan comes in.”
Twenty minutes later, Eli agreed that what they’d come up with was a brilliant idea that might actually succeed despite their limited numbers, and he told the guys to take it to Mason and the Runners. The five of them had been working closely with the Runners for the past few days, with the exception of Carla and Wyatt, who kept taking every “out of Alley” assignment that came up.
Thankfully, he and the guys were getting along great with the rest of the group, and the training sessions they’d been helping out with were progressing even more rapidly than they’d hoped. Everyone in the Alley was trying to keep a positive attitude, and the arrival of thirty Lycans from the Pennsylvania-based Blackstone pack, who were willing to help with security patrols, had been greatly appreciated. And there’d be
en a message from the Greywolf—who had actually threatened to move in on the Silvercrest’s northern border in order to prevent the Whiteclaw from encroaching on their territory—that they were standing down. Apparently, the news that Eli and his group of ruthless mercenaries were now working with the Silvercrest had been enough to make the Greywolf rethink their position.
The rest of the morning was spent working out on the training fields, and then he and the guys worked with Mason and Brody to fortify defenses in the Alley. As the day wore on, he constantly searched for Carla’s blond hair in the crowd of people moving around the glade, but she wasn’t anywhere to be seen.
“Hey, Eli, wait up!” Kyle called out, just as Eli was climbing up the front steps of the cabin they were sharing. He didn’t have the patience to deal with any more of his friend’s ribbing at the moment, and was about to tell him to get lost, when Kyle said, “I thought you might want to know that she’s back.”
He turned so quickly he damn near took out James, who was climbing the porch steps behind him. “Sorry,” he muttered, shoving past James and Lev as he hurried back down, scanning the glade. The instant he saw her on the far side, he took off.
“Carla!” he called, not caring if he looked like an idiot to those who were probably watching him.
She kept walking, and he nearly crashed into Brody and Cian, who were deep in conversation in front of Brody’s cabin, as he ran across the Alley, trying to reach her before she disappeared inside Wyatt’s place and locked the door again. She’d fucking done it twice already when he’d tried to get her alone.
“Stop, damn it!” he shouted, causing everyone around them to quit what they were doing and look at him. “We need to talk!”
Ignoring him, she started walking faster. Eli cursed, ready to knock the damn door down this time if he had to—and then he got the break he needed. One of the soon-to-be moms stepped out onto Carla’s porch to ask her something about the thermostat in her cabin, and she was forced to stop and answer the woman’s question. Breathing hard, Eli slowed down and positioned himself partially in front of her, his hungry gaze taking in every inch of her delectable form while she finished her conversation. She was dressed in a dirt-stained pair of jeans, tight black T-shirt, and black boots, her golden hair falling loose around her shoulders. It was her standard work look, and he could tell by the light sheen of sweat on her arms and face that she’d been doing something strenuous, her provocative scent even richer than normal, so good he could sense it like something warm and sweet on his tongue.
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