Low Down & Dirty

by Addison Moore

  A crooked smile comes to my lips, but I can’t help it. “That you’re my married boss and I’m eager to have a full-blown affair?”

  He belts out a laugh that dies as quick as it came. “Maybe go easy on the details.”

  “Okay.” I wrap my arms around his waist. “I’ll make sure we keep things light. And thank you in advance.” My teeth graze my lip over and over again with apprehension of what the night might bring.

  “For what? Spending time with the girl I can’t keep my hands off?” His voice softens, as does his gaze.

  “For spending time with my psycho of a sister. Lisa is going to drill and grill you. Stay strong, my friend.” I give his rock-hard ass a squeeze. “Stay strong.”

  Friar’s Corner is deficient of its fair share of Starbucks and Walmarts and doesn’t even register on the radar of any modern map. It’s one of those long-forgotten, one cow towns that is stuck in another era, another century, a simpler time when girls still get both a reputation and an ass whooping for looking at, let alone living with a married man.

  Levi drives as I point the way to the tiny home I grew up in, the one Lisa and her husband, Dave, now own and live in.

  No sooner do we pull up to the tiny baby blue bungalow than my younger sisters greet us on the porch.

  I pull them both into a giant group hug. “Levi, this is Sadie. She’s a senior and graduates in two weeks. And this is Everly. She’ll be a senior in the fall.” They’re both blonde and beautiful, same blue-green eyes as our mother.

  “Future Briggs’ girls?”

  “That’s right.” Sadie gives him the side-eye while jutting out her chest, and oh my God, is she hitting on my man?

  “Down, girl. Let’s head inside, ladies, and get this show on the road.”

  Lisa spots us from the kitchen and lets out a roaring whoop as she heads on over with each of her girls tucked in her arms. Karly and Kasey are four and five and small little blonde whippets at that. Lisa, however, is a blonde bombshell with big blue eyes, a big personality, and those heart-stopping looks of hers, I’m sure have already rendered Levi speechless. Lisa looks startlingly like our mother, and at times that’s been both a blessing and a curse.

  Lisa stops shy of attacking me and feasts her eyes on the strapping god I’ve managed to drag in with me.

  “Well, hell—icopter.” She lands the girls down, and they scatter. Lisa promised herself she’d give up expletives for life once her little girls were born, and she’s holding strong in that department, but in lieu of that fact, she’s liable to get a little creative with the English language. “What the fudge? Or should I say, who the hells bells is this handsome man? Please say he’s my present.”

  “Again—down, girl.” I wrap an arm around Levi, and he laughs while extending a hand.

  “Levi Masterson.”

  “Oh?” Lisa perks up, and I cringe because I know what’s coming next. “You wouldn’t happen to be related to Raven Masterson, would you?”

  And there it is. Lisa knows Raven all too well.

  “My God!” Lisa chirps, and my sisters gather around to gawk. “There she is hiding in your face!” The three of them let out a congratulatory whoop. “Raven came down to Friar’s Corner just about every single Sunday along with this one right here.” Lisa doesn’t take her eyes off Levi. In fact, if I didn’t know better, I’d swear she was salivating. “I don’t remember Raven mentioning a strapping older brother.”

  “She’s got two.” I avert my eyes at the thought of two-timing Chip.

  “So, is this official?” Lisa’s left brow hikes in the air, and my stomach boils in its own acids. Dear God, that eyebrow has roasted and toasted the best of them. Please, Lord, let that be her one and final question.

  Levi and I share that deer in the headlights look and hem and haw our way through the next ten seconds while Sadie and Everly giggle up a storm. Traitors.

  “Ah, so it’s new.” Lisa’s head tips back, and her eyes slant the way they do before she’s about to pull out the sword with which to gut you. “Say—you look about my age.” She winks. The wink of death. “Any exes under your belt yet? Have you taken the paralyzing plunge? You know, made an unholy merger?”

  “Yes,” Levi flatlines, and that grin he’s been wearing since we stepped out of the car is quickly dissipating.

  Gah! This is no time to tell the truth! I do my best to step in his line of vision and give my head a barely there shake. Abort! Abort!

  Lisa chortles like only she can because she knows she’s got him. “What’s my little sissy trying to hide?” She wags a finger at him. “Let me guess. You’ve got two ex-Mrs. Mastersons hiding in the wings? Three?”

  If only.

  Levi takes in a breath, his already massive chest expanding like an accordion. “I think maybe what Low doesn’t want you to know is the fact my divorce isn’t quite final.”

  Oh. My. Shit.

  You can feel the oxygen vacuuming out of the room as my three sisters, including Dave who seems to have stepped into the room at the entirely wrong time, suck in a never-ending lungful of air.

  “A married man?” Lisa laughs as she says it like only a madwoman can. Her stern eyes narrow in on mine, and I can feel the very real and sudden urge to bolt to my room. “Harlow Hartley, you have got to be fucking with me.” The entire room seizes. And there goes her, for lack of a better word—fucking record. “This is a joke, right? I mean, the next thing you know you’ll try to tell me the two of you are living together.”

  A choking sound emits from my throat, and Lisa’s intake of air increases to dangerous levels.

  My sister’s face turns a ripe shade of cherry. “Crap on a crap cracker, Harlow.” She closes her eyes a moment.

  “Ear muffs!” David shouts at my nieces, and even my incessantly giggling little sisters have slapped their hands over their ears. When I say Lisa has everyone in this house trained, I mean everyone.

  Lisa steps forward and cups my face with her hands. “Oh, honey, I know he’s knock-your-kinckers-off gorgeous, but don’t you see he’s using you?”

  “No—I promise, I’m not.” Levi is suddenly wild-eyed and vocal. A little too late for that.

  “Yes, he is,” she insists. The rife worry on her face makes me feel like puking. “My God, all married men who cheat tell their poor, innocent, younger, better-looking lovers that they’re about to get a divorce.”

  “But he really is.” I hate how I just whined that out.

  “Enough,” she grits it through her teeth. “I will be civil to your guest this evening, but this conversation is far from over.” She snaps her neck to Levi and mumbles something about a chicken bone lodging in his throat.

  Dave steps forward with an ear-to-ear grin, because clearly we’re nothing more than the entertainment for the evening. “Dinner’s ready.” Dave is lanky and balding, but the nicest, kindest man on the planet. And have I mentioned a saint to put up with my sister?

  Dinner is home-cooked heaven, and thankfully Sadie and Everly regale us with all the stories about their promposals—yes, it’s an actual proposal to go to prom—they even model the dresses they’ll be wearing. My nieces run around screaming and yelling, and by the time we dole out the birthday cake, sans the birthday brownie Levi and I brought that Lisa shoved into the freezer and promptly forgot—nevertheless, the girls need to be peeled off the ceiling. My sisters have long since retreated to their room, most likely to sleep off the sugar coma.

  Lisa stands and eyes her miniature doppelgangers. “I’d better get these two to bed.” No sooner does Lisa say the word than the girls scatter like frightened mice. While she and Dave try their best to wrangle them up, I take Levi on a tour of all the framed family photos Lisa has set out.

  “That’s me with my missing front teeth.”

  He wraps his arms around my waist from behind and buries a quiet kiss under my ear. “You are hot with or without teeth.”

  “You should see what I can do with my new chompers.” I bite the air, a
nd he winces. We stop in front of an old family portrait, the last one we ever took with all of the original members. “And that’s a family lineup from back in the day—when we were all together, last time.” My voice grows small. “There’s my mother.” I point to her in the pink dress. “Looking like Lisa, I suppose. And my father.” I’m still mesmerized by his dark brows. “And us girls in height order.” My arms are intertwined around my father’s legs as if already at that young age I could sense his need to bolt. I wanted to ground him, just as badly as I wanted to keep my mother alive that day.

  “How long after this did you take that car ride?”

  “The road to Key Largo?” I try to lighten the mood, but you could tie a boat to the tension in the room and it wouldn’t go anywhere. “About five minutes. I think it was just a few months after that.”

  His chest expands and relaxes over my back as he sighs deeply, his breath warming my neck. “And how about your mom? Can I ask what happened?”

  “I killed her.” I take in a deep breath and hold it. “I’ve never uttered those words in this house. I was fifteen, just got my learner’s permit, and drove us through an intersection at the wrong time. We were T-boned. She was on the vent for a week. We told her she could go home if she wanted to. She was pretty banged up. No sooner did we say those words than she flew away. Lisa took over and life marched on.”

  “Come here.” Levi spins me around and gently lifts me by the chin until I’m forced to look at him. His eyes bear into mine a good long while as if he were sending all of his grief into me telepathically. “That was a terrible accident. Accidents happen. I’m sorry you had to go through any of it.” His lips twitch as his eyes gloss over with emotion. “I don’t want you to hold yourself responsible for that. You didn’t kill her.”

  My arms wrap around him tight as I bury my face in his chest and buck with tears. It’s been a good long while since I’ve cried over the death of my mother—or the dine and ditch my father pulled.

  “It’s okay.” He presses a heated kiss over the top of my head.

  Lisa and Dave thunder down the stairs, and I take a full step away from Levi in the event Lisa shows up with a machete. Tonight’s the kind of night where everything’s on the table—and I’d hate to think Levi’s dick might end up there, too.

  “I think we’ll be going now.” I sniff back the tears that I’m sure have already landed on my sister’s radar.

  Dave says a quick goodnight before offering to get my sisters, but Lisa glares at Levi as if he just stole our mother’s ashes. “Can I have a word with you alone?” She nods to the kitchen, and he’s quick to comply.

  Sadie and Everly run down and smother me with love and I love on them right back, trying to memorize the amazing way their hair smells. And before I know it, Levi is right next to me on the front porch.

  “That was short and sweet,” I whisper as we make our way to the car.

  “Most threats are.”

  And that’s all I need to know.

  The ride home is mostly silent with the rare exception of grunts and murmurs of our discontent. It’s as if all of our frustrations have finally bottlenecked, and both Levi and I are about to burst at the seams. All I know is that I’m all out of my sexual reserves and I’m scrounging, jonesing for just one hit of Levi Masterson. And, ironically, I don’t at all feel romantic at the moment. I feel pissed. Livid. I’m fuming over the fact Raven is orchestrating my sex life from exotic locales like Milan and Barbados, making me masturbate in the corner while I have a perfectly good specimen seated right next to me.

  Once we arrive back at the house, Levi starts a fire and I fire up the stove.

  “You’re not making brownies again, are you?” He stomps into the kitchen looking stupefied as if I were about to hack the tails off a litter of kittens for the umpteenth time.

  I turn Bertie Higgins on and let “Key Largo” filter through the air, set on a loop before I bother to answer him. God knows an entire stream of expletives is begging to shoot right out of me.

  “Why yes, Levi, I am making brownies again. You see, my ingrate of a sister put them in the freezer to save for later since they already had a cake, thus creating a divide between my daily allotment of their ooey gooey goodness and me.” I pull the bowl out of the cabinet and slam it onto the island. “And you’re welcome by the way.”

  He grunts while folding his arms across his chest, watching me as if he were my supervisor—a decidedly hot and vexingly handsome to the bone supervisor, but a watchman nonetheless.

  “What has you so worked up?” I pull out the cocoa and the chocolate chips, the flour and the baking powder. “It’s your sister that holds the key to this chastity belt.”

  “My sister?” His head ticks back a notch. Levi’s brows arch in that way that frames those glowing eyes, and my heart lets out an unnatural thump. Have I mentioned he is quite the specimen? The body of a lumberjack, the mind of a genius, and a heart of gold, mostly.

  I frown over at him. “Yes, your sister. This is what you get for letting Raven rule the roost.” I point the spatula at him. “It’s probably all your fault she’s a naughty little brat who always gets her way.”

  He barks out an obnoxious laugh. “My sister didn’t threaten my balls an hour ago.”

  “Ugh!” A primal cry rips from my throat, and all I see is red as I retrieve the eggs from the fridge. Then I strut right over to him and land my hands flat against his chest and give him a solid shove—albeit unfruitful, since he’s still planted in the exact same spot I found him in. Moving Levi is like trying to relocate a mountain. He’s solid and strapping, and all kinds of good things under those clothes that I will never know about because his sister is such a pushy little tart. “My sister is only looking out for me. Unlike your sister who is only looking out for herself.”

  He leans in, his eyes narrowed as if he were livid himself. “My sister is only looking out for the both of us.”

  “Ha!” I laugh right in his face, and my lips double dare me to cover his, but I’m too stubborn to listen. “My sister thinks you’re a two-timing cheat about to pull me under into the wicked world of adulterous fornication. Your sister knows that I’m a great person. Your sister knows that you’re a great person. Why in the hell wouldn’t she want us together? Because she’s having a tantrum. That’s why! Raven is a big fat baby. She couldn’t handle the thought of me parading around this place in my underwear, trying to seduce her angel of a brother!” My voice hikes to its highest soprano as my fingers work my blouse off then my skirt. I drop trou right there in the kitchen as “Key Largo” carries on its melodramatic tune. In all my life, I have never imagined doing an inadvertent strip tease to the song I grew up listening to like a life raft, but right now it feels far more like a battle cry.

  Levi’s eyes widen as he takes that visual elevator up and down. My feet are still pressed neatly in my Louboutins. My lace panties just so happen to match my lace bra, and both are appropriately see-through. It’s what I had donned this morning in hopes that this would finally be the day we kicked Raven and all her ideals to the curb, and instead we’re arguing at ten o’clock at night—half-dressed, half-baked, half a mind to shove one another into that roaring fire eating up the next room.

  His Adam’s apple rises and falls as he steps forward and cups my face. His steely eyes bear hard into mine, and they’re saying so much more than words ever can.

  “Low”—he sighs into my name, and a smile comes up on the other end of it—“I don’t want to fight with you. In fact, there’s something I’ve been wanting to say to you all day.”

  A flicker of light emanates from the living room and the heat level rises, but I solely attribute that second part to the fact Levi’s body is inching ever so dangerously close to mine.

  “Oh my God!” he shouts so loud, I close my eyes from the blowback. Levi bolts into the living room, and I trot right along with him, only to find that damn robotic fireplace has sent a line of flames all the way to the ceiling. �
��Shit!” he barks as he points the defunct remote to it as if it were a gun, and just as quick as the flames engulfed the vicinity, they disappear on command. In its wake are a badly charred wall and a few sparks still shooting out from the armpit of the fireplace.

  “Nice save.” My heart does its best to launch right out of my throat, and I press a hand to my chest as if keeping it in. “Maybe we should go old school next time? You know, firewood and a match.” It’s then I notice that monkey with five arms is blackened from the flames, and I head right over to it. “Oh, no! Your grandmother’s gift!” No sooner do I pick it up than Levi turns my way from across the room.

  “Be careful—it’s hot,” he shouts just as I launch the scalding piece of questionable art into the air, and I stand there, watching the horrific event in slow motion. The knives gleam as they twirl airborne, slowly coming back down to earth, all of its five razors aiming straight for me—but I’m frozen solid, completely unable to navigate from ground zero. The only thought going through my mind is that it’s the last thing Levi has left of his grandmother.

  “Low!” Levi’s voice comes in slow and deep, demonic in nature. His body wraps itself around mine as he tackles me and lands us both on the sofa, his heavy protective frame securely settled over mine. And just as our eyes connect in something other than irritation for the first time all night, a horrific crash comes from our right as the monkey in all of his primate knife-wielding glory shatters into a million tiny pieces.

  I gasp as I look over to see it sprayed about the hardwood floor like confetti.

  “I’m so sorry.” I bury my face in his chest, and all of the tension of this evening just pours right out of me like the loosening of a damn.

  “It’s not your fault,” he says it quiet like maybe it is. Levi lifts me by the chin, and I’m met with those watery blue eyes, that budding crooked grin that I’ve grown to love like crazy. Hell, I’m in love with all of him. I’ve never felt this way about anyone in my life. To hell with Raven and her overprotective ideals. Wouldn’t she rather he end up with me than with the last nut he was with? “I promise you, it wasn’t that important to me. I’m just glad you’re safe. My concern is for you.” That greedy grin of his spreads wide. “You’re half-naked. I didn’t want those flames anywhere near your body.” He swallows hard, and the moment grows serious. “And who knows? Maybe as much as my sister is doing her best to keep us apart, my grandmother of all people has joined us together—literally so to speak.”