Low Down & Dirty

by Addison Moore

  She takes in a quivering breath as if attempting to center herself. “I’m always great. I’m always great,” she says it twice, almost catatonic as if it were her morning mantra she’s been repeating for years, and knowing Lex, it just might be.

  “Don’t worry. It’ll be over before you know it. If you need me to meet you at Hallowed Grounds tomorrow morning to help with that fab write-up, I’ll be there with bells on.”

  She shoots me a look just as the boys come out carrying two huge oversized plates, each with a smorgasbord of everything on it from foie gras to Sevruga. Not including the fact two of the plates are loaded with our new vegan options for the less carnivorous among us—asparagus fries and cauliflower hot wings that are to die for—and yes, ironically, they taste like chicken.

  “I’ll walk you through it.”

  “No speaking,” she hisses my way as plates brimming with food land magically before her.

  Brody gives an awkward sort of a bow and ducks out of her way before she does something irrational and pins him in the head with a saucer. And Axel just sort of stands there staring at her as if he were in a trance.

  “Lexy,” Axel strums it out slow and sedated, and I can’t help but gasp.

  Lexy? What is this shit? Even I know the rules of engagement as far as her triple X highness is concerned. Her name is Lex. Under no circumstances does anyone call her Alexa or God forbid Lexy. Is he trying to incite a war?

  Lex’s eyes grow wide with fury, but thankfully she keeps her gaze fixed straight ahead, and my foie grois still has a fighting duck liver of a chance.

  Levi pulls me in close and plants his mouth near my ear. “What’s going on?”

  “She’s fine,” I whisper as I take a step in. “And for our first course, we’d love for you to try the small plate sampler, which has six new menu items to start the palate off on the right course for the night.”

  Lex picks up her fork and begins stabbing away as if the appetizers were running amuck on the table and she needed to pin them down with her tines.

  I catch Levi stepping away and spot his mother along with Chip and Meredith making their untimely appearance. Great. Levi tries his best to seat them, but they insist on following him over. Of course, they do.

  Crap. The more people goggling Lex, the more her blood pressure will skyrocket—and with my luck, her cholesterol levels will, too. Two things she’ll blame me for over coffee tomorrow morning. And seeing that I was unsuccessful in making her ex disappear for the night, I’m out an extra two hundred fifty dollars to boot.

  I glance back to find Meredith cozying up to Levi, and my stomach sinks. Did I expect anything less? Now that he’s no longer legally hers, she wants him back. Poor Chip is brooding next to Bonnie, and they both offer a polite wave my way.

  Levi makes his way back and lands a kiss to my ear. “She seems happy.”

  “Not as happy as Mer.” Sorry, I mouth. “I couldn’t help it.”

  “I promise you, there is nothing to worry about in that arena.” He digs his fingers into my hips, and we watch as Lex annihilates all the tiny samplers we’ve set out before her. I provided her with a food map so she would know exactly what she’s noshing on. Lex mentioned that an eatery down in Jepson had done that for her once and scored major points on the write-up, so of course, I utilized my inside information to the hilt. Now, if only my main menu options hit it out of the park, The Sloppy Pelican will be on its way to becoming the new premier eatery in the tri-city area. If we can start hauling them in from Jepson, too, I know for a fact we’ll be out of the red in no time.

  “You should start with the truffle wagyu beef burger.” Brody has the nerve to pipe up, and she glares at him, only the way a frosty-hearted woman can.

  “Thank you,” she says it curt and stuns the entire lot of us with the simple sound of her voice. She cuts a glance my way that says I want his head on a platter—but only after I whack off Axel’s major apex, I’m assuming. Lex would make a wicked evil queen, and a part of me loves it. She basically amounts to having a real life Disney villain right at my fingertips.

  “Surprise!” a high-pitched wail of a voice cries from behind, and the entire bar turns to the entrance to find a beautiful tan bombshell of a girl with long black hair and those familiar killer ocean blue eyes.

  “Oh my God!” I gasp along with Bonnie. “Raven!” I scream as my in-the-flesh bestie bolts over, and I pull her into a tight rocking hug.

  “I’m here!” she squeals as a dog pile of bodies tries to get in on the action and all attention is diverted from Lex. “I felt so bad that I’ve missed so much I just put my damn foot down.” She covers her cute little bowtie lips with her fingers as she looks to Bonnie. “Sorry, Mom!” She pulls her brothers in. “Chip—Levi! It’s been forever since I’ve held my two favorite brothers. You feel so good. I have so much to tell you. We have so much to talk about.”

  Levi does his best to blink back tears, and instinctively I wrap my arms around him.

  Raven takes a lunging step back. “What’s this?”

  “Oh!” I set my arms back to my sides as if I just pulled them out of a bonfire. “I was about to tip over in these damn heels.” I kick a Louboutin in the air. Dear God, forgive me for lying so blatantly about my blameless beautiful stilettos. I can only pray karma has a forgiving heart and a weakness for a good shoe.

  “Oh, hon”—Bonnie waves a hand as if I were silly, little does she know how very fucking silly I really am—“that’s Levi’s new girl.”

  Raven’s mouth falls open, and her eyes go red with rage in a flash, cartoon style.

  “Why, that’s right!” I say a little too loud as Levi shakes his head at me. Okay, so he’s not so hot on doing the big reveal at the moment, but lucky for him neither am I. “This is his new girl, right here.” I back up and hold a hand out to Lex as if she were the booby prize—and at the moment, she sort of is.

  Lex glances up with a napkin paused to her lips. A paper napkin? Who the hell disobeyed my wishes and chose to forgo the damn linen? This entire night is going to hell in a cheap paper handbasket.

  Lex flexes a smile, and everyone in an eight-foot circumference freezes. You only need to be around the girl for five solid seconds to figure out her face doesn’t crack. At least not for something as trivial as joy. In fact, she’s the only woman on the planet who can evoke a holy terror in me at the curve of her lips.

  Lex stands up and nearly towers me in her six-inch heels. Her vampire red lipstick is still perfectly in place, and it showcases that wicked grin twitching to life like the anomaly it is.

  “Well, well”—she looks down at my bestie with those soulless eyes—“you must be Raven.”

  Raven swallows audibly, unsure of what to make of the glamazon in our midst dressed like a biker chick on a mission to eviscerate every male in the great state of North Carolina.

  “Why yes, I am.” The words come out curt as Raven’s own rock solid beauty comes out strong, and I can’t help but think this feels like a battle of the Titans. “People tell me you’ve been seeing my brother, Levi.”

  A smattering of whispers and gasps breaks out around us, because well, Raven, Lex, and I are the only three people who actually think this to be true. And at the moment, I’m doing my best not to glance my new boyfriend’s way. One look and he’ll see right through these shenanigans.

  Lex drops that smile on her face like a bad tick and is right back to glaring. She glances up at Levi and gives a simple nod. “You—come here.”

  She points to the spot next to her, and he’s slow to comply. I’m pretty sure he’s more interested in garnering a good review than he is in disobeying her dominatrix-like command, but a part of me is purring at his responsiveness. I’ll have to turn up my inner dominatrix once we get back to the bedroom. I glare over at Raven for even thinking of cock-blocking me this evening.

  Raven gasps as if mortified to see her brother listening to this needle-laden goddess. “Levi Masterson, what is this skank doing in
your establishment? Don’t tell me you’re still entertaining the likes of her. I’ll tell you right now. It’s time to dropkick this ho to the door.”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Lex rotates her head as if it were on a swivel. “Did you just call me a skank and a ho? In front of God and my boyfriend, Levi?” she roars it out with such power I’m about to wrap myself around Raven like a human shield. God, I’ll never forgive myself if Lex goes rogue and starts in on a hacking spree. She can take all our eyes out with that regalia she’s armed herself with.

  Raven steps up and scoffs right in her face. “Why yes, I did. And now I’m going to ask you to pick your porcupine self up and march right out that door, sweetie. And when the door hits you on the ass, take that as a special goodbye just from me.” Ha! Raven and I are totally on the same wavelength with that whole porcupine thing. But still, Lex is hot as fuck.

  Meredith steps in before Lex can catch her next breath. “What the hell is going on here? Levi isn’t dating this Goth zombie.”

  Lex growls in her direction, and Mer slinks right back to Bonnie.

  Raven tosses back her mile-long hair the way she does when she’s readying for a showdown—or a fistfight. “I know she’s not with him. He told me all about the breakup.”

  I glance to Levi, and his shoulders twitch with a shrug. But that guilty look on his face says he sure as hell knows what’s up. We didn’t break up, did we? Never mind. I’ll deal with him later.

  Lex leans into Raven, landing dangerously close to my OG bestie who’s about to morph into a landmine. “Oh, sweetie, your big, strong, handsome brother and I are still very much on.” She casts the briefest of glances to Axel, which most likely explains the elongated description of Levi’s good looks. It’s becoming clear Lex is utilizing these unfortunate events to her advantage, just like any ex worth her salt would. I can’t hold it against her. Lex is just a badass that way.

  “No, you’re not—at least not for long.” Raven whips out her phone and messes with it for a second. “See? Right here in this text he says he’s about to give you the big heave-ho.” She points hard at the screen that no one is reading, but my heart sinks at the thought that she might be right.

  Lex huffs at Raven’s tantrum as if it were a stone in her path. “Your brother and I are solid, and I’ll prove it.” Lex gloms onto Levi so fast and hard the air in the room vacuums around them. Before I can process what’s happening, her lips adhere to his, and he’s walking backward trying his best to push her away. But Lex proves stealth, and soon she lands her legs over his waist while her hands do their best to hold his head steady. Levi trips, and they tumble to the floor, but Lex lands on top—I suspect she does that quite often in life—her face still sucking down hard over his. Levi twists and turns his head like a toddler unwilling to take his medicine, but Lex is unrelenting in her administration of the curious elixir.

  “Shit!” I shrill as the room breaks out into sheer chaos. Brody and Chip run over and stop short as Axel roars out something unintelligible.

  “Out of my way!” I scream, bolting over and pulling Lex off by the hair. No sooner does she roll over than Levi backs out of her clutches.

  Axel helps Levi to his feet. “You piece of shit,” he murmurs before he decks him, and soon fists are flying and Lex is growling at me to let the hell go.

  “What is going on?” Raven shouts as she traipses over in her heels, her face rife with worry.

  “Let me see that text.” I pluck the phone out of her hand.

  Yup. You’re right. She’s an immature brat. A real hurricane in the flesh, too. The girl destroys everything she touches. I can’t wait to get her out of my life, but you know me, I’m too nice to do it. I might just let her use me a few more nights before kicking her to the curb. I never did have good radar for women.

  “What?” I stagger on my feet while Levi and Axel tear the place up. My stomach bottoms out right along with my heart. I destroy everything I touch? That weapons grade monkey comes to mind. I shattered it to pieces. I glance up and see chairs flying and customers speeding out of every orifice. This is all my fault, too. A ripe anger boils in me, courses through my veins like venom strong enough to stop my beating heart.

  “Come on.” I pull Lex to the door, and Raven follows.

  “Damn right, we’re kicking you out!” Raven barks in Lex’s face as we step into the cool night air.

  “We’re not kicking her out,” I growl at Lex. “I’m going with her.” I turn to face Raven. “If your brother wants me out of his life, then that’s exactly what he’ll get.” I grab ahold of Lex’s hand and drag her into the parking lot.

  “Wait!” Raven calls after us. “Why would he want you out of his life?”

  Lex unlocks the doors to her Range Rover and speeds us out of the lot.

  “I have no clue, Raven,” I say under my breath. “I’d like to know the answer to that myself.”

  Lex drives me back to Levi’s, where she helps me do a thirty-second sweep of the place as we spastically collect my things, and we’re off again.

  “Where to?” Lex keeps her gaze set on the darkness in front of us.

  “Your place.” I don’t hesitate with the answer.

  “Again. Where to?”

  “Fine. Have it your way. Friar’s Corner.”

  “Friar’s Corner?” She lifts a sharp, angled brow. “My place it is. You can share the spare bedroom with Strudel.”

  “Great. By chance, Axel doesn’t know where you live, does he?”

  “Heck no.” Her fingers spread wide before gripping the wheel once again with a vengeance.

  “Good. That means no one can find me.” And that’s exactly what I want—to be left the hell alone.

  Lex drives us to a quiet neighborhood not too far from Whitney Briggs University, to a cozy little house with a white picket fence—the last place on earth I would suspect a ham-fisted vixen like Lex would live. I meet Strudel in all his handsome glory and fall onto the bed in the guest room before letting out a river of tears. I watch as my phone lights up with messages from Raven, from Levi, each begging me to call them, swearing none of it was true. But I don’t call them. I pull the covers up over my head and don’t plan on coming up for the next three days.

  Levi

  Raven drove back to the house with me, only to find that Low beat us to it and licked the place clean of any evidence she ever lived here. We head back to The Sloppy Pelican, and I head straight over to Axel who’s still sweeping broken dishes off the floor. It’s a ghost town in here. Not even the band is in sight.

  “We’re closing early.” Ax grunts as if someone painfully welded the broom to his hand.

  But I’m not here to debate the hours of operation. I pull him in by the shirt and set my face next to his. “Where the hell does this batshit crazy ex of yours live?” I can hardly contain my breathing. It’s taking everything I’ve got not to knock his head into a wall until he spills every detail he knows.

  “Dude”—he gives a hard push to my chest and sends me staggering back—“don’t touch me again.” His left lid hangs heavy where I decked him earlier, and he nods up at my own face. “Sorry about the busted lip.” He takes a seat, and Raven and I fall in across from him. “I don’t know where Lexy lives. I don’t know anything about her anymore.” He sighs those last few words out as if he were resigned to the fact he never will again. “We haven’t spoken in years. I was sort of hoping we’d reconnect before she left tonight.”

  Raven scoffs while folding her arms across her chest. “Oh, she connected with someone tonight. It just wasn’t you.” She turns to glare at me, and I can feel it coming. “And you had better explain to me how my best friend managed to end up with a broken heart.”

  My mouth opens as I set to begin, and just like that, it closes again.

  Crap. It’s true. I’ve broken Low’s heart, and it grieves me to think about it. All of those horrible memories from last year come flooding back. Memories of my own broken heart, or so I thought, haunting
me with their knife-sharp pain. But the truth is, I was never in love with Meredith, not the way I should have been. And if Low is half as much in love with me as I am with her, then I know she’s in a hell of a lot of pain.

  Axel lifts his hands as if he wants no part in this conversation. “I’m headed to the back.” He takes off, and it’s just my sweet little sister, the one Low and I tried so hard to protect.

  Raven looks up at me from under her lashes, that look of vengeance still ripe on her face. “Start talking, boy, or I’m going to pick up that broom and start beating you with it.”

  A dull smile comes to my face. “Sounds like something Low would say.” And just like that, my own heart snaps in two. “Low and I weren’t hooking up.” I swallow hard as the truth bubbles to the surface. “We were falling in love.” I glance her way as her eyes grow the size of her head.

  “Oh my God! What are you talking about?”

  “I was never seeing that chick that attacked me. I don’t know where the heck you came up with that. She’s the food critic. Low befriended her. Anyway, that text I sent you—the one you said wildly upset Harlow? Evie Slater is a name Low made up for herself. She came with me to the hospital when Maxie was born and pretended to be my girlfriend to piss Meredith and Chip off—her idea, not mine. Only, in an effort to avoid the word getting back to you, she made a slight name adjustment—thus, Evie Slater was born.” I sag into my seat as if I were recalling the good old days, and in a way I am.

  “Oh—my—God.” Raven looks as if she needs a paper bag to breathe in. “So, you and Low? You pretended and then—” She shakes her head as if denying what might come next.

  “And then it was real,” I finish the thought for her.

  “Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow.” She fans herself as she does her best to blink back tears. “I can’t believe this. I strictly gave you both orders to—”

  “I know. And I don’t want to hear it. Do you know how much we’ve sacrificed to keep you happy? Please—don’t start in on the lecture. Low felt pretty bad about it—right up until I royally pissed her off with a text that was never meant for her eyes, nor was it about her.” Shit. I can’t even imagine what must be going through her mind.