The Sparrow

by Kristy McCaffrey

  A herd of horses moved in a large corral and several ranch hands milled about. A few nodded in his direction but he continued toward the main house, am immense two-story building with a white-washed wooden exterior. Leafless cottonwoods hugged the dwelling, giving little coverage to the wrap-around porch.

  A woman came to the front door, her identity fuzzy through the screen. A jolt went through him. She had dark hair so it must be Molly. With a heavy heart, he dismounted.

  As Molly stepped onto the porch, he froze.

  Emma?

  He blinked hard, thinking his eyes played tricks on him. Had he gone mad and not noticed? It couldn’t be her, yet the vision before him appeared everything like her. Like a moth to a flame, he moved toward her. She remained on the porch as he came to the bottom step. He stared in utter shock.

  “Nathan.” A slight smile crossed her lips.

  “Are you a ghost?” he asked.

  “No. Do you think I’m dead?”

  “I searched everywhere for you.” That’s when he noticed the dark circles under her eyes, the tired expression of her body, the gauntness of her frame. A ghost would never look so ragged. God, it was her. He swiftly climbed the steps and scooped her into his arms, clinging to her. “Jesus, Emma, I thought I’d lost you.”

  “I’m sorry.” Her words tumbled into his ear. “I was hurt and unconscious for a long time. I don’t know how long. Paiute Indians found me, but at first they didn’t know who I was, they didn’t know about you. By the time I was better, I didn’t know how to find you, so I came here. I’m so glad you’ve come back.”

  He released her just enough to grasp her face and kiss her. Tears streamed down her face, mixing with his own. “I dreamt about you,” he breathed into her mouth.

  “I know.” She leaned back to look at him.

  He drank in every inch of her face, memorizing it. He’d forgotten how beautiful she was.

  “I’ve something to tell you.” She hesitated. “I’m expecting.”

  Stunned, he didn’t know what to say. Then he saw the worried look on her face. He brought his mouth near to hers. “Don’t worry, Em. It’s all going to be fine.” When she didn’t respond, he kissed her. “We’ll be married as soon as possible.”

  She pulled back again. “Is that what you want?”

  He leaned his forehead onto hers. “You’re all that I want. If you say no, I’ll just keep asking until you say yes.”

  Concern was still evident in her eyes. How could he be so stupid, especially after God had answered his prayers?

  “I love you, Emma.”

  She relaxed against him. “Then the answer’s yes. And I love you, too.”

  He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her, the wildness in him finally appeased. His restlessness, his wanderings, fled and he found in their place a solace unlike anything he’d ever known. She lived. And she would stay with him. It was the only thing he wanted in this life. It was enough. No, it was more than enough. He was blessed. God gave her back to him. He couldn’t doubt the unseen world anymore since it had delivered her safe and sound back to him.

  Lifting her from her feet, he spun her around. She laughed and pushed his hat from his head.

  Two riders appeared on horseback. They dismounted swiftly and approached the house. For a brief moment the intrusion annoyed Nathan, but then he saw that it was Matt and Logan. The two men joined them on the porch.

  “It’s damn good to see you, Nathan,” Matt said and extended his hand.

  Still holding Emma close he shook his friend’s hand, then Logan’s.

  “We’ve been looking for you,” Logan said. “But as usual, you eluded us.”

  Nathan smiled at Matt’s brother. The Ryans had been like family to him these past years when he’d been estranged from his own ma. “I took my time.” He looked down at Emma. “I wish I hadn’t.”

  The screen door opened. “What on earth?” Susanna Ryan emerged. “Nathan!” She hugged him warmly. “Thank goodness. We’ve been worried sick about you. Now come inside, all of you. It’s freezing out here.” She herded them all indoors. Once coats and hats had been hung, she guided them into the parlor.

  “Where’s your father?” Susanna demanded of Matt and Logan. When they shrugged she excused herself, saying as she rounded the corner, “I’ll tell Rosita to get supper ready and set another place.”

  Nathan sat beside Emma on the overstuffed maroon couch as Molly and Claire entered.

  “Nathan!” Molly came to him. He stood and hugged her, noticing the bulge of her belly.

  “Congratulations,” he said.

  “Thank you,” she replied. “But I owe you a debt of gratitude for finding Emma.”

  “Don’t be too grateful. I lost her at the end.” His voice caught. He still wasn’t recovered from the shock of losing her.

  “I know. She told us.”

  He looked past her to Claire, surprised to see the blonde-haired woman who had fled the Ryans some months ago. “I didn’t expect to see you here,” he said to her.

  She smiled and gave him a hug.

  “She’s a Ryan now,” Logan said, “so watch yourself around her.”

  Nathan didn’t know what to say. Clearly, he’d missed a lot and would need to be caught up. Everyone settled into chairs and Nathan resumed his place beside Emma. He glanced at her and took her hand in his.

  “As soon as possible, Emma and I want to be married,” he said, cutting straight to the most important information he thought to share. Later, he would recount their journey, for those who wanted to hear.

  Susanna entered the room with Jonathan, the elder Ryan still going strong. “Another wedding?” she asked. “Did Rosita add something to the food and not tell me?”

  Everyone laughed. Nathan wasn’t sure of the joke, so instead stood and shook Jonathan’s hand.

  “It’s good to see you, son,” Jonathan said. “You gave everyone a sleepless night last night.”

  “Sorry, sir,” Nathan replied. “I didn’t know Emma was here. In fact, I thought she was gone. I thought I was returning to tell you of her death.” His gaze shifted to Molly. “I can’t say as I looked forward to it, so maybe I wasn’t hurrying back.”

  He settled beside Emma again, still in disbelief at the turn of events in the past hour. He’d expected great sorrow and pain, but instead was now surrounded by people he called friends, surrounded by the woman he loved.

  “You both need rest,” Susanna said. “You can take all the time you need. And seeing how we just had a wedding yesterday, I’m sure I could rustle up another one in no time.”

  “That would be lovely,” Emma said. “I guess Nathan and I should discuss it more first.”

  “Of course,” Susanna said.

  Nathan looked at Emma, wondering if she was having second thoughts. She smiled at him. “There are people who should be here—your ma, Aunt Catherine, Mary.”

  “You’re right.” She was, but Nathan had the feeling that waiting for all those pieces to fall into place might wear his patience thin. “But let’s not wait too long.”

  Rosita appeared. The short Mexican woman walked to Nathan and poked him in the arm. “You and the señorita are so thin.” She threw her arms up in frustration. “Why do you people not eat when you leave here? You come now, both of you. I make lots of food. You not leave table till you eat. Mucho grande.”

  Everyone laughed as Rosita pushed Nathan and Emma from the couch and toward the dining room.

  * * *

  Emma laid her head on the pillow, quite tired. They all stayed up late talking and catching up. It felt so easy being with the Ryans. She’d been very young when she’d left Texas after the death of her parents, and didn’t have strong memories of the people that her folks had associated with. Seeing her sister Molly again was a gift beyond measure, and Emma still could hardly believe she lived. She sensed a fragile healing taking place around Molly, buoyed by her relationship with Matt and the son she carried. Emma hadn’t told her yet that
she’d seen the boy to be born in the coming months. Maybe later. They had much rekindling of their sisterhood bonds ahead of them.

  Emma’s hand covered her abdomen, and she wondered about the babe within her own belly. After the flood she’d been washed downstream, how far she’d had no idea. When she awakened she was with Indians she didn’t recognize, in a covering. Later, she would come to know that she’d been asleep for days and days, and that her back had been injured. She'd been unable to move for several more days after that.

  The people caring for her were Paiutes and their lands were north of the Canyon. Communication with them was severely limited but somehow they knew who she was, or rather of some type of story associated with her. They seemed to hold her in reverence. Once she began to feel better and could sit up and begin walking again, she traveled with Sparrow on their behalf. She returned with knowledge of the location of deer for food, and urged them to move their camp due to an upcoming heavy rain.

  In a subsequent voyage, she came across Diamond. Unaware that he was dead, he tried to convince her to take one more visit to Masau’u. Diamond’s power was still as strong and dangerous as ever, casting a net around her, luring, cajoling. But she slipped away, repelling his repeated attempts with a thick shield she imagined around herself. She wished she could’ve banished him forever from preying on the peoples who lived in the area, but the best she could accomplish was to warn the Paiutes. Despite the language barrier, it was clear they knew of places filled with bad spirits, and knew to avoid them.

  But the journey also provided a blessing—she learned of her own pregnancy. Sparrow told her a great deal about the child, and that she should return to Texas as soon as possible. She’d been conflicted, thinking she should go to San Francisco to see her aunt, but Sparrow told her Nathan would be in Texas.

  She’d had no idea how she would make her way there. She had nothing but what was left of the clothing she wore. But an opportunity arrived when several of the Paiute men took her to a small outpost to the west. There, she met with a military contingent who offered to take her to Phoenix. From then on, a ride kept presenting itself until she’d traveled the entire way to the Ryan’s ranch.

  She closed her eyes and sank into the softness of the pillow and the bed. It was nice to sleep indoors again.

  A soft knock at the door preceded its opening. Nathan slipped inside. “Do you mind if I stay?” he whispered.

  She sat up in bed. “No.” She smiled, feeling a little nervous.

  He moved to the bed and sat facing her. “I don’t want to be disrespectful to the Ryans, but I’ve spent too many nights away from you.”

  “I’m glad you’re here.” She scooted over so he could lie beside her.

  He removed his shirt and scooped her into his arms. She laid her cheek on his chest and listened to his heartbeat, steady and strong.

  “Did Claire examine you, with the baby and all?” he asked, burying his hand into her hair. Claire, Logan’s new wife, had medical skills and wanted to study to become a doctor.

  “I’m fine, Nathan,” she murmured. “Sparrow showed me.”

  He was silent for a moment.

  She glanced up at him. “Does that bother you?”

  “Not anymore,” he replied. “I saw my pa. I talked to him.”

  “I’m glad.”

  “He didn’t kill himself, and my ma had lied about it for a reason.” He looked at her. “Did you have something to do with me seeing him?”

  “Not really. But I did talk with him, and urged him to try again with you.”

  “What did Sparrow show you about the baby?” he asked.

  “Do you really want to know?”

  He laughed a little. “Yeah, I do. I want to know everything, Em. I don’t want you to think you can’t ever share any of this with me. I don’t claim to completely understand it, but I accept that you see things I never will.”

  She pushed herself to sit beside him, and leaned against the headboard of the bed. “Well, then, you’ll be pleased to know the baby is a fine young boy, with your looks and build. He’s thoughtful and mechanical, in what ways I’m not exactly sure, but he’ll be busy as a child, building things.” She paused to savor the excitement of sharing what she knew about their son. “He’ll be along next June. We’ll call him Lucas.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Lucas, huh?”

  “Isn’t that your middle name?”

  “How’d you know that? Magic?”

  She smiled. “No, something far simpler. Matt told me.”

  Nathan kissed her, slowly and sweetly. “I’d like us to be married soon. If we can get your aunt and my ma to come out, would you marry me here?”

  “Yes.” She closed her eyes and savored the pleasure of his physical presence.

  He kissed her again, more deeply. Emma matched his need and yielded completely when he made love to her; the first time desperate and quick, the second time longer, lingering. Later, when she slept, Nathan appeared in her dreams.

  There was no need to travel alone anymore.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  For three weeks Emma stayed with the Ryans while Mrs. Ryan graciously, and most insistently, planned a wedding for her and Nathan. Nathan remained at the house as well, nightly sneaking into Emma’s room. If the Ryans knew, they kept quiet and it was just as well—Emma needed to be near him as much as she needed to breathe.

  The time gave her the opportunity to rest and eat regularly. Rosita, the Ryan’s cook, took it upon herself to make certain Emma didn’t skimp on meals. To be honest, she was glad for the care. It had been a long four months since she’d left San Francisco to begin her journey, and now that it was over, she was tired. She’d had no visits from Sparrow, or Una, or Riddle for that matter. Perhaps they knew she needed to recuperate.

  Her days were spent with Molly, although her sister and Matt didn’t stay at the main house. Instead, they were building a home of their own about three miles away—a spread soon to be called the Rocking Wren. Emma had caught up on her sister’s life, and they’d spoken about everything that had occurred in the past ten years. It was a bittersweet reunion as they mourned the loss of their folks for the first time together, as if it had happened yesterday.

  Emma tentatively shared with Molly her visions of their ma, and was relieved when her sister showed a willingness to understand the path that Emma now walked. They both took comfort in the knowledge that death wasn’t the end, and that forgiveness and healing could still take place even after leaving the physical body.

  They also spent time with Claire. She and Logan had been married a second time. Claire was also with child—a daughter—but Emma didn’t say anything. Only if asked would she share her knowledge of things practical, and sometimes not so practical.

  Claire spoke of her desire to attend a medical college for women, likely after she gave birth. Emma was impressed with Claire’s courage and with Logan’s desire to support her in this endeavor. Claire’s younger brother Jimmy was also with them, an adorable blonde-haired eight year old. It appeared that Claire and Logan would raise Jimmy, since there was no one else to take him. His ma—Claire’s ma—had passed recently. Emma saw no sign of the woman’s spirit around them and had a strong feeling that she had moved on. Claire and Jimmy were in good hands with Logan. His love for them resonated every time Emma saw all three of them together.

  Matt’s energy was more quiet and not so easily read, reminding Emma of Nathan the first time she’d met him, so long ago on the dory at the start of her journey down the Colorado River. That he and Nathan were friends was obvious to Emma, but not so much on appearances. They were circumspect about their history but Emma sensed much between them, a bond that had been forged over the course of years, balanced by respect and trust in the face of danger and violence.

  And then there was Nathan. He filled her senses with everything that comprised him, his body, his heart, his mind, and his soul. She cherished him, and hoped she could give him a good life, hardly bel
ieving that he’d given his heart to her. She prayed she would be worthy of it. She loved him, desperately and completely.

  He would often spend the mornings out riding the ranch, helping with stock and basic chores. He also spent time at the Rocking Wren, helping Matt complete work inside the house. The structure was complete, which was good as the weather was quite cold at night now, but interior work was still needed. In the evenings he returned to dine with her, Jonathan and Susanna, Logan and Claire, and Jimmy. Sometimes Matt and Molly stayed as well. They would all visit in the parlor in front of a roaring fire then retire to bed. And later, Nathan would come to her, make love to her, share his thoughts and history with her, tease her, and speak of the future with her.

  Word was sent to Aunt Catherine in San Francisco, her sister Mary and her family in Arizona Territory, Nathan’s sister in California, and his ma in St. Louis about their upcoming nuptials. Mary and Nathan’s sister had recently given birth, so sent well-wishes and regrets that they couldn’t attend.

  In Mary’s letter she spoke of Cale Walker’s visit to her homestead, and his efforts to help her friend Tess Carlisle find her estranged father. Cale had grown up in Texas near Emma and Molly, and due to her ma’s indiscretion with Cale’s pa, Cale and his brothers were half-siblings to Molly. Emma didn’t have a strong memory of Cale before she’d left Texas when she was eight years old—he’d been much older than she—but upon reading Mary’s letter a flash of insight had come to her. Cale had unique abilities that he learned from the Apache, and she saw a picture of a buggy axle connecting two wheels. In this world, Cale was a “connector.” Uncertain what that meant, she filed the image away, hoping one day she might meet him again to understand it better.