Olivia

by Donna Sturgeon

  She sat on the edge of his bed in dejection. Damn it, she wanted some pie! She was going to have to press her luck and hope she could open the refrigerator door slow enough to try and minimize the sucky.

  As she headed for the door, her bare toe slammed into something sticking out from under the bed. She hopped and cursed under her breath and lay back on the bed with her hand squeezing her baby piggy toe until it quit throbbing. When it did, with curiosity piqued, she pulled the box out from under the bed and snuck back down the hall with it to Allie’s room, and closed the door.

  The bedside lamp was only a nightlight, but it was bright enough for what she needed it for. She flipped open the box, expecting to see what every man hid under his bed from the time he was thirteen—porn. But what was in it instead surprised her. The box was full of family photos, specifically those of his ex-wife. Olivia grabbed a handful and started flipping through them.

  Apparently, they had known each other for a very long time. There were pictures of a little Clete and his sweetheart at football games and school formals and family get-togethers. They were geeky together and grew up together and apparently had eyes only for each other all through their teenage years. They went to college together. They got married, had a baby and started careers.

  At about the same time Allie started appearing in the pictures, so did another person. He also wore the uniform she had seen Clete in almost every day, and they appeared to be partners. Maybe more than just work partners, because most of the pictures were taken at Clete and his wife’s house.

  One in particular caught Olivia’s eye. It had been taken in a backyard in the summertime, the picture so sharp and clear Olivia could almost smell the steaks grilling. There was a pink wading pool in the background, and a very young Allie wearing a yellow swimsuit splashed around in it. Clete’s wife and another woman were sitting in lawn chairs, looking up at Clete and his fellow officer as they posed for the picture. They were in swim trunks and bare-chested, and each had an arm around the other’s shoulders in a half-hug, holding each other closer than two half-naked men should be holding on.

  She had all the proof she needed right there in her hands… Clete had left his wife to be with another man. That’s why they got divorced. Suspicion confirmed. Officer Cletus Wade was gay. Great news for George, but crap-ass news for her. Shit.

  Suddenly feeling guilty over what she had discovered, Olivia shoved the evidence back into the box and closed the lid, rushing to return it to Clete’s room before he woke up. When she turned toward the door, Clete was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest and his face set in angry stone.

  “I… uh…” she stammered.

  “Put that back where you found it,” Clete commanded in a low tone that made Olivia jump to meet his demands.

  She ducked past him and into his room, shoved the box back under the bed, and hurried back to Allie’s room, with her hand protecting her bottom in case he had the urge to spank her.

  “I’m sorry, Clete,” she said in a rush and tried to push the door closed.

  He blocked it and came into the room. “If you were sorry, you wouldn’t have done it in the first place.”

  “I know—I’m sorry.”

  “Good night, Olivia.” It wasn’t a pleasantry. It was an instruction.

  She jumped into bed and pulled the covers up to her chin and tried really, really hard not to, but she had to know with a hundred-percent certainty, hear it straight from the source as Clete had advised her to always do so long ago, so as he was closing the door she blurted out, “Is that man in the pictures the reason you and your wife got divorced?”

  “Yes,” he said through clinched teeth, and pulled the door closed.

  Olivia curled onto her side and looked out the window. So now she had hard evidence that Clete was gay, and she’d heard it straight from the horse’s mouth. Clete had loved a woman and lived a life as a heterosexual until destiny stepped in and introduced him to the true self he was always supposed to be. He had loved another man enough to throw away his marriage and his entire life… so why were they no longer together?

  Did Clete fear living his life in the open like George did? Was it his parents he was afraid to reveal himself to, or was it Allie? Surely not. Allie was a cool kid. Olivia had no doubt she would be accepting and proud of Clete no matter who he was. But what about all the other closed-minded kids in her school? Would they bully Allie simply because of who her father was?

  Olivia already knew the answer to that one. It was a big, fat, “Yes!”

  Kids were cruel. They were mean and vindictive and liked to torment the people who were different from them. And they learned that behavior from their parents. Olivia had witnessed it with Eugene. When she was a kid, she had always thought she would have had more friends and been more popular if she’d had any other father besides Eugene. Izzie was the only person who had never judged him before she met him. Izzie’s mom had been a bitch about Eugene for a very long time, but Izzie had always loved him as much as Olivia did. Maybe even more so.

  Despite the late hour, Olivia picked up her cell phone and dialed Izzie’s number. She waited through seven rings, but Izzie didn’t pick up. She was probably sound asleep.

  Instead of leaving a voice message, Olivia texted, “Im sry.” She set the phone back on the nightstand and ten minutes later it chirped with Izzie’s text back, “Luv u.”

  “Luv u 2,” Olivia replied in text.

  Her phone rang seconds later. She answered, and Izzie started crying in her ear.

  “What’s going on with you, Iz?” Olivia asked.

  “I don’t know,” Izzie said with a mournful sniff. “I messed up big time, didn’t I?”

  “Yeah, kinda,” Olivia admitted. The truth hurt sometimes, and Olivia wouldn’t be doing Izzie any favors by lying to her. “Are you in love with Sam?”

  “God, no! It just… kinda happened. I don’t know… What do I do?”

  “Stop sleeping with Sam,” Olivia said.

  “I didn’t sleep with him. We… I don’t know… We kissed a little… and stuff… but that’s it,” Izzie stuttered out, and then fell silent.

  “Have you talked to John since he moved out?”

  “No. I was waiting for him to talk to me first.”

  “You’re the one who needs to make the first move.”

  “I know,” she admitted.

  “He loves you so much.”

  Izzie started to cry again. “How do I tell him what I did?”

  “Be honest and tell him everything. Not just what you did, but also how you feel deep down in your heart. He deserves to know everything that’s been going on with you.”

  Izzie sniffed. “Yeah.”

  “You want me to go with you?” Olivia offered. “We could do it together.”

  “No,” Izzie decided after a long pause. “This is something I need to do on my own. But would you be here when I get home?”

  “I don’t think I can. I’m being held prisoner at Clete’s house,” Olivia said.

  “What?”

  “George is in Omaha and he didn’t want to leave me alone because of Mitch… I think. Hell, I don’t know. He never really explained it… But anyway, I’m at Clete’s house and he won’t let me go anywhere. He even got pissed when I went jogging,” Olivia said.

  Izzie laughed so hard she started to cough. “You went jogging?”

  “Yep.”

  “How was it?”

  “It sucked… You know, I may not be allowed to leave, but I’m sure you could come over here. Hang on, I’ll go ask him.” Olivia hopped off the bed and cracked open the bedroom door. “Clete!”

  “What?” It wasn’t a nice ‘what.’

  “Can Izzie come over tomorrow?” Olivia asked.

  Long pause. Heavy sigh. “Fine.”

  “Can she stay the night?”

  Another pause. Another sigh. And a bit of a grumble. “We’ll see.”

  Olivia closed the door and skippe
d over to the mirror, watching her reflection as she spun a few pirouettes. “He said you can come over, and maybe you can stay the night! He said, ‘We’ll see,’ but I’ll bet that means yes.”

  “Um… Liv?”

  Olivia spun around again. “Yeah?”

  “What the heck are you and Clete…? Never mind.” Izzie laughed. “I love you, Sweetie.”

  “Love you, too. Can’t wait ‘til tomorrow!” Olivia stopped spinning and grinned. “Bye!”

  “Bye,” Izzie said, still laughing.

  Olivia tossed the phone onto the nightstand and flopped back onto Allie’s bed, super excited that she and her BFF were BFF’s again. Nick Jonas smiled down at her and she smiled back up at him. He sure was a cutie. She closed her eyes and fell asleep, dreaming of a simple life full of bubble gum and cotton candy, and Nick Jonas giving her a peck on the cheek.

  * * *

  The next morning, Clete fed her oatmeal with raisins in it and a grapefruit for breakfast. It was gross, but she choked it all down and asked for pie. He said no, which pissed Olivia off, but she kept her mouth shut. She didn’t want to give him any reason not to let Izzie come over. With that in mind, she made her bed and took a shower, and even brushed her teeth without Clete having to tell her to do so, proving Olivia could be on her best behavior if the prize at the end of the day was big enough.

  The rest of the morning crawled by and Olivia kept looking at the clock, anxious for Izzie to show up. She was bored and had nothing to do, so she followed Clete around and asked him what he was doing and why he was doing it, and the heck was up with Pluto not being a planet anymore, and who did he think first looked at a sheep and thought to himself, Eureka! I think I’ll shave that thing’s nasty-ass, matted fur off and knit me a sweater out of it!, and whatever other pointless question happened to pop into her head in the moment, until finally he cried for mercy and sat her on the sofa with a Popsicle and turned on Judge Judy to distract her. She would’ve rather had a piece of pie, but the Popsicle was good, so she ate it.

  By lunchtime Izzie still hadn’t come over, so Clete cooked for just the two of them. He set vegetable soup and a grilled cheese sandwich in front of her and he had the leftover chicken and kale. Again she ate all of her food, and again she asked for a piece of pie, but yet again he told her no and handed her a pudding cup instead. She frowned, but kept her snarky comments to herself and ate it. She headed back for the sofa and the television, but Clete made her go outside for some fresh air, and to get her out of his hair.

  She played fetch with Juicy Fruit and tight-rope-walked the different colors of the patio bricks and snooped around in his storage shed. She found Allie’s box of sidewalk chalk and spent the rest of the afternoon smoking and drawing a gigantic picture of her and Juicy Fruit playing in a meadow full of mutantly-large flowers and itty-bitty trees. At around three, Clete called out to her that Izzie was there and she jumped up and ran inside and flew into her friend’s arms.

  They hugged and laughed and linked arms and Olivia took her down the hall to show off Allie’s room, closing the door behind them to keep Clete away. Izzie ooh’ed and aah’ed over Nick Jonas and the doll Olivia had decided was her favorite, and then they sat Indian-style, knee-to-knee on the bed and Izzie filled Olivia in on her conversation with John.

  “He’s pissed, but he thinks he can forgive me,” Izzie concluded. “And we have a date tomorrow night. He wants to forget all the crazy stuff and start all over again—from the very beginning.”

  “Is he moving back in?”

  “No,” Izzie said with a shake of her head. “He’s going to stay with his brother and Mel’s going to stay with me until Carl Jr. gets out of jail. He’s up for parole again in January, so until then John and I are going to ‘date’ and get to know each other again and decide where to go from there.”

  “Do you still love him?” Olivia asked.

  “With all my heart and soul,” Izzie said with the love she felt for John shining bright in her eyes. “I’ll never love another man. He’s my guy, you know?”

  “Yeah,” Olivia said with a smile even though her heart hurt with jealousy. George was her guy. She just wasn’t capable of being his.

  “So, what do you want to do?” Izzie asked as she looked around the room.

  “I don’t know.” Olivia shrugged then grabbed a pillow and whacked Izzie upside the head with it.

  Izzie laughed and scrambled for the other pillow. Olivia screamed in laugher as they both jumped to their feet on top of the bed. They laughed and jumped and beat each other senseless, and broke a lamp. Clete came running into the room, hollering at them to turn down the racket, and Olivia whacked him with the pillow. He stopped dead in his tracks and stood stock-still, stunned.

  “Oops,” Olivia said with a grimace of remorse.

  Izzie tried to swallow her laughter but failed miserably. The noise came out in snorts through her nose, which made Olivia giggle and Clete turn purple. As soon as Clete turned on his heel and slammed the door behind him, Olivia and Izzie collapsed on the bed in laughter.

  When she finally caught her breath, Izzie turned to Olivia and said, “I’ve missed you, Liv.”

  “I’ve missed you, too, Iz.” Olivia’s lungs burned and her sides ached from laughing so hard and she wrapped Izzie in a bear hug.

  The girls chatted and played with Allie’s dolls, painted their toenails and listened to Miley Cyrus on the CD player, blissfully ignoring the stress and exhaustion of their adult lives and hanging out the way they used to, once-upon-a-time, until Clete called them for dinner. Olivia expected pizza since they were having a sleepover, but Clete—ever the party-pooper—served pot roast with boiled potatoes and carrots instead.

  Olivia choked down every bite, even the nasty-ass cooked carrots, then held her empty plate out to Clete and said, “Pie me, baby!”

  Clete bit back a smile and asked, “What do you say when you want something?”

  “Pa-leeeease!” Olivia batted her eyelashes at him.

  He smiled for real and patted her head and rewarded her with a big slice of pie and a mountain of Cool Whip. He gave one to Izzie too, even though she didn’t eat her carrots. But she didn’t have to. She was their guest, after all.

  Clete did the dishes while the girls popped popcorn and watched Finding Nemo, and then Clete sent them to bed at eleven. They stayed up giggling and gossiping in whispers until Clete gave them a warning to quiet down and get to sleep. Izzie fell asleep in Allie’s SpongeBob sleeping bag, and Olivia picked up her cell phone from the nightstand and snuck down the hall to the bathroom to call George.

  She could feel his teasing smile through the phone when he asked, “Were you a good girl today?”

  “Yes.” Olivia smiled back to him. “Very good. I got pie.”

  “Congratulations,” George said. “Was it worth it?”

  “Most definitely.” Olivia settled into the empty tub and closed the shower doors so she could feel closer to George. “How was your day?”

  “Long, boring, kinda shitty,” George said with a sigh.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Tomorrow’ll be better, I hope. The judge is supposed to make his decision in the morning.”

  “Are you winning?” Olivia asked.

  “I honestly don’t know.”

  “You want me to come down and be your character witness? I could tell the judge how nice you are, and how smart you are, and how cool you are, and how totally awesome in the sack you are,” Olivia offered.

  George laughed but declined.

  “Will you promise me something?” Olivia asked.

  “Maybe. Depends on what you ask for.”

  “If you win Kitty’s tomorrow, can we have one more weekend together as a couple before you move on to your destiny?”

  “My destiny?” George asked in confusion.

  “Our deal was we would only be together until Kitty’s was yours, and you’re about to win her, but I need to be able to say goodbye to you. I can’t let
you go without making love to you one last time.” She said it quietly because she didn’t want Clete to overhear, but also because she was trying really hard not to cry and it helped to whisper. “I want it to be special.”

  “Oh, Liv,” George said, his voice heavy with emotion. “I’m not ready to say goodbye to you yet.”

  “You’re not?” she asked. “But you and Cl—”

  “Don’t worry about me or us or the future right now. We’ll figure that all out when the time is right. Try to have some fun with Clete while I’m gone and get to know him a little bit better and let me do all the worrying about what might or might not happen in the future. And know that when I come home to you, you and I are going to spend the next few days making up for lost time.”

  “But…”

  “Olivia, I love you and I can’t see myself doing anything else but loving you for a very long time. Owning Kitty’s isn’t going to change that fact. You are my whole world right now. Don’t you understand that?”

  “But you’re gay, George.”

  “I know.” He sighed a heavy sigh that pressed on her heart. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” She lost the battle with the tears. “What does this mean?”

  “I don’t know, Baby Girl. I honestly don’t know.”

  * * *

  The next morning, Clete woke up in the proper sleepover mode and joined in the game by making pancakes shaped like Mickey Mouse for the girls’ breakfast. Izzie soaked hers in syrup and dug right on in, but Olivia only pushed hers around her plate. Clete worried when she didn’t eat, so she lied and said she had a tummy ache, which wasn’t too far from the truth.

  She had stayed up most of the night, tossing and turning, battling with her heart, trying to keep from giving herself false hope that she and George could be together forever. That hope left her feeling guilty with the knowledge that if they were together forever she would be the one to keep Clete and George apart. Clete was a man with a broken heart. He needed someone as wonderful as George to come in and sweep him off his feet, and as long as she was selfish and kept George under her spell, Clete would be left all alone. She hated knowing the love she was keeping him from, but she didn’t know if she was strong enough to volunteer to be the broken-hearted one.