Like Gold Refined

by Janette Oke

  Again Virginia felt her emotions threaten to overwhelm her. But it would not do to greet her grandmother with tears running down her cheeks. It seemed such a short time ago that her grandparents had walked tall and straight. Virginia had innocently assumed during her own growing-up years that it would always be so. She found her heart resisting the changes that her mind now told her were inevitable.

  Virginia held the door while Mr. Simcoe eased the small woman into the warmth of the kitchen and placed another chair.

  “Mama and Papa should be here momentarily,” she said as she kissed her grandmother’s cheek. “Clara’ll have to wait for Troy to get home from work, but she said he’d leave a bit early today.”

  “Is Francine coming?” Marty was running a hand over her Sunday dress, smoothing out the skirt with a thin, blue-veined hand.

  “Yes … a little later. Dalton couldn’t get away early. They said to save them some birthday cake.”

  Her grandfather chuckled and reached for her grandmoth? er’s hand. “One thing old age has done for us, Ma. We never need worry about work keeping us from fun.”

  She laughed gaily. “We don’t worry none ’bout work at all.”

  They seemed to think they had a private joke on the rest of the world.

  “Where’s your oldest?” asked Clark suddenly.

  “She’s upstairs changing into her new dress.”

  “A new dress? Did you sew it?” wondered Marty.

  “No … Grandma Belinda did.” Virginia did not explain that she and her mother had discussed it and wanted Mindy to have something nice for her trip to the city. “She needed a special dress and I didn’t have the time.”

  She heard another car engine. She looked out to see a green Ford pull in beside the other cars in the yard. “Here’s Mr. Woods,” she commented, surprised. “I wasn’t sure he’d come—”

  “He busy with something special?”

  “No, I … ” Virginia fumbled. She had not meant to express her thoughts aloud. “I just wasn’t sure he’d … ”

  She let the sentence drop. Her grandparents did not seem to notice.

  It was a lively party. Virginia found herself fully absorbed with caring for her guests. Her hostess duties helped keep the impending separation from dampening the spirit of the occasion, though her eyes rarely left Mindy’s face. She was so proud of her. She was growing into such a fine young lady. She knew Jonathan shared her feelings. The young girl seemed most mature for her age. Settled and confident. One would never have known she had experienced such a troubled beginning. God had been good—to her, to them.

  Virginia and Jonathan had told each other that this party was to be a grand celebration. A memory for Mindy to take with her. A memory for them. They would wait until the celebration had settled until they discussed further her plans for the future. So they were totally unprepared when Mindy took matters into her own hands.

  After the opening of Jamie’s gifts—with much help from Olivia and Martha—Mindy rose and took a deep breath. “This is my last family birthday party … at least for a while,” she said, and her voice was remarkably controlled. “I have decided to go and live with Mama Jenny. She is very sick … and she wants me.” Virginia felt the shock waves go around the circle, but she dared not look up. She was fighting for her own control. She felt Jonathan reach over and take hold of her hand. She squeezed hard, willing herself to accept his strength.

  “I have been praying for Mama Jenny for a long time,” Mindy continued, “and maybe this is God’s way of answering my prayers. She needs to learn about asking to have her sins forgiven. She hasn’t done that yet.”

  Virginia could not control the tears then. They ran freely down her cheeks, and no amount of blinking would stop the flow.

  “Papa and Mama are going to take me there—maybe on the train if the roads are bad,” she added in a matter-of-fact tone.

  There was a stirring. Mr. Woods had risen to his feet and crossed to pull Mindy close. She seemed puzzled by the deep emotion of her grandfather but hugged him back in return. Virginia saw the open tears of the man. No doubt his deep feelings included both daughter and granddaughter.

  The entire assembly seemed to be weeping. The young ones looked from one to another, bewilderment in their little faces.

  We must stop this, thought Virginia. They are much too young to understand. We’ll have them all fearful. …

  Jonathan’s voice was a bit unsteady, but he cleared his throat and said, “I guess we all know why this is such an important birthday party. Our daughter Mindy has … has given this much thought … and prayer. As we also have. She … she knows this will not be easy—for any of us—but … ” His voice shook noticeably, and he paused for control. “We are proud of her. She … she is going to … ” He waited another moment. “She has asked to go … and we have agreed. She may leave us, but she will always be here—in our hearts.” He stopped to blow his nose. “Now … I think it’s time for birthday cake.”

  The little ones came back to life at the familiar sound of birthday cake. A cheer went up, and soon the adults were wiping away tears and attempting to resurrect smiles. Some still appeared dazed as though they could not understand or believe what they had just heard. Losing their Mindy seemed beyond belief, but if this was what she really wanted, and if Jonathan and Virginia had approved it, they would reluctantly let her go with their blessing.

  Jonathan gazed soberly at Virginia. “This decision has to be one of the most difficult and important we’ve ever made,” he said.

  Even though the decision to allow Mindy to go had been made, they felt they should have further information regarding the legal implications. The next day Slate said he would be happy to keep an eye on the children, so Jonathan and Virginia went into town for the noon meal with Drew and Belinda.

  After the homemade beef stew and corn bread, Jonathan explained what they had been thinking about and why. When he was finished, no one spoke for a time, but Belinda reached across the table for Virginia’s hand. Drew rested his chin on his hand as he stared reflectively out the window.

  “From my knowledge of the legal world,” he began, “custody issues are some of the most difficult and complex the court faces. Usually there are no simple solutions, not even a clear ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ in terms of a legal ruling.” Drew stood and began pacing about the room. “As you well know by now,” he continued, “there are no guarantees in a court battle. As an attorney speaking to the facts of this case, I clearly see the rights of the couple who has functioned as the child’s parents for the majority of her life.”

  Drew paused and looked at the two for a moment. Virginia was listening intently to every word, every nuance, as she knew Jonathan was doing.

  “ Then there are the rights of the mother to whom the child was born. Without documentation to the contrary, she can simply make the case that she has changed her mind and wants her child back.” Drew returned to the table and sat down again. “The rights of the child are a significant third part to a court’s considerations. What is in her best interests—for the present, for the future?”

  Drew leaned forward across the table. “Speaking as one who has been Mindy’s grandfather for a while, I want to see her remain in the family circle where she is known and loved, where she has been nurtured to become the winsome and surprisingly mature child that she is.” In spite of the solemn circumstances, he smiled as only a proud grandfather could.

  Virginia could feel the gentle pressure of her mother’s hand on her own, and she blinked against the tears her parents’ warmth and concern evoked.

  “But I also know that a court ‘fight to the finish’ could be devastating,” Drew added, his tone very serious. “Devastating to Mindy, to you and, yes, to the mother. Jenny could—out of spite—jeopardize Mindy’s future by ensuring that you would never see her again.”

  At the involuntary shudder that passed through her body, Jonathan covered Virginia’s other hand with his own. They looked at each ot
her, understanding without having to say it that Drew’s intent was not to frighten them but to help them think carefully through the various paths before them.

  “It seems to me,” Belinda now put in, “that Mindy’s desire to go to Jenny—coming ‘out of the blue’ with no prompting—is an important piece here. If you were to say no to this, and if … and if Jenny were to die without coming to faith. … ” She did not finish the thought, but they both could see the very negative implications of such a decision.

  “As a Christian,” Drew now said, “I believe the issue your mother just mentioned may be the most important at the moment. If the Lord has put this desire in Mindy’s heart, fulfilling your little ‘test agreement’ with Him”—he turned to Jonathan—“a higher court has jurisdiction in this case.” He leaned back in his chair with a faint smile.

  Virginia’s smile in return was a bit shaky, but she could feel a measure of peace—a rightness—stealing over her spirit as the four joined hands around the table to pray again for God’s clear direction—to them and, yes, to Mindy—and that Jenny would turn to Him.

  CHAPTER 16

  Jonathan arranged with their lawyer to contact Jenny’s lawyer and tell him of the change of plans. They asked when it would be convenient for them to arrive with Mindy. His answer came back, terse and official. They were informed simply that “Miss Woods”—Jenny had taken back her maiden name—would receive “her daughter” on Saturday next, delivered to his office. Apparently Jenny still did not want them to have her home address.

  There was no turning back now. Virginia had to face the wrenching truth that they would soon be losing their oldest child—for how long, she couldn’t even let herself consider. If only she could hold on to the faith she had during that time of prayer with her parents.

  Unable to sleep, she was sure she must be disturbing Jona? than, and she rose from their bed. Pulling her flannel wrap closely about her shoulders, she crossed the hall to the children’s room.

  Mindy was sleeping soundly, her childish face angelic in the light of the winter moon that streamed light through the lace of the window curtain. Feeling emotion tighten her throat, Virginia hastened from the room before her sobs would disturb the sleeping children.

  She went down to the living room and huddled on the hearth. Floods of bitterness and anger swept over her. Why, God? Why? she cried silently. Why did you let her come to us if you knew we wouldn’t be able to keep her? It isn’t fair. We love her like she is our own—and now you are letting her be taken from us. It isn’t fair. What has Jenny ever done to deserve her back? She gave her away. She has not even kept in touch. What does she care for the child? She is just being vindictive. Mean and selfish. She only wants Mindy because it will hurt us. She wants us to pay for her pain.

  Virginia spent long minutes crying out her distress. For all her discussions with Jonathan and her words of agreement with the decision, she felt God had deserted them in this hour of crisis.

  Spent and cold from the chill of the room, at last she slowly pulled herself to her feet and stirred up the fire. She threw on another log and watched the blaze catch. Why? Why? echoed continuously in her mind.

  Suddenly a voice within seemed to say, Why? Think about it. Virginia shook her head to clear it of the strange impression. But it persisted.

  Mindy came as a frightened, suffering child, the gentle voice continued. Had she not come to your home, where would she be now? What if Jenny had not given her to you and Jonathan? Would there have been much chance that she would develop into a whole, lovely, and competent human being who loves me?

  Virginia sank back onto the rug before the hearth, her mind and body still as she listened.

  Should perhaps Mindy never have been born? the voice seemed to ask.

  That idea was unthinkable. Mindy was a special person with so much to offer. She had already brought incredible joy to their home with her unselfish ways, her nurturing attitude toward the younger children. Her fervent prayers often put the faith of adults to shame. A world without Mindy would be a poorer world for them all.

  Then maybe she should have gone to some other home.

  No! Virginia could not bear to think of that. They had been blessed by Mindy. She fit perfectly into their home—into their hearts. So Mindy needed us—we needed her, Virginia’s inner discussion continued. Yes, that was absolutely true.

  So why are you agitating? came the still, small voice once again.

  Because I don’t want to give her up, replied Virginia honestly in a fresh burst of tears. I don’t want to see her go off all alone. I love her. I want to care for her as I’ve always done.

  And I love her. She will not be alone.

  It was then that the ultimate truth captured Virginia’s heart. Mindy would not be alone. Not ever. No matter how far she went from them—she would never be alone.

  Trust me, continued the silent voice.

  “Trust,” echoed Virginia’s heart. That is what I need to do. That is what I haven’t been doing, Lord. I haven’t been trusting you.

  A fresh stream of tears poured down Virginia’s cheeks. What had been happening to her over the past weeks and months? Why hadn’t she seen it before? She had been failing to trust God. God had not changed. Only their circumstances.

  God, you are right—and I have been so wrong, admitted virginia. Help me to realize I cannot hang on to Mindy—or to any of our children. Mindy is your child—not mine. Help me to give her completely to you. Help me to let her go. To trust.

  The fresh tears were not ones of bitterness but tears of repentance—of acceptance. As they poured down her face, a sweet sense of peace came over her. She knew without question that there would be many days of loneliness ahead. That she would miss Mindy with an ache that would not go away. But she would also be able to thank God for the gift of the wonderful years they’d had together. The many memories that they had built. She would know with certainty that Mindy was not alone. That God walked with her—wherever she was. That God would continue to lead her and direct her ways just as He had promised. Virginia’s heart reached out and received His gift of assurance—whether or not He saw fit to bring her back to their home. God’s hand had brought her to them in the first place. That same hand was leading her back to Jenny right now, and Mindy’s future was in the care and keeping of their trustworthy Father, who loved them all.

  After a tearful good-bye to the three younger children and her grandparents, Mindy climbed the steep steps of the train and settled herself on the worn wine cushions, Virginia and Jonathan on either side.

  “I might never come back here again,” she said, her voice trembling as she looked out the window.

  Virginia felt like crying along with her, but she said instead, “But you might. Maybe sooner than we think. Your mama Jenny might bring you.”

  Mindy shook her head. “I don’t think she will.”

  Virginia placed an arm around Mindy’s shoulders and drew her close. “If you don’t come back here, we’ll come see you sometime.”

  “Will you bring my sisters and brother?” Her voice trembled again.

  “Yes. You can be sure we’ll bring the little ones along with us.”

  “Martha will miss me. She won’t like walking to school all alone. She likes to hold my hand.”

  “I know, but we’ll make sure she gets there okay.” Silence.

  “Olivia likes to hear stories. Martha can’t read well enough yet. Can you read to her, Mama?”

  “I’ll read to her.”

  Mindy broke the next silence with a soft chuckle. “James is so funny. He tries to do everything we do. He even tries to wrap up the baby dolls like we do. He thinks he’s a girl.”

  “He’ll find out soon enough that he’s a boy,” Jonathan assured her. “His papa will see to that. Do you think he’s about old enough to go fishing?”

  “I would like to go fishing,” Mindy announced.

  The two adults looked at each other in surprise over her head, then Jonathan n
odded. “We’ll do that,” he said.

  Mindy was silent again, but her thoughts obviously were not. “Buttercup will miss me,” she said very softly.

  “We’ll take good care of Buttercup.”

  “She needs exercise.”

  “She’ll get lots of exercise. Slate and I will make sure of that.”

  After another silence, Virginia assumed that Mindy was still deep in thought until Jonathan spoke. “I think she’s worn out. She’s sound asleep.”

  Virginia eased the child into a more comfortable position. She and Jonathan exchanged glances, both sets of eyes shining with unshed tears.

  Virginia’s fingers toyed with the soft curls that wisped about the child’s cheek. It was a joy to hold her. Just hold her. Silently and lovingly. Just to let the love she felt flow through to the child in her arms, without the bitterness. Without the turmoil. To thank God for the sweetness He had brought into their lives when He placed Mindy in their care. They had been blessed. So very blessed.

  The three stayed overnight in one of the nicer hotels in the city. Virginia wondered if it was an extravagance they could afford, but Jonathan had made the point that their last night with Mindy should be special. They even had their evening meal in the lovely dining room. Mindy looked awestruck as she gazed about her at the white linen and shining silver.

  “Ooh,” she said at one point. “Did you know they had things like this, Mama?”

  Virginia smiled. Perhaps Jonathan had been right.

  After dinner they walked the frosty, well-lit streets, peering in shop windows and pretending they were shoppers with unlimited resources. It was a game that Mindy loved. “Look at that,” she’d squeal. “Martha would love it. I’d get that for Martha. And that. She’d like that, too. And look at the doll. The one with its eyes closed. Olivia would like that. And that wagon. For James. Is he big enough yet to pull that, Papa?” At last, shivering but cheerful, they headed back to the hotel. Mindy had a nice hot bath in a big glistening tub and then climbed in between the stiff, white sheets.