by J. H. Croix
I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “How much are you talking to Ethan about this? Because it's kind of embarrassing.”
“Not a lot. He doesn't know you're all out of whack about it. I just told him I thought Finn liked you, and I wanted to make sure he's a good guy. That's all.”
I leaned my head back, staring at the ceiling. “Okay, okay. It’s not a guy thing.”
“I know. He thinks I’m being the overprotective friend. Which I am,” she said with a little laugh. “This doesn't have to be any bigger than it is. You finally met a guy who’s hot, you actually like him, and he actually likes you. That's it. That's all that's happening. You don't have to make it more than it is, but maybe try to relax.”
I absorbed her words. What she said made perfect sense. I didn’t need to make this more than it was, so why was I such a mess inside?
I caught her eyes, the understanding there grounding me and nudging me out of the mental circles I was running inside my mind. I laughed, taking another deep breath and letting it out slowly. “Fine. I'll try to relax.”
She stepped closer to me and slipped her arm around my shoulders, giving me a squeeze. At that moment, a pair of women entered the restroom. They looked in our direction, one of them smiling as soon as she saw us.
“Girl talk?” she asked.
Zoe and I nodded in unison.
“Perfect. That’s why we're here,” she replied.
They laughed with us.
“Shall we share? Maybe group advice is better,” the other woman said.
“Well, what's your problem of the evening?” I asked, happy to have the focus off of myself for a moment.
One of the two, a woman with curly blond hair and wide brown eyes, spoke, gesturing to her friend. “She just found out the guy she's been dating has a different definition of exclusive than she does.”
The other woman with brown hair and blue eyes sighed. “Yeah, so he’s an asshole, and I’m an idiot.”
Zoe and I looked at each other and back to them. “Better to find out now rather than later,” I offered tentatively, my heart going out to her. Having had a variation on her experience, I knew how it felt to stumble into being the idiot. It sucked.
“Exactly what I said,” the blonde haired woman said with a vigorous nod.
“What's your issue?” the brown haired woman asked.
Zoe thumbed in my direction. “Well, her last relationship was a fiasco because he definitely had a different definition of exclusive. I'm trying to tell her the guy she's with tonight is a really nice guy, and she should try to relax and give him a shot.”
The women both looked at me. “Well, what do you have to go on?” one of them asked.
“My opinion, my husband's opinion and hers too. He's totally a decent guy. She’s just freaked out,” Zoe replied.
The women looked to me expectantly, the brown haired one speaking. “Even you think he’s nice?”
I nodded. “Yes, I’m just…”
She cut in. “And you like him?”
“Yes, but…”
“Girl, don’t be stupid. Unless you want to be alone, you gotta give someone a chance.”
Moments later, we left the ladies room after I received my pep talk. When we returned to the table, Ethan glanced up, arching a brow. He looked to his watch and then back to us. “That was a bloody long bathroom break.”
Zoe rolled her eyes and flashed a grin. “We ran into some friends,” she offered.
Finn’s eyes caught mine. The heat banked in his gaze nearly melted me and completely wiped out any efforts I’d made to cool the fire burning inside of me. When I sat down, I had to squeeze my thighs together to quell the sweet ache there.
He's a nice guy. Don't freak out about that.
Most of my struggle came from the discomfort of feeling out-of-control. I hadn't felt this way since everything blew up with Rick. That event had collided with dealing with my mother's cancer and her death. The aftermath had left me feeling emotionally out of whack.
***
Finn pulled up in front of my house. Throughout the entire ride home, my body had been on fire. I was coming to realize I only had two choices: never see him again to somehow get control of myself, or give in to what I wanted because, sweet hell, I wanted him. Like mad.
Looking into his eyes, my heart was pounding wildly and my breath was shallow. I tried to think of what to say.
“Come in,” were the only words that came out.
It wasn’t a question, although it wasn't quite an order either. It was more of a breathy, ridiculous statement.
Finn simply nodded. In a flash, he was out of the car and opening my door, ever the gentleman. I swung my legs out and glanced up to realize his eyes were caught on where my skirt rode up on my thighs. The only relief I felt came from the recognition this attraction was definitely not one-sided. Thank God because it would be mortifying if it was. He reached for my hand, helping me up. That simple point of contact from his hand gripping mine sent heat licking through my veins.
I was galvanized, my body driven to get as close as possible to him. I curled my hand into his. I dimly heard the car door closing and then I was pulling him behind me, along the slate walkway and up the stairs to my place. We stumbled through the door.
Finn spun me around, my back slamming against the door. His lips collided with mine. Our kiss was like a flashpoint, the contact burning hot instantly. It was wet, messy, and needy, and I couldn't get enough. I yanked at his shirt. When I got the buttons undone, I ran my hands over his chest, savoring the feel of his skin, hot under my touch. He was hard everywhere, his body a work of muscled art.
He made quick work of my blouse, yanking it up over my head. Breaking our kiss with a muttered swear, his eyes flicked down on a ragged breath.
“Fuck me, Jana. I thought I was going to bloody lose my mind tonight,” he said in a gruff murmur.
I gasped, rolling my hips against him. His cock was conveniently nestled, hot and hard, in the cradle of my hips, right where I wanted it.
“You thought you were gonna lose your mind? You're dangerous. I don't think I can be seen in public with you.”
He chuckled, his lips making their way down my neck. His teeth nipped at the sensitive skin, the scrape of his stubble sending hot shivers through me. He rolled his thumb across my nipple through the black lace. I moaned, arching into his touch. I needed more. I needed everything all at once. I wanted it slow and fast, soft and hard. I tore his jeans open, sliding my hand into his briefs and shoving his jeans out of the way. His cock sprang free, and I curled my palm around it, sighing at the feel of the velvety, hot skin.
“Fuck, Jana,” he groaned, lifting his head, his eyes catching mine.
We stared at each other for a moment, his thumb coasting across my nipple. My heart clenched. My need was a gathering storm inside of me, mingling with this intense feeling I didn't know what to do with. The only relief was to lose myself in sensation with Finn. I stroked along his cock just as he flicked his thumb between my breasts, undoing the clasp of my bra. I moaned in relief. My breasts were tight and achy, my nipples so taut, they hurt. I cried out when he dipped his head, his mouth closing over one of my nipples. His touch wasn’t soft, it was rough and ragged, just how I felt inside. His teeth scored my nipple, drawing it sharply into his mouth.
I moaned his name with a husky cry. I gripped his hair with one hand and his cock with the other, stroking him roughly as he set out to drive me near to madness, alternating between my breasts. His knee slid between my thighs, and I rolled my hips restlessly against him, chasing after the sweet, sharp pleasure streaking through me. I was so close to the edge when he suddenly lifted his head and stepped back.
His breath heaved, his eyes locked to mine, hot and dark. My body was a storm inside, of need and emotion lashing at me, whipping each other into a frenzy.
“I need to feel you,” he said roughly.
Before I could even form a thought, he lifted me again
st him. I curled my legs reflexively around his hips, gasping at the feel of his cock rubbing against my pussy through the layers of fabric between us. My panties were drenched, and his cock slid against the damp silk as he carried me across the room.
“Bedroom?” he murmured gruffly, his eyes locked with mine.
I nudged my head toward a door behind us. Beyond the kitchen and living room, there were two doors—a bathroom and the bedroom. He followed my gesture and kicked the door open with his foot. I glanced down at Smokey, sound asleep on the couch, as we passed by. I was relieved he wasn't the friendliest cat at the moment. As we passed through the doorway, I reached out, flicking the single lamp on in the bedroom. Finn conveniently kicked the door shut behind him and walked straight to the bed. The lamp beside it cast the room in a soft glow.
He eased me onto the bed, and I was instantly disappointed, not because I didn't want to get naked. I was in a damn hurry to get naked, but any separation from him was a disappointment. I flung my bra to the floor, while he reached for my skirt and peeled it down my hips as I kicked my cowboy boots and leggings free, giggling when one of my boots bumped into him on the way to the floor. Greedy for him to be bare, I reached for him, tugging his jeans down roughly, giggling again when he got tangled and almost stumbled.
His jeans fell to the floor. He caught them in his hand and pulled a condom out of his wallet, tossing it onto the bed beside me. His dark eyes coasted over me, lighting fires on my skin everywhere they landed. The temporary pause gave me a chance to do what I’d wanted to do for hours. I leaned up on my elbows and dragged my tongue along the underside of his cock, gripping it in my hand and kissing the tip.
He groaned and started to say my name, but it was lost in another groan when I took him in my mouth. His cock was so hard and thick. I drew him in deeply, sliding back slowly and then down again, glancing up through my eyelashes. He tangled a hand in my hair, gripping it tightly, his eyes watching me. Curling my fist around him, I let it slide up and down in rhythm with my mouth as I settled in to drive him wild. Just when I thought I might be about to push him over the edge, he muttered something and then stepped back swiftly. He stretched out over me, roughly gripping my hands in his, lacing his fingers with mine and stretching my arms above my head.
His eyes locked with mine, the look in them so intense, my heart thumped in response. “Am I gonna have to cuff you?” he asked gruffly.
His words and the feel of his cock sliding against my wet pussy nearly made me come. “You might have to,” I said with a giggle.
“Maybe next time,” he murmured.
“Promises, promises.”
He chuckled and then reached for the condom rolling it on quickly. He rocked his hips against me, his hard cock sliding through my folds and over my clit. The storm lashed inside of me. Another slow slide against me. My eyes closed with a sigh, the pleasure so intense I could hardly bear it. When I opened them, his gaze was waiting. My heart gave a hard kick, emotion tightening in my chest. To have this raw desire vibrating between us and feel this intimacy, I didn't know what to do with it. It was tangled up with my need for him.
I was restless and wanted to feel more in control. Rolling swiftly, I unseated him. Straddling him, I glanced down with a grin. “There. Right where I want you.”
I thought for a moment he might try to take control again, but he didn't. His mouth curled up at the corner, one of those dangerous grins of his, and he gripped my hips, lifting me slightly. I reached between us, guiding his cock into my entrance. I sank down slowly, savoring the delicious stretch of him filling me.
Chapter 15
Finn
Jana sat astride me, her creamy clench gripping my cock. She felt so good, tight and slick around my cock. Staring up at her, my breath caught and my heart thudded against my ribs. I didn't know what to do with the way she made me feel, but I couldn't look away. I gripped her hips tightly, watching vulnerability flash in her eyes. I felt a dash of relief. At the least, she felt perhaps similar to how I did.
She held still for a moment and then started to move, her hips rising and falling in a slow roll. She'd already brought me nearly to the edge with her wild mouth. I hung onto the thin thread of my restraint. She seemed to need to take control right now, so I let her. She set a steady pace, her channel pulsing around me. For several strokes, her rhythm was measured, but then we lost control together. My hips rose up to meet her, my back arching as she rode me. Her channel throbbed, slick and wet, around me. I reached between us, pressing my thumb against her clit.
My name came in a rough shout from her. Her sex clenched me tightly, sending my own release hurtling through me, the force of it so strong, my body went limp as I spent myself inside of her. She collapsed against me, and I curled my arms around her. My hand tangled in her hair as we lay there, our breath heaving in the quiet bedroom. After a few moments, she lifted her head and raised herself up on an elbow. She traced circles on my chest as she looked down at me. One look at her flushed face, her lips swollen from our kisses, her hair a wild mess, and my cock twitched again.
She grinned that lopsided grin of hers. I shrugged, unabashed. I might not know what to think of any of what was happening with her, but I wasn't ashamed of the fact I wanted her like mad. There was no sense in hiding it. Still tracing circles on my chest, she looked at me quietly, her gaze sobering. My heart gave another hard thump.
She grinned again. “So, the cuffs?”
I chuckled, alternately amused and aroused at the idea of cuffing her to the bed and driving her wild. “I don't have them with me.”
“Okay, but I have expectations.”
“Fair enough,” I replied.
“Shower?” she asked.
“Sounds good.”
She slowly rose up, my cock sliding out of her. I instantly missed her closeness and feeling physically linked with her. That should’ve worried me, but I ignored it. Following her into the shower, I couldn't resist kissing her. She was bare naked with soap bubbles sliding over her delectable curves. Before I knew it, we were twined against each other again. I was sinking inside of her against the tile wall. It was only when I was buried deep that we realized together I didn't have a condom on.
I stared at her. “I don't…”
She shook her head sharply, cutting me off. “A little late for that now. We both forgot.”
I didn’t say it, but I couldn’t fucking believe myself. I didn’t forget things like this, but then Jana made me bloody lose my mind.
“Are you…?” My words trailed off when she cut me off again.
“On the pill. Yes, I am,” she said firmly.
“I'm clean,” I offered.
We held still, me buried deep in her core, our eyes locked for a moment, deciding together whether this was crazy or not. She suddenly nodded. “Sure you are. I trust you.”
“Ditto.”
She caught my lips in a kiss and then I pounded into her, hot water streaming over us, her channel clenching around my cock as I poured my release into her.
I bundled her into my arms later as we fell asleep.
Chapter 16
Jana
“Why the hell are you here?” I asked Rick as I looked up from where I was working on my laptop.
I often came by Desert Isle Coffee after work if I had a few things to finish up. Rick had interrupted my time. Rick, his cockiness and arrogance once a turn on, only managed to grate on me now. He adjusted his overcoat and slipped into the chair across from me.
“I wanted to say hello,” he said.
“Hello. There we said it. I don't want you to join me.”
He stared at me. “Jana, come on. You know we had something great before.”
I glared at him. “Rick, it wasn’t something great. We had an affair that I didn’t know was an affair. It was a huge mistake, and I never would have let anything happen if I’d known you were married.”
“I'm not married anymore,” he offered with a jaunty grin.
&nb
sp; I rolled my eyes. “Yeah and you haven't been for two years. Whatever Rick, I'm not interested. Please leave me alone.”
“Come on, Jana. You're not gonna find anything like what we had. We have chemistry,” he said, arching a brow and winking.
My stomach actually turned, not the good kind of turn. I shook my head. “Rick, get over it. Please leave.”
His grin faded. After a moment, he shook his head, looking more annoyed than anything else. “Fine, Jana. Good luck with your legal career,” he said with a roll of his eyes.
“Fuck you,” I said as he walked away.
We’d hardly spoken in the aftermath when our affair came out publicly. He quickly distanced himself and let me take the brunt of the public shame. He made me sick and what made me even sicker was that I'd ever had anything to do with him.
He ordered a coffee and left. My chest felt tight. I was anxious and out of sorts and had been for days. I hadn't been able to bring myself to pull it together after my night with Finn. We'd had another night the following night. I’d wanted him to stay Sunday night as well, but I forced myself to act like I had plans. I didn't, but it was too comfortable. I liked him too much, and I didn't know what the hell to do about it.
I knew Zoe would tell me to relax and stop worrying, but it felt like we were in this strange bubble, one neither one of us had expected to be in. I found myself fighting the urge to relax about it because I felt too comfortable with it and with him.
I sensed Zoe was right—Finn wasn’t anything like Rick. Yet, I hadn't expected my heart to be at risk. Restless and missing Finn, I shook my worries away, slipped my phone out and tapped out a text.
So how was your Sunday and your Monday and your Tuesday? Obvious fact: today is Wednesday.
I pulled up a silly gif. I was all out of my naughty cake pics, so this time I sent a silly puppy photo, then put my phone away and tried to focus on work. All the while wondering if the heated spark that I felt with Finn would ever fade. Spark didn't accurately capture it, it was more like a bonfire.