by J. H. Croix
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Brevity might’ve been a strong suit of mine.
An hour later, after dealing with a minor traffic accident, my phone vibrated on my desk. I spun it around to see Jana’s reply.
I'm busy this weekend. I'll be out of town.
That was it. Something felt off. It was flat, as if she were canceling a business meeting with me. I sensed something was afoot with her. Yet, we were nothing more than what we were to each other. At least on the surface. I wanted to say something, to demand she give me more than that, but I didn't. If you wanted to know why, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you. She’d rattled me.
***
I woke the following morning to the incessant buzzing of my cell phone. I rubbed a hand over my face and reached drowsily to the table by my bed. “Fuck!”
I sat up, glancing around to find my phone. It was across the room on top of the dresser. Rolling out of bed, I sleepily trudged over and snagged it.
“Yes?” I asked, my voice gravelly from sleep.
“Finn?”
I gave my head a shake, confused to hear the sound of my little sister’s voice.
“Sarah? What the hell are you calling at…” I paused to glance at the clock by my bed. The blue numbers read 6:00 AM.
“Sorry, Finn. I’m calling, well… I’m fine, but I got in a car accident with Remy…”
I was jolted out of my sleepy state. “Bloody hell, Sarah! Are you…”
“Calm down, Finn. I already said I was fine.”
Sarah quickly explained. She and Remy, her current roommate and friend from university, had been driving from DC to Seattle for the holidays. Sarah thought nothing of the fact she hadn’t bothered to share her plans with me, or our parents. Without a doubt, she was the free spirit in our family. Given my own life changing car accident years earlier, it took considerable effort not to lose my cool over this. Sarah assured me hurriedly that she was okay, but she had a broken ankle and a few bruises. The other issue was the car in question was totaled. I didn’t like to consider what it meant the vehicle was totaled, but I forced my attention to the moment. Those questions could wait.
Within a few hours, I was on a plane out to meet Sarah in Bozeman, Montana. As the crow flew, it was a few hours away. I met Sarah and Remy at the hotel where they were staying. Sarah came barreling out of the room, swinging her arms around me.
“You came!”
She wobbled as she stepped away. “Easy with that ankle,” I said as I steadied her.
“Oh, it's fine. It's just a crack,” she offered.
“How did you manage nothing but a cracked ankle bone and yet the car is totaled?” I asked in return, scanning her.
Sarah looked perfectly fine with the exception of the removable air boot on her ankle. Her dark hair was pulled up into a ponytail, her blue eyes were bright, and she looked as easy going as ever.
She tugged me through the door into their hotel room.
Remy Simpson, Sarah’s friend whom she'd met in university at Cambridge, grinned when she saw me. She was seated at a small round table in the room. She looked up from her laptop, brushing her blonde hair away from her face.
“We’re fine, Finn. My car was kind of a beater. It’s drivable, but my insurance company says it’s totaled value-wise,” Remy offered as she waved in my direction. “So I gotta get a new car.”
I looked between the two of them as Sarah plunked down on the end of one of the beds.
“What's the plan?” I asked.
Sarah caught my eyes. “I don't know. You want to drive the rest of the way?”
“To Seattle?” I countered.
Sarah nodded, rather enthusiastically.
I shook my head. “I don’t have time for a slow drive back, not to mention it’s almost winter and there’s snow on the ground. Driving through the mountains between here and Seattle won’t exactly be fun.”
Sarah sighed. With her rosy cheeks and her youthful, fresh faced look, her carefree spirit suited her. As soon as she’d graduated from university, she had bolted to the States.
“I can rent you two a car if you need.”
Sarah swung her uninjured foot back and forth. “Nah. If I'm being realistic, my ankle’s a little sore. I can't prop it up very easily in a car.”
Remy chuckled, her brown eyes crinkling at the corners. “No, probably not.”
“Okay, I’ll take care of the tickets. You two can crash at my place in Seattle until you figure out what’s next. Were you planning to let me know you were visiting?” I asked, my tone droll.
Sarah stood and threw her arms around me. “Yes!” She hopped back on her good foot. “I did text and say we might be coming for Christmas.”
“So you did,” I said wryly.
Sarah would consider a vague text of potential plans sufficient. I was used to this side of her, so I shrugged and moved on. I booked a room for the night at the same hotel and hopped online to purchase tickets to Seattle for all three of us. That night, I looked down at my phone, wondering if I should let Jana know I was out of town. I missed her. With the knowledge that Sarah was fine, I imagined it would’ve been fun to have Jana along with me on this unexpected trip.
Yet, I didn’t let her know anything. I figured if she cared to know where I was, she’d make some effort to be in touch with me. That night over dinner and drinks with Sarah and her friend, I got the latest update on Sarah's new plan.
“I'm going back to London,” she announced.
“Oh?”
Remy grinned. “She’s in looove.”
“Oh really?” I asked.
Sarah's cheeks got red, and she threw a glare at Remy. “I'm not in love.” Glancing back to me, she continued. “You remember Colin,” she said, referencing a guy she'd once dated in university.
“I do. He was nice enough,” I replied, thinking that was about all I could recall of him.
“Thank God,” Sarah said, gesturing at me with her straw. “Can you say something more enthusiastic?”
“What shall I say?” I countered wryly.
Remy cut in. “Your brother's not gonna think he's a hottie like you do.”
Sarah’s cheeks got redder. I remembered Colin. He was a nice chap. He’d been kind enough to help Sarah move flats several times during university and never once complained about it.
“I’m trying to recall if I met anyone else you dated, but I’m coming up blank. You brought him home to meet mom and dad. That’s a good sign,” I offered.
Sarah rolled her eyes. “Whatever. It's time for me to go back anyway. As much as it's fun to be here, I need to have a more stable job.”
Sarah had bounced around traveling and picking up waitressing jobs here and there.
“Will you work for Dad?”
Sarah was a math genius actually, and her brilliance with numbers had our father nagging her periodically to work in his investment firm.
She cocked her head to the side and shrugged. “I probably should. Numbers are my thing.”
Remy chuckled. “You should. You love anything to do with numbers. I can't say that for many people.”
Conversation carried on as we caught up. Along the way, Sarah asked me, “So what are you doing? Why don't you go home and work for dad? You know you could.”
“I know. Unlike you, it's not what I really want to do.”
She held my gaze for a long moment. “Well then, what would you want to do? You have funds to invest. You don’t need to be working your arse off as a cop.”
Sarah had a point. I occasionally contemplated how I’d slid into my current position. With the aftershocks of my car accident, my plans to play professionally over, and then my blown up engagement, I’d needed something that mattered to me. So I’d become a police officer. My work mattered, and it had helped get me through the depressing years of letting go of another dream. I supposed it had been easier to swallow knowing I could someday walk away if I chose. Frankly, I could’ve walked away sooner and joined my father’s investm
ent firm, but I had absolutely zero interest in it.
The recent case with Sutton actually had me contemplating. I could sink my teeth into investments and raising money for projects that might make a difference. Changes in the court process for DV victims would be one project.
Somewhere along the way as dinner progressed, Sarah looked over at me with a sigh. She was slightly tipsy at this point. “So are you seeing anyone?”
Jana flashed through my thoughts, but I didn't know what to say about her. My hesitation was just long enough to cue Sarah. “Something’s up.”
I shook my head slightly. “Nah. I’ve gone on a few dates with someone recently, but that’s it.”
“What's her name?” Sarah asked, undeterred by my vague reply.
“Jana,” I said succinctly.
“Is it serious?”
Bloody hell. I occasionally forgot how persistent Sarah could be.
“I wouldn’t say so.”
“It’s time for you to move on,” she declared. “Right Remy?”
Remy had enough sense to stay out of this one and simply shrugged, pulling up her phone and scrolling through something on the screen.
“Move on from what?” I asked.
“From Kristen.”
“Sarah, I'm not hung up on Kristen. I haven't been for years. Speaking of Kristen, she told me she talked to you. She was all put out I didn’t tell her about my trust fund. Mind letting me know next time you decide to gab to my ex?” I asked before taking a drag from my beer.
Sarah rolled her eyes. “She called me! I was just trying to get on her nerves. I guess it worked, huh?”
At my eye roll, she continued, “Anyway, you haven’t dated anyone in forever.”
“Bloody hell, Sarah. I’ve dated.”
She cocked her head to the side and glared at me. “No you haven't.”
“Sarah, I’m not celibate if that's what you're worried about.”
“Gah! I don’t want to hear about your sex life,” she said quickly.
“Well then, stop being so nosy.”
“Jana is the first woman’s name you’ve even mentioned. Tell me about her,” she demanded.
Remy burst out laughing, finally interrupting. “You are probably the single most annoying little sister ever!”
Sarah swatted her on the shoulder. “I am not!”
I chuckled. “Remy might have a point. Anyway, I’ve seen Jana a few times and I like her, but that's about all there is to tell.”
My heart gave a hard thump. Like didn’t quite capture how I felt about Jana, and I bloody well knew it. Yet, I didn't like thinking about it, not if she was going to create distance like she had. Another voice inside me kept reminding me that Jana had her own baggage and trust was a bit of a challenge for her. I sensed she’d gotten skittish. But I bloody hell didn't know what to do about it.
Chapter 24
Finn
I woke early the following morning to the buzz of my phone vibrating on the night table. I fumbled for it, and saw Becca's name flash on the screen. I quickly answered, sliding up against the headboard in my hotel bed.
“Becca, what's up?”
“Did I wake you up?” she asked.
“In case you missed it, it's Saturday,” I offered sarcastically.
“Right,” she replied without a hint of laughter. “Thought you’d want to know Ray Sutton is playing games with his no-contact order. He was spotted visiting a supposed friend in the same condominium complex where Lynne Sutton is staying with her family.”
I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. “I’m only surprised because I’d think he want to keep as low a profile as possible with the election coming up soon,” I replied, sliding up against the pillows. “I’m assuming there’s nothing we can do about it.”
“I plan to bring it up at our next hearing. I thought you’d want to know just to make sure your unit is up to speed if he pushes the limits too far. Do you have any units patrolling that area?” Becca asked.
“Of course. Not just my unit, but any of them assigned know to circle through that complex. I’ll touch base with Eli and have him follow up with the weekend guys. I’m not on duty this weekend.”
“Since when did that keep you from working?” Becca asked wryly.
I kicked the sheets off and swung my legs off the bed, glancing at the digital clock by the bed. It read 7:00am. “I'm actually in Montana, so I’m definitely not working.”
“What are you doing in Montana?” Becca asked.
I quickly explained the situation with Sarah. “I'll be back in Seattle by this evening.”
“Oh, another thing,” Becca added. “I ran into Zoe Walsh yesterday, and she said Ray came by trying to persuade her to take his case again. Thank God she turned him down.”
“Why would he be scouting around? He already has an attorney.”
“Because Zoe’s one of the best, and he wants her,” Becca said flatly.
I didn’t like thinking Ray was anywhere near Jana, no matter how irrational it seemed. “Mind doing me a favor?”
“Of course,” Becca said swiftly.
“Ask Aidan to have his guys keep an eye on Zoe’s office building,” I said. Aidan ran one of the premier security companies in Seattle. If anyone could make sure Ray didn’t pull anything slick, it would be Aidan and his team.
“I’m sure it won’t be a problem, but…” She paused and then laughed softly. “You’re worried about Jana, aren’t you?”
I stood from the bed and strode toward the hotel windows, pushing back the curtains to discover it had snowed during the night. The mountains surrounding Bozeman were dusted with white. “Nothing big. Just think it’s worth keeping an eye on Ray wherever he might go.”
“You think he would do something with this much attention on him?”
“I don't know what he would do, but desperate men do desperate things.”
After Becca hung up, I held my phone in my hand. Before I let myself think about it, I called Jana.
She answered on the first ring. As soon as she spoke, it occurred to me it was mere minutes past 7:00am, and I had no good reason to call other than that I was thinking about her.
“Hello?” she repeated when I didn’t immediately reply.
“Jana, it’s Finn,” I said.
“Finn?” she asked, her voice husky with sleep.
“I probably woke you up,” I said rather belatedly.
There was a long pause, and I heard a rustling sound. I imagined her warm and sleepy and wished I was there with her.
“You did, but that’s okay. My alarm went off a bit ago. What are you calling about?”
I couldn’t say I was thinking too clearly. “Oh, Becca McNamara called to update me on a few things and mentioned in passing Ray Sutton tried to persuade Zoe to take his case again. Since he’s nosing around, I asked her to have Aidan’s guys check the building periodically.”
“Oh. My. God. That’s ridiculous,” Jana snapped.
Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. Just now, I was tired, and I missed Jana. I definitely wasn’t thinking clearly. I didn’t bloody fucking care if she was upset about it.
“I did. It’s just a precaution. I’ll check on things when I’m back…”
“Where are you?” she asked, cutting in.
For the first time, I heard a hint of worry in her voice. I quickly explained, adding at the end, “Long story short, I came to get my sister and her friend. We're flying back to Seattle this afternoon. I'll be there this evening.”
“Oh,” Jana said, her tone shifting from concerned to controlled.
“I thought you were out of town,” I commented.
She was quiet for a beat. “Change of plans,” she finally said.
“Can I stop by tonight?”
She went quiet again. Her sigh filtered through the phone. “I don't know if that's a good idea, Finn. I’m not sure what we’re doing. Maybe we should take a step back.”
I didn't know what we were either, but here in
this moment of missing her, I knew she was more than just a passing fling. Yet, I didn't know how to have this conversation over the phone while I was close to a thousand miles away. So I took a breath and shackled my words.
“I’ll call you when I land. If anything comes up, please let me know.”
“I will,” she said softly.
There was so much more I wanted to say, but I said nothing.
Chapter 25
Jana
Even though it was Saturday, I went into the office that afternoon because there was always something I could do. I’d been restless ever since I’d spoken to Finn this morning. I felt like I was tilting through my day, dizzy from my own internal state. I needed to take a step back. I didn't trust myself to navigate the intimacy I felt with him. I couldn’t say why, but I didn’t believe I could have something like that. I was annoyed Finn had asked Aidan’s security company to check on our office building. There was nothing to worry about. Yet, it felt good to know he was concerned for me. That feeling was a curl of warmth around my heart. Though I didn't want to savor it so much, I did.
I let myself in the quiet office, locking the door behind me and settling down to get to work on some court filings. Hours later, the doorknob rattled at the front and my heart flew into my chest. Then, I heard a key slide into the lock and knew it must be Zoe. She stepped inside, closing the door behind her, her eyes widening when she turned to see me at the desk.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
“Working,” I offered with a shrug, feigning a casual tone. “What are you doing here?”
“Same actually. I stopped by to grab my laptop.” She stared at me for a moment, her gaze assessing. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I'm fine. Are you?”
“Yup. I'm fine. Are you and Finn doing anything this weekend?” she asked.
I shook my head quickly. “Nope. We're not like a thing,” I explained, my tone more defensive than I wished.
Zoe stepped from the door and slipped into the chair across from my desk. “Are you doing that thing where you’re pushing him away?” she asked bluntly.