by J. H. Croix
After my nod, Cade spun his truck onto the highway, heading in the direction of my home. Minutes later—taut with his hand teasing me so subtly I thought I might explode—he turned onto the road leading to my cabin. It was still light out, even though it was approaching midnight. Summer evenings in Alaska were a long, slow dance with dusk. Darkness would fall soon, but not quite yet.
He slowed, glancing to me. “You’ll have to show me where your drive is,” he said, his voice low and taut and threaded with a hint of uncertainty.
In a flash, I realized he was as much of a mess as I was. When we’d looked at this land back then, it had been empty—no driveway, nothing to mark it. Realizing he’d never actually been to my place was like a knife slicing across my heart—a sharp sting of pain right where it hurt the most. We’d missed so much and all over a very well-timed manipulation. I caught his gaze and gestured to a drive just ahead.
Cade turned into the driveway and slowed, his eyes scanning the area. My cabin was in a wooded area, a mix of blue spruce with clusters of cottonwood and birch scattered here and there. There were other homes nearby now, although not within sight. The trees opened up onto a small field with a shallow pond over to one side. My driveway curved in a circle at the end. He rolled his truck to a stop and slowly drew his hand away. Though I was so turned on I was about to melt into a puddle, I sensed the intensity of his emotion.
I climbed out along with him and went to stand at his side. In the smudgy light of late dusk, the pond looked magical with the rising moon coming up behind the trees and casting a silvery glow over everything. He looked out over the field and turned to look at the cabin.
“You built this?” he asked.
Wordlessly, I nodded. I didn’t quite know what to do with the emotions thundering through me. Somehow, this felt more momentous than I’d anticipated. Having him here in this place we’d once intended to share felt so enormous, it crashed over me.
I followed his eyes to the cabin. It was the first project I’d completed entirely on my own. It was a smallish cabin, nestled into the edge of the trees with the small field and pond to the other side. There were decks on both floors with the one upstairs a small curved deck, mimicking the larger curve of the deck on the lower floor.
Cade was quiet, so quiet I started to get anxious. He reached for my hand and walked to the cabin. We climbed the stairs together, every step feeling monumental. I didn’t lock my door because it was unnecessary. We stepped through, the door falling closed behind us on a whisper. My cabin had a shared living room and kitchen in most of the downstairs with a bathroom and laundry area to the back. An open loft upstairs led to the bedroom and another bathroom.
His eyes scanned the space, while my heart pounded a wild, frantic beat. Restless, I started to pull free, but he tightened his grip on my hand.
“Don’t.”
His word fell into the quiet, his voice husky and sending a prickle up my spine. I looked over at him, instantly caught in his gaze. He reeled me to him. My body remembered his and came flush against him, as if it had been just yesterday that we slept together every night. Oh God. He felt so good. So hard, so strong, so everything I wanted because he was Cade, the only man I’d ever been able to let go with.
“It’s nice,” he whispered.
My confusion must’ve shown because his mouth curled at one corner. “This place. I like it,” he added.
I swallowed and nodded. I couldn’t really talk, not with my pulse running wildly, heat suffusing me, and my longing for him so profound, I couldn’t think past any of it.
He lifted his hand, sifting his fingers through my hair. “It really pissed me off to see you with Earl.”
“I wasn’t with him the way you mean.”
I felt his shrug, his low chuckle vibrating through my body.
“It didn’t matter to me.”
His words encircled my heart. The implied jealousy made me flush, inside and out. I’d forgotten how it felt to be wanted this way.
“I was never with him the way I am with you. Never with anyone.”
His gaze darkened as his hand slid into my hair to cup my nape, his thumb brushing in a maddening tease along the side of my neck.
“That’s good to know. Because for me, it’s always been you.”
We stood like that, flush against each other in the center of the room with the silvery moonlight cast through the windows. I could barely breathe with fierce need radiating through me. His voice startled me. I’d sunk into the quiet, into the heartbeat of nothing but sensation and desire thrumming between us.
“I don’t think I can go slow,” he said.
A hot shiver raced through me, want coiling tighter in my core. I could feel the wetness between my thighs and knew I was soaked for him. “I don’t think I can either,” I finally managed to say, my voice coming out raspy.
At that, his eyes darkened further. In a flash, his mouth was on mine and he was tugging at my clothes. There was no slow build up. I was so fraught with need, I’d have lost my mind if he weren’t matching my madness. As it was, clothes were torn off and strewn about as we stumbled across the room.
I managed to flick on a lamp by the couch when Cade paused to kick his shoes off after he almost fell over when I shoved his jeans down. I tumbled to the couch, bare except for my blue silk panties, the one article of clothing where my streak of femininity showed. His remaining boot thumped to the floor behind him, and he kicked his jeans free. I looked up at him, and my mouth went dry. Oh. My. God.
It wasn’t that I didn’t know what he looked like. I’d even had a chance to get my hands on him once recently. But it had been a long seven years since I’d seen him fully naked. He’d gone from a sexy as hell young man to a hard, muscled, dangerously sexy man. I knew his job was about as physically demanding as it could get, but still. There wasn’t an inch of him that wasn’t honed and hard. He had a dusting of dark hair on his chest, his skin glinting amber in the soft light.
He looked down at me, his eyes dark and intent. Everywhere his eyes landed lit small fires under my skin. He leaned over and dragged his finger across the silk between my thighs. “You’re so fucking wet.”
I couldn’t even speak, but my hips rolled into his touch. I cried out when he drew away. He wasted no time and hooked a finger over the edge of my panties, dragging them off roughly and tossing them aside. He leaned over to snag his jeans off the floor. Puzzled, I shook my head when I realized he was tugging a condom out of his wallet.
“I’m on the pill, and I’m clean. Except for you…” I had to pause when emotion choked me. Aside from him, I’d never had sex with anyone without a condom. Cade was the man I’d lost my virginity to and the man who’d gone with me when I went to the doctor to start taking the pill. When I tried dating again, I simply couldn’t bring myself to let anyone past that layer. Not even Earl, not even when I thought I was going to marry him.
When Cade was silent, his hand frozen midair with a condom packet held in it, I got anxious. “Unless, I mean… Maybe…”
Whatever he saw in my eyes snapped him into motion. He tossed the condom packet to the floor and stretched out over me quickly. I hadn’t realized a tear had rolled down my cheek until he wiped it away with his thumb. It was such a relief to have him against me, his weight and strength wrapping me into the moment with him. His cock rested against my slick folds and need clawed at me, but I had to catch my breath.
He dusted kisses over my face. “God, Lia. Don’t look like that. I can’t take it,” he murmured.
“Well, I didn’t know what you were thinking,” I managed, gasping when his hips rocked against me, his cock sliding over my clit.
“It’s been seven years since I had sex with anyone without a condom, so I was just a little startled. Don’t think for a second I don’t want it,” he said, his hips arching into me again.
I took a shuddering breath, trying and failing to corral the wild need pounding through me. I didn’t want to talk anymore. “Cade
, please…” Whatever I’d meant to say got lost the second he drew back and surged inside of me.
He curled his hands into mine, stretching them above my head. His eyes were like hot embers on me. I felt the burn of his gaze and couldn’t look away. He held still for a moment, and I sighed at the feel of my channel stretching to accommodate him. It felt so good, so right to have him filling me. I could feel his heart pounding in time with mine, his skin hot and slick against me. After a moment, he began to move. My sex clenched around him as he stroked into me—long and deep, he drove into me again and again and again. There was nothing gentle about this—my legs curled around him, my hips colliding with the rough pounding of his, his hands tightening their grip on mine, the scrape of his teeth against my neck and the burn of his eyes when I started to unravel.
Pleasure ripped through me, my climax so intense, I spun loose inside. The only thing anchoring me was the feel of Cade against me. He let out a growl, my name following in a rough cry as he went taut and then collapsed against me.
Chapter 20
Cade
I opened my eyes, momentarily disoriented. I wasn’t accustomed to waking to the feel of soft curves against me. Through the haze of sleep, I remembered it was Amelia sleeping beside me. The tension that had started to build inside eased instantly. I was on my back with one of her legs thrown across mine and her foot tucked in between my calves. My heart clenched at the familiar feel of her. I eased up on the pillows and glanced down at her. Her amber hair was a tousled mess around her face and shoulders. Emotion rocked me, colliding with the lust setting fire in my veins.
There’d never been any shortage of chemistry between us, yet somehow seven years mixed with a tangle of pain, regret and anger was like pouring octane fuel on the fire burning between us. I sifted my fingers through her hair, idly untangling the silky strands. She shifted slightly in her sleep, the feel of her skin sliding against mine sending blood straight to my groin. I wanted to savor this moment—the simple act of waking up with the one and only woman I’d ever loved on the heels of years of thinking we’d never have this chance again was so good I didn’t want to miss it. Yet, my body wasn’t so interested in taking anything slow. My need for her went from sleepy arousal to burning need so fast, it was hard to keep a grip.
When we’d made our way up here last night, we’d showered, and despite the fact I’d just spent myself inside of her once, one look at the water sluicing over her had me sliding my hands over her bottom and reaching between her thighs to find her hot, wet and ready. In a flash, I sank into her clenching heat.
After that, we’d tumbled into bed in the darkness. I took a slow breath and rolled my head to the side, glancing out the windows. She’d wisely situated the small home such that the windows to the front offered a clear view of the adjacent field and pond. In the early morning light, mist rose off the water. A flock of sandhill cranes was pecking at the grass at the edge of the field. Knowing Amelia, I’d guess she tossed cracked corn out for them all summer long. Sandhill cranes migrated to Alaska every summer and typically returned to the same area year after year. The tall, leggy birds could easily blend into the grass, but for their bright red crowns atop their heads. This flock had likely been coming here long before Amelia built here, yet she’d have gone out of her way to make sure her presence didn’t scare them away.
I took a steadying breath, trying to contain the emotion and need coursing through me. Amelia was a bundle of soft, lush curves against me. She shifted again, and I nearly groaned aloud. I felt her come awake with a subtle thread of tension humming through her body. She lifted her head, her amber eyes catching mine. God, I loved how she looked when she was sleepy. By nature, she was a strong, bold, confident woman. It was rare to see her with her guard down, but when she was sleepy it was. She stared at me, completely quiet for a moment, but I felt her heart starting to thud against me.
“Mornin’,” I said, brushing a few tangled strands of hair away from her eyes.
Her cheeks flushed. “Good morning. Um…”
Her words trailed off, and she glanced away, starting to look like she was thinking way too much.
“Amelia?”
Her eyes whipped back to mine.
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Start thinking too much.”
She stiffened, and I couldn’t help but grin. I’d forgotten how much I enjoyed getting under her skin, even just a little.
“I’m not…”
I moved fast, lifting her up and over me. She gasped, but she didn’t resist, which might’ve been fun. Her knees landed on either side of my hips. Exactly where I wanted her.
I looked up at her. The early morning sun was falling through the windows at an angle, catching her hair in its light and glinting it with gold. I could feel her slick heat against me. I was tempted, so fucking tempted, to drive into her right now. I couldn’t help it and arched into her. She gasped and closed her eyes.
“Wait. Not yet,” I bit out.
Her eyes flew open, lasering me with a glare.
“Don’t you dare tease like that,” she said, her voice still rough from sleep.
She started to rise up, but I was ready and I knew what I wanted.
In a flash, I rolled us and stretched out over her. There were so many things I wanted—perhaps a full week in bed with her would give me enough time—but right now, I had to taste her. I mapped my way down her body with my hands and lips, pausing to dally over her breasts. Full and round with taut, pink nipples, I could’ve spent all day there.
If she was still annoyed with me, it was lost amidst her rough sighs and occasional moans. I spread her knees apart, trailing my fingers up the insides of her thighs, which earned me a murmured curse. I dragged a finger through her folds. She was so wet, her thighs were damp. I meant to take my time, but the lust pounding through me was so strong, I couldn’t. I sank a finger knuckle-deep, savoring the clenching of her channel. A dip of my head and I set to exploring her with my tongue, while I fucked her with my fingers.
She tasted so good, I settled in—licking, stroking and sucking. I meant to make her come apart, but I’d forgotten how demanding she could be. She gripped my hair and yanked. I lifted my head, still toying inside her with my fingers, stretching and stroking.
“I need you. Now,” she demanded, her voice rough and raspy.
“You have me,” I countered, enjoying her frustration.
With her sex clenching around me, I drew my thumb in a slow circle around her clit.
Her head fell back on a throaty cry, but she was only momentarily deterred. She lifted her head. Damn. She was fucking glorious with her hair a tangle around her face, her skin flushed and damp, and her breasts rising and falling with her heavy pants.
“Inside,” she ordered.
I dragged my fingers out and sank them in deep. “Like this?”
She muttered a curse and yanked at me. Seeing as I wanted the same thing, I stopped teasing. The moment I was stretched atop her, our bodies flush together and the tip of my cock at her entrance, I held still, locking eyes with her. Electricity fairly snapped in the air around us. The intensity of connection I felt with her—so sharp it pierced my heart—hit me with a force so strong, I lost my breath. I stared at her—hard—and slowly sank into her. Again, what I meant to do and what happened weren’t the same. I wanted to go slow, to be able to savor every millisecond of this, but my body was having none of that. The forces driving within us, between us and around us were so powerful, the moment I sank into her creamy clench, raw, primal instinct took over.
Her legs curled around my hips, her nails scored my back, and I drummed into her, every stroke deeper than the last. I felt the shudder roll through her body, her channel pulsing around my cock. She cried out, my name a rough shout, just as my own release thundered through me. I fell against her, annihilated inside and out by the release and what it felt like to be with her. As my breath slowly eased and my heart stopped poun
ding so hard I could barely hear, I shifted my weight to her side.
We lay in a sweaty tangle. After a moment, I felt her eyes on me and opened mine. Her eyes were clear. After a beat, she reached up and smoothed my brows with her fingertip.
Chapter 21
Amelia
I leaned my elbows on the counter and watched as Cade practically inhaled the omelet I’d served him a few minutes ago. I’d managed to get through most of the morning without letting my pushy, critical mind get in the way of the best morning I’d had in as long as I could remember. Last night had been amazing. This morning had been amazing. It felt so strange and familiar at once to be with Cade like this again. It was hard to believe the ugly part of last night had even happened. I still didn’t know quite what to think of how easily I’d let go of Earl. In hindsight, it was brutally clear I’d never loved him. My mind and heart were filled with Cade and Cade alone.
I wasn’t in the mood to avoid anything anymore. I’d wasted two years of my life on Earl and far more all because I’d been so good at avoiding anything that made me think about Cade. Funny thing was, despite my stubborn, herculean efforts, Cade had never been far from my mind. All I’d succeeded at was blocking myself from the truth. What a waste.
The coffee maker beeped and I turned to check it. After filling two mugs, I slid one across the counter and sat down across from him. “So, when did you say you start work?”
“Monday,” he said between bites.
“What are you doing today?”
He took a slow sip of coffee, his green gaze assessing. “Whatever you’re doing,” he said, a slow grin curling the corners of his mouth.
I smiled straight through to my toes, emotion rocking me as tears pricked at my eyes.
His smile faded, and he set his coffee down, reaching over to curl his hand around mine. “Hey, if it’s too much, just say so. There’s what I want now and what I want long-term. I don’t want to take it slow, but I know maybe the timing’s not the best.” He paused, his throat working and his eyes locking to mine—his intent gaze making me feel as if he could see right into my heart. “I don’t want to fuck this up again.”