The Oxford Shakespeare: The Complete Works
Page 265
WILLIAMSON My masters, ere we part let’s friendly go and drink together, and swear true secrecy upon our lives.
GEORGE BETS There spake an angel. Come, let us along then.
Exeunt
Sc. 2 An arras is drawn, and behind it, as in sessions, sit the Lord Mayor, Justice Suresby, and other Justices, ⌈and the Recorder⌉, Sheriff More and the other Sheriff sitting by. Smart is the plaintiff, Lifter the prisoner at the bar
LORD MAYOR
Having dispatched our weightier businesses,
We may give ear to petty felonies.
Master Sheriff More, what is this fellow?
MORE
My lord, he stands indicted for a purse.
He hath been tried; the jury is together.
LORD MAYOR
Who sent him in?
SURESBY That did I, my lord.
Had he had right, he had been hanged ere this,
The only captain of the cutpurse crew.
LORD MAYOR What is his name?
SURESBY
As his profession is: Lifter, my lord,
One that can lift a purse right cunningly.
LORD MAYOR
And is that he accuses him?
SURESBY
The same, my lord, whom, by your honour’s leave,
I must say somewhat too, because I find
In some respects he is well worthy blame.
LORD MAYOR
Good Master Justice Suresby, speak your mind.
We are well pleased to give you audience.
SURESBY
Hear me, Smart. Thou art a foolish fellow.
If Lifter be convicted by the law,
As I see not how the jury can acquit him,
I’ll stand to’t thou art guilty of his death.
MORE ⌈to the Lord Mayor⌉
My lord, that’s worth the hearing.
LORD MAYOR
Listen then, good Master More.
SURESBY ⌈to Smart⌉
I tell thee plain, it is a shame for thee
With such a sum to tempt necessity.
No less than ten pounds, sir, will serve your turn
To carry in your purse about with ye,
To crack and brag in taverns of your money?
I promise ye, a man that goes abroad
With an intent of truth, meeting such a booty,
May be provoked to that he never meant.
What makes so many pilferers and felons
But such fond baits that foolish people lay
To tempt the needy miserable wretch?
Ten pounds odd money, this is a pretty sum
To bear about, which were more safe at home.
Lord Mayor and More whisper
‘Fore God, ’twere well to fine ye as much more,
To the relief of the poor prisoners,
To teach ye be more careful of your own.
( ) rightly served.
( )
MORE
Good my lord, sooth a ( ) for once,
Only to try conclusions in this case.
LORD MAYOR
Content, good Master More. We’ll rise a while,
And till the jury can return their verdict
Walk in the garden. How say ye, justices?
ALL JUSTICES
We like it well, my lord; we’ll follow ye.
Exeunt Lord Mayor and Justices
MORE
Nay, plaintiff, go you too. Exit Smart
And officers,
Stand you aside, and leave the prisoner
To me a while.
Exeunt all but More and Lifter
Lifter, come hither.
LIFTER What is your worship’s pleasure?
MORE
Sirrah, you know that you are known to me,
And I have often saved ye from this place
Since first I came in office. Thou seest beside
That Justice Suresby is thy heavy friend,
For all the blame that he pretends to Smart
For tempting thee with such a sum of money.
I tell thee what: devise me but a means
To pick or cut his purse, and on my credit,
And as I am a Christian and a man,
I will procure thy pardon for that jest.
LIFTER
Good Master Sheriff, seek not my overthrow.
You know, sir, I have many heavy friends,
And more indictments like to come upon me.
You are too deep for me to deal withal.
You are known to be one of the wisest men
That is in England. I pray ye, Master Sheriff,
Go not about to undermine my life.
MORE
Lifter, I am true subject to my king.
Thou much mistak’st me, and for thou shalt not think
I mean by this to hurt thy life at all,
I will maintain the act when thou hast done it.
Thou knowest there are such matters in my hands
As, if I pleased to give them to the jury,
I should not need this way to circumvent thee.
All that I aim at is a merry jest.
Perform it, Lifter, and expect my best.
LIFTER
I thank your worship, God preserve your life!
But Master Justice Suresby is gone in.
I know not how to come near where he is.
MORE
Let me alone for that. I’ll be thy setter.
I’ll send him hither to thee presently,
Under the colour of thine own request
Of private matters to acquaint him with.
LIFTER
If ye do, sir, then let me alone.
Forty to one but then his purse is gone.
MORE
Well said; but see that thou diminish not
One penny of the money, but give it me.
It is the cunning act that credits thee.
LIFTER
I will, good Master Sheriff, I assure thee. Exit More
I see the purpose of this gentleman
Is but to check the folly of the Justice
For blaming others in a desperate case,
Wherein himself may fall as soon as any.
To save my life it is a good adventure.
Silence there, hol Now doth the Justice enter.
Enter Justice Suresby
SURESBY
Now, sirrah, now, what is your will with me?
Wilt thou discharge thy conscience, like an honest
man?
What sayst to me, sirrah? Be brief, be brief.
LIFTER As brief, sir, as I can.
(Aside) If ye stand fair, I will be brief anon.
SURESBY
Speak out and mumble not. What sayst thou, sirrah?
LIFTER
Sir, I am charged, as God shall be my comfort,
With more than’s true—
SURESBY
Sir, sir, ye are indeed, with more than’s true,
For you are flatly charged with felony.
You’re charged with more than truth, and that is theft:
More than a true man should be charged withal.
Thou art a varlet; that’s no more than true.
Trifle not with me, do not, do not, sirrah.
Confess but what thou knowest; I ask no more.
LIFTER
There be, sir—there be, if’t shall please your worship—
SURESBY
‘There be’, varlet? What be there, tell me what there be?
Come off or on ‘there be’, what be there, knave?
LIFTER
There be, sir, divers very cunning fellows
That while you stand and look them in the face
Will have your purse.
SURESBY
Thou’rt an honest knave.
Tell me, what are they, where they may be caught.
Ay, those are they I look for.
LIFTER
You talk of
me, sir—
Alas, I am a puny. There’s one, indeed,
Goes by my name; he puts down all for purses
SURESBY
Be as familiar as thou wilt, my knave.
’Tis this I long to know.
LIFTER (aside)
And you shall have your longing ere ye go.—
This fellow, sir, perhaps will meet ye thus,
Action ⌈of greeting him⌉
Or thus, or thus, and in kind compliment
Pretend acquaintance, somewhat doubtfully,
And these embraces serve.
SURESBY (shrugging gladly)
Ay, marry, Lifter, wherefore serve they?
LIFTER
Only to feel
Whether you go full under sail or no,
Or that your lading be aboard your barque.
SURESBY
In plainer English, Lifter, if my purse
Be stored or no?
LIFTER
Ye have it, sir.
SURESBY
Excellent, excellent!
LIFTER
Then, sir, you cannot but for manners’ sake
Walk on with him, for he will walk your way,
Alleging either you have much forgot him,
Or he mistakes you.
SURESBY
But in this time has he my purse or no?
LIFTER
Not yet, sir, fie! ⌈Aside⌉ No, nor I have not yours.—
⌈He takes Suresby’s purse.⌉
Enter Lord Mayor, ⌈Justices, and the Recorder; Sheriff
More and the other Sheriff⌉
But now we must forbear; my lords return.
SURESBY
A murrain on’t! Lifter, we’ll more anon.
Ay, thou sayst true: there are shrewd knaves indeed.
He sits down
But let them gull me, widgeon me, rook me, fop me,
I‘faith, i’faith, they are too short for me.
Knaves and fools meet when purses go.
Wise men look to their purses well enough.
MORE (aside)
Lifter, is it done?
LIFTER (aside)
Done, Master Sheriff, and there it is.
⌈He gives Suresby’s purse to More⌉
MORE (aside)
Then build upon my word, I’ll save thy life.
RECORDER Lifter, stand to the bar. 150
The jury have returned thee guilty; thou must die.
According to the custom, look to it, Master Sheriff.
LORD MAYOR
Then, gentlemen, as you are wont to do,
Because as yet we have no burial place,
What charity your meaning’s to bestow 155
Toward burial of the prisoners now condemned,
Let it be given. There is first for me.
RECORDER
And there’s for me.
ANOTHER
And me.
SURESBY
Body of me,
My purse is gone!
MORE Gone, sir? What, here? How can that be?
LORD MAYOR
Against all reason: sitting on the bench? 160
SURESBY
Lifter, I talked with you; you have not lifted me, ha?
LIFTER
Suspect ye me, sir? O, what a world is this!
MORE
But hear ye, Master Suresby. Are ye sure
Ye had a purse about ye?
SURESBY
Sure, Master Sheriff, as sure as you are there; 165
And in it seven pounds odd money, on my faith.
MORE
Seven pounds odd money? What, were you so mad,
Being a wise man, and a magistrate,
To trust your purse with such a liberal sum?
Seven pounds odd money? Fore God, it is a shame 170
With such a sum to tempt necessity.
I promise ye, a man that goes abroad
With an intent of truth, meeting such a booty,
May be provoked to that he never thought.
What makes so many pilferers and felons 175
But these fond baits that foolish people lay
To tempt the needy, miserable wretch?
Should he be taken now that has your purse,
I’d stand to‘t, you are guilty of his death;
For, questionless, he would be cast by law.
’Twere a good deed to fine ye as much more,
To the relief of the poor prisoners,
To teach ye lock your money up at home.
SURESBY
Well, Master More, you are a merry man.
I find ye, sir, I find ye well enough.
MORE
Nay, ye shall see, sir, trusting thus your money,
And Lifter here in trial for like case,
But that the poor man is a prisoner,
It would be now suspected that he had it.
Thus may ye see what mischief often comes
By the fond carriage of such needless sums.
LORD MAYOR
Believe me, Master Suresby, this is strange,
You being a man so settled in assurance
Will fall in that which you condemned in other.
MORE
Well, Master Suresby, there’s your purse again,
And all your money. Fear nothing of More.
Wisdom still ( ) the door.
[Exeunt]
Sc. 3 Enter the Earls of Shrewsbury and Surrey, Sir Thomas Palmer, and Sir Roger Cholmley
Mend this:
SHREWSBURY
My lord of Surrey, and Sir Thomas Palmer,
Might I with patience tempt your grave advice?
I tell ye true, that in these dangerous times
I do not like this frowning vulgar brow.
My searching eye did never entertain
A more distracted countenance of grief
Than I have late observed
In the displeased commons of the city.
SURREY
’Tis strange, that from his princely clemency
So well a tempered mercy and a grace
To all the aliens in this fruitful land,
That this high-crested insolence should spring
From them that breathe from his majestic bounty,
That, fattened with the traffic of our country,
Already leap into his subjects’ face.
PALMER
Yet Sherwin hindered to commence his suit
Against de Barde, by the Ambassador
By supplication made unto the King;
Who, having first enticed away his wife
And got his plate, near worth four hundred pound,
To grieve some wronged citizens that found
This vile disgrace oft cast into their teeth,
Of late sues Sherwin, and arrested him
For money for the boarding of his wife.
SURREY
The more knave Barde, that, using Sherwin’s goods,
Doth ask him interest for the occupation.
I like not that, my lord of Shrewsbury.
He’s ill bestead that lends a well-paced horse
Unto a man that will not find him meat.
CHOLMLEY
My lord of Surrey will be pleasant still.
PALMER
I being then employed by your honours
To stay the broil that fell about the same,
Where by persuasion I enforced the wrongs
And urged the grief of the displeased city,
He answered me, and with a solemn oath,
That if he had the Mayor of London’s wife
He would keep her, in despite of any English man.
SURREY
’Tis good, Sir Thomas, then, for you and me
Your wife is dead, and I a bachelor.
If no man can possess his wife alone,
I am glad, Sir Thomas Palmer, I have none.
CHOLMLEY
If a take my wife, a
shall find her meat.
SURREY
And reason good, Sir Robert Cholmley, too:
If these hot Frenchmen needsly will have sport,
They should in kindness yet defray the charge.
’Tis hard when men possess our wives in quiet,
And yet leave us in to discharge their diet.
SHREWSBURY
My lord, our caters shall not use the market
For our provision but some stranger Lombard now
Will take the victuals from him he hath bought.
A carpenter, as I was late informed,
Who having bought a pair of doves in Cheap,
Immediately a Frenchman Lombard took them from him,
And beat the poor man for resisting him;
And when the fellow did complain his wrongs
He was severely punished for his labour.
SURREY
But if the English blood be once but up,
As I perceive their hearts already full,
I fear me much, before their spleens be cooled,
Some of these saucy aliens for their pride 60
Will pay for’t soundly, wheresoe’er it lights.
This tide of rage that with the eddy strives,
I fear me much, will drown too many lives.
CHOLMLEY
Now afore God, your honours, pardon me.
Men of your place and greatness are to blame- 65
I tell ye true, my lords-in that his majesty
Is not informed of this base abuse,
And daily wrongs are offered to his subjects;
For if he were, I know his gracious wisdom
Would soon redress it.
Enter a Messenger
SfIREWSBURY
Sirrah, what news?
CHOLMLEY
None good, I fear.
MESSENGER
My lord, ill news; and worse, I fear, will follow
If speedily it be not looked unto.
The city is in an uproar, and the Mayor
Is threatened if he come out of his house.
A number, poor artifices
[CHOLMLEY]
’Twas to be feared what this would come unto.
This follows on the Doctor’s publishing
The bill of wrongs in public at the Spital.
SHREWSBURY
That Doctor Beal may chance beshrew himself
For reading of the bill.
PALMER
Let us go gather forces to the Mayor
For quick suppressing this rebellious rout.
SURREY
Now I bethink myself of Master More,
One of the sheriffs, a wise and learned gentleman,
And in especial favour with the people.
He, backed with other grave and sober men,
May by his gentle and persuasive speech