Code of Love

by Sharon Cummin

  “I don't know,” Julie said, as her face fell into her hands. “I just don't know.”

  “He went to our parents' home, and he faced all of them,” Jessie continued. “That couldn't have been easy. Do you think he did it just to fuck with dad? If so, why didn't he say anything while he was there? You know I'm right.”

  “Doesn't matter,” Julie said, as she stood and headed toward her room. “I don't care if he used me for one second. The point is that he did and that his original intentions were bad. I don't need that. I don't want it.”

  Julie got ready for work and headed out without another word to her sister. She hadn't heard from Cody once all weekend. That meant something. How could her sister not see that?

  As soon as she got to class, Julie pulled out her phone and sent a message, with an address and a time, to Jason. A long time ago, she would have gone running for him, but she wasn't that girl anymore. She'd felt things when she was with Cody that she'd never felt before, not even with Jason. Things had changed, and the feelings she got from having Jason show up, acting like he cared, were proof of that. They were best friends, but it was nothing like it used to be for her.

  Julie's first two classes went by in a blur. She'd never had such a hard time concentrating on what she was teaching, and it pissed her off. Her students didn't deserve a teacher that wasn't completely there. That wasn't what they were paying for, and that wasn't what they needed.

  If dealing with what Cody had done wasn't enough to mess with her head, Jason had added himself to the mix. She knew getting over Cody would take time, but the whole Jason thing was something she could deal with right away. In all honesty, she didn't want a man in her life, not for any reason, and she wasn't sure when she'd be ready to deal with any of them.

  Julie pulled into the parking lot of the diner she'd asked Jason to meet her at. They had two hours to talk. She hoped they could come to some type of agreement by then. He had to leave. There was no way he could stay, and that was Jessie's fault. That was not something Julie was ready to take on either. There was already so much on her plate that she felt like it was overflowing, and she wasn't about to add one more thing to it.

  As soon as she stepped out of her car, she saw Jason leaning up against a car a few cars down. His head was down, and his eyes were glued to the phone he was holding in his hands. She watched him type at record speed for a minute or so before she walked toward him.

  “You ready to eat, or do you have something better to do?” she asked, feeling a bit offended that he'd not once looked up from his phone to see if she was even there.

  “Can we talk out here?” he asked. “I have something I need to tell you.”

  “I have two hours before my classes start again, and I didn't eat this morning,” she said. “If you want to talk, we can do it in there. If you want to stay out here and deal with whatever has you typing like a man on a mission, then go ahead.”

  “I guess we can eat,” he said, as he shoved his phone in his pocket, walked toward her, and threw his arm over her shoulder, before leaning down and kissing her cheek. “Lead the way.”

  Julie walked them toward a corner booth and sat down. She grabbed the menu and quickly looked it over. Once the waitress took their orders and walked away, Julie looked across the table at Jason.

  “I'm sorry for earlier,” she said. “I was very rude to you, and I didn't mean it. I've got so much more going on than you know, and you showing up out of nowhere had me putting my guard up.”

  “Julie,” he said, as he reached across the table and took her hands in his. “You never have to have your guard up with me. I've known you forever. I'd never do anything to hurt you.”

  When she didn't say anything, he gave her hands a squeeze.

  “You believe me, right?” he asked.

  “I honestly don't know,” she answered.

  “What the fuck has he done to you?” Jason growled out.

  “Him?” she asked roughly, as she pulled her hands from his. “Believing you has nothing to do with him. Why would you even ask that? Has my dad been filling your head with shit about him too?”

  “I did speak to your father after you stormed out that day,” Jason said. “And yes, I've talked to him since, but what has me pissed is the way the little punk treated you himself.”

  “First of all, you shouldn't know anything about how he treated me,” she snapped. “My sister shouldn't have said a damn thing. This is something you will not tell my father.”

  “If you answered your phone, I wouldn't call her,” he snapped back.

  “Second of all,” she started, completely ignoring his comment. “What happened between him and me had nothing to do with you.”

  “Julie,” he began, but she cut him off.

  “No, Jason,” she said. “There have been times you've not answered my calls for days, so I don't want to hear that shit. You called and text me more the week after I came home from my parents' than you have in a very long time. After that week, nothing. Now, you find out he did me wrong, and here you are. I don't get it.”

  The waitress walked up with their food, and the second she was gone, he began.

  “I love you, Julie,” Jason said.

  “I love you too,” she said. “You know that.”

  “No, I really love you,” he said. “I didn't like seeing you with him. I don't know what it was, but it pissed me off. Seeing you pull away from my arms for him tore at my heart. He's not worthy of you, Jewels.”

  “It's my dad,” she said. “It's all the shit he's ever said. That's why you don't like him.”

  “No,” Jason replied. “I don't like you being with him. He's not the one you should be with. I am.”

  “You piss me off,” she said, as she took a bite of her food with a shake of her head.

  “I know,” he said.

  “No, you don't,” she said, as she leaned her head in her hands and continued. “There was a time I would have followed you anywhere, Jason. I begged you not to go, but you did. Before you say anything, I get it. I do, but that doesn't change how bad it hurt me. We talked a lot at first. Then you got busy, and you didn't have as much time anymore. Don't think I haven't seen your social media page either. I know your ass has gone from one woman to the next and partied way more than I could imagine. I had a huge crush on you. Shit! I can even say that I used to love you, but you couldn't be bothered with me. Now that I've found someone I care about, someone I love, you come back to tell me you've changed your mind.”

  “Love,” he snapped out. “Did you just say you love that asshole? You're not even talking to him.”

  “I know,” she said, as she looked up from her hands. “You're right, I'm not, and I may never talk to him again. That doesn't change how I feel, how I felt just a few days ago. To hear you say you love me pisses me off. I know that's wrong. I know I should be happy, but I'm not. After you left, I'd dream about you coming back for me, but you never did. Now that I've moved on, you're here. I'm sorry, Jason. You are my best friend, but that's it.”

  “But you're not talking to him,” he said, repeating something he'd already said.

  “I know that,” she said, “but I've felt things with him that I've never felt before, Jason, not even with you.”

  “Julie,” he said, as he set his fork down and looked into her eyes.

  “I can't help how I feel, Jason,” she said, as she closed her eyes for a moment. “Even if I'm not with him, I still can't be with you.”

  “But,” he began, but she cut him off.

  “When I got out of my car, I watched you on your phone for a good bit before I said anything. That's not what I want. If you truly loved me, you would have been waiting for me,” she said. “As bad as that sounds, it's true. I really feel that way. The worst part about it is that I'm pretty sure you were texting a woman.”

  “What?” he asked. “Why would you say that?”

  “Were you?” she asked.

  “Julie,” he said, in a rough tone.


  “Were you?” she asked again.

  “Not the way you think,” he said. “She's a friend of mine.”

  “Funny,” Julie said. “I bet if I looked in your messages, you've been busy texting lots of friends in the last week or so. You don't love me, Jason. You just don't want anyone else to either.”

  “That's not true,” he snapped.

  “Which part?” she asked.

  “Julie,” he said.

  “I do love you, Jason,” she said. “I just don't love you like that, not anymore. You deserve better than me. You deserve someone that's going to be right there every second. You deserve someone that's going to love you unconditionally. That's not me. You don't love me, not like you say you do. I need you to go back home.”

  “Seriously?” he asked.

  “Yes,” she answered. “I've got more on my plate than I can handle right now. I'm teaching a full load of classes, and I don't know if you know this, but I outbid my dad, my uncle, and Cody on a job, and I have to get it done, so that's what I do every minute that I'm not in a classroom.”

  “You outbid them all,” he said, in a shocked tone. “How did I not know this?”

  “I didn't tell you,” she said. “Just like you don't tell me everything anymore. It's a big deal. If I can pull it off, my stock will go up big time.”

  “If anyone can beat them all, it will definitely be you,” he said. “You like it here?”

  “I do,” she answered. “Even without him, I still like it here. This is where I belong.”

  “What happened to us?” he asked.

  “You moved on, so I did too,” she answered, as she reached across the table and took his hands in hers. “You'll always be my best friend though. Don't ever forget that.”

  “I don't know why I ever let you go,” he said.

  “Neither do I,” she said, with a laugh that had him laughing right along with her.

  “You're going to kill it,” he said. “I know you will.”

  “I sure hope you're right,” she said, and just like that, they were back to normal.

  Julie went back to school, and Jason headed for the airport. As much as it hurt to watch him leave, she knew it was what was best for both of them.

  As soon as she walked back into her classroom, she heard her phone ding, so she checked it.

  Cody: I'm trying to give you space, but I can't do it. I miss you so much, Julie. It's not what you think. Please talk to me. Just one conversation. Please. I'm not too proud to beg.

  Julie shoved her phone into her bag and moved on. She didn't plan to reply. Like one conversation would be enough for him to explain himself, she thought. No way! That was not happening.

  Between school and her project, Julie kept herself busy. Her tears were coming less and less. Jason either called or text each day. She enjoyed talking to him, but she rushed him off the phone each time so she could get back to work. When flowers showed up at her door from him, she didn't know what to think. Then she read the card, and her mind eased. He really was her best friend.

  For the first week, Cody sent two texts a day. She knew if she blew them off, they would stop, but they didn't. During the second week, he was sending them all through the day. He wasn't giving up, and she was more confused than ever. By the beginning of the third week, they were coming all day long, and they had grown. They weren't just tiny one liners anymore, not at all. Instead, they were whole paragraphs about work and life. Some even included pictures of him sitting in meetings, and others had her unable to hold back her laughter. He was something else.

  Julie had been so close to giving in and texting him back multiple times, but she didn't, and she was damn proud. It had taken all she had not to do it. With each new message, it was getting harder and harder, and she honestly wasn't sure how much longer she could hold out.

  Chapter 24

  Julie

  Thanksgiving morning came, and both Julie and Jessie were up early. They were staying home and cooking together. It was going to be a great day, at least that was what Jessie said each time Julie mentioned their parents. They were just getting ready to start cooking when Jessie realized they were missing a few things, so she got dressed and headed to the store.

  Julie was sitting on the couch, waiting for Jessie to come back, when she heard the ding of her phone.

  Cody: Happy Thanksgiving!

  Then she heard Jackie's cry, so she got up to go and get her. Once the little one was changed, Julie walked back into the living room. She wasn't even to the couch yet when she heard a knock at the door. If Jessie had gotten back, she would have used her key, so that only left one other person it could be.

  Julie walked over to the door with the baby in her arms. Without even looking, she swung the door open and spoke as she turned to walk away.

  “I thought I was pretty clear when I told you to leave me alone,” she said, as sternly as she could.

  No reply came, so she turned around, and her eyes went wide. Shit! It wasn't Cody at all. It was her parents. Feelings of disappointment and sadness filled her.

  “What are you two doing here?” she asked, feeling more nervous than she had in a very long time.

  “Both you and your sister have been avoiding us,” was all her mom said.

  Julie felt guilty the second her mother spoke. She turned around and walked over to the baby's swing and strapped the little one in. Then she turned back toward her parents.

  “Jessie will be home in a few minutes,” she said, as she headed for the kitchen, hoping with everything in her that they would both follow her. “We were getting ready to start cooking and realized we'd forgotten a few things. Gracie always makes cooking look so easy. Coffee?”

  “Yes,” her mom answered, as she let out a sigh.

  “That's not your baby,” her dad said, more as a comment than a question.

  “No,” Julie said, as she continued moving.

  She poured them each a cup of coffee before quickly grabbing her phone and sending Jessie a warning message. When she heard a ding come from the next room, she silently cursed her sister for leaving her phone behind.

  “How's Gracie and Gavin?” she asked, knowing she'd at least have a few seconds to try and pull herself together as one of her parents answered.

  What was she going to do, she wondered, as she looked at her mother? She'd lied to her. That was something she never did, and just thinking about it made her sad.

  “They're great,” her mom said, as a smile took over her face. “We didn't even know he was suffering, but she did. I'm so glad they found each other. Jack would be so proud of your brother and his sister. Gavin loves being at the station. I think it makes him feel closer to Jack, and I'm okay with that. I just want him to be happy, and he is.”

  “This is bullshit,” Julie's dad snapped out, cutting her mom off. “You're dating him just to piss me off, aren't you?”

  “What?” Julie asked, as she looked down at the time on her phone, still thinking about Jessie.

  “That asshole Cody,” her dad clarified. “You're just talking to him to irritate me, aren't you?”

  “Not everything is about you,” Julie snapped, and she watched his eyes narrow.

  “Listen,” he growled out.

  “No, you listen,” she growled right back, and that was the moment it hit her.

  What if Jessie was right? What if Cody was only thinking about getting to her father when he first met her? What if that had gone away that first day? What if he really did care about her? Shit! She'd done the same thing. When she first met him, she'd thought about how pissed she was at her dad. She'd thought about how upset it would make him to know she was talking to Cody, but that hadn't lasted long. Once she started talking to him, it wasn't about her father anymore. It was about him and the man he was.

  “Julie,” her dad said roughly, pulling her from her thoughts of Cody.

  “You didn't want me,” she said, in almost a whisper.

  “What?” he snapped. “What ar
e you talking about? That's crap and you know it.”

  “Is it?” she snapped back, feeling more pissed than she was before. “I did everything I could to prove myself to you, but you never gave a shit. All you cared about was Gavin. He was the one taking over the family business. It had always been that way, and no matter how hard I worked to show you that I was the one for that job, you never fucking noticed.”

  “Watch your mouth, young lady,” her dad growled out.

  “No,” she said, as she looked down at her phone again. “This is my apartment. I will speak the way I want. If you don't like it, you can turn around and go back home to your son. Where is he now?”

  “Julie,” her mom said, as she took a step toward her.

  “No,” Julie said. “This has to be said. I can't take it anymore.”

  “Okay,” her mom replied.

  “Okay?” her dad asked, narrowing his eyes at his wife.

  “Okay,” she said again.

  “Fine,” her dad let out with a huff. “What do you have to say?”

  “Since I was a little girl, I followed you around. I watched everything you did. I'd go to the office and sit in your chair, thinking about the day I'd be sitting there myself. I worked every single day in high school to prove my worth to you, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. I'd show you what I'd accomplished, and you'd say good job or some crap like that. Then you look over at Gavin as if he was the answer to everything.”

  “I did not,” her dad said.

  “Oh, you did,” Julie said. “I thought college would be the answer, even though I didn't need it. So, I went, and I put in the time. I developed some very cool stuff while I was there. I put every waking moment into my work. While everyone else was partying or dating, I was in my room, working to prove myself to you.”

  “Are you working for him?” Julie's dad blurted out.

  Julie let out a loud breath as she shook her head.

  “Would it matter?” she asked, as her phone dinged in her hand.

  “Would it matter?” he snapped. “Of course it would. You were supposed to work for me, for the family business.”