A Voice in the Wind

by Francine Rivers

  “Are there any new believers among us who would share their testimony?”

  Hadassah felt people glancing at her and blushed again, lowering her head, her heart beating fast and hard. Trophimus leaned over and patted her clasped hands paternally. “There, there,” he teased. “We expect no polished oratory. Only an encouraging word from a little sister who is new among us.”

  “Leave her be, Trophimus,” Eunice said in her defense. “We’re new to her. You said nothing for a full year.”

  “I’m always at a loss for words.”

  “I want to speak,” Hadassah said and rose. She looked shyly at those around her. “Forgive me if I stumble. It’s been so long since I’ve been able to speak freely among people who know God.” Her throat closed and she swallowed and prayed God would give her words and courage.

  “I am not new to the faith. My father told me of Jesus from the time I was born. He knew the Scriptures and taught me all he remembered of the Torah and the fulfillment of the prophets and God’s promises in Jesus. When I was very young, Father took me to the River Jordan and baptized me in the same place where John had seen the dove come down on Jesus and heard God’s voice say, ‘This is my Son, in whom I am well pleased.’”

  “Praise the Lord,” someone said.

  Asyncritus sat down slowly. “Your father knew the Lord when he walked on this earth?”

  Would they believe her if she told them the full truth? She looked around again, into each face so open and filled with anxious expectation. How could she not tell them when they so hungered for any word of their risen Lord?

  “My father was the only surviving son of a widow who lived in Jerusalem. When he was a young man, he was taken by fever and died. The Lord heard his mother weeping and came to comfort her. He touched my father and raised him from Sheol.”

  “Praise God,” several murmured raptly. An excited hum of whispers spread through the room and a man near the back stood excitedly, “What was your father’s name?”

  “Hananiah Bar-Jonah of the tribe of Benjamin.”

  “I have heard of him!” the man said to those around him. He looked at her again. “He had a small pottery shop in Galilee.”

  She nodded, unable to speak.

  “The man who brought me to the Lord met him many years ago,” another said.

  “Where is your father now?” someone else asked.

  “He is with the Lord.”

  There was a hush of reverent silence and Hadassah told them the rest. “We always went to Jerusalem during Passover to meet with other believers of the Way. Each year, we gathered in an upper room and my father told how Jesus fulfilled each of the elements of Passover. But the last time we went, a revolt had begun and the city was in chaos. Many of our friends left the city because of the persecution. My father wouldn’t go. And then, the zealots closed the gates and thousands were trapped. Father went out among his people. He never came back.”

  “And your family, little sister?” Eunice said, cupping Hadassah’s hand with her own. “What became of them?”

  Her voice trembled as she told them. She lowered her head, almost ashamed that she stood before them, the only survivor of her family, the least deserving of life. “I don’t know why the Lord spared me.”

  “Perhaps for this moment, little sister,” Asyncritus said solemnly. “Your words have encouraged me in a time of doubting.” His eyes were full of tears. “God answers our needs in all things.”

  Hadassah sat down again as others spoke of answered prayers and changed lives. Needs were mentioned and provisions made. Requests for prayer were raised and the names of brothers and sisters imprisoned or under threat mentioned.

  Hadassah rose again. “May I make a request also?” They encouraged her to do so. “Please pray for my masters, Decimus Vindacius Valerian, his wife, Phoebe, and their son, Marcus Lucianus. They are lost in a wilderness. Most of all, I beseech you to pray for my lady, Julia. She is on the road to destruction.”

  Chapter 22

  Hadassah returned to the villa spiritually replenished, unaware that disaster awaited.

  She heard Julia screaming when she entered the peristyle. Racing up the steps into the triclinium, she ran through it into the open corridor that led to her mistress’s chambers. A maid was crying hysterically outside Julia’s door.

  “He’s going to beat her to death. What are we going to do?”

  Julia’s screams propelled Hadassah to act without thought of consequences. When she grasped the door handle, the other maid was galvanized as well. She tried to stop her. “You can’t go in! He’ll kill you!”

  Hadassah shook her off, frantic to get to her mistress even as the other maid fled from the scene. When she entered the room, Julia was on the floor trying to scramble away from Urbanus as he whipped her. She screamed in pain as the whip tore the red fabric and reddened her skin.

  “Stop, my lord!” Hadassah cried out, but, enraged, he went after Julia again. Hadassah tried to block him, but he knocked her aside. She scrambled to get in his path again and Julia tried to scurry away. He hit Hadassah a stunning blow, knocking her from her feet. “Get out!” he bellowed, kicking her hard in the side before turning on Julia again. “I’m going to kill you, you foul witch. By all the gods, I swear it.”

  He cornered Julia and she cowered, covering her head with her arms and screaming as the whip came down across her back.

  Hadassah rose shakily, her vision blurred. Urbanus’ violence was like a malevolent presence in the room, and she heard Julia’s screams of terror and pain. Stumbling across the room, Hadassah threw herself over Julia to protect her. The bite of the whip made her gasp and flinch. Sobbing hysterically, Julia curled into a quivering ball beneath her.

  Enraged, Urbanus spent his fury on Hadassah. When lashing her failed to satisfy him, he overturned Julia’s desk, toppled a favored statue, and smashed her mirror. “I’m not done with you, Julia,” he said and left.

  Julia’s heart slowed. “He’s gone. Let me up.” Hadassah didn’t move. “Let me up before he comes back!” Julia struggled and Hadassah rolled to one side. Julia saw her face, ashen and still. “Hadassah!” Frightened, Julia put her ear near Hadassah’s parted lips. She was barely breathing. Gathering her maid into her arms, Julia wept. “You saved me from him,” she whispered, rocking her. She stroked the hair from her slave’s white face and kissed her brow. “You’ll be all right. You will.” She held her tightly and rocked her, the anger building inside her.

  No more. No more of this, Urbanus!

  The door opened slowly and a maid peered cautiously around the edge. Julia glared at her. “Where is my husband?” she said in a cold voice. The slave girl stood in the open doorway, another two behind her.

  “Master Caius has left the villa,” the first said.

  “And so now you come to my aid,” she said bitterly. “Coward. You’re all cowards!” She saw their fear of her. It was right that they fear her. Every slave in this household was going to the arena for leaving her at the mercy of Caius. She held Hadassah closer, stroking the hair back from her white face. Every one of them, except this one who had protected her. She could feel Hadassah’s warm blood soaking into the sleeve of her dress.

  Raising her head, she glared at the slaves standing in the doorway awaiting instructions. Cowards! Fools! They deserved death. She hated every one of them. “Come and see to her,” she ordered, and two rushed into the room and bent to take Hadassah. “Salt her wounds and bind them and keep her hidden from my husband.” She dug her fingernails into the arm of one of them. “If she dies, I’ll have the skin stripped from your backs. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, my lady,” she said quickly, terrified.

  “Hurry!” Julia knew she had to leave the villa before Caius returned. Until Caius spent his rage and found his reason, her life was in danger. If he couldn’t find her, he would have time to think and regain control of himself. Without pausing to change her tattered clothing, Julia drew a voluminous cloak aroun
d herself and fled into the night.

  She ran all the way to Calabah’s and pounded on her door. A handsome Greek slave admitted her. “Tell Calabah I’m here,” she said, standing just inside the door. He made no move to obey her, and she pushed him aside and entered the larger room where Calabah held her gatherings. “Tell Calabah I’m here,” she said again, eyes flashing.

  “Lady Calabah is occupied.”

  Julia turned and glared up at him. “This is a matter of grave importance.”

  “She said she wasn’t to be disturbed.”

  “She will understand!” she said, exasperated. “Stop just standing there and gawking at me and do as you’re told!”

  He left the room and Julia paced in agitation. She hugged the heavy cape around her, but could not ward off the chill that was seeping into her bones. The Greek returned after several long moments.

  “Lady Calabah will see you in her chambers in a few minutes, my lady.”

  “I have to see her now!” Julia brushed past him again impatiently. She came to an open doorway and saw a maid holding a light robe as Calabah stood naked beside the bed. “Oh,” she said and blushed. Calabah glanced toward her, her expression enigmatic. She seemed unembarrassed, standing with her arms slightly outstretched so the maid could drape a toga around her.

  “Another emergency, Julia?” she said ruefully, a hint of annoyance in her manner.

  Julia was dismayed at such a cool greeting. She never thought that Calabah would be angry with her over her cancellation. “I’m sorry I missed the play, Calabah. Caius forced me to go with him. There was simply nothing I could do—”

  “Nonsense,” Calabah said. “I’m growing very tired of your histrionics, Julia,” she said with weary patience. “What momentous thing happened to you this time that you felt impelled to interrupt my evening?”

  Julia entered the room and dropped the heavy cloak, turning so Calabah could see the tatters of her red palus and the welts on her back. She was satisfied to hear her gasp.

  “Caius did this to you?”

  “Yes,” Julia said. “He went mad tonight, Calabah. He would’ve killed me if Hadassah hadn’t intervened.”

  “Your maid?”

  “She threw herself over me and took the rest of the beating.” She started to weep again. “I think he’s killed her. She—”

  “Never mind your slave. Sit a moment and get control of yourself,” Calabah interrupted and led her to the bed. She put her hands on Julia’s trembling shoulders and forced her to sit. “I’ll have salve brought for your back.” She spoke with one of her slaves. Closing the door, she turned toward her. “Now tell me what happened to make Caius lose his temper so completely?”

  Tense, Julia got up. “Nereus told me yesterday how many thousands of sesterces Caius owed Anicetus. He said Caius has been trying to sell some of the investments Marcus made on my behalf, but couldn’t.”

  “Couldn’t?”

  “Apparently, Marcus arranged to be informed immediately upon the event of certain properties being placed on the market,” she said as she paced restlessly. “Caius knew Marcus would tell me what was going on. That left him in the position of trying to buy time until he could arrange for enough money to repay Anicetus.”

  She glanced at Calabah. “Anicetus had a birthday celebration this evening, and Caius insisted I go.” She stopped and shivered. “I’m cold, Calabah.” Calabah got her cloak and put it around her shoulders. Julia felt wretched.

  “Anicetus finds me beautiful,” she said. “He’s made his desire for me all too obvious. Caius was always jealous before and told me to sit as far away from him as possible so as not to encourage him. This evening, Caius wanted me to smile and flirt with that despicable cretin. He said Anicetus would be insulted if I didn’t attend his birthday celebration. Of course, after Nereus told me the truth, I knew why Caius was so insistent. He wanted Anicetus in a good mood when he pleaded for additional time to repay his debt.”

  She sat down on the bed again, her face rigid. “Well, his debt is canceled.”

  “Canceled,” Calabah said dully and turned away. She sighed heavily. “How did you manage that?”

  “I made arrangements with Anicetus.”

  “What sort of arrangements, Julia?”

  “I spent an hour entertaining him in his private chambers,” she said and immediately rebelled against the shame her admission caused. She came to her feet. “Caius has been unfaithful to me often enough!” she said defensively. “It’s time he knew what it felt like.”

  Calabah looked oddly pained. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

  “I enjoyed the look on Caius’ face while I smiled and flirted with Anicetus as he asked me to do. I enjoyed the look on his face when I left the feast without him. I enjoyed imagining what he was going through the entire time I was gone. Oh, yes, I enjoyed every minute of that.”

  “And it never once occurred to you that Caius would retaliate?”

  “I didn’t care!” Julia said and looked away as her eyes filled with tears. “But I’ve never seen him so enraged, Calabah. He was like a madman.”

  “You humiliated him before his peers.”

  Julia looked up angrily. “You’re defending him? After all the times he’s made me suffer?”

  “I wouldn’t think of defending him. I despise him for the things he’s done to you for his own pleasure. But think, Julia! You know Caius. You know his pride. You know his rages. He’ll kill you for this.”

  Julia paled. “Then I won’t go back.”

  “You’ll have to go back or lose everything.” Calabah sat down beside her and took her hand. She let out her breath slowly and squeezed Julia’s hand. “You’re going to have to protect yourself.”

  “But how?” Julia said, her eyes swimming in frightened tears.

  Calabah tipped Julia’s chin toward her and searched her eyes intently. “I’m going to tell you something I’ve never shared with anyone else. Can I trust you to keep my confidence?”

  Julia blinked as she stared into the depths of Calabah’s dark eyes. They seemed fathomless and mysterious, full of secrets. “Yes,” she said, trembling slightly.

  Calabah leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips. “I know you will.” She laid the palm of her hand lightly against Julia’s cheek, her eyes beautiful and mesmerizing. “I’ve known from the beginning you and I would be very close friends.” Her touch lingered briefly and then slid away, leaving Julia with a strange sensation of uneasiness.

  Calabah stood and moved gracefully away. “Everyone believes my husband Aurius died of apoplexy.” She turned and looked back at Julia, wanting to judge her reaction when she told her the truth. “In fact, I poisoned him.” She watched Julia’s eyes widen with surprise, but not disapproval. She was curious, wanting explanations, and Calabah continued.

  “Marriage to him had become intolerable. He was old and repulsive when I married him, but I remained a constant wife. I managed his financial affairs, his appointments, his estate matters. I gave him sound political advice. I rebuilt his dwindling fortune. Then, after one small indiscretion on my part, Aurius threatened to divorce me.”

  Calabah smiled cynically. “We live in a man’s world, Julia. Our husbands can commit adultery as often as desire comes upon them, but one offense on the part of a woman can cost her her life. Not that Aurius would have had the courage to threaten me with death. No, he hated me, but he was afraid, too. He used to say it was my intellect that made him fall in love with me, that and my sensuality. Later, he was threatened by both.” She gave a soft, cold laugh. “All he said was he wanted to be free again. Had he been, he would have destroyed everything I’d built. He would have left me with nothing for all my effort, and Roman law would’ve blessed his right to do so.”

  She looked at Julia. “His death was quick and merciful. I didn’t want him to feel any pain. I planned a feast and entertainment. Those who were present the evening Aurius died were convinced he’d had a brain seizure.” Her mouth curved
. “I arranged for a physician to confirm their supposition, in case questions arose later. None did.”

  Calabah sat down beside Julia again. “Of course, your situation is different. Caius is young. You’d have to use something slower acting in order for his death to appear natural. There are little-known poisons that cause high fevers very similar to the ones so common around Rome during the flood season these days.” She took Julia’s hand. It was cold and clammy. “You’re afraid. I understand. Believe me, I was, too, but after all he’s put you through, and with the way he now threatens you, what choices have you? I know an old woman who served Augustus Caesar’s wife, Livia. She has great knowledge and can help us.”

  “But must I murder him?” Julia said, pulling her hand away and rising. She wanted to flee.

  “Is it murder to defend yourself? Do you know what becomes of a woman without family and connections? She’s destitute and at the mercy of a very cruel world. Aurius held a sword over my head, and I chose to fight back.”

  Julia felt faint and dizzy. “Isn’t there another way?” she said shakily and touched her forehead, feeling beads of perspiration break out.

  Calabah let the silence fill the room for several moments before she spoke again. She knew all of Julia’s weaknesses, and now was the time to use them. “You could go to your mother and father and tell them what’s happened.”

  “No, I couldn’t do that,” Julia said quickly.

  “Your father has power and influence. Tell him how Caius has beaten you and let him crush him.”

  “You don’t understand, Calabah. My father would demand to know why my husband beat me. He thinks I’m to blame for Claudius’ death. If he found out about Anicetus, he wouldn’t take my side.”

  Satisfied, Calabah moved to Julia’s next ally. “What about your mother?”

  “No,” Julia said, shaking her head. “I don’t want her to know about any of this. I don’t want her to think ill of me.”