Killer Campaign (Lisa Chance Cozy Mysteries Book 3)

by Estelle Richards

  “Where should I put these?” Tess said.

  “Hmm,” Lisa said, thinking. “Is anyone using Brett’s old office?”

  “No?” Tess said, looking confused.

  “Good. We’ll put this stuff in there,” Lisa said.

  They piled the yard signs and the little boxes of bumper stickers in the empty office. Lisa looked around and shivered, remembering the last time she was in Brett’s office, when she was trying to buy the Folly. Could it really have been just the previous year? It felt like much longer.

  “Tess, do you ever play poker?” Lisa said. “You seem like you could have a really great poker face.”

  “Um, no? Not really? My cousins taught me how when I was a kid, though,” Tess said.

  “Ok. Well, thanks for the help with the boxes and stuff,” Lisa said. “I owe you a coffee.”

  Chapter 21

  The next morning Lisa’s phone rang before dawn, waking her up. She fumbled to grab the irritating gadget, noting that she was missing out on those precious last ten minutes of sleep.

  “Hello?” she mumbled.

  “We have a problem,” her mother’s voice thundered.

  Lisa held the phone away from her ear and stabbed at the icon for the speakerphone setting. Mama Cat flicked her tail at the noise in the room.

  “What’s wrong, Mom?”

  Lisa yawned. Mama Cat opened her eyes and yawned, too, showing the world her spiny little pink tongue.

  “The yard signs! The printer claims we picked them up yesterday, and the bumper stickers, too. Which is clearly nonsense, as they’re not here,” Penny said. “We’re supposed to put them up in supporters’ yards this morning, but how can we do that without the signs?”

  “Wait, they’re gone?” Lisa said. She stroked a hand over Mama Cat’s fur, getting a purr in response.

  “Gone! I should have called ahead,” Penny grumbled.

  “Called ahead? Where are you?” Lisa said.

  “At the print shop, of course! I can’t believe I drove all the way to Flagstaff.”

  “Mom, of course they’re not at the print shop. I dropped them off at your office yesterday. Didn’t Tess tell you?”

  There was a long pause, and then Penny said, “Hold on a moment,” and put her hand over the phone. Lisa could hear her apologizing to someone in the background.

  “No, Tess didn’t tell me,” Penny said when she took her hand off the phone again. “I didn’t see them in my office last night.”

  “We put them in the empty office. Brett’s old office,” Lisa said.

  “I see,” Penny said with a sigh. “That really would have been useful information for Tess to give me. I’m on my way back to Moss Creek. Get dressed and I’ll pick you up.”

  “What? I can’t go out. I have to open the café,” Lisa said, sitting up in alarm.

  “I need to deliver these yard signs,” Penny said. “And you’re my campaign manager.”

  “Volunteer campaign manager,” Lisa said. “And I never promised to let my business go.”

  “Very well,” Penny said. “How is the planning coming along?”

  “Uh, which planning?”

  “For the debate, of course!” Penny said.

  “Am I planning that?” Lisa said. “I thought that was some kind of city thing.”

  “Of course you’re planning it! What did we talk about the other day? Lisa, you’re really not taking this as seriously as I’d hoped you would,” Penny said.

  “I’m not taking this seriously? Maybe you’re the one who should take it more seriously. As in seriously enough to hire a professional to manage your campaign!”

  Lisa stabbed at the icon to hang up and flopped back down on her bed. She looked at the time and groaned. Time to get up already. Lisa turned off the ringer and went to take a shower.

  As the hot water sluiced over her body, warming her up and coaxing her mind into full wakefulness, Lisa realized what she’d just said to her mother. Had she really just quit? Anxiety settled in her stomach like a bag of marbles.

  The anxiety rumbled around in her stomach as she dried her hair and got dressed. Going downstairs to open the café, she found herself clenching her teeth, going over the conversation in her head again. It wasn’t fair of Penny to assume her daughter could drop everything without notice, but it wasn’t fair of Lisa to quit without notice either.

  Lisa would have to apologize and go back to the campaign. The election was right around the corner; she could stick it out.

  After starting the first pot of coffee brewing, Lisa walked around the café switching on lights and straightening tables and chairs. At 6 a.m. on the dot, she flipped the sign around to say Open and unlocked the front door.

  The door immediately banged open and Olivia stormed inside, beaded fringe swinging on her sleeves with a clicking noise as the beads collided with each other.

  Olivia pointed a finger in Lisa’s face.

  “I can’t believe you would do this,” she said, “to your own mother, and to the town of Moss Creek! Do you know what will happen if Penny loses that election? The Valentine regime will be put back into power!”

  “Aunt Olivia, I—”

  “Don’t you try to butter me up with your delicious muffins or a vanilla latte, young lady,” Olivia interrupted. “The Valentine machine is the face of corporate greed and corruption in Moss Creek. I thought you were on the side of right! I thought you cared about nature! But no. You only care about yourself.”

  “Aunt Olivia, I—”

  “I can’t believe you would come to this. Breaking your mother’s heart—again, might I add—and letting those horrible Bargain Box people come and ruin our town! They’ll run the small stores out of business first, but don’t think it won’t eventually hit you where you live, young lady, because it will! Bargain Box is a nature-killer and it’s a town-killer, and you should be ashamed to be in their pocket.”

  “Aunt Olivia!”

  Olivia drew back, eyes wide. “You don’t have to yell at me,” she said.

  “I was trying to tell you I’m not quitting. I was just tired and cranky and frustrated with Mom,” Lisa said.

  “Oh,” Olivia said. She nodded. “Penny can be a very frustrating person, it’s true. But I’m glad those Bargain Box people didn’t get to you.”

  “Of course not,” Lisa said. “But were you serious that you didn’t want a muffin or a latte?”

  “A vanilla latte,” Olivia corrected.

  “Coming right up,” Lisa said with a smile.

  When Lisa came back with the muffin and coffee, she found that another customer had come in.

  Olivia was standing toe to toe with Ryan Regent, yelling in his face.

  “People like you are ruining this country! How can you sleep at night? You are scum! You are—”

  “Aunt Olivia, please,” Lisa said. She edged into the space in front of her aunt and gave her a sweet smile. “Would you like to take your order to go? Or can you remain on the premises without harassing my other customers?”

  “He’s no customer, he’s a leech!” Olivia spat.

  “To go, then,” Lisa said.

  “I was leaving anyway. Don’t forget to call your mother,” Olivia said. She threw another dirty look at Ryan before turning on her heel and walking out.

  “I’m sorry about that,” Lisa said. “I don’t know what’s come over people lately.”

  “No worries,” he said.

  “Ryan, wasn’t it?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Plain coffee?” Lisa said. “Or can I convince you to try a muffin this time?”

  “I think I’ll take you up on that,” Ryan said.

  “You got it.”

  When Lisa returned with his order, Ryan had taken a seat in a corner of the front parlor, facing the door.

  “Here you are. Do I remember right, you said you were here in town on business?” Lisa said.

  “Yes.” Ryan began unwrapping the muffin, one crinkle of the paper
at a time.

  “Does Bargain Box mind you breaking the law when you travel on business?”

  He looked up at her. “Excuse me?”

  “The gambling thing, with the mayor,” Lisa pressed. “You were caught up in that, too.”

  Ryan rose from his seat. “I believe I’ll also take my order to go,” he said.

  Lisa followed him to the door. “Do you have any idea who tipped off the police?”

  He ignored her and stepped out onto the porch.

  “Are you looking for another game in town?” she said.

  He turned back to look at her. “Do you know one?”

  “I might,” she hedged.

  “Take my card. I’d be very interested to hear more about that.”

  “Are you sure you have to go?” she said, pocketing the business card.

  “No rest for the wicked,” he said. With a smile, he stepped off the porch and went to his car.

  Lisa stepped back inside and took out his card, studying the glossy face with its raised type. Ryan Regent, Location Specialist, Bargain Box Corporation. She tucked the card back into her apron pocket and went back to the kitchen to work on the soup of the day for lunch.

  Chapter 22

  Lisa peeled the backing off a bumper sticker and eyeballed Mo’s truck’s bumper.

  “Does this look straight?” she said.

  “Yep,” Mo said.

  “Want to give the bumper another swipe with the rag?” she said.

  “I don’t think it needs it,” he said. After a glance at her face, he added, “But I’m happy to do it if you think it does.”

  He wiped the bumper’s surface with a damp rag, then dried it with a paper towel.

  “I think it’s ready,” Mo said.

  “Here goes nothing,” Lisa said.

  She leaned in and slowly applied the sticker to the bumper. When she stood up and backed up a step, her face fell. It was not quite straight. Lisa sighed.

  “It’s crooked,” she said.

  Mo folded his arms and stood back next to her, studying the bumper. “It looks fine to me,” he said.

  “It is definitely crooked,” Lisa insisted.

  He put his arm around her shoulder. “Ready to put the other one on?”

  “I don’t know if I should try to make this one straight or if I should try to make it match the other one. Or have it tilt the opposite direction and mirror it,” Lisa said.

  “Or you might be overthinking it,” Mo suggested.

  Lisa sighed. “It’s nice of you to put both Mom’s stickers on your truck,” she said.

  “I want to get in good with the boss,” he joked.

  “Ok, here goes.” Lisa knelt down to apply the second sticker to the other end of the bumper.

  “Looks great,” Mo said before she could step back to study it.

  “Hmm.”

  “It’s nice. And you came up with good stickers,” he added.

  “You really think so?” she said, smiling shyly.

  “I do.”

  The sticker on the left was the traditional one. It said, “Penny Baldwin-Chance for Mayor.” The sticker on the right was an idea Lisa had after reading a text message. It said, “PBC 4 MC.”

  “Thanks,” Lisa said. “What do you want to do tonight? Want to go into Flagstaff and catch a movie?”

  “Sure,” he said. “Action movie or romantic comedy?”

  “Whatever’s playing next,” Lisa said.

  They got in the truck to head for the movie theater.

  “Mind if I turn this up?” Lisa said, hand on the heater control.

  “That’s what it’s for,” Mo said, smiling.

  “I’m just glad you finally got it fixed.”

  The fading light of dusk painted the patches of snow in the ditches with streaks of glittering gold. Long shadows of pine trees marched to the horizon. The heater kicked in and started spewing hot air into the truck’s cabin.

  “How’s the campaign going?” Mo said. “You’ve got the signs and stickers—that’s pretty much it, right?”

  “Ugh,” Lisa said, “I wish. Mom doesn’t want to spend money but she wants me to magic up the results of spending money. I’m supposed to plan some kind of candidate debate. I don’t know where to do it. I don’t know how. I don’t know who to talk to. I feel like I’m in over my head, and everywhere I turn I’m at risk of letting Mom down. Again.”

  Mo slowed the truck, turned off the road and parked.

  “Are you sure a night at the movies is the best use of time? Why don’t we go work on this debate thing?” he said. “Together.”

  “Really? Please tell me you know something about how to put together a political campaign,” Lisa said.

  “I did help my college roommate run for student-body president.”

  “Did he win?”

  “No,” Mo admitted. “But he had the entire Greek system behind him, so it was kind of impressive that Kip got even the small percentage of the votes that he did.”

  “Oh.”

  “I’m sure that between the two of us, we can figure something out. We can at least come up with a time and place for this debate.”

  Lisa heaved a giant sigh. “Thank you. I didn’t realize how stressed out I was about this. Should we go back to the Folly?”

  “Or we could go to my place,” Mo said. “Your choice.”

  Lisa considered for a moment. Mo’s little house wasn’t untidy, but it had a permanent odor of hamsters.

  “The Folly, please,” she said. “But we should still have snacks.”

  Back at the Folly, Lisa popped up a giant batch of popcorn and put a ton of butter on it. She made huge mugs of hot cocoa and tossed a generous handful of marshmallows in each. Only then did she feel ready to sit down and start brainstorming the debate logistics with Mo.

  They made themselves comfortable on the couch in the living room, snacks on the side tables and an assortment of office supplies on the coffee table. Mo tossed a piece of popcorn in his mouth.

  “This is good. Very buttery,” he said.

  Mama Cat padded into the living room and jumped on the couch, rubbing up against Mo’s arm.

  “Hello, gorgeous kitty,” he said, giving her some ear scratches.

  Mama Cat kneaded the couch a few times and curled up in between Lisa and Mo, purring softly.

  “First thing, how much time do we have?” Mo said.

  “Two weeks from Tuesday,” Lisa said. “Why do they have elections on Tuesdays, anyway?”

  Mo shrugged. “Ok, two weeks from Tuesday gives us sixteen days to work with.”

  “Wouldn’t it be seventeen?” Lisa said, counting on her fingers.

  “I’m not counting Election Day itself,” Mo said.

  “Oh, ok. Sixteen days. Time to panic?” Lisa said.

  “No time left to panic,” Mo said. “There’s only time to work. What venues in town might be suitable for a debate?”

  “There’s City Hall, of course. The high school has an auditorium. The elementary school has the gym or the cafeteria,” Lisa said. “I guess the high school has a gym and a cafeteria, too.”

  “Those are all good possibilities,” Mo said. “But they are all government facilities. What if they won’t agree to host, or more likely what if the red tape is too much to get one of them in time?”

  Lisa put her chin in her hand. “I guess there are various private spaces in town. I doubt the Valentine camp would agree to a debate here at the café, even though the carriage house would probably fit what we’d need. There’s Nero’s, I guess. Um, the pool hall. St. Mary’s, although I guess that brings up the whole separation of church and state question.”

  “I doubt anyone would object to holding a debate in a church hall.”

  Lisa shrugged. “I hope not, but you’ve seen the kinds of things Aunt Olivia’s friend will protest.”

  “Hmm, true. Let’s start with the public facilities first and treat the private facilities as a backup option. Do you have a date p
icked for the debate?”

  “No. I know Mom will be available whenever we set things up, but who knows about Valentine?” Lisa said.

  Mo took a long sip of cocoa.

  “We don’t know when Valentine will be available, and we don’t know when a venue will be available, so how am I supposed to plan this and make it work?” Lisa said. “Everything needs to work together like a perfect machine, with all the cogs lining up, but I can’t put one cog in place until the other one is in place but I can’t put the other one in without knowing the status of the first one—it’s impossible!”

  Mo set the cocoa down and put his hand on the back of Lisa’s neck. In gentle swirling motions, he massaged her tense muscles.

  “We just have to pick something,” he said.

  “Just pick something? What if I pick the wrong thing?” Lisa moaned.

  “Then we go down the list to the next alternative.” Mo continued rubbing her neck, gradually easing a little bit of the tension.

  Lisa sighed.

  “City Hall,” she said. “That’s my first choice for a location.”

  “Good. Now let’s pick a backup choice. What do you think about the high school auditorium?” Mo said.

  An idea marched across Lisa’s brain, dressed in a high school band uniform. “I changed my mind,” she said. “None of the above.”

  “Oh?”

  “The high school band room. I’m sure my dad can get them to agree. He’s a legend over there,” she said excitedly.

  Mo nodded.

  “The space is big enough for a decent crowd but won’t look ridiculous if we don’t get a huge turnout,” she went on. “The acoustics are good. I mean, it is a music room. They even have a PA system for the band director to address the musicians, so we can get everyone mic’ed up. The seating is on risers, so everyone gets a good view. It’s perfect!”

  Lisa’s grin spread across her face.

  “Great idea! See, I knew you could do it,” Mo said.

  “I just had to stop being afraid to look at the problem,” Lisa admitted.

  “Fear is the mind killer,” Mo intoned.

  Lisa munched on a handful of popcorn and listened to Mo recite the Litany Against Fear from his favorite book, Dune.

  “Ok, I’m going to call my dad and ask him to get us that room,” Lisa said.