The Banks of Certain Rivers

by Harrison, Jon

  “Mrs. Mackie, I was at that party when the first one got posted. The guys I was with didn’t know anything about the fight then, the reason for it I mean. We just thought it would be funny. We didn’t think people would believe it. We didn’t even think that many people would see. Then it got out of hand, it was just that first night and it was going around like crazy, crazy how many views it was getting. So I made them take it down. I thought if they took it down it would be over. But then a second video got made, I wasn’t around for that one. It was just as bad, I mean, just as bad for how fast people were sending the link around. And the second video looked more real than the first. The second one got way out of control.”

  “We put the digital shake filter on the second one,” Laptop Kid says. He sounds almost proud of it.

  “Cody?” Peggy asks. “Did you have anything to do with the video? Other than being in it? You didn’t make it, did you?”

  Cody Tate shakes his head no.

  “Did you have anything to do with actually posting the video online?”

  Another shake of the head.

  “You told me the video was real. You swore up and down to me that was how things happened that afternoon. More than once. You told the same thing to Officer Tran. Why didn’t you speak up about it?” Cody Tate’s chin, I can see across the room, is trembling, and his father looks livid. “Can you tell me anything about this?”

  “He was going to get a beat down for real if he ratted them out,” a teen voice says, and another voice follows saying, “Dude! Shut up!”

  “Wait, who’s ‘them’?” Peggy asks. “In this room? Cody, did someone threaten you about what the consequences might be if you told the truth?” Cody Tate’s father says something too low for the rest of the room to hear, and Cody, really shaking now, looks up at Peggy and nods.

  “There was that,” Cody says in a barely audible voice. “But they had the real video of me hitting Mr. K. They said if I told anyone what really happened they’d show the real video and I’d be in—”

  “Big trouble,” Peggy says in a measured voice. “You think you aren’t in big enough trouble now? You could have saved everyone here a ton of trouble if you’d just spoken up.” Peggy shakes her head. “Mr. Kazenzakis most of all.” Stu Lepinski leans to say something into Peggy’s ear, and Peggy rolls her eyes.

  “We need a little time to discuss this,” Gracie says. “Can you all step out into the hallway? Everyone, please?”

  “Neil, stay here,” Peggy says. Lauren takes a step toward the door, and I shake my head.

  “No,” I say. “Don’t go.” Gracie Adams gives Lauren a look, and I add: “She’s here with me.”

  The kids and parents file out of the room, and one of the Tate family lawyers grabs my elbow and says, “Can we talk with you about this after?” Pete Tran remains behind along with the union guy, and Kent Hughes tries to stay too. Peggy thumbs toward the exit and says, “Out of here, Hughes.” Kent leaves, and Peggy closes the doors behind him.

  “Neil,” Peggy says. “I am very sorry. About all of this.” Stu Lepinski whispers something to her again, and Peggy says, “Stu, the guy got screwed over. We can apologize to him, don’t you think? We owe him an apology.”

  “Mr. Kazenzakis,” Gracie says, insisting on speaking into her microphone in spite of the fact I’m standing five feet in front of her. “You are aware, I’m sure, that you didn’t follow the correct procedure for dealing with a physical altercation between students?”

  “Are you kidding me?” I say, and Pete Tran actually laughs.

  “Gracie, seriously,” Peggy says. “Look, for Mr. Kazenzakis, this is done. Neil, come back to work next week. Take this week off, and come back Monday. If you’re going to sue the district, have your lawyer talk to Stu. I really hope you don’t sue the district, because we like working with you, and we like having you here. We did what we had to do given the situation. I think you understand that.”

  “Of course I do,” I say.

  Gary-whatever, the union rep who up until now has been sitting behind me, gets to his feet. “I think the union’s going to want to have some input on—”

  “You guys hash it out,” I say, cutting him off with a wave of my hand. “I don’t need to deal with it. To tell you the truth, I think anything I try to say right now is going to be nonsense, because I am completely exhausted.”

  “I bet you are,” Peggy says.

  “Are we done?” I ask. I look at them, and they look at each other. “Keep the substitute for the rest of this week,” I say. “I’ll be in on Monday. Kevin Hammil can cover girls’ cross-country until I’m back. I’m sure he’s been doing a fine job at it.”

  “We’ll see you in a week,” Peggy says, and I take Lauren’s hand and start for the door. “Gracie, do you have anything?”

  “Nothing for him. We need to discuss what’s going to happen with everyone out in the hall—”

  “Wait,” I say, stopping at the edge of the chairs. “One thing. Do what you have to do with Cody Tate, but don’t expel any of those kids, okay? Especially not the seniors. What they did was stupid, but that’s all it was. Most of those guys are going to college, I don’t want any of them screwed up just for being stupid. Okay?”

  “Mr. Kazenzakis, beyond the video, which was bad enough on its own, there was a fair amount of deceit going on here. Intimidation. They coordinated their stories—”

  “Of course they did,” I say. “They’re kids. They didn’t want to get in trouble. They got into their stories, and the longer they went, the deeper it got. Trust me, I understand this. More than you know. I also understand you need to discipline them, but don’t expel any of them.” I pause. “Here’s what you can do. Just have them post the original video with an apology. That’s all I want.”

  “Neil,” Peggy says, “you have to remember that some of these kids were physically threatening Cody Tate if he said anything. A threat of violence something we have to take seriously.”

  “I understand,” I say. “You get to the bottom of that part of it. If they broke the law, do what you need to do. But the ones who were just involved with the video, even that jackass who did the editing, go easy on them, okay? Go easy on Steve Dinks. That’s all I’m asking you. Will you consider it while you figure everything out?”

  “We will, Mr. Kazenzakis,” Gracie Adams says. Strangely, she looks like she means it.

  All the kids out in the hallway turn to watch as Lauren and I leave the room. Leland nods, and Steve Dinks approaches us. I’m so drained by exhaustion I feel like I could fall to the floor.

  “Mr. K.,” he says, keeping his eyes level with mine. “I was telling the truth in there. I didn’t mean for it to get out of control like that. I don’t think any of us did. I’m really sorry.” He holds out his hand—a big move for such a young guy—and I shake it.

  “Thank you, Steve,” I say. “I appreciate you speaking up.”

  I really do.

  Christopher is in the kitchen when we get home, and he freezes in the middle of whatever it is he’s doing over the stove when we enter from the garage.

  “Well?” he asks.

  “Everything’s fine. The video was fake.”

  “I told you!” Chris says, pumping a fist. “It was so fake. Are the people who did it busted?”

  “Pretty much,” I say. “I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.”

  “Oh, Neil,” Lauren says. “You look so tired. Go sit. Sit. I’ll stay and help Chris, if he’d like me to.” Christopher nods.

  “Sure,” I say. “Okay.” I hang my jacket on the front closet doorknob and kick off my shoes, then sink into my couch and close my eyes for what feels like an age. I hear low voices from the kitchen; Lauren filling Chris in on the board meeting, I’m imagining. I keep my eyes shut as someone drops to the couch next to me; I can tell by the sound it’s my son.

  “So they’re really busted?” he asks. “Who was it? Do I know any of them?”

  “I didn’t really know any
of them. Well, Steve Dinks was one of them.”

  “Oh man, that so figures. I should—”

  “You should not do anything. Just let it go. I’m sure his dad will deal with it just fine.”

  “But, Dad—”

  “Chris, really. It’s done. I’m home, you’re home. We’re all good here, right?”

  “Yeah,” he says. “We’re good.”

  “How’s it going with Lauren?” I ask, lowering my voice just a little.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, here she is. In our house. Is it weird?”

  “What’s weird is how not weird it is. If that makes any sense. I didn’t realize she was so cool.”

  “I should have told you sooner.”

  “Yeah, you should have. But, whatever. We’re all good now. Really.”

  “What are you making for dinner? It smells good. Spicy maybe?”

  “Just wait, Dad. It’s a surprise.”

  My eyes remain closed, and Christopher heads back to the kitchen to resume his work with Lauren. I’m so close to dozing off, so close, but my brain is half tuned-in to the banter coming from the other room.

  “So next step, you’re supposed to flip it, but I always blow this part.”

  “Here, watch. You do it like this, back and forward, and the wrist like…taadaa.”

  “Oh my God, how did you do that? How do you make it look so easy?”

  “I can do it with my left hand too. Watch.”

  “How are you so good at that?”

  “My little brother is a sous chef in Pittsburgh.”

  “No way?”

  My phone rings from the pocket of my hanging sport coat, and I will myself to my feet to grab it. It’s Leland.

  “Neil,” he says.

  “Yes?”

  “Peggy Mackie told me what you said to them.”

  I blink. “What I said to them? What I said about what?”

  “The board. About not expelling the kids.”

  “Well, I meant it. I don’t think what they did quite rises to the level of expulsion. It was maybe more stupid than malicious. I was kind of surprised to see you guys there—”

  “Steve was acting weird all week. Really weird when I asked him if he knew anything about what was going on. When we got back last night, he told me what was up, how he was there when the thing got rolling. I told him he needed to do whatever he could to make it right.”

  “That was pretty big of him to speak up like he did tonight.”

  “He did that on his own,” Leland says. “I’m surprised you’re not more angry about all this, Neil.”

  “You know, compared to everything else, the video thing is pretty minor. It’s just not that big a deal to me at the moment. Chris is okay, he’s home. That’s all I need to think about. And on top of everything, I’m dead tired. Maybe I’ll have some energy to be angry about it after I get some sleep. Let me get back to you later about being angry. Maybe tomorrow I’ll find it in me to be pissed.”

  “I just wanted to say thank you.”

  “No, shut up. I should be thanking you, Lee. For the plane. For all your help. That was a big deal.”

  “It was nothing. If something was up with Steve, you’d have done the same.”

  I tell Leland we should talk again soon, and I mean it. Not about real estate, not about bickering. We should catch up. He agrees.

  I put the phone on the floor by my feet, and I close my eyes and listen:

  “I don’t get how you do it.”

  “Watch me again. Back, forward, flip with the wrist. Here. Do it. Just like…you did it! See? Easy.”

  “Sweet. Let me do it again. Sweet! Dad, I flipped something in a pan!”

  With my eyes closed, I smile and nod. They cook together, and they laugh. I cannot help but smile as I hear it. They are together, I am part of them, and in my home something is complete.

  I will remember this, precisely as it happened, for a long, long time.

  Neil my love,

  I was so so so sad you couldn’t make it to my graduation party but I understand how that stuff goes. And hey I couldn’t get to yours either so I guess we’re even right? But it doesn’t really matter now because it's only five more weeks (well four weeks and five days but I haven’t been counting REALLY) before a certain family comes to stay at a certain beach house and a certain boy will be with that family. Do you have a guess who that boy might be? I bet you do. I think I like being with him very much.

  Speaking of the beach house my dad was doing work on it and he offered me five dollars an hour (WOW) to help him paint inside and when I was inside of course I had to think of the times we spent there (like the “ice storm” event HA HA) and when you came up for spring break (I promise promise promise the next time we do that I will be 100% better at it and I will be perfect and wonderful for you like you are perfect and wonderful for me and it will be the most incredible thing either of us have experienced. Okay? It’s a deal.) Did your parents even have a clue that you came up here? I was scared my parents would see your mom’s car in town and we would get in trouble but I guess I was just being paranoid.

  Oh guess what in the news a boat sunk just outside of PM! It was a fishing boat for tourists and it sunk in less than two minutes the paper said but everyone was okay because other boats were close and got everyone out of the water. My dad knows the guy who the boat belongs (belonged?) to and said he wasn’t surprised that the boat sunk which I thought was pretty funny.

  I am still waiting for MSU to send me the housing stuff for my dorm. Kelly Kramer from track is going there too and we are going to try to be roommates. It's funny because we were never really friends even though I have known her since she moved here in 3rd grade but last year on track we got really close and now I am excited to live with her. CRAZY. Most of all I hope you and I end up in the same dorm complex so I can see you as frequently as possible!

  My graduation party was mostly a lot of fun. Again I was SAD that you weren’t there but I guess you know that and I don’t need to tell you again right? We had the party at the beach house my mom decorated it and Uncle Art and my cousins showed up (surprise!) and Uncle Art gave me a check for $200!!!! My dad had a guy come to play music which is not like him AT ALL but it was really fun. We had a bonfire and things got a little crazy because after the adults went to bed Tim Smith (I told you about him) showed up with a bunch of guys who had all been at another party where there had been drinking and Tim had three cases of beer in his car so everyone on the beach started drinking (yes me included) and things got crazy Tim and these two other boys were trying to jump over the fire and Kelly threw up next to someone’s car and I had to find a place for her to lie down. It was like a college party even though I have no idea what one is like but I guess we’ll find out soon enough.

  Tim kept talking to me which I thought was weird because he’s had the same girlfriend for nearly two years and he knows how I feel about you. A couple times he tried to put his arm around me but I asked him “where’s your girlfriend Tim?” and he would feel guilty and stop. But then he kept doing it and it was just easier to let him after a while. This is the part I feel really bad about and I am scared you will hate me but I need to write it out and I don’t even know if I’ll send this but at least I will write it down and see how I feel about it. I walked up the beach with Tim and he kept his arm around me and I didn’t tell him to stop. Then when we got to where the Little Jib River lets out we started kissing and I asked him to stop so we sat down but we started kissing again. I always thought of Little Jib as OUR place but it was so strange and I don’t know why I even let us go there or why once we were there I didn’t make him stop when he started to kiss me again. I felt so terrible I still feel terrible but I was curious I guess and I didn’t stop. He wanted to do some of the other things too and we sort of did but only a couple of them (not any of the bad bad ones those things are ONLY for you) but I felt so horrible I got up and said I had to go home.

  God I
feel awful about this I just needed to write it down. I don’t know if I ever can send this. I don’t even like him and I don’t know why I did any of that. I love you so much and the only thing I want is to be with you at MSU and be your girlfriend and have you be my boyfriend and we can do everything and be happy. I’m scared if I send this none of that would happen and my life would be empty and nothing because I know in my heart you are the only one I will ever truly love. I know that sounds ridiculous and some people say you’re too young how could you even know? But I do know and the weird part is that what happened with Tim Smith makes me know it even more.

  Maybe I will never send this. I don’t have the courage. But if I do send it I hope you have the courage to forgive me.

  I love you so much. I know I say it so much but I love you. Please please don’t hate me if I send this and you read it.

  Your love

  (and favorite running/sailing/everything else partner sorry I had to say it and if you hate me don’t ever forget that part at least)

  Wendy

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Theodore Hamilton Kazenzakis arrives in the spring, on May the nineteenth. Just shy of seven pounds in weight, he mews like a kitten after he’s born, and struggles to latch onto his mother’s breast.

  “What do I do?” Lauren whispers to the midwife, crying in amazement at this thing that’s just happened, this tiny life she’s just produced and is now holding against her bare chest. She’s asking for advice on getting him to nurse, but the midwife takes a broader view.

  “First you love him,” she says, stroking the back of the newborn’s head with her fingers. “And everything else will fall into place.”

  Like his father, my new son has a mouthful of a name. Hamilton is Lauren’s middle name, a family name, and Theodore….

  Let’s just say my father is thrilled.