The Missing

by Beverly Lewis

  “I know what you mean.” Grace headed on toward the house with a bright smile and cheerful wave. “Good-bye.”

  Heather nodded and continued toward the road, wondering why Grace seemed so consistently happy. Is the Plain life really so carefree?

  Much as she enjoyed Heather’s company, Grace was set on visiting Becky. Her friend’s reaction to seeing Yonnie next to her in Martin’s van had plagued her all afternoon, and Grace hoped the tension between herself and Becky could be talked away. Oh, I hope so!

  Taking a deep breath, she rapped on the screen door instead of walking in as she often did. Marian called to her—“Come on in, Gracie”—before Becky even turned to acknowledge her from across the kitchen. “Come have a whoopie pie before supper,” Marian said, a smudge of chocolate on her dress sleeve.

  “Denki, but we’ve already eaten,” Grace said as she opened the screen door. Truth was, snacks of any kind were the last thing she wanted as she looked at Becky’s sour face. She bit her lip, wondering how she’d ever get the chance to talk to her friend alone, what with Marian’s ongoing cleanup and supper preparations. Grace looked for a way to assist, going to the counter and reaching for a dirty cookie sheet. “Can I help redd up, maybe?”

  “Oh, would ya mind?” Marian removed her soiled apron. “Someone needs to get to the hen house and gather eggs.” And just that quick, she was heading for the back door, her bare feet padding across the floor.

  Becky ran the hot water at the sink, her back stiffly turned.

  “I can’t stay long,” Grace said. “Mandy’s doin’ dishes, and I need to get back soon. Here lately I’ve missed one too many cleanups.”

  Still facing the wall behind the sink, Becky nodded.

  “I know you’re upset,” Grace said immediately, afraid she’d lose heart. “But I hope you can understand what happened today.”

  “Wasn’t it obvious?” came Becky’s terse reply.

  “I had nothin’ to do with it, Becky. Honestly.”

  “But still . . .”

  “Can’t we talk about this?”

  “Well, what’re we doin’?” her friend snapped.

  Feeling more dismal by the moment, Grace was at a loss for words. Now what?

  “I’d prefer not to discuss Yonnie Bontrager ever again,” Becky retorted. She began to scrub the mixing bowls. “If he wants to court you, then so be it.”

  “Ach, Becky . . . no.”

  “Well, why do you think he sat next to you in the van? You’d have to be blind or dense or both—”

  “No need to raise your voice. We’re best friends.”

  “Jah . . . sorry.” Becky’s voice softened.

  “We can talk sensibly ’bout this, ain’t? After all, Yonnie was just catching a ride home . . . it’s not like he went off with me to Eli’s to buy groceries.”

  “He should’ve sat up front with Martin Puckett in any case.”

  Grace reached for the tea towel. “I don’t want a boy comin’ between us.”

  It was quiet in the kitchen for the longest time, and Grace wasn’t sure what Becky would say. At last her friend turned, her face sad. “It’s my fault for actin’ the way I did. I shouldn’t have snubbed you in the van or at the store. Neither one.”

  Grace touched her shoulder. “Well, all’s forgiven on my end.”

  “You sure?” Becky’s eyes were brimming with tears.

  “That’s why I came over. I couldn’t stand to have this awful wedge between us. You’re my dearest friend.”

  Becky nodded and rinsed the mixing bowls. She wiped her eyes on the back of her arm and started to say something more but looked away. Once more she glanced at Grace . . . but still she said nothing.

  What else is on her mind? Grace wondered.

  Judah patted his stomach as he made his way upstairs, having eaten more than his fill. He’d sensed the strain between Grace and himself during supper. By the stricken look on her face, it seemed the small steps they’d made in their relationship were now nearly for naught. He was, after all, standing in his daughter’s way of finding Lettie. Sighing, he knew he, too, should be considering such a trip, if only because of the brethren’s pointed meeting with him. I ought to be the one asking Lettie home.

  Going straightaway to his room, he closed the door and went to sit in his favorite chair, where he reached for the Bible and turned to the Psalms. Now, in the privacy of this place, Judah was alive to the stillness around him. It was the time of day when he felt closest to God. It had also been his and Lettie’s time alone together, whether they spoke a word or simply lay silently in each other’s arms. Were those days gone forever?

  How he’d loved her when first they’d briefly courted. Lettie had made his heart sing in those early days, even though he assumed she still cared deeply for her former beau. Yet Judah had been hopeful she might come to love him with a full measure of tenderness, given time. And he believed that day had come. He’d arrived at the joyful realization soon after Lettie knew she was with child, as together they awaited the birth of Adam. Her face literally shone with affection for Judah all those months and following.

  Their first days and weeks as newlyweds had been another matter, though he hadn’t let on what he suspected—that Lettie had given more than her heart away to Samuel. Judah had carried that suspicion and the accompanying sadness—even disappointment—through all the years of their marriage. But never had he broached the subject with Lettie.

  Closing the Bible now, he felt an unexpected desire to talk to his wife. He didn’t know if doing so might bring an end to her sadness or whatever had compelled her to leave. Oh, what he wouldn’t give to lift the veil of tears from his house! Judah had heard Grace and Mandy numerous times at night, sniffling and crying and talking quietly down the hall—probably praying for Lettie. He was not blind to the hurts and concern of his children, yet the attitude of Lettie’s parents continued to irk him. Jakob had avoided him like he was contagious ever since Lettie’s leaving . . . rarely coming out to the barn to help, unlike before. It no longer pained Judah; it was downright aggravating. If he wasn’t one to shy away from conflict, he might’ve gone over and sat down with his father-in-law about it. As it was, he had little interest now in putting another ounce of strain on their lives. Or on his own.

  Rising from his chair, Judah went to pray silently beside his bed, beseeching the Lord not just for Lettie but also for himself. Then he prayed for his children, that they might not get their hopes too high for their mother’s return. Knowing how stubborn Lettie could be, there was no telling how long she’d choose to wander from hearth and home—or what frame of mind she might be in if she did venture back.

  What was she fixing to tell me that final night? He stared at her pillow, then reached for it and buried his face.

  After the evening’s Bible reading, Grace and her sister prayed faithfully for their mother’s safe return in the solitude of Mandy’s bedroom. “We can hardly wait a day longer, dear Lord,” Mandy said, and her words broke Grace’s heart. She reached over and patted her sister’s hand.

  “Mamma’s in God’s care, so I trust you’ll rest peacefully tonight.” She wasn’t as sure about herself, recalling Mammi Adah’s troubling words to Dawdi. Since she couldn’t begin to ask Mammi about that, she’d have to entrust it to the Lord, as well.

  “Before you head off for bed,” Mandy said with lowered voice, “I have something I want to tell ya, sister.”

  By the look of shyness and even joy on Mandy’s round face, surely what she had to say was something wonderful-good. “Jah?”

  “Frankly, I’d never think of tellin’ a soul ’cept you,” Mandy began. “You’ve prob’ly seen me with a certain fella lately.”

  Grace had observed her with more than a few young men during the past months, but she didn’t want to spoil Mandy’s special moment by speaking.

  Mandy’s eyes smiled now, the apples of her cheeks shining. “I’m hopeful that we’ll need to plant plenty of celery this summer, Gra
cie. Maybe oodles of it.”

  For the creamed celery served at a wedding feast!

  Goodness, she hadn’t seen this coming! Had Mandy fallen in love nearly at first sight? Usually girls rarely told sisters or close cousins such things until they were certain. “You hope to be engaged soon . . . like Adam and Priscilla?”

  “It’s not for sure.” Mandy blinked her big brown eyes. “But I know he cares for me, and I’m so happy, Gracie.”

  “Oh, sister” was all she could say. Grace leaned across the bed and cupped Mandy’s face in her hands. We must get Mamma home quickly. She wondered how her sister would feel if their mother wasn’t there for her wedding. As for herself, she couldn’t imagine such a day without Mamma on hand.

  Mandy hugged her tight, and Grace whispered, “Wait, now, I have something for ya.” She hurried off to her room.

  Opening her dresser drawer, she pulled out Mamma’s white hankie. She’d hand-washed it and pressed it with her iron. Mamma would want Mandy to have this, she thought, going back to her sister’s room.

  “What’s in your hand?” Mandy asked, eyes wide.

  “I found this in the cornfield recently.” She gave it to Mandy. “It’s Mamma’s.”

  “Oh, Gracie . . .”

  “Carry it on your wedding day . . . whenever that may come.”

  Mandy held the pretty little hankie next to her cheek just as Grace had when she’d first found it. For a moment, Mandy could not speak for her tears. “Having this . . . gives me hope,” she whispered. “You just don’t know.”

  Jah, hope. Grace knew all about that.

  Twitchy and unable to sleep, Grace rose from her bed, dressed, and slipped outside to breathe in the fresh, sweet air. Dark as it was, she found comfort in the faint light of a waning moon as Adam’s earlier words—hurtful as they were—rang in her head. She considered all the nights Mamma had left the house to go walking in the cornfield. I understand better now.

  She found herself strolling along the road, something she’d never think of doing during the daytime. But this late, there was seldom a speck of traffic. Swinging her arms, she took deep breaths, holding them for five counts and then exhaling. No one had ever told her to do this, but in the past she’d discovered it helped remove the cobwebs from her brain. Helped her face her fears, too.

  Adam’s unexpected report had made her think twice. Not before he’d talked so outspokenly had she cared one iota about marriage. But now, knowing what the fellows were saying—or what Prissy said they were saying—she wondered if she should be concerned. Was it a blight on her as a woman to remain single? Adam had more than hinted that she’d come to despise being a Maidel. But wasn’t it far better to live out her life taking care of the family she already had than to make a bad match out of desperation? She certainly did not appreciate Prissy or Adam, neither one, pronouncing what was going to become of her! No, in her heart she was sure she could only marry for love.

  She walked farther than she had originally planned and was glad she’d taken time to dress, although her feet were bare. In the distance, she heard a horse clip-clopping up the road and the faint sound of laughter. It was a night for courting, after all.

  There it was again. Goodness, if she wasn’t imagining things, it almost sounded like Becky’s laughter. But far as she knew, Becky was still sulking over Yonnie. Or did Yonnie change his mind about courting Becky, maybe?

  But the farther Grace walked and the closer the horse and buggy came, the more she was convinced it was indeed Becky Riehl’s voice ringing out into the night. Thinking she ought not to be seen, lest Becky and her beau think she was as peculiar as Mamma, Grace darted behind a cluster of trees.

  Heart pounding, she stood there, hidden, holding her breath so she could hear more clearly. She leaned her palms against the rough bark of the tree to support herself.

  The young man’s voice was low at first, rising and then falling again ever so quietly. She strained to hear but was only able to make out a few phrases before his words ceased altogether. Then and there, it dawned on her that Becky was riding under the covering of night with none other than Henry Stahl.

  She gasped and covered her mouth. Well, I guess there’s no grass growing under his feet! Or Becky’s, for that matter . . .

  The relief Grace experienced then, as she realized it was Henry out with Becky—and not Yonnie, after all—surprised her more than she could begin to comprehend.

  chapter

  twenty

  The Lord’s Day dawned with reassuring birdsong. Grace crept to Mandy’s room and opened the dark green shades to awaken her. Her sister stirred and yawned behind her, still drowsy.

  Squinting into the beaming sun, she hoped to spot the various species of birds out at this hour, especially Mamma’s favorite mourning doves. She remembered a lovely thing Mamma had once said—“Birds are like little stars in motion.”

  Her mother might have gotten the line from one of the poems in her treasured books. Oh, but Grace hoped not. Any link to Mamma’s first beau, however slight, made her uneasy. She had mixed feelings about all of that, just as she did about the memory of last night’s strange revelation. Happiness for Becky and Henry . . . and a sense of relief, too. Maybe even freedom.

  She turned from the window and leaned on the footboard, looking down at Mandy’s ample form beneath the quilt. At such times she wondered if this was how it felt to be a mother. She went to sit on the edge of the bed. “I see you’re awake.”

  “I am now.” Mandy smiled sleepily and sat up, pulling the quilts up close. “I slept so gut after our prayer. Did you?”

  “Enough, I guess.” Anymore a deep and restful sleep was rare and therefore a blessing.

  Mandy peered out of the covers at her. “Ach, Gracie . . . you didn’t sleep well.”

  She disregarded her sister’s comment. “We need to get breakfast on the table right quick. I’ll see you downstairs.” She wiggled her fingers in a wave while Mandy stretched and rubbed her eyes.

  Even though she looked forward to gathering with the members on the Lord’s Day, in some ways she was secretly glad this was not a Preaching Sunday. She could go at a slightly slower pace—the whole family could. In her mind, she’d already planned the day, beginning with a visit to the horse stable to spend time with Willow. Bit by bit, Willow seemed to be improving. Dat and the boys had been so attentive and careful, following the vet’s and Yonnie’s solid advice.

  Hurrying now to dress, Grace had a hankering for apple pancakes. They might please Dat, too, for he’d always enjoyed the way Mamma grated the apples into the batter for a nice texture. Those and a homemade syrup of sugar, molasses, and vanilla—Mamma preferred that to maple flavoring—sounded just right this morning.

  But will apple pancakes sorely remind Dat of her?

  Truly, everything reminded them of their missing mother.

  Susan Kempf had a profoundly empathetic way with others. But it was her listening ear that compelled Lettie to want to open her heart this morning . . . to tell someone why she’d left her family.

  They had been lingering at the breakfast table, sunshine streaming in pleasantly as they watched a rare blue-winged warbler perch on a branch near the window. “Time for nest building,” Lettie said, pointing at the petite yellow bird with blue-gray wings and a distinctive black eye line. Both she and Susan had taken only a second to spot the bright warbler after they’d heard its high-pitched chirp.

  “I’m nothin’ like that little wood warbler.” Lettie sighed, testing the waters. “My nest is in shambles now.”

  Susan looked at her with soft eyes. “You’ve run away, haven’t ya?”

  Lettie bowed her head with regret, still aware of the bird’s vibrant call. Why was she sticking her neck out? Goodness, I’ve just met this woman.

  “I sensed something amiss when I saw you alone at Miller’s.”

  Lettie cringed. How very awkward and forlorn she’d felt there in the crowded restaurant. “It’s difficult traveling alone.�
�

  “Well, you aren’t alone now, are you?” Susan smiled warmly and poured more tea into Lettie’s cup.

  “And I’m grateful.” Her new friend spooned up two teaspoons of sugar and stirred it into Lettie’s cup, just as Susan must have observed her do earlier. “I don’t know when I’ve been so cared for.” She squeezed her lips to keep from tearing up.

  “I believe you’d do the same for me, Lettie.”

  Jah, thought Lettie, remembering the Scripture: “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these . . . ye have done it unto me.” She was indeed touched by the woman’s sensitivity and generosity. As she sipped her sweet, hot tea, she contemplated this safe haven the Lord had led her to.

  Judah must be praying for me . . . Gracie, too.

  “Your family must surely miss you,” Susan said gently.

  The words struck at Lettie’s heart. “Oh, and I miss them, too,” she said, beginning to feel comfortable enough to reveal more. “But I felt I had to do this . . . ya see, they aren’t my only family.” She told about her search for her child. “I was young . . . didn’t know my mind, nor my heart.” Between whispers and tears, she poured out her long-kept secret. “I had to find Minnie.”

  Susan’s face reflected the anguish Lettie felt. “No wonder . . .”

  Unable to speak, Lettie nodded her head slowly.

  “Such a hard journey for one so wounded.” Susan’s lips curved downward.

  “You led me to Minnie. For that, I’m ever so thankful,”

  Lettie said, feeling suddenly spent.

  “I pray you’ll discover only what is best, Lettie . . . that if it’s God’s will, you and your child will be reunited.”

  “Do you mind if I lie down for a little while?”

  “Not at all.” Susan rose to walk with Lettie into the spare bedroom past the sitting room. “Just rest for now.”

  “Denki.” Smiling, Lettie sat on the edge of the bed. “May the Lord bless you.”

  “Oh, He has, you can be sure.” Susan reached for the afghan and placed it at the bottom of the bed. “I’ll be in the kitchen . . . if you need anything at all.”