Love Reality

by Nana Malone

  “I know. Look, I only wanted to get on the show because of the “Lonely Girl” connection. I had no idea Mia was actually Lonely Girl until I stepped out of that fucking limo.”

  “So what now?”

  “I keep doing my job. I keep lying.”

  Reece drained his beer and shook his head. “Well, it’s all about what’s more important to you, right? I know what this job means to you. Is Mia more or less important?”

  “I—” Fuck, a month ago, it wouldn’t even have been a question. “I don’t know.”

  “I guess you better figure that shit out then.”

  * * *

  “You’re shitting me.”

  Mia groaned and slouched in her seat. “I shit you not. I mean, I was close. Like real close. Then, bam, Jezzie.”

  Larissa blinked. “You need to slow down here so I can form an adequate picture. Like in what state of undress were you?”

  Heat suffused her face. “Undressed enough. And let me tell you, that man is beautiful. I mean whoa. Like he’s been carved.”

  “Manscape?” her friend asked with a raised brow.

  Mia rubbed her chin. “Hmmm, there was a light dusting of hair. Maybe he maintains without going for the gay porn look?”

  Larissa snorted a laugh. “Good man; maintenance is key. So how did he take the coitus interruptus?”

  “When he recognized that I wasn’t being robbed or anything, he laughed about it. I mean, in walks Jezzie, and I literally hopped over the couch. Totally unsexy.” Although, if she thought about it from his perspective, she’d have laughed too.

  “Don’t be ridiculous. If there’s one thing the last couple of weeks have proven, it’s that Homie is all about Mia. So stop worrying. Did you at least get some quality time with Jezzie?”

  “Yeah, that was the one good thing. After Ryan beat a hasty retreat, I got to spend most of Saturday with my sister before she had her fitting and was on a plane for Los Angeles.”

  “Bummer she wasn’t around longer. Would have been cool to have lunch, but I guess that’s the life of an international supermodel.”

  “Don’t let her hear you say that. I think she’s getting tired of it all.”

  “Word? If I had her body or just her legs even, you know I’d be going all Naomi with it all the time.” Larissa pointed at her notebook. “Don’t you have a meeting with Jamie right now?”

  Mia dropped her head on her desk and didn’t bother looking. “Don’t remind me. It’s in ten minutes.”

  “Let me guess, you’re not exactly bubbling with enthusiasm?”

  Mia made a mock surprised face. “How did you guess?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. I’ve been told I have a sixth sense about these things.”

  “Is the proposal done?”

  Mia leaned back in her seat. “Yes. But, it doesn’t reflect any of the changes she wants to make. The latest thing she wants to change is to make Lonely Girl Asian. She thinks it would play better to the market. In the end, I’ve gone with my gut. If they don’t select it and she doesn’t produce it, it’s fine. I can always shop it around other places. Would have been nice to have TVN do the show since I already have an in, but I’m not afraid of a little hard work.”

  “I can’t believe all her change requests. Hello, McFly, you are Lonely Girl.”

  Mia pointed at her. “Preacher, you can hear me sing hallelujah any time. Look, it’s not like I want to be Lonely Girl on television. Shit, you see how crazy-making Love Reality is for me, but that’s why this was supposed to be scripted to tell the story. And there would be some cute but quirky actress to play me. I feel like it’s diluted if it’s a reality show.”

  “You have the right to stand up for the show you believe in. She can’t fault you for that.”

  “You are being rational. Her not so much. I can’t believe I ever thought this was a good idea. If she could, I’m pretty sure she’d rather fire me.”

  Her friend grinned. “Then you’re in luck. You have the show for at least another few weeks. She certainly won’t fire you before then.”

  “Somehow, I’m not comforted by that. You’re not the one who has to deal with Twitchy and Handsy, otherwise known as Felix and Dorian.”

  Larissa shivered. “I saw that date with Handsy and how you avoided the kiss. God, it was like watching a train wreck.”

  “Yeah, imagine how I felt during the whole encounter. Yet somehow, he keeps making it through the voting rounds.”

  Larissa pursed her lips. “What were you working on before I interrupted to get my Ryan fix?”

  Mia glanced over her shoulder to make sure they were alone. “You know how Ryan said that Jamie promised him favors if he did what she said and if he didn’t there would be consequences?”

  “Yeah, high on the creepy and unethical factor.”

  “I started looking into past shows and pulling the voting numbers. Some of the guys that went home, and even some of the women from the guys’ shows, had the highest votes from the audience to stay.”

  Larissa frowned. “You’re kidding me.”

  Mia shook her head. “No, I’m not. Come look at this.” She waved Larissa over to her laptop. “Okay, do you remember Michelle James?”

  Larissa nodded. “Loved her. And the worst thing was that the Prince Charming at the time really did too. Didn’t he eventually not pick either of the girls at the end?”

  Mia nodded then clicked to show what had happened to Michelle. “She was really well loved. And I pulled the ratings sheets for her. The public loved her. She was not voted off the show.”

  “But that’s bullshit.”

  “I know. And what’s more, the rules of the show state that the voting is done by audience tallying only. I checked.”

  “So you’re saying Jamie had her booted.”

  Mia shrugged. “I’m not saying anything right now. All I know is she should have been on that show. At least by the numbers. After the show, the Prince Charming at the time, Matt Reynolds, even tried to date her, but he got a high-profile job abroad, and she wouldn’t go with him.”

  Larissa frowned. “What happened to her?”

  “That’s just it. She was pretty much a media darling. Everyone loved her. But I asked some of my sources, and she has been blocked from ever getting her own show. And to make things really weird, her father works as editor in chief for some mid-size magazine in the Minneapolis area. When she was with Matt, her dad was up for review, in danger of losing his job. She decides to stay, and Daddy gets to keep his gig.”

  “Mia, that’s crazy. Even Jamie isn’t that powerful.”

  “Maybe not, but her father is, and he owns the network, so Jamie can do as she pleases.”

  Larissa kept her voice hushed. “But that’s majorly fucked up.”

  Mia shrugged. “Like I said, I don’t know what’s going on, but she’s not the only one. Remember Shawn Carson?”

  Larissa grinned dreamily. “Do I ever. He smiled at me once during a taping, and I about threw my panties at him.”

  Mia laughed and rolled her eyes. “Remember he was voted off on episode six?”

  “Yeah, I couldn’t believe it.”

  “That’s because it was ridiculous; he got the highest votes ever for any Prince Charming.”

  Larissa shook her head. “Mia, you need to be careful with this information.”

  “It’s not anything yet. I have nothing. Right now, I have some anomalies that deserve questions. I plan on talking to some of the guys that have returned.”

  “You’re taking a risk. She can take your show and destroy it. If you don’t play along, she’ll go for blood.”

  Mia folded her arms. “Well, she’s welcome to, but I’m not interested in playing along. I have to tread carefully, but I don’t want to be manipulated anymore.”

  “You still have weeks of taping left.”

  “How many more dates with Sneezy and Handsy do you think I have to endure?”

  Larissa winced. “Could be a few more.”r />
  An hour later, as Mia knocked on Jamie’s office, she tried to remember why she loved Larissa so much, because this felt like madness. Voluntarily walking into the lion’s den wearing a meat suit a la Lady Gaga.

  “Come in.” Jamie’s tone was brusque.

  “Hi, Jamie, you said to come by any time I have any concerns. Is this an okay time?”

  Judging by the tight lines around her mouth, this was not a good time. And there were no camera’s around to capture her benevolence. She surprised Mia however. “Yes, come in. What do you need?”

  Okay, gone was the kind mentor. The dragon lady was in full force. Mia reviewed her script in her head again. Guide the conversation. “I’m wondering if we can pull back a little. I’m exhausted.”

  Jamie pursed her lips, and Mia wondered if they’d gotten it all wrong and Dragon Lady really would fire her ass. But then Jamie sighed as if she was dealing with a recalcitrant child. “Look, Mia, you have to go on. Suck it up. You’re tough. I mean you’ve been in foster care before. This is nothing compared to that.”

  Ouch. In that instant, she knew that she’d walked into a fight carrying a Swiss Army Knife and her enemy had a bazooka. “The cameras are really intrusive.”

  “You’ve been on the other side a million times. You knew what it would be like.”

  “Even you have to admit that doing audience voting in real time and doing the results show later in the week makes it more compacted. The schedule is too tight. Too many dates in one night. And honestly, I don’t know how guys like Dorian are still around. He makes me physically uncomfortable.”

  Jamie sighed. “Okay, look. Maybe we can pull back your schedule a little.”

  Was it that easy? “And can we stop making Dorian look like a Boy Scout? I’ve seen the playback, and it makes it look like I’m interested in him.”

  “Fine. Done. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

  This was likely the only shot she’d get. “It’s more of a curiosity than anything else. I just wanted to ask how did we choose the returning guys for the show this year? A friend of mine was asking about Victor from a few years ago. He and the Cinderella fizzled out, right? I guess she wants to figure out if he’s still single.”

  Jamie’s lips turned up in a wry smile. “We never approached him. He was extremely difficult to deal with the last time around. And he had some substance abuse problems.”

  “Wow, I had no idea.”

  Jamie nodded. “That’s because we keep a tight lid on those things. Bad for ratings. Or rather good for ratings but bad for the people who work for us. He was a bad fit then, so we didn’t want that kind of negative energy again.”

  Mia shrugged. “Too bad. He was cute.”

  “If you think Dorian is a pain, you would have hated Victor.”

  Thanks for doing my thinking for me, but I’d rather work the couple of brain cells I was born with. Now, all she and Ryan had to do was track down Victor and get the real story.

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Note to self, forget poking the dragon. Never get on the dragon’s bad side.

  Mia dragged her changes of clothes and her spare shoes out of the limousine. So much for letting her pull back on the dates. Tonight, she’d learned just what it meant to defy Jamie. The woman had run her ragged.

  First date had been with Jameson in Central Park for the afternoon. As dates went, it was well planned and pleasant. Though no matter what she tried, she couldn’t shake the feeling that Jameson wasn’t actually interested in her. He’d been attentive, but maybe it was a chemistry thing. She didn’t get along with him like she did some of the others. He did kiss her goodbye, and she’d been surprised. It had been pleasant enough, but still he wasn’t Ryan.

  From there, she’d been whisked off to her date with Adam at a Knicks game. The Knicks had lost, but she’d had plenty of fun shouting at the ref, and the floor seats were ridiculous. Her brothers would be so jealous. She could just see Derek now, pea green with envy.

  Adam had been fun. After Ryan, he was probably the one she got along with the best. He was funny, charming, and entertaining. He’d also been on the show before, so he knew how to play for the cameras. She’d tried hard to probe him for information on this season, but he didn’t give anything away. Though at the end of their date, he’d pulled her in for a kiss. It had surprised her because he’d never attempted to kiss her before. And that was a shame because he certainly had the skill to do so. But still, he wasn’t Ryan.

  It was very good, but not sheet-clawing good. Like the way Ryan kisses you. Well, as far as she was concerned, Ryan should teach a class. He had a way of waiting for that moment of vulnerability then making her weak with need and demolishing any control she had left.

  Adam dragged her from her Ryan reverie when he pulled back from their kiss. He gave her a tight hug then whispered, “Be careful what you ask on camera. Let’s talk on the next group date.”

  With her toes pinched, and her mind racing about what Adam might be able to tell her, she’d been whisked to the Guggenheim for the final date of the day with Dorian. Since she hadn’t really had time, she’d been provided with clothes to change into and a mini glam squad, otherwise known as Claudia, had changed her makeup and hair.

  Dorian played his part to the letter. The casting for a pure asshole had been brilliant. She could tell he was irritated through most of the date because she’d been five minutes late. He made it a point to ask her why she was late more than once. But it wasn’t until they were winding down their date that she knew something was up.

  He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her through one of the secluded gardens. The hairs on the back of her arms stood at attention. “Mia, you know how beautiful I think you are. And knowing a little bit about your past, I wish you’d open up to me.”

  The hell she would. Two more voting sessions, and she could send him packing herself since, apparently, America kept getting it wrong. Now her feet hurt, and she was pretty sure if she had to plaster another fake smile on her mouth, her lips were going to fall off.

  What was he up to? He pulled her closer, and an adrenaline shot of panic flushed her body. He angled his head, and she managed to dodge his lips, giving him her cheek instead. There was no way he was going to admonish her then expect a kiss. Not happening.

  Through clenched teeth, she said, “I’m just very private, and I’m not sure we’ve got a connection.” Yeah, he could chew on that. He had to know she didn’t like him. She went out of her way to avoid him at all costs.

  He kept fidgeting, tugging on the cuffs of his blazer, looking around. “I think we have one if you just give me a chance.”

  Mia frowned. Then it dawned on her that he’d been coached. “Dorian, is everything okay? You seem off tonight.”

  “I’m sorry, I’m nervous. I want this to go well, and I’ve planned a surprise for you.”

  Man, she really hated surprises. “You know, you shouldn’t have.”

  “I think you’ll like this one.” He gripped her shoulders then turned her around. Around the corner of the maze, a dark-haired woman approached. Her hair was straight and thick and hung to her shoulders. As she walked closer, Mia was able to make out more of her features.

  Her cornflower blue eyes were as bright as her own. And her cheekbones were high and sculpted like hers. But her skin was sallow. Like someone who hadn’t had enough sunlight over the years.

  She wore a simple white cotton dress. And her face was heavily lined around her mouth and eyes. The woman looked hard and tired. But through the weariness, Mia recognized the eyes and the cheekbones. And something about the way she lilted her head.

  Her birth mother.

  Mia’s lungs protested as she struggled to get in a good gulp of air. Time slowed, and with every shallow breath, her skull throbbed in time with her pulse. All background noise dimmed until all she heard was the shift of pebbles as the woman walked closer. Her mother was here. In the gardens, in front of her. The woman who’d been in
jail more often than she’d been out. The woman who’d left Mia on her own for days as she did God knew what. If Mia hadn’t finally gone to the neighbors because she was starving, she’d have died in that filthy house all by herself.

  “My beautiful, Mia.”

  The woman reached for her, and Mia stepped back automatically. No, this was not happening. She was not here. This wasn’t how she’d planned it. This wasn’t how this was supposed to happen. She was supposed to get to choose the wheres and hows. She was supposed to be flanked by her family who loved her. Not like this, as a pawn for reality show ratings.

  The contents of her stomach churned. She placed a hand on it, desperate to keep it together. But the woman in front of her took a step forward, and the fight or flight response was too strong to ignore. She whirled away from her and ran.

  * * *

  Mia was still shaking when she opened the door for Ryan.

  His eyes roved quickly all over her body. “Are you okay?”

  She opened her mouth to speak. To attempt to tell him what happened. To scream and yell, but no words formed. What she could manage was to walk into him and lock her arms around him.

  “Hey, now, what happened?”

  She shook her head and nuzzled her face deeper into his chest, and he held her tight, crooning in her ear as she sobbed. Mia had no idea how long they stood there in her doorway like that, wrapped round each other. All she knew was she felt better. He was warm and cocooning, and she felt like she could drown out the world for a while.

  It could have been hours later as far as she was concerned, but she eventually pulled back. He reached up and brushed aside a tear with his thumb. “I got here as quickly as I could. Do you want to talk about it?”

  The stab of pain almost had her doubling over. “No.” Talking was the devil. All she wanted was for something to distract her.

  He nodded. “Okay, we don’t have to talk.”

  He must think she had totally lost it. “Shit, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have called. You were probably busy and someone could have seen you.”