We head up toward the living room where an epic beer pong table is set up. By epic, I mean the length of the entire dining room table.
“Wow, I’ve never done it from this distance before,” I whisper in her ear.
“I’m sure you’ll do fine,” she whispers back. “We got next!” she screams for all to hear. A few guys snicker and laugh beside us, but only one guy in the corner responds.
“We’ll play the girls.”
I glance over to find two guys that don’t seem familiar. One is tall, the other on the shorter side. They look like they could be brothers, though. They have the same brown eyes and dark hair. The only difference in their appearance besides height is their hair. One has long, shaggy hair and the other keeps his spiked.
I make eyes with the tall, shaggy one. He whispers something to his brother and the game before us seems to take forever.
Finally, it’s our turn. The boys beat us to the table.
“Hey, ladies. I’m Tyler and this is my brother, Trevor.”
Meggie takes the lead. “Hey, I’m Meggie and this is Becca – and we are going to kick your ass.”
They laugh. “We’ll see about that.” Trevor snickers to his taller brother.
Tyler glances at me as he fills the cups in front of him, ready to start this new game.
“Yes, we will,” I respond, keeping my eyes trained on Tyler.
“Ladies, first.” Trevor nods to us. Tyler gives me the small white ball he had in his hands. I just love it when guys assume you can’t do things because you’re a girl. There’s nothing I take pleasure in more than proving them wrong.
Meggie leans into my ear. “Kick their ass,” she whispers.
“I plan on it.” I allow my voice to carry.
I form my little stance, popping up on the balls of my feet. My wrist sinks the ball into the middle cup. The room silences; both boys look to me.
“Drink up,” I state. Tyler rolls the ball back to me before chugging the cup. I swish the ball into the cup at the top of the triangle now.
Trevor takes it this time, drinking it before glancing back to this brother. I take the other ball from Meggie and sink that one into the cup behind the two missing spaces. Tyler steals the cup, tossing me the ball.
“You know, Trev, I’m starting to think we got played.”
“You have no idea,” I respond, sinking my ball into yet another cup.
We are forced to play a few more games before all the boys in the room get sick of trying to beat us and we take our leave. I have to get my buzz by drinking the screwdrivers that Tyler and Trevor brought for us during our third win, thinking maybe intoxicating me might help us lose. That was not the case, but I took the drinks, regardless.
I lost Meggie on my way from the bathroom, once again. There’s a lot more people at this party than usual. Me being alone only causes me to think: Why am I here? This is what I do. At night, I get wasted and feel great laughing and having a good time. Unfortunately, when I wake up in the morning, I feel even shittier than I did the night before. Not just the hangover, either. I’m stuck in bed going over every little thing, everything I ever said to John, and everything we ever did.
I find myself wandering around the party, looking lost. Then I make my way back to the bathroom. The door finally opens and Tyler practically runs into me.
“Oh, hey.” He laughs. “Fancy meeting you here.” He leans on the doorjamb, blocking my entrance. His face lingers maybe a little too close to mine. The scent on his breath is straight beer.
“Are you fucked up?” I ask.
“Not yet. You?”
“Same.” The room is spinning, but my mind can still think. That’s how I determine whether I’m drunk or not – on how my brain functions.
“Here, come with me.” He slips back into the bathroom, pulling me with him by my wrist and closes the door behind us. “This will give you a really good buzz, like nothing you’ve ever felt before.”
“Really?”
“I promise.” He winks at me.
I just want to feel again, anything. I want my heart to pump with something other than hurt; feel something other than broken. I look at Tyler’s outstretched hand and see the little pill in his palm. Everything inside me is saying no, but my heart is so desperate to feel again that I grab it. I pop the pill into my mouth and swallow. Tyler kisses me. I feel his tongue inside my mouth, his hand behind my head.
I don’t know how long we stand there in the dirty bathroom kissing, but eventually, I pull away. I spin on my heels and open the door, attempting to find Meggie again. I discover my best friend by the keg. She’s talking to another one of the football players. He’s not even a starter – I couldn’t tell you his name. I blink; my vision is beginning to get hazy. I’m not sure I could tell you anyone’s name in this room right now.
“Bee! There you are. Where have you been?” She comes right over to me, her boy toy trailing behind.
“I think I’m going to go home.”
“Why? We practically just got here.”
“I… I need to go home.”
“Did something happen?”
“No.” I lean in to her ear. “I just don’t like all these fake people.”
“Becca!” She gasps. Did I say that too loud?
“Can you just hang out for a little longer? I have this little rock star right where I want him. Few more minutes and I’ll leave with you.”
“Ugh, fine.”
Meggie hands me another red cup and we walk into the living room. At least I think I was walking; the floor seems to move fast and slow at the same time. The music begins to dance around me, the bass pumping along with my heart.
“Are you okay?” Meggie’s eyes look me over, but I can’t focus on her.
“I’m fine.” I shove her away and stubbornly walk forward, deeper into the party.
“Becca! Becca, look at me. Did you take something?”
I fill with anger. “It’s none of your business.”
“Of course it is. Wait up!”
“Hey Meg, what’s up?” A short, blond frat boy grabs her wrist and spins her to face him, the Sigma Pi shirt swimming on his small frame.
“Not now, Joe.” She turns back around, storming toward me.
He snickers something I can’t make out to his friends before yelling, “Yo, Meggie, does the carpet match the drapes?” His shouting causes people to glance over. Meggie stops in her tracks, eyes wide, and her cheeks go so red I can’t tell where her freckles are anymore. “Never mind,” he continues. “I’m sure someone here can answer my question! Am I right?”
Her hair falls over her face, almost as if she’s trying to hide herself. I’ve never seen her ashamed before. Seeing her so upset infuriates me. I spin on my heels. “Excuse me?”
“Nothing, Nerd-Barbie, I was talking to the Meg-a-Slut here.” Then he condescendingly adds, “You know, because she’s a whore.” His head tilts back with laughter. His friends follow suit. Their laughter echoes in my ears and taunts me. I blink hard before stomping closer to him. My fist flies at his face, cracking him in the eye. He falls to the ground as silence envelops the house.
I stare down at my red fist even though I feel nothing.
Then, sirens sound. I blink and Meggie has her hands on my shoulders. The volume is muffled but from her lips I can read,
“Becca, can you hear me? Becca?”
“I’m fine,” I tell her, attempting to shake her from me. That’s about when everything goes black.
The sound of something being dragged across and clicked into place brings me back. I blink. I’m sitting in a tiny jail cell. The officer locking me inside isn’t familiar. He leaves me in the cell alone. I glance down at my red hands. What the hell happened? I’m dizzy and my head is too heavy to hold up. My throat is so dry; I could drink an entire ocean. If my vision wasn’t so shaky, I think I’d notice my hands are twitching. The florescent lights buzz above me and I can hear it inside my head.
“Oh my God, what is going on?
” I ask myself, leaning my head back against the wall.
Footsteps echo down the hall. My head hurts so bad I can’t find the energy to turn and see who it is.
“Becca?” His voice is breathless, almost unbelieving. I’d know that voice anywhere. I’ve dreamed about it countless times. He comes into my line of vision, leaning his arms through the bars of my cell. “You know, I’m starting to think you do this stuff just to see me.” He means it as a joke, but the pain inside of me triples.
“Fuck you.”
“Are you okay?” I feel his eyes inspect me now.
“I’m fine,” I mutter, forcing myself to turn my head, trying to avoid those perfect blue eyes of his.
“I’m told you gave a kid a black eye.”
I squint at the wall, trying to remember. “Where’s Meggie?”
“I don’t know.”
“How did we get separated?” I murmur, mostly to myself.
He must feel the need to answer. “I can tell you what I do know,” he finally offers. Reluctantly, I roll my head back to face him. As much as I hate John, the future lawyer in me needs answers. I nod.
“Officers were called to the fraternity house on a noise complaint. They raided it, catching under age kids drinking, and some for drugs. They found a kid icing a black eye in the kitchen, claiming a pretty blonde girl knocked him out. They found you alone, running down the road.”
“I was running?” I repeat, more trying to process than anything else. I don’t remember any of this.
“Well, once they noticed the red knuckles and your pupils dilated to the size of saucers, they tried to take you in. You apparently resisted arrest. I have to check the dash cam. They claimed to chase you around in circles before finally grabbing ahold of you.”
I glance down. That would explain the grass stains on my brand new shirt. He hides a laugh, but I am anything but amused. Mortified. Embarrassed. Mad at myself. All of the above, but not amused.
“Oh my God.” My head falls into my hands.
“Are you okay, Beck?”
“I’m fine, just worried about Meggie.”
“I’ll go check on her.”
“No, you don’t have to.”
“I know I don’t.”
We share a look. My eyes clear for a second upon seeing him silently inspecting me from head to toe. He nods and leaves me alone in the cell.
The cruiser zips up the North Commons University road, winding around to the dormitories on the other side of the field. I was supposed to go home an hour ago.
“Ugh, what am I doing?” I mutter, punching the steering wheel. I’m supposed to be staying away from her. Why do I keep doing her favors?
I pull Patty into the handicap spot in front and dash inside. One flash of my badge at the visitor’s desk is all I need to infiltrate the dorms. Security is pretty lacking here. I head up the stairs, weaving my way between students until reaching the third floor. My fists knock, twice upon reaching the correct door. A young man answers before I’m able to knock a third time. He’s dressed only in a towel. I peek around him, searching the room. It’s Becca and Meggie’s dorm – no doubt.
“Can I help you, officer?” The boy begins to look flustered, no doubt counting the many things I could be here for.
“Officer?” This voice is softer, questioning. Meggie stumbles into the living room, tying a robe around her waist. “John?”
“Becca wanted me to check on you.”
“Where is Becca?” She glances around. “Is she okay?”
“She’s in custody.”
“Custody? Oh my God, I need to go.” She starts putting hideous bunny slippers on.
“She’s fine, for now – tell me what happened last night.” I can’t seem to control the anger in my voice. I don’t know what it is about Becca that makes me like this, or why I have this overwhelming need to protect her, no matter what.
Meggie’s eyes glance over at the boy.
He coughs. “I think I should go.”
“Not if you were with them last night,” I butt in. “What is your name?”
“Tyler, sir.” He shifts his weight from side to side. “No, I wasn’t with them. I picked Meg up from the party after the bus got back from the football game, around eleven – Becca wasn’t with her. To be honest, I thought she was studying in her room, like always.”
Meggie shakes her head. “That was the old Becca,” she mutters, before turning her gaze back to me. “I lost track of her when the cops came.” Her face turns downward. “I should have called her. Something wasn’t right, I could tell.”
“Was she drugged again? She doesn’t look herself,” I blurt out.
“Not by accident.” She meets my eyes, telling me all I need to know.
“Got it.” Nothing can control my anger as I stomp out of the dorm, slamming the door behind me. I take the stairs two at a time until bursting out of the vestibule. Once in the cruiser, I smack the steering wheel again. I can’t believe I’ve been hunting down the people who drugged her when she’s willing to take something from someone else. How do I know she didn’t want it? She could have just been messed up, like she is now.
Time goes by so slow here. I can’t seem to make out the clock on the far wall. My contacts are so dry. I blink a few times; still nothing. John has been gone for a while. Maybe he’s not coming back. He’ll disappear just like he did last time. Cops pass by the door, and I get bits and pieces of conversation as they retreat down the hallway. Nothing pertaining to me; just usual gossip. Apparently, these officers are even worse than women, with how they talk about anyone and everyone. Leaning back against the wall, my head slowly begins to become normal. My body still shivers and my palms are sweaty, but for the most part, I’m beginning to feel better.
The door slams shut. I sit up abruptly, bringing on a new headache. John comes up to the cage with a fire burning in his eyes.
“You took drugs last night, Rebecca?” The sound of my full name hits like ice water. John Smith has fully returned to officer-mode. His eyes hard, he’s not the man I saw here only a short while ago. “Drugs! Have you learned nothing?”
“What? Where’s Meggie?”
“She was at home, and told me that you were popping pills last night like Skittles.”
“I was not.” I lean forward.
“Oh, yeah, that would explain a lot. Like the running, the incoherence, the resisting arrest. I just don’t get why you would take something when you, of all people, know the ramifications of being drugged.”
I scoff.
“Why is that funny?”
I stagger to my feet, closing the gap between us. I place my hands on the bars, look him dead in the eye, and ask, “How does it feel?”
“How does what feel?”
“To not understand why?”
His face is stoic, staring back at me from the other side of the cage; his face a little further back than it was before. John stands there watching the hurt bubble up inside of me. I’ve never been the type of girl to let a guy rule my emotions like this, but I’ve been on a yo-yo ride of ups and downs with this man for months. If it’s the last thing I do I’m going to get some freakin’ answers.
“I’ve been asking myself that same question for weeks now. How does it feel? It sucks, doesn’t it? So why don’t you tell me, John. Tell me why. Why would someone lead another on all summer and just stop talking to them out of nowhere? Why would a guy pretend to like a girl and disappear overnight?” He pulls away and his back meets the far wall as he watches me. “Answer me, John!”
His gaze shifts to his feet. “I don’t know.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it,” I mutter, pacing the cell now. “Don’t you think I deserve some answers? I’m not a fucking robot. I can’t just turn my feelings on and off like you can.”
He breathes deeply, and his sigh falters slightly. I think he might respond, but instead keeps his eyes set on the floor.
“I’m sorry, I can’t pretend like what happened b
etween us meant nothing.” I pause in my pacing to look at him. “I know you felt it too. I don’t care what you say.”
After an eternity, his eyes finally meet mine, conflicted.
John left right after that. A few minutes later, my brother arrives with another officer. They release me and my brother pulls me out of the precinct by my wrist. I scan the desks as we pass, but they never find the one I’m looking for. Just like that, John Smith has disappeared from my life. Again.
“What were you thinking, Becca? Drugs?”
“You too? Believe me, I already got the lecture from your dear friend.”
“You know, I’ve done a lot of shit, Becca, but drugs was never one of them. You need to get your shit straight before Mom and Dad find out about this.”
“I don’t care anymore.” With that, I walk around him and wait by his car.
He unlocks the car and doesn't speak until we are both seated inside. Bedford starts up again. “What is up with you?”
“Don’t worry, you got what you wanted. John and I are over.”
He looks stunned. “John is the one who called me.”
“Oh, goodie.” I reach over, putting my seat belt on.
“Becca, I didn’t—”
“Save it, Bedford. Just take me home.”
The ride back to North Commons is silent. My brother keeps opening and closing his mouth as if he wants to say something, but never does. When he pulls up to the dorm parking lot, I don’t even wait until the car completely stops before I tear out of the passenger seat.
“Becca,” he calls after me.
“You know, Beddy, you can’t save me.”
“What?”
“John and you – you’re always trying to protect me, to save me. I’m my own person and I have to live my own life. You can’t save me from living, you can’t save me from getting hurt – because maybe I already am.”
The tears fill up in my eyes. I turn and leave my brother staring after me in the parking lot as I run inside. The tears begin to fall once I make it. I need to hide my pain again.
I’ve changed into pajamas and resolve to never wear real clothes again. I don’t really need to graduate. Graduating would make my mother so proud; she could finally marry me off to the highest, most affluent bidder. I’m slipping out of the bathroom, washing the make-up from last night off my face, when I hear voices in the hall.
Uncovering Officer Smith (The Discovering Trilogy #2) Page 21