“Yeah, a party at Alpha Delta Pi. Bring your friends.”
“Definitely.” A girl’s voice responds.
I open the door. It’s that kid from the fraternity party a few weeks ago. What was his name? Casey? Cam? Carl? –
“Hey, Swanson! I didn’t know you were here. Come to my party tonight.”
“A party?”
“Yeah, it’s at the frat house. You should stop by.”
“Okay.”
“If the guys at the front hassle you, just tell them Cole sent you.”
Cole! That was it. “Sounds good.”
“So, I’ll see you there?”
I take the flyer from his hand, the one with just the obnoxious fraternity letters scribbled on it and today’s date.
“Yeah, I’ll be there.”
“Awesome! See you later.” He practically skips down the hallway. I hear my next-dorm neighbor beginning to open the door when I automatically shut mine.
I’m doing my make-up a few hours later when Meggie wanders back into the dorm. She drops a few shopping bags on the kitchen island and turns to me in the bathroom.
With only one eye done, I turn to her. “Meg, get dressed. I got invited to the Alpha Delta Pi party.” I take a swig from the red cup on the corner of the sink before returning my attention back to the mirror. She just stands there. Her gaze is still on me until I finally turn back around.
“Becca, what is going on with you?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Do you need help?”
I laugh. “The only thing I need is a stiff drink. Are you down?”
She smiles. It’s not just a regular smile, it’s a sick, I’m-in-love smile, and it makes me nauseous. “I actually have a date.”
“A date?” I scoff.
“Yeah, Troy asked me out on an official date.”
“Oh, well I’m happy for you.” I turn back to the mirror.
“No.” Her face falls. “I don’t think you are.”
“You’re right, I’m not.”
“Becca?” She gasps my name.
“I’ve been single for a year now! It’s my turn. You treat men like shit – I don’t get it. At least karma should have caught up with you or something.”
When I look up to meet her eyes, they are wider than I’ve ever seen them. “Wow.”
I regret the words as soon as I see the hurt in her eyes. “I…”
“No, I got you. You know I never realized you thought of me that way, guess I was wrong.”
“Meggie, I’m sorry. I…” I follow after her toward her room.
“No, I hear you loud and clear.” She slams her bedroom door in my face.
“Meg. Don’t be that way,” I scream through the door.
“Fuck off, Becca.”
Fuck. I’m just messing everything up with everyone. Oh well. I’ll deal with the mess tomorrow. I have a party to get to. There’s no way I’m missing it, especially now. I have to let some steam out.
My feet click against the laminate floor in my new boots. I’m heading across the dormitory foyer to the double doors. I hear my name called before they even have a chance to open.
“Becca!” I turn, and notice Cole wandering around by the game room.
“What are you doing here? I was just headed to the party.” I point toward the doors.
“I wanted to walk you.”
“Walk me? Oh, okay.”
He looks nice. Collared shirt, crisp khaki pants; it’s different from the usual fraternity attire of black sweatshirts with the fraternity insignia on them. So, when he offers me his arm, I take it.
We walk all the way across campus. Cole talked the entire time. I don’t think I said two words beside ‘uh huh’ and ‘oh.’ This kid just really doesn’t get it.
When we finally reach the house, the party is in full swing. The bass can be felt on the floorboards of the porch and the hum of voices sound through the windows. I waited all day for this, needing a place to escape. When I’m blasted nothing seems to matter, and that’s exactly what I want. I don’t want to feel, don’t want to remember. I want a good time.
I ditch Cole at the door. Slipping my way through the mass of bodies—It is easy to lose him. Stealing a beer out of the fridge, I make my way around. I recognize a few faces from the previous parties. Others, I have run into leaving Meggie’s room. I wave to some and ignore the rest before I realize I’m all out of beer.
Taking an unopened can off the coffee table, I pop the top, and continue deeper into the party.
“Hey, Becca!”
“Oh, hey.” I don’t remember this guy’s name. It swims before me in the mess I like to call my drunken memory.
“I have some of that special stuff from last time.”
“Special – oh!”
“Meet me upstairs in ten if you’re interested.”
He disappears into the crowd before I can respond. Last time I was on that special stuff, I woke up behind bars. The last thing I need is to run into Officer No-Feelings. But, on the other hand, I’ve never felt so… free before. Not remembering and not having a care in the world. It was bliss.
Before changing my mind, I head upstairs. Each step creaks under my weight upon ascension. All the doors are shut except for one at the end of the hall. I trace my steps all the way there. It’s a normal bedroom, two beds on opposite ends of the room, a shared desk in between. There my friend sits on one of the beds, a sandwich bag full of something between his legs. A few other people are already there and a couple filter in behind me.
“Close the door.” One of them catches an attitude with me. I obey, closing the door behind me before sitting down on the in front of the bed.
“I hope you all brought exact because I don’t have any change.”
They all nod and he begins handing out pills like some kind of lax pharmacy. He hands out different pills from his sandwich bag and takes cash in return.
People filter out until it’s just me. “Becca?”
“Can I just get the same as last time?”
“Sure. Twenty.”
I reach into my back pocket and pull out the cash. I was saving this for some cheese fries later, but this will do. He hands me a tiny blue pill and with a nod, I leave him alone in the room. My feet take me further down the hall until I find a bathroom. I slip inside, locking the door and putting the toilet seat down on the disgusting bowl. I sit and stare at my hand. I guess that makes it official now. I’ve paid for drugs.
“My mother would be so proud,” I whimper. A part of me wishes Meg were here to talk me out of it. The other part, the part that cried herself to sleep last night, swallows the pill. I feel it the entire way it slides down my throat without any liquid to wash it down.
With a deep breath, I get up and head back to the party.
I’m on another beer before feeling anything. The world around me grows hazy—Not blurry, just a little glazed over. Cole finds me again.
“I lost you for a second. There are so many people.”
“So many,” I repeat.
“Don’t go disappearing on me again.” He wags his finger in front of my face. I’m mesmerized by it.
I giggle. He says a few more things and I laugh at all of them too. This kid is super funny; maybe I was wrong about him.
“Let me show you my room. No, take your beer.”
“Okay.” I follow him back up the stairs. They swim under me now. With every step, I feel as though I’m going to topple over. They also groan under my weight and I think I feel them move slightly to get away from me.
“You okay?” Cole asks me from the top of the steps.
“Perfect,” I respond with a smile. He takes my hand again, guiding me to the first door.
“This is my room.”
The walls are blue. I spin around like I’m in a fish tank. “It’s very blue.”
“My Psych teacher says blue is very calming.”
“Calming,” I repeat. “I have to agree.”
“Where have you been hiding, Swanson?” His hands are warm on my hips.
“Under books.” I giggle again. Cole’s face is close—Too close, but I don’t mind. What’s a meaningless make-out session, anyway?
He laughs before kissing me. I pull away to take another swig of my beer before kissing him again.
The door to the room swings open. “What are you doing?”
“Tom?” His tall, lanky frame hovers in the doorway.
“Becca, what are you doing?”
“Dude, can you shut the door? We’re busy,” Cole shouts before turning his pouty lips back to me.
“Hold your horses.” I place a finger to meet those lips before pushing them away. “Tom, what are you doing here?”
“I heard about the party and I came to check on you.”
“Check on me?”
“You’ve been acting funny recently.”
I get offended. “You’re acting funny.”
“Why are you repeating everything I say?” He sinks down in front of me. “Becca, are you okay?”
“That’s it! If I’m not getting laid, I’m going to return to the party.” Cole stomps out.
Tom and I both ignore him. “Becca? Did you take something? Your pupils are dilated.”
“Dilated, that’s a funny word. Dia-lat-ed.”
“Becca, are you kidding me? What happened to you?”
“College.” I lean back against the blue wall now, suddenly hit with a wave of nausea.
“You know what – maybe I was wrong about you. You are just like your brother,” Tom mutters, leaning in to squish my face between his hands. “You’re a lost cause.”
Those are the last words I remember hearing before my eyes close and everything fades away.
Ever since walking away from Becca, I realized I should have stayed and talked to her. It was the comment she slapped me with, that one about me being a robot, which stunned me.
How could she think such a thing? I guess that’s how it looked from my actions. But I never thought about it, just figured she would be better off without me. I also assumed Ford would step in and turn her toward a direction he saw more fitting. If he doesn’t think I’m good enough for his little sister, then maybe he’s more like his parents, after all.
I don’t know what makes me turn Patty up the NCU lawns and veer to the right heading toward the new dorms, but I do. I even made it up the three flights of steps. I can’t leave Becca like this, can’t let her think what we had meant nothing. I must explain things to her.
I keep changing my mind with every step I take to get there. Maybe she is better off hating me. But can I live with myself? Before I can change my mind, I’m knocking on her door. Silence.
I knock again. No answer. Maybe, this must be for the best. I’m contemplating this as I head for the stairs. The dorm is alive with people passing me in the corridor. Typical Friday night. I’m in my uniform but no one seems to hide the fact that they are drinking. Some kid even has a drunken girl hoisted up on his shoulder. That’s nice, bringing a friend home. Wait. I do a double take when I notice the dark glasses, realizing it’s Becca’s next-dorm neighbor. The girl over his shoulder—A blonde.
“Excuse me?”
He freezes, his back to me. He can’t very well deny me when I’m in uniform. “Is she okay?”
“Yeah, she’s fine, just had a few too many. I’m taking her home.” He never turns to face me. I get a weird vibe.
“Who is she?” I walk back to him but he still doesn’t move. I lean over, pulling the hair away from her face – Oh God. It’s Becca. My heart freezes in my chest. “What happened? What did you do to her?”
“I don’t know, I found her like this. I was just taking her home.”
“Give her to me.”
“No.”
“Put her on the floor. Is that puke on her lips?” My voice growing louder as my hands are inspecting Becca’s limp form.
“I found her in someone’s bed at a party upstairs, almost hidden under the blankets.”
“Are her lips blue?”
“Are they?” He finally places her on the floor. Puke is on her lips and she starts to convulse.
“Take my radio. Call for back up,” I tell the kid before placing Becca’s head against the floor. Her body has stopped moving, her heartbeat fading. I begin compressions. Tilting her head back, I blow air into her lungs.
The neighbor kid drops the walkie-talkie when the radio confirms back up to the NCU dormitories. “I thought you only had to do compressions during CPR now,” he leans next to me to add.
“This is Becca. I’ll do anything I goddam have to,” I state between pumping her chest.
Her eyes never open, but her heartbeat is steady when the ambulance finally arrives. I climb into the ambulance. No one tries to deter me. Her hand is in mine as the EMT’s hook her up to an IV and begin running tests.
“Do you know what she took?” one of them asks me.
“No.”
“Do you know her?” the other asks.
“She’s my girlfriend,” I mutter without thinking.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
The noise brings me back to consciousness. I had the weirdest dream. I was floating on a river, my face pointing into the sun. I heard John’s voice, “She’s my girlfriend.” It was only that – a dream. I realize this when my eyes open. I’m in a hospital. This is apparent by the gaudy wallpaper, the needles sticking out of me, and the constant beeping of my heart monitor.
“Mm,” I groan, turning to the window. Beside me, John Smith is in uniform, his blue eyes staring at me. “Oh Lord, not you again.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Listen.” I struggle to sit up. “I don’t need another lecture.”
“I didn’t lecture. I asked how you were feeling.”
“Fine,” I grumble. “What happened?”
“You almost overdosed.”
“What?”
“You had Ecstasy in your system. It was laced with something.”
“Oh.” I pause. “What are you doing here?”
“I… I was called to the scene.” I glance away under the intensity of his eyes. “What is going on with you, Becca?”
I turn, “No, you don’t get to do that. You don’t get to ask me what’s wrong.”
“Why the hell not?” He takes a step toward my bed.
“Because you don’t get to save me. There is no more saving me, John. I’m already gone.”
He walks up to the bed, smelling like puke. “I don’t believe that; not for a second.”
Suddenly, Bedford bursts through the door, followed by our parents. Victoria Swanson is wearing heels and a trench coat like someone that just walked off a runway. My father, James Swanson, is still in his business suit. My mother is the first to my side, practically collapsing into bed with me so dramatically it slides the entire bed.
“Oh, Becca,” she murmurs as they continue to swarm around me. My eyes are on John as he slips past them. He and my brother exchange a look before he leaves, closing the door behind him.
“What the hell happened, Becky?” Bedford comes to the foot of my bed.
“Nothing.” I shrug. “Just got carried away.”
“It’s this school, it’s too crazy. You have to come back home.” My mother, the eternal optimist.
“No, I’m fine, Mom.”
“Are you sure, dear?” She turns to my father. “James, I told you that she should have gone to community college closer to home. Look what happened.” She points to me.
“I’ll be fine, really.”
My eyes meet my brother’s and there it is: doubt. He sees right through me; that or John Smith betrayed me once again.
My mom is once again blabbing about how the problem is NCU and how she had to bail Bedford out of jail one time. My father blocks her from my line of vision.
“How are you feeling, Becky Bear?”
“I’m okay, Dad.”
His blue eyes insp
ect my entire face until he responds, “You can tell yourself that, but I know better.”
I shoot him a weak smile before Bedford pushes him out of the way. “You look like crap, Becky.”
“Well, you don’t look so hot yourself.”
He cocks his head back and laughs. His hand slicks his hair back. “Speak for yourself, scrubs.”
“I make this hospital gown look good.” I wiggle underneath the sheets.
“If you say so,” he mutters.
My mother’s voice cuts through our interaction. “That’s it! She’s coming home.”
“She can stay with me,” Bedford offers.
“She can come home. I need some help around the house, and that lovely Marson boy has been asking about her.”
My dad remains a fly on the wall for this conversation. Bedford interjects something about it being the middle of the semester. My mother comes back with the fact that my health is more important. But as they continue to talk about me like I’m not sitting here in the same room as them, I realize I don’t want to leave.
“No,” I croak, quietly at first, and then I repeat it louder. “No!”
“Excuse me?” The chatter finally silences.
“I don’t want to go home.”
“You don’t have a choice, dear,” my mother tells me.
“Actually, I’m twenty-one years old. I have all the choices in the world.”
She looks stunned for a second, maybe even offended. We square off for a moment, my blue eyes glaring into hers. For the first time since I was born, my mother caves.
“Fine. But any sign of trouble and you’re coming right home. Do you hear me?”
“Yes, Mother.” I lose my fight. I’d agree to anything just to take another nap.
Victoria Swanson turns to my brother. “Beddy, please keep an eye on your sister.”
“I will.”
The biggest problem—Avoided. The smaller problem—I deserved. Things got out of hand. Maybe I need someone looking out for me. My parents’ voices become a distant echo as I drift off to sleep.
Uncovering Officer Smith (The Discovering Trilogy #2) Page 22