Question of Love

by Oliver, Marina

  'I will respect your confidence, my dear. Do you want to go back to America too? You could see him there, you know.'

  'Oh, no, I couldn't follow him!' Pippa exclaimed in dismay. 'Please, Gene, I would prefer not to talk about it.'

  'Very well, if you will answer me one more question, truthfully, with no evasions. Have you quarrelled because of my memoirs?'

  'He - does not like them, he - thinks they will hurt you,' Pippa said slowly.

  'You have not answered me. Has Juan asked you to stop helping me?'

  'It would make no difference to him if I did, and I will not give up!' Pippa exclaimed.

  'I see,' Gene murmured as if to himself. 'Very well,' he went on in a more normal voice. 'We will talk of it no more. But I would like you to go into Mahon for me this morning to buy presents for Maria and Luis. It is their wedding anniversary next week and I thought I would like to give them something early to make up for Maria's accident and all the extra trouble I have caused them. Maria has a passion for luxury bath salts. Get her a huge jar and also powder and body lotion, and perfume. You will know what to get. And Luis has been secretly longing for a velvet jacket. Look, I have written down his measurements on this piece of paper. Get green or red, the brightest you can. Here is a cheque you can cash at my bank. If you need more spend it and I will pay you back afterwards.'

  *

  Pippa nodded, took the paper and cheque Gene had ready and left the room. She ran upstairs to change from her jeans into a light pleated white skirt and yellow shirt, and then went out to the garages. As she drove the Seat through the gates she saw Juan walking slowly up from the beach, and congratulated herself she had not met him.

  She blushed painfully when she thought of the way in which, last night, he had so aroused her senses that not only had she forgotten her anger with him but had shamelessly indicated he might do to her exactly as he pleased. Her abject submission to his skilled lovemaking must have sickened him in the end, too, she thought miserably, for she could think of no other reason why he had left her so abruptly after reducing her to nothing more than a mindless shell, at his mercy and totally responsive to his desires.

  She hoped she would be able to avoid both him and Sally-Jayne until they left, which might with luck be within the next day or so. She could not look him in the face again, and yet never again to see him was desolation.

  Angrily she thrust his image away from her and concentrated on planning what to buy for Maria. The cheque Gene had given her was a very generous one, and unless the jacket cost far more than she expected she would have plenty of money for all manner of bathroom luxuries for Maria.

  She parked the car in Mahon's Plaza de la Explanada, cashed the cheque at the bank nearby and then walked towards the maze of narrow streets in the old quarter of the town where there was a good choice of shops.

  Luckily she found a rich dark red jacket for Luis almost at once, and so was able to spend time selecting the most suitable range of gels and talcs and other scented luxuries for Maria before the shops shut for the long lunch and siesta. She had not realised how late it was and came out with her last purchases just as the shops were all closing.

  There was no need to rush back so Pippa found a small café where she could sit outside under a vine-shaded pergola and eat lunch. Then she took her parcels and walked slowly back to the car. She was reluctant to return to the Casa Blanca for fear of meeting Juan, but there was no alternative and she set out.

  The house was quiet when she arrived, and after taking the parcels up to her room to give to Gene later, Pippa went to find a cool drink from the fridge. She took it out onto the terrace and sat under one of the sunshades, sipping slowly, then she went into the study to carry on with the typing.

  The first odd thing she noticed was the absence of the portable tape recorder which Gene used. After searching the study in case someone had placed it in a different position she shrugged. Possibly Gene had persuaded the nurse to fetch it for him. He used it sometimes to play music tapes and she might, dragon as she was, have permitted that.

  It did not matter, Pippa thought, for there were still several notebooks which she had not started. She opened the drawer where they were kept and found that it was empty. Hastily she looked in all the drawers of the desk. While the ordinary items had been left undisturbed the notebooks and tapes, all of them, both those she had typed and the others, had vanished. So had the various bundles of letters Gene had been working on.

  Pippa sat back slowly. It had never seemed necessary to lock the desk, there wasn't even a key as far as she knew, but it seemed plain someone had stolen all the tapes and books. Was it Sally-Jayne or Juan? Had they, failing to persuade Gene to give up his plans, taken this despicable way of defeating him?

  Shaking with anger she started up and was half way to the door when she recalled that the typing she had done was stored on the computer, and she swung back to switch it on with trembling fingers and call up the last few pages she had done. But the files had been deleted.

  Pippa whirled out of the door and ran up the stairs to Juan's room. She knocked peremptorily and after a brief pause flung open the door. The room was empty and she could see through the open door of the bathroom that he was not there either. A hasty look out of the window showed her his balcony was empty, but a sunhat and pair of sunglasses lying on the table seemed to indicate that Sally-Jayne was occupying the room in the other suite, which shared the balcony.

  She no longer cared, Pippa tried to tell herself, and then she caught a flash of white down on the beach, and saw Juan by the boats. Turning, she left the room and hurried out and down to the beach.

  Juan looked up at her, unsmiling, as she slowed to a walk a few yards away from him. He did not speak, merely lifted his eyebrows in what Pippa thought was a supercilious manner. Damn him! She would not remember last night or bother wondering what he was thinking.

  'Where are the tapes?' she demanded.

  'What tapes?' he asked curtly.

  'Gene's. All of them and all his notebooks, have gone and the files on the computer have been wiped! Have you taken them, or that - or Sally-Jayne?'

  'I can't think why you should imagine I am a thief,' he replied frostily, and in her imagination Pippa could see hordes of his proud Spanish aristocratic ancestors standing beside him, so haughty was his manner. If she had not been so furiously angry she would have shrivelled to a cinder under his gaze, she thought afterwards. But at the time she did not care and stared back at him wrathfully.

  'You've given me no cause to think well of you!' she snapped. 'You are arrogant and despicable and I hate you.'

  'As you did last night?' he asked softly, and Pippa's face flamed.

  'You should be ashamed to even think of it!' she raged. 'How could you have behaved so, with your w - ' she gasped, but it hurt too much to say, and so she substituted, 'with Sally-Jayne waiting for you upstairs? Where are the tapes?'

  'I have no idea. By the way, your fiancé arrived this morning.'

  'My fiancé - who do you mean?' she demanded in astonishment.

  'Frank, I believe his name is. He told Gene he had come to take you home, that you were going to marry him. Gene is rather disappointed you should choose a young man after all, but he understands. It will be best for all of us if you go as soon as possible, and make up your mind which man you want!'

  Pippa turned away dazed. Frank here! Part of her anger turned towards him. How dare he come and tell Gene they were to be married? She began to run back towards the house and in the hall she met Nurse Teresa.

  'Mr Watson, is he awake?' she asked breathlessly.

  'No, he sleeps. Later you see him.'

  *

  Pippa had to restrain her impatience for another couple of hours until Maria came to tell her that Gene wanted to see her. She hurried down to his room. He looked tired but he smiled at her as she approached the bed.

  'I did all the shopping,' she said in as normal a tone as she could.

  'Thank
you, my dear. You have been a great comfort to me.'

  'I - I am not leaving you!' Pippa exclaimed.

  Gene shook his head.

  'I thought it was Juan you loved. This young man, your fiancé, you have never talked of him.'

  'He is not my fiancé and never was!' Pippa said vehemently. 'His father and mine are partners and it has always been assumed Frank and I would marry one day. But I left London because I would not agree, I wished to be on my own for a while. He has no right to claim otherwise!'

  Gene looked at her closely and then smiled slightly.

  'I confess he did not strike me as the right one for you, but then I would prefer to support Juan's claims!'

  'Please! I have said Juan does not love me. Where is Frank? How dare he follow me!'

  'He is staying in an hotel in Cuidadela, and he said he would come to see you tomorrow. I thought if you wished to go home you could make arrangements then, but if it is true you do not intend to marry him I hope you will stay here for some time.'

  'I - of course I will, there is - ' Pippa stopped, recalling the odd disappearance of the tapes. 'Your book!' she exclaimed in dismay.

  Gene sighed.

  'You have worked so hard on it, my dear, but it is all over now.'

  'You know?' Pippa asked, relieved she did not have to break the news to him. 'What happened?'

  'I destroyed them. I have decided Juan is right, publication of my story would create an unnecessary suffering for so many people and what, after all, does it matter to me?'

  'How? When?'

  'This morning. Nurse Teresa was my accomplice. I am afraid I sent you out of the way deliberately, my dear, this morning, for fear my resolution should fail me. But I would like you to stay for a while all the same.'

  'I - I can't!' Pippa exclaimed. 'Did Juan know what you'd done?'

  'I told him when I saw him after lunch.'

  Pippa's head was spinning. Why, if he knew the truth, had Juan not told her when she had accused him? Then the answer hit her with the force of a blow. He did not care what she thought. He was so proud, so certain, that her suspicions and her opinion mattered nothing to him.

  'Please, I must think!' she whispered, and Gene nodded understandingly.

  'The doctor agreed I could have visitors now. I saw that young man this morning but I would like you to have dinner here with me tonight. Juan can fend for himself for once.'

  Pippa bit back the reply that he would be fully occupied with Sally-Jayne. Gene did not know she was in the house. She nodded and escaped to her room.

  What could she do? She would certainly not return to California with Frank, and she did not even wish to see him after his action in claiming her as his fiancée. Equally she could not remain here. The purpose for which she had come no longer existed, and despite Gene's pleas she could not bear to stay where everything would remind her of Juan.

  Suddenly she had a longing to tell Dolores everything, and in London she could try to forget before she faced her family and Frank again. How soon could she get away?

  *

  She went down to the study and telephoned to the airport. After some delay she was told there was a flight late the following afternoon direct to London, and a spare seat.

  'We cannot hold it for you after tonight,' the voice warned, and Pippa suddenly made up her mind.

  'I'll take it,' she decided, and put down the receiver slowly. This was the end.

  As she dressed in the misty blue dress that evening, she resolved not to tell Gene that she intended to leave. It would hurt him, of that she was sure, but she would leave a letter to explain her reasons as far as possible. She could not bear to cause an argument on her last evening and she knew he would be sure to try to dissuade her.

  There remained the problem of how she could get to the airport. She could order a taxi but that would not allow her to depart unseen. She decided reluctantly that she would have to take Luis into her confidence, at least partially, and so she went in search of him.

  She found him washing the large car outside the garages.

  'Luis, is anyone using the Seat tomorrow morning early?' she asked.

  'No, Miss Dawson. Do you want it?'

  'Yes please. I shall be leaving soon, now Mr Watson has decided not to complete his book, and so I wanted to see as much as I could of the island. I've never been to Monte Toro,' she added slowly. 'I can't leave without seeing that, everyone tells me how superb a view one gets from it.'

  Luis looked at her curiously and nodded.

  'I will leave the car for you.'

  'I mean to go very early before it gets too hot, and before Mr Watson wakes. He would say I must go later but I prefer to go early.'

  'I will not mention it to him if that is what you prefer, Miss Dawson,' Luis assured her, and Pippa escaped before she had to begin inventing explanations for her strange conduct. Luis probably assumed she wished to be back in order to do some work for Gene, but that could not be avoided. She would have to ring from Mahon airport to tell Luis where the car was, and beg his forgiveness for the trouble it would be collecting it, but it seemed to her the only way.

  She went slowly back to the house and saw Sally-Jayne going through the front door. Pippa delayed, not wanting to encounter the other girl, but when she reached the hall Sally-Jayne was nowhere in sight and Pippa was able to go straight to Gene's room.

  He seemed determined to forget all causes of dispute and kept the conversation on impersonal topics. Pippa did her best to respond but she was thankful when the nurse came in and said it was time for Mr Watson to go to sleep.

  'Good night, Gene, sleep well.'

  *

  She dared make no other farewell, but she sat up for hours composing a letter which she would leave in the car for Gene, telling him how greatly she had enjoyed working for him and how sorry she was to have left in such a fashion.

  'I am sure you will understand and forgive me,' she finished.

  Then she packed her cases, but even after the long exhausting day she could not sleep. Over and over in her mind she passed from one incident to another of her dealings with Juan, from the first angry meetings to the delightful and tender interludes before she had realised how he was trying to detach her from his uncle. But always her thoughts reverted to the previous evening, his expert kisses and the wild desire that had surged through her veins. Never could she feel that desire for any other man, she thought dolefully. She had loved Juan, did still love him, she admitted to herself. Whatever he had done did not alter that. Nor did the thought he had never had any feelings of love for her.

  At last she slept fitfully, tears streaking her face. In the morning, long before the rest of the household awoke, she crept down the stairs and let herself out of the door. Piling her cases into the car she started it quickly and drove as fast as she could away from the Casa Blanca, her last view of the bay being through the driving mirror.

  She reached the turning to Cala Santa Galdana and suddenly thought of David Nightingale. He had been coming to the Casa Blanca the previous evening but had never arrived. She wondered why not. There had been no message, and in the stress of the day's events she had completely forgotten he had said he would come.

  Glancing at her watch she realised it was still long before breakfast time. If she drove to his hotel she would be able to speak to him and say goodbye before he had to go out for the day.

  She arrived at the hotel and the receptionist telephoned David's room. Within a few minutes he had joined her in the cool, marble floored hotel lobby, and they sat on the side of the ornamental fountains in the centre.

  'I came to say goodbye,' she said baldly. 'Why didn't you come last night?'

  'I received a message that you could not meet me,' he said, puzzled. 'You did not send it?'

  She shook her head.

  'So much happened, or I would have telephoned to see whether you were all right when you did not come. Who could have sent the message?'

  'Never mind, you are here
now. Come out to dinner tonight. I have to attend an important site meeting today but I should be free by six.'

  By six o'clock she would be on her way to London, Pippa thought sadly.

  'I'm sorry, David, but I'm going home,' she substituted at the last minute. She did not wish David to find her in London if she was still there when he returned. It was unfair, she could offer him nothing and it was unkind to let him hope.

  'Home? But why? Has the old man - is he worse?'

  'No, he is much better but he has decided not to do the book after all, and so there is no point in my staying. I want to leave as soon as possible.'

  'I understand, it must be frustrating to have the work stop like that,' David sympathised.

  He could not know the other frustrations she had suffered, Pippa thought wryly. But David spoke again.

  'I'm sorry we can't see some of Majorca together. Are you sure you won't stay on?'

  Pippa shook her head.

  'You are kind but I must go,' she replied firmly. 'I have so much enjoyed your company, David. Thank you for all the comfort you have been to me.'

  'You'll write? Please, Pippa?'

  'Yes, I'll write,' she agreed, thinking that it would not hurt to do that at some time in the future.

  'Will you have breakfast now? Have you time?'

  She shook her head hastily. She had all the time in the world but she could not sit down in a crowded hotel dining room and make polite meaningless conversation.

  'I must go,' she said, a note of desperation in her voice, and mercifully David did not argue. He walked out to the car park in front of the hotel with her and she drove away, across the little river that gave the name to the cove, up the sweeping road, and on her way once more.

  *

  Almost immediately she forgot David, but he had reminded her she had several hours to fill before she need go to the airport. Then the excuse she had given Luis occurred to her. Why not, she thought. She had never visited the Monte Toro and a church, especially one which had been used as a sanctuary over the years, might give her some of the peace she craved.