by Emily Bishop
“It won’t.” My eyes track her every tiny movement, and I ache to do something to calm her.
“I have to leave. You have to let me go. I’m not worth all this. I’m not—”
I can’t take it anymore. I place my hands on her cheeks and press my mouth to hers, robbing her of breath and the rest of her sentence. I didn’t mean to do it like this, so suddenly after she’s been crying, and there’s a certain hardness to my mouth, like the kind of kiss you’d see in a play. I just had to shut her up because I couldn’t stand her beating herself up anymore, wallowing in self-pity and resentment. It’s too painful.
Maybe with this, I can put some sense into her. That is what I tell myself. Maybe with this, I can make her realize that everything is all right. Maybe with this…
My thoughts come to a stop as her lips gently respond to the pressure of mine. It’s only a feeble attempt at first but I feel it. I feel every thread of electricity spark to life. I feel it in every nerve of my body.
Sabrina wants me.
Maybe she just wants you to comfort her, some little part of myself says. Maybe she just wants you to help her forget the pain.
I don’t care! If she wants me, she can have me.
She can have all of me.
The kiss completely changes. It evolves into a monster that we’re both fighting—but we are also that same monster. It’s half-her and half-me and we’re both shitty fighters. Her fingernails sink into the flesh of my neck and we move together to the wall, her following my lead flawlessly. We could be the same body right now. Her mouth is my mouth. Is she throbbing in unison with me, too?
The power of the heat raging beneath my skin surprises me. I’ve been keeping it tamped down to regulation levels for so long…
My hands slither up her arms and take her wrists, pinning them on either side of her head. Her breasts protrude against my chest and my head swims. My manhood throbs. Her copper hair is all messy, jagged wisps and her lips are swollen and pink. I’ve never seen her more womanly than she is right now. I’ve never seen a woman more womanly than Sabrina is right now.
“I don’t want Vince to start anything with you,” she whimpers up to me, eyes swimming in crystal clear fear.
“I’m not scared of him,” I breathe against her ear. I’m completely sincere in that. I wonder if she can feel me pulsing between her legs. I want her to feel safe with me. I’ve never felt stronger than I do right now, humming with adrenaline. I’d die for her, but Vince better be a supervillain if he thinks he can kill me.
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” Sabrina whispers back.
I take both her wrists in one grip and slide my now free hand between her legs. I can feel her wetness through her clothes.
“It doesn’t feel like you want to stop.”
She shudders as my finger lazily tracks across the wet spot on her crotch. I see it. I see her eyes flutter up into the back of her head for a second, and then they close entirely and she arches against me. She’s helping the friction. She bites her lower lip and let her throat fall open, enticing me. All I can smell is her hair, her skin, her breath. I’m in a new world… with so much to explore.
I tuck my fingers into her waistband and slip her shorts to the floor. Her panties are so drenched that I can see the cotton darken with saturation, and an exquisite rush of blood travels to my cock, straightening him into a rod of pure steel. She wasn’t just wet. Her snatch was practically sobbing for me.
“I’ve had dreams about this,” I confess quietly, stripping her soaked cotton panties to the floor as well. She takes two delicate steps out and I brace her hips in both hands, peering up at her in near penance. She gazes back down at me and gulps.
“Me too,” she says.
“I want to consummate this marriage,” I growl up at her, hands flowing back to cup her ass.
“Vince will kill you,” she assures me in a tiny voice, even as I’m dragging her closer, pushing my mouth against her slit. I want to feel her every inch. “He was obsessed with my virginity.” My tongue slides between her labia and parts the silken, rosy folds. The ridge of her clitoris is against my tongue like a little fucking candy and I flick at it with my tongue.
Sabrina’s voice stalls, but then it lurches trembling forward again. Her knees buckle and her fingernails plant themselves into the muscles lining my shoulder. I love being her pillar and the one making her weak all at the same time. “He was obsessed with staying the only man I’d ever been with,” she finishes, breathless and shaky.
I press her sex harder to my mouth, using my palms on her ass for leverage. She is so sweet in here, I want to eat her just to taste her. I roll my tongue and fan it and harden it, listening to the rhythms of her gasps and her groans. Sabrina bucks on my chin and I slide one hand down from her ass and into her tight little pussy. I have to feel it. I can’t stop. I have to fill her now. We tip past the point of no return and I tell her, “I’m going to erase every inch of him from your body, Sabrina.” I pump two fingers into her tiny hole and relish how her muscles twist and suck at me. She’s so hungry. How could this little animal have been hiding inside our mild-mannered nanny for so long? “I’m going to fill you now,” I promise her, standing. “I’m going to make you my wife.”
Sabrina’s cunt tightens around my fingers at the words and I idly continue to pump her as she attempts to speak, but nothing is making it out. Just a series of little cries and groans.
I scoop her up and carry her to the bed, tossing her gently onto her back. I go to my own pants and unbuckle them, letting the zipper come open. My cock comes swinging out heavily and Sabrina yips, springing up onto her knees from her back.
“Nope,” she lightly declines my cock, damn near floating in the air, leaking for her. “I guess we’re just never going to have sex. Too big! Sorry! I always promised myself I’d—”
“Take off your shirt,” I command, gripping my erection in one hand. For me, the games are over. I’m going to have tunnel vision until I’m seeing spots from this orgasm boiling in my prick right now. Sabrina blinks up at me… then slowly moves her hands to the straps of her tank top.
She slides one strap down and gulps, gazing up at me with curiosity and chagrin. I stroke myself down at the mere sight of her naked shoulder. I want to bite that shoulder while I plunge into her from behind.
“Say please,” she commands suddenly, and I exhale hard. She does want to play. She’s probably never had control over a man like this—especially a man of my size—and her face betrays how invigorating it is.
“Please,” I say.
Sabrina smiles and slides her tank top completely down on the left side. Her breast is full and perky and her nipple is a hard little spear. I want it in my mouth and she cups her breast, squeezing it gently for me. I stroke myself down. She knows she has me completely in her thrall.
“The other one, too,” I plead. After that, I’m going to beg her to spread her legs for me. I want to eat her out forever, but I don’t think my dick can take it. I felt the way her pussy sucked at my two little fingers. I can only imagine how tightly it would squeeze my whole throbbing cock.
Sabrina purses her lips, though her eyes shine. I did it. I got her to forget about Vince. I’m actually making her happy—and she’s making me happy, too. This isn’t just sexy; it’s fun.
“I don’t know,” Sabrina teases. “I already gave you the first nipple for free.”
“You’re a billionaire,” I remind her, exasperated.
“Take off your shirt,” she commands, and I grin. My fingers go to the buttons and it breaks away piece by piece, revealing my firm pectorals, my chiseled abdomen, and my powerful biceps. I’d feel cheap and used if I didn’t desperately want to unlock Sabrina’s other nipple right now.
“All right, you pimp,” I tell her, flinging my shirt to the floor. Now all I’ve got are the pants and boxers sagged around my knees. “Is that what you want?”
“Oh, yeah, daddy,” Sabrina purrs, stripping down the next str
ap on her tank top. She presses both her luscious tits together and my teeth sink into my lower lip.
“Now the legs,” I breathe, indicating the little bush snuggled between her thighs. I like it when she calls me Daddy. I feel like I’m the one in control again.
“Yes, sir.” She spreads her thighs for me and my legs go weak. She must notice the nearly pained expression on my face, because she says, “What’s wrong?”
“You’re too beautiful,” I tell her, abandoning my prick and pouncing onto the mattress. I whisk my tongue over her perfect pink slit again. I can’t stop. I want to burrow inside this woman, I’ve been keeping myself bottled up for so long. I want her to suck on my cock. I want to slam into her until she explodes. I love that she’s not scared anymore. I feel her flowering open in my face and I’m about to really plunge in, make her come NOW, but she reaches down and drags me upward, her eyes bright and wild.
“I’m warmed up,” she says, almost hoarse, and I know what that means. She’s ready for me.
I play my plush, broad head over her lips and her hole puckers up against my tip like they’re trying to French kiss. I have to close my eyes against how crushingly sweet this is. She’s so unbelievably slick and I flow into her. She stretches open and curls around me and I drive into her with one brutal roar of satisfaction. This was meant to be.
My head spins as I thrust into her pussy again and again, losing myself. I forget where we even are and the threat of her psychotic ex is the last thing on my mind. She’s a goddess. I want to drive into her until the end of time… but then her pussy walls flutter and twitch in a pattern I’ve never felt before, and I see stars. Forever is going to come awfully quick if she keeps doing that.
“What are you doing to me?” I ask her, thrusting with firm purpose. I try to keep myself in check and not hurt her perfect body. As I plunge into her, those intense new vibrations don’t stop. “What are you doing?”
“I’m coming,” she cries out, and I lose my mind. I drive into her with total abandon and she doesn’t stop me. It’s not hurting her. She loves it. I can feel how much she loves it in this tight hum running through her pussy right now, like she’s electric.
My eyes roll up in my head and I plunge and plunge and balloon inside her. Her pussy flexes responsively for me and I pop like a bottle of champagne, spilling into her so suddenly that the impulse to pull out doesn’t even occur to me. A wave of relief breaks over me and I stretch across Sabrina. We’re both pungent and slippery with sweat. My pants are still somehow around my ankles. The bed looks like wreckage.
“God, that was hot.” I rake a thumb over her sensitive nipple and she giggles, grinding against the softening cock still buried deep inside her. “That was the best sex I’ve ever had, baby.”
“Me too,” she murmurs, and my fingers trace around her side and up her sides. Gooseflesh prickles on her arms and she adds, “Not that you have too much competition.”
Just as she says that, I feel the bottom of her scar, the extra inches I couldn’t see in the bikini, and my heart twinges for her. Poor, innocent Sabrina.
“What is it?” she whispers, peering more deeply into my eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I tell her, even surprised at the tightness in my own throat. “I’ll never hurt you, you know,” I promise Sabrina instead.
Her eyebrows raise slightly and she tilts her head, curious. “Okay,” she says, and then her face changes. She realizes where my hands are. “Oh.” Her eyes slant away. “My scars.”
“You’re too beautiful,” I tell her again, even though I’m no longer talking about her naked body, spread on my bed. I’m talking about those scars, too. “And I’ll never let anything like that happen to you again, Sabrina. You have my word.”
Sabrina sighs. “We’ll see.”
I curse myself for souring our moment, which had been light-hearted and experimental, wild and gripping, but now darkened with remorse and painful memories. It must have taken such extraordinary bravery for her to be with any man again.
Though she twists to turn her back on me, I sling my arms around her, holding her safely encased between my muscles, like these impressive arms are all it will take to keep her safe.
And they are, I promise myself. I’ll keep Sabrina Brewster safe with my bare hands…
And we lapse off to sleep like that, with her encased, my front pressed to her back. I would be her second skin if I could. I would take away these scars.
Guts
Sabrina
For the past months, I’ve lived in fear. I’ve been running away, hiding from a monster who should never exist.
No. All my life, I’ve lived in fear – fear of letting my aunt and uncle down—which I eventually did—fear of not being good enough, fear of not being able to make my dream come true or accomplishing anything, for that matter.
I’m done with it.
As I run on the treadmill, feeling the blood rush through my veins, feeling the air fill my lungs, I can feel the seed of courage inside me growing.
Contrary to what Randall said, I still have a lot to fear. Even with him beside me, I’m still afraid. But I’ve decided not to live in fear any longer. I’m not going to cringe in the shadows, punish myself for something that was not my fault, wallow in regret about something that I can’t change, or hold myself back from living.
From now on, I am going to live.
I can’t get rid of the fear, but I’m not going to let the fear of the consequences of my actions keep me from acting. I’m not going to let fear cripple me anymore or hold me back from experiencing new things that could make me happy.
That’s why I gave in to Randall last night. That’s why I had sex with him.
At first, I just wanted to forget the pain. But as he kissed me, as he touched me, as he made me feel beautiful and amazing, I realized I wanted to forget the fear. I wanted to be brave.
I’ve been wanting to have sex with him. Heck, I know that somewhere along the way, I’ve fallen for him. That’s why I wanted to stay. That’s why I let him stop me. I’ve just been denying it, denying myself because of fear. But as the words that he’d been trying to tell me sunk in, as I felt his body against mine, as I saw myself through his eyes, I decided I was done with fear.
I gave in.
And it was worth it. Even now, the memories of his lips pressed to mine, his muscles beneath my palms, of his cock inside me are all still fresh. Just remembering them, I feel a different rush, a surge of excitement, of joy.
I feel alive.
I smile as I turn off the treadmill and grab my towel. I wasn’t really planning on coming here to the gym but as I passed by with my new disposition, I thought, why not? I’m trying to be stronger so becoming fit seems only natural. Also, maybe if I exercise, I won’t be panting so much after sex next time.
As I wipe the sweat off my skin, I already feel stronger. I grab my bottle of water, drinking as I leave the gym. Beside a window, I pause, looking out.
It’s another beautiful day.
The question is: What am I going to do today?
David is in school, and I’ve already decided that I’ll talk to him later when he gets home. Until then, I don’t really have anything in mind.
There are a few possibilities. Read a book. Learn a new recipe from Mrs. Wilson. Play a video game. None of those interest me too much, though. Besides, I feel like I should be doing something more productive.
Just then, I see Zombie walking across the lawn and I remember something I was telling myself I’d do – give him a bath.
***
“This feels good, doesn’t it?” I rub Zombie’s fur as I wash out the suds with the hose.
Just like before, he didn’t like the bath at first, trying to splash me and run away. Finally, though, he’s stopped fighting me, standing still and letting me rinse him.
“I told you a bath’s good for you, especially after yesterday’s adventure. It gets rid of all that dirt from the streets and makes you f
eel clean, which must feel good. It makes you feel cool, which you must need since you have black fur. Plus, look at all this attention I’m giving you.”
He does seem to like the attention now, basking in it.
I pet him behind his ears. “Well, you do deserve something for taking care of David yesterday. Thanks for not leaving his side and not letting him get into trouble.”
He turns to me, giving me a lick.
I chuckle. “You’re just like your master, aren’t you? You may have a streak of mischief but you do have a good heart.”
As I continue rinsing him, I remember the dogs I used to have. We always had dogs on the farm. Some of them stayed around for a long time and I’d be the one bathing and feeding them, sometimes even getting fleas off them.
I sigh. I may have run away from the farm, but I do miss it sometimes. I miss Uncle Ed, even though he always wished I was a boy and thought I was weaker than his sons, even when I could ride a horse better. I miss Aunt Nora, too, even though she loved to order me around and clearly loves her boys more than me. Of course she would. They’re her own blood, after all. And I miss George and Scott. They may have caused me a lot of trouble and played a lot of pranks on me but if not for them, I wouldn’t have trusted myself to be a nanny or know how to deal with David.
I miss them. Actually, at one point during my wedding, I wished they were there. Maybe one day I can see them again and ask them to forgive me, someday when my life isn’t so much a mess. I want to repay them for giving me a family and hopefully, I’ll make something of myself that they can be even remotely proud of.
I finish rinsing Zombie then turn the hose off and step back so he can shake all that water before running off. Of course, most of it lands on me but it’s fine. I’m still in my exercise clothes, and I haven’t showered yet anyway.
So now, I smell like sweat and dog. Great.
Then again, I’ve smelled worse.
Wiping myself again with my towel, I head back inside the house so I can take a shower. Just as I approach the fountain, though, I hear chatter.