Blink

by KL Slater

  ‘Fine,’ I said brightly, ignoring the burn of muscles tightening across my shoulders and neck.

  ‘And when you’ve done that,’ Bryony continued, ‘you can go through the property database and make sure no fool has tagged anything as sold when it’s still available.’

  She turned on her heel and stalked out before I could reply.

  ‘Ouch.’ Jo grimaced. ‘That’s a bit brutal, even for her.’

  44

  Three Years Earlier

  Toni

  It seemed luck was on my side, because it turned out to be one of the busiest afternoons since I’d worked there. There was a steady stream of customers and Jo was pretty much continually occupied.

  ‘You’ll have to leave the archiving until later,’ Bryony sniffed. ‘It’ll wait, I suppose.’

  I processed a bond deposit and booked in a viewing for a student bedsit conversion that had just gone on the market that morning.

  Something had been niggling me about my desk since I’d got into work, and as I reached for a notepad, I suddenly realised what it was: Evie’s photo was missing. I opened my pedestal drawers and peered in, but the photograph was nowhere to be found. Just as I was about to mention it to Jo, a young couple came in.

  ‘We’re interested in the two-bedroomed house that’s just come up for rent on Muriel Crescent in Bulwell,’ the girl said, pushing back a long mousey-brown fringe. ‘Our friend told us about it. Number sixty-one.’

  I smiled and opened my mouth to tell her that I lived on Muriel Crescent, but then thought better of it. I didn’t want them knocking on my door at Christmas when the boiler had bust or something similar.

  ‘Take a seat, please. I’ll just get the details up,’ I said, tapping at my keyboard.

  ‘I’m afraid that property has already gone,’ Bryony said from behind them, seemingly appearing from nowhere. The clients turned around in their chairs to look at her. ‘It went this morning. But I’m sure Toni can find you something similar in the vicinity.’

  ‘Of course,’ I said, frowning. I’d not seen a lettings board on my street and I tended to make browsing new lettings one of my first jobs in the afternoon, so that I had an up-to-date overview for clients. I didn’t know how I’d missed it.

  Within twenty minutes, I’d found two similar properties for the couple and set up viewings for both of them. After they’d left the shop, just out of interest, I submitted a search for properties to let on Muriel Crescent. Nothing had been registered on the database.

  Bryony came through and placed a stack of index cards on the corner of my desk. I got a powerful waft of her sickly-sweet, flowery perfume.

  ‘Can you rewrite these customer contact cards, please, Toni,’ she said without looking at me. ‘They’re getting a bit dog-eared. And I’d like you to at least make a start on the archiving before you go home, please.’

  I glanced at the wall clock. She was overloading me on purpose for the last hour.

  ‘I thought all our customers’ details were computerised?’ I said, lightly.

  I couldn’t help myself. Who, in this day and age, handwrote contact details anymore? I wanted her to know that I knew she was just being an arse for the sake of it.

  ‘Did I ask for your opinion?’ she snapped, her perfectly plucked eyebrows shooting up. ‘When I ask you to do something, I don’t expect to be questioned, Toni.’

  ‘Fine,’ I sighed, reaching for the cards. Then I remembered. ‘Oh, there’s no property on Muriel Crescent on the database,’ I said. ‘Do we have a hard copy of the details?’

  ‘Toni.’ Bryony’s expression was pained, as if I was causing her actual physical discomfort. ‘The property came in and was snapped up by a tenant before it even got to that stage. I dealt with it personally. Now, please get on with your job, you’ve wasted enough time wittering on as it is.’

  ‘Probably another one of her dodgy deals,’ Jo whispered behind her hand after Bryony had disappeared back into her office.

  ‘Have you seen Evie’s photograph?’ I asked her, pointing to the space where it had been. ‘It’s disappeared.’

  Jo pulled a face. ‘I haven’t. That’s strange.’

  ‘It was still here on Saturday when I popped in.’

  ‘Ask Bryony.’ Jo shrugged. ‘It wouldn’t be the first time she’s taken it upon herself to move people’s personal items.’

  A few minutes later, Bryony came through into the office and I asked her if she’d seen the photograph.

  ‘What do you mean, have I seen it?’

  ‘Well, it’s gone from my desk,’ I explained. ‘I just wondered—’

  ‘What you mean is, have I taken it?’

  ‘No, I didn’t mean that, Bryony, I just . . .’ I couldn’t seem to get my words out. She towered above my desk, glaring down at me. I could feel myself becoming flustered, so I backed off. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like I was accusing you. Maybe I’ve mislaid it, I don’t know.’

  She turned without saying another word, pinned something to the customer notice board and walked back into her office.

  * * *

  I worked steadily and got half of the contact cards rewritten.

  Evie would be in her first after-school session with Harriet Watson now. I hoped and prayed Harriet could help counteract the morose mood Evie had slid into. Despite Mum’s reservations, Harriet seemed to be working hard to build up a rapport with my daughter and I felt grateful to her for that.

  Finally, the shop had quietened down, so I took the opportunity to go into the back office to start the archiving task.

  ‘If I’m not out in half an hour, come and get me,’ I told Jo. ‘I might just fall asleep in there, given it’s such an enthralling task.’

  Jo snorted in reply.

  The archived boxes were piled up next to the photocopier, which was noisily churning out property brochures by the dozen.

  There were at least twenty boxes from the previous year, labelled A–C, D–F and so on. I sighed and picked one at random. I bent down to pick it up and screamed as something touched my back, my hand flying up to my throat.

  ‘Sorry!’ Dale backed off, his hands in the air. ‘I’m so sorry, Toni, I didn’t mean to startle you. I did say hello but you didn’t hear me over the noise of the machine.’

  He’d tapped me lightly on the back to let me know he was there. My heartbeat was in overdrive.

  ‘Oh God, I’m turning into a nervous wreck.’ I gave a little laugh. ‘I didn’t hear you, sorry.’

  I looked up at him and felt my face flush as I inhaled. He was wearing that nice aftershave again.

  ‘I wanted to ask if you’ve been OK today,’ he said. He glanced at the door and leaned forward to speak quietly into my ear. ‘I hope it’s not been too . . . difficult?’

  We both knew exactly what – and who – he was referring to.

  ‘It’s been OK,’ I began and then, in a moment of madness, decided to be a little more candid. ‘Bryony has got me doing senseless tasks though, it’s ridiculous. There are far more important things I could be doing.’

  Dale nodded. ‘I hear you. Let me keep an eye on things for the next couple of days. I’d hate to think we’re wasting all your experience.’

  Wasting it? They hadn’t even tapped into it yet.

  ‘I’ve got to refile the archived property details.’ I nodded to the box that had toppled from the pile when I’d jumped back.

  ‘Here, let me get that for you.’ Dale moved past me and stumbled slightly, grasping hold of my shoulder, his face embarrassingly close to mine. We locked eyes for a moment.

  ‘Oh! Excuse me.’ Bryony stood in the doorway. ‘Am I interrupting something here?’

  Dale coughed and stepped away from me.

  ‘I was just helping Toni,’ he said quickly. ‘With the archive boxes.’

  ‘I see.’ Her mouth set into a tight little line and she glared at me. ‘Toni, you can carry on writing the contact cards in the office,’ she said. ‘Leave the archiving for
today.’

  I nodded and walked out of the office without looking at either of them again.

  When I got out into the corridor, the door clicked shut behind me, and as I walked away, I heard raised voices.

  Back in the office I relayed what had happened to Jo. ‘She looked furious,’ I said. ‘Anyone would think she was the owner and Dale was her assistant.’

  ‘You’ve worked out why, haven’t you?’ Jo smirked. ‘Surely you can’t be that naïve.’

  ‘Worked what out?’ Then it came to me. ‘They’re having an affair?’

  Jo had just taken a sip of her tea and nearly choked. She shook her head. ‘Bryony’s got a crush on Dale but the attraction isn’t mutual. Dale was engaged to his childhood sweetheart. They’d just started to plan their wedding when Mia was killed in a car accident. It happened about eighteen months ago.’

  ‘Oh no,’ I whispered. No wonder Dale had been so understanding when I told him about Andrew. He knew exactly how I felt.

  ‘Since then it’s been embarrassing.’ Jo rolled her eyes. ‘Bryony started coming to work dressed to the nines. She’s not even subtle about her intentions anymore.’

  ‘But she’s married,’ I said. ‘You said they were desperate for a child.’

  Jo rolled her eyes again. ‘Like I said, Toni, no offence, but you’re a bit naïve. Don’t you realise that some people just want it all?’

  45

  Three Years Earlier

  The Teacher

  Harriet Watson placed the small dish of seedless grapes and sliced strawberries on the desk in front of Evie and beamed. ‘A nice snack I prepared for you earlier.’

  Evie looked at the fruit but didn’t touch it.

  ‘So, what do you say?’ Harriet prompted her.

  ‘Thank you,’ Evie muttered.

  ‘Well, aren’t you going to eat it?’

  The child picked up a seedless grape, inspected it and popped it into her mouth. ‘We’re going to McDonald’s for tea.’

  Harriet’s stomach burned. ‘Fast food will rot your innards,’ she said tightly. ‘Your mother shouldn’t be taking you to those places.’

  ‘It’s a treat.’ Evie frowned. ‘It’s my favourite.’

  ‘Fast food contains very high levels of sugar and salt,’ Harriet told her. ‘If you eat too much of it, your taste buds will only want that sort of food and you can even become addicted.’

  Evie looked at her. ‘It’s just a treat.’

  ‘Anyway, enough about that. I’d like to get to know you a little better, Evie. You can start by telling me all about your friends at your old school.’

  Evie popped another grape in her mouth and took her time chewing it.

  ‘I’d like to know their names and the sorts of things you used to do together.’

  ‘My best friends are Daisy, Nico and Martha,’ said Evie, perking up a bit. ‘We used to play together at break and eat our lunch together. And we sat next to each other at story time, too.’

  ‘How lovely,’ Harriet remarked. ‘You said they are your best friends but they’re not, anymore, are they?’

  ‘They are,’ Evie replied swiftly. ‘They are my best friends.’

  ‘But you never see them. They live back in Hemel Hempstead.’ Harriet’s voice dropped lower. ‘I heard they have a new little girl as their friend now. I’m afraid she took your place when you moved house.’

  ‘They’re still my friends.’ Evie pushed away the bowl of fruit. ‘Mummy says we might go and see them soon.’

  ‘Oh, I think Mummy might just be saying that to make you feel better.’ Harriet smiled. ‘She’s always promising things that never quite happen, isn’t she?’

  Evie thought for a moment but she didn’t respond.

  ‘You see, it’s no use getting upset about losing your friends, because you left them, didn’t you? You left all your friends behind to come and live here, in Nottingham.’

  ‘I didn’t want to,’ Evie said, knotting her fingers together on top of the desk. ‘I didn’t want to live at Muriel Crescent.’

  ‘But Mummy wouldn’t listen, would she?’

  Evie looked at Harriet, a mournful expression on her face.

  ‘And neither would your Nanny,’ Harriet went on. ‘It was all your Nanny’s idea, you know, taking you away from your friends and moving you up here. Did you know that?’

  Evie gave a slight shake of her head and stared down at her fidgeting hands.

  ‘Mummy and Nanny don’t tell you things because they think you’re just a silly little girl,’ Harriet told her. ‘But I will tell you the truth, Evie. I am your friend and you can always trust me because I know what’s best for you.’

  Evie didn’t speak.

  ‘Do you understand? I am your friend and you can tell me anything you like in our little sessions together.’ Harriet crossed her chest. ‘I won’t tell anyone what you say, I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die. Do you promise, too?’

  Evie sat very still and then nodded.

  ‘Pardon?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Because if you’re a very good girl, I might be able to get your friends to come up to Nottingham and see you,’ Harriet said brightly. ‘Would you like that?’

  Evie nodded.

  ‘Sorry?’ Harriet cupped her ear.

  ‘Yes, Miss Watson.’

  ‘Excellent. Now, tell me about Mummy’s friends.’

  Evie began to hum.

  ‘Kindly stop playing with your fingers and look at me.’

  Evie spread out her palms and pressed them into the table. She looked up at Harriet. ‘She just has Nanny.’

  ‘There are no friends who Mummy meets for coffee or who come to the house to chat with her?’

  Evie considered this and shook her head. ‘Just Nanny.’

  ‘And did Mummy have friends when you lived at your old house?’

  Evie nodded. ‘Paula and Tara.’

  ‘Paula and Tara,’ Harriet repeated. ‘But Mummy doesn’t see them anymore?’

  ‘No. She hasn’t got any friends anymore, just Nanny.’

  ‘Perfect.’ Harriet smiled. ‘Well, isn’t this nice, chatting together, just you and me?’

  ‘Yes,’ Evie replied blankly.

  ‘Perhaps I could be Mummy and Nanny’s friend too.’

  ‘Nanny doesn’t like you,’ Evie said quickly. ‘Because you’re over a bear ring.’

  ‘Is that what she says?’ Harriet’s smile fell away. ‘Overbearing? Now, that is interesting. And did Nanny say anything else about me?’

  ‘She said you weren’t a proper teacher like Miss Akhtar.’

  ‘I’m afraid that’s a common error lots of people make,’ Harriet said, tapping her fingertips on the table. ‘But I am a proper teacher. You know that, don’t you, Evie?’

  Evie studied Miss Watson’s steely eyes and the taut curve of her mouth that was supposed to look like a smile but didn’t.

  ‘Yes,’ she said.

  46

  Three Years Earlier

  Toni

  I turned the car into Muriel Crescent, but instead of pulling up outside the house, I drove around the full crescent, which wasn’t very big, and slowed outside number sixty-one. All the blinds were pulled down and even though there was no to-let sign up, it did have a vacant look about it: nothing on the windowsills, a free newspaper sticking out of the letterbox and the tiny patch of front lawn was slightly overgrown.

  Whoever had snapped up the property before it even came onto the market obviously hadn’t moved in yet.

  I executed a sloppy three-point turn in the road, briefly holding up a black Audi with heavily tinted windows that had just turned into the crescent. Even though I couldn’t see the driver through the darkened glass, I raised my hand in apology, but the car motored by at speed as if to make a point, as if they were furious to be delayed for even twenty seconds.

  As soon as I got through the door, I said hello to Evie, kissing the top of her head. She grunted, already engrossed in
building a Lego structure.

  Mum put down the TV guide she’d been reading, stood up and scooped up her car keys and coat.

  ‘There’s no need for you to rush off,’ I said, although I wasn’t in the right frame of mind for making amends, especially when Mum was obviously still in a mood. ‘Unless you’ve got somewhere you need to be?’

  She stopped for a moment and stared straight ahead, as though she was having an internal battle. Then she put down her coat. ‘I’ll have a quick drink with you.’ She followed me into the kitchen, placing her car keys on the worktop. ‘I’ll be truthful, Toni, I’m finding it difficult to be around you. I’m worried about the signs I’m seeing but you don’t want to listen.’

  Not this again; we’d already discussed it to death. I filled the kettle and turned it on at the wall.

  ‘I do listen, Mum,’ I sighed. ‘I agree that Evie’s been a bit withdrawn but she’ll soon come out the other side again. She’s had some big changes to deal with, it’s a natural reaction.’

  ‘I’m not talking about Evie,’ Mum said. ‘I’m talking about you.’

  I stopped reaching up into the cupboard for mugs and looked at her.

  ‘You keep forgetting things and you fly off the handle at the slightest thing.’

  ‘Have you got an example?’ I challenged her. Talk about exaggerating, Mum was an expert at it.

  ‘Well, you’ve told me the wrong times for picking Evie up, for starters.’

  ‘No, I think the school – Harriet Watson – gave me the wrong times to begin with.’

  ‘And then you lose your temper and forget you’ve done it,’ Mum continued, ignoring my line of defence. ‘Like when you threw that vase at the wall because the television was on too loud and woke you up. You need to go to see the doctor, Toni, it’s not natural you being so tired and irritable all the time. Sometimes you can barely focus and that’s not fair on Evie.’

  Something gripped at me hard inside my chest. For a few seconds I couldn’t say anything. I knew I’d come to a crossroads. This was my chance to admit to Mum I’d been relying on the sedatives to cope.