After the Ending

by Lindsey Fairleigh

  “Son of a bitch!” I sat down on the bed, working up to a really good scream, when knuckles rapped on the door.

  Sarah bounced in with a stack of clothes. “Hey, stranger. How’re you feeling?” She busied herself by placing my clean laundry in the wardrobe.

  “Thanks, Mom,” I said sarcastically, feeling completely useless.

  She faced me, wearing a sympathetic smile. Her eyes were prettier than I remembered—chocolate-brown with long, dark lashes fanning around her eyes. With her elegant angles and bubbly personality, it was no wonder Biggs liked her so much.

  Her features twisted as she took in my appearance. “Your swelling’s gone down a little, but your bruising’s gotten a lot worse.”

  “Great…” I sighed, making my sides ache, and flung myself back onto the bed. I instantly regretted it.

  “You don’t look like you’ve been resting,” Sarah said, and I could feel her eyes on me.

  “Of course I have. I’ve been doing absolutely nothing all day.”

  “Pacing and brooding isn’t resting, Zoe. And you really shouldn’t be walking around on your ankle. Why don’t you sit and sketch or something? It might help clear your mind.”

  “How do you know I’ve been pacing?” I asked defensively.

  Sarah grinned and picked up my hairbrush off the desk. “Cooper’s been watching your shadow under the door all morning.” She motioned for me to sit up, pulled my hair out of its elastic band, and began brushing. “You need to rest. You’ve been through a lot and—”

  “I can’t stand being useless,” I complained. “I feel like I should be doing something. I hate being coddled.” Her final stroke through my tangled locks jerked my head back. “That isn’t helping my mood either. I can brush my own hair,” I snipped.

  “Then do it, because you look horrible.” She relented and tossed the brush onto the bed, ignoring my glare. “I’ll leave you alone, but you’re just being—”

  “Zoe,” Sanchez said, finishing Sarah’s sentence as she strode into the room.

  “Yeah, sure, that’s what I was gonna say.” Sarah studied me appraisingly. “Not that you will, but let me know if you need anything.” Shaking her head, she walked out of the room, shutting the heavy metal door behind her.

  Sanchez stared at me, her eyes narrow slits of contempt and judgment. “You don’t look like you’ve been resting.”

  “Yeah, so I’ve heard,” I muttered, straightening the wool blanket beneath me.

  Please leave me alone, I thought, looking around the room for something to focus on—Sanchez still made me feel uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure why she was in my room, but I wanted her to leave. Unfortunately, she sat down at the edge of the bed and just kept looking at me.

  Finally, she said, “I need to talk to you about something.”

  I raised my eyes to hers, waiting nervously.

  “Dave told us what happened.”

  Groaning, I dropped my head into my hands. Here we go…everyone knows now. I suddenly felt like a criminal waiting for the jury to decide my fate. “Us? So everyone knows?”

  “I’m not completely sure. We haven’t had a group discussion about it or anything. I don’t know who’d believe it anyway. But it doesn’t matter.” Her eyes softened, and I thought I sensed sympathy. “You’re safe with us, and we won’t let anyone else try to harm you, no matter what.” I was surprised to hear sincerity and conviction in her voice.

  “Of course we won’t,” Harper chimed in as the door swung open. He winked at me and came over to kiss my forehead. “How’re you feeling, Baby Girl?”

  Relieved, I glanced up at him and smiled, but the expression faltered as my busted lip pulled apart. At seeing my discomfort, Harper winced and set a tray with water and meds down on the nightstand. “I’ll try not to tease you while you’re healing. You look too pathetic.” My mood lightened; I already felt better in his presence.

  “You’re not the only one who’s experiencing these…changes.” I blanched—it was the second time I’d heard Sanchez’s voice in my head. When I looked back up at her, searching her expressionless face, I noticed the dark shadows around her eyes. She looked exhausted and disheveled, unlike her usual polished self.

  Okay, what the hell’s going on!? I screamed at her with my mind, but she didn’t answer. Regardless, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her. I felt anxiety pouring out of her, charging my skin like electricity.

  “There’s something I…,” Harper began, but his words were drowned out by whatever was happening between Sanchez and me.

  “I think Harper can help us,” Sanchez explained. “I haven’t told him about me yet, but he has theories about your unique skill. We can’t be the only ones experiencing these changes.”

  Thank you! I’m not crazy! I knew that a few of Dani’s companions were experiencing something similar, but reading about it wasn’t as reassuring as witnessing it. I finally had concrete proof that what was happening to me was real—my sanity was no longer in question. I wanted to cry with relief.

  Can you hear me? I attempted to ask Sanchez, but again there was no answer.

  Oblivious to our mental conversation, Harper watched me expectantly. “Did you hear what I said?” he asked.

  Crap. I’d forgotten to listen to him. “Sorry, my head’s hurting. I’m having a hard time focusing,” I lied as I rubbed my temple for added theatrics. When I looked back up at Sanchez, her face was inscrutable.

  “I said ‘There’s something I need to tell you’,” Harper repeated.

  I looked from him to Sanchez with dread. Now what?

  Harper stood by my bed with his arms crossed, and before he even spoke, I knew I wouldn’t like what he was about to say. I suddenly wanted to throw myself onto the bed in a temper tantrum and sob because everything seemed so shitty. But I refrained, knowing that such a reaction would be unbecoming of a twenty-six-year-old.

  “I’m not going to freak out if that’s what you’re waiting for, H,” I fibbed.

  “Good, then you should know we’re staying here for a while. It’s too dangerous to travel during the winter.” He opened a bottle of ibuprofen and handed me three capsules along with a glass of water.

  I swallowed them begrudgingly. My throat was still sore from screaming in the woods. As I sipped the water, I wondered how the postponement would alter my plans to meet up with Dani and Jason.

  Sanchez finally broke the silence. “We know you’re eager to meet up with your friends at Peterson.”

  Seeking privacy, I stood and walked over to the window.

  “We’re going to announce it tomorrow during breakfast, when we’re all together. We’ll go over our plans with the group and see who’s on board,” Harper explained.

  “I’m adamant about staying,” Sanchez told me. “Our group just got a hell of a lot bigger. It’s not smart to keep traveling now—especially when we have everything we need right here.”

  It was sound justification, but I still didn’t like it. “You need to do what you need to do.”

  I heard Harper’s heavy footsteps as he approached me. “I’ll come get you when it’s time to eat. Rest up in the meantime, okay?” He placed his hand on my good shoulder and squeezed lightly. I could feel his concern, and I was comforted to know he cared. There are worse things than staying here a little longer, I admitted. When he ordered me to lie down and stop pacing, I groaned but promised I would.

  Then they were gone. Once again, I was alone with my thoughts.

  23

  DANI

  When I woke, the warmth of the summer sun was seeping into my skin. A gust of tangy sea air caressed me, cooling my body from the heat. My whereabouts were more than a little disconcerting, considering I’d fallen asleep in a barn…in the dead of winter.

  I opened my eyes and found that I was sunbathing on my favorite stretch of beach near my coastal hometown. Looking to my left, I fully expected to find Zoe’s curvy, bikini-clad body reclining languorously. We only ever came to this particular
spot together, but my best friend was nowhere in sight.

  Confused, I sat up and looked around. Everything was exactly as it should’ve been, from the Pacific Ocean’s rhythmically crashing waves to the rocky outcropping erupting from the sand several yards away—everything except the tall man silhouetted in the bright morning sky.

  As the man Zoe had dubbed MG walked toward me, I should have been nervous and panicking, ready to run away. But I wasn’t. I was annoyed.

  “You!” I exclaimed, hopping up from my sandy towel. I stomped toward him, ignoring the excessive sway the sand lent to my usual stride. In my little purple and green polka-dot bikini, my strut was positively strip club worthy.

  “Me?” His smooth voice was growing familiar from our dreamtime rendezvous. He leered, happily taking in my state of undress.

  “Yes, you! What the hell? Repeating ‘LEARN’ and surrounding me by a bunch of molesty fog…that’s so not okay! Especially because I dreamt you up to begin with…which means it was really me doing it to myself…” I was growing increasingly weirded out by my own subconscious.

  With raised eyebrows and an unsuccessful attempt at not smiling, MG responded, “Is that how it came through? Interesting. And what exactly do you mean by ‘molesty’?”

  “You know, your fog was totally feeling me up…everywhere. And making me feel…things. It was very annoying. And you should already know all of this. You’re in my head. Hello!”

  He was most definitely smirking. “Are you saying my ‘fog’ turned you on?” He took several steps, closing the distance between us.

  As soon as he was within arm’s reach, I remembered the last time I’d met him face-to-face in a dream, the night Cece had tried to slice me open. “I don’t want you to kiss me,” I blurted.

  MG barked a laugh. “Alright. I’m here to teach you. I suppose I can do that without touching you.” He finished with a deep, dramatic sigh.

  Suddenly, I was completely frustrated with my stupid brain for continually conjuring the strange man in my dreams. “Seriously?” I yelled. “Why do I keep dreaming of you? I don’t even know anyone like you! You chase away my rotting boyfriend, kiss me, and tell me cryptic things. What the hell?! My brain is so demented! Maybe I really am one of the Crazies. Ahhhh…this is so incredibly, pathetically me! I dream you up, Mr. You-Are-Ready. Mr. LEARN. Mr. I’m-Here-To-Teach-You. Stop laughing at me!” I shrieked the last words like a banshee.

  “Wow,” he said with a chuckle. “You’re adorable when you’re angry.”

  Jack appeared beside me, and together we stalked off toward the ocean, seeking comfort from its familiarity. Staring into the endless, ever-changing, blue-gray abyss, I heard the coarse sand compacting under MG’s footsteps as he approached. For a while he said nothing, standing close enough that I could feel hints of his breath on my neck. Irritated, I wondered if he was staring at my bikini-covered butt.

  Beside me, Jack began a low, steady growl.

  MG heaved a lengthy sigh. “I’m real, Dani.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I’m real. Not a creation of your sleeping mind. I live. I breathe. I sleep and have my own dreams.”

  “Right,” I scoffed, turning away from the rolling surf to face him. After staring into his sincere, sky-blue eyes, I laughed and patted his cheek. To prove how not-real he was, I kissed him…or at least I tried to.

  With a frustrated grunt, MG gripped my shoulders and held me away from him. “I have to teach you some extremely important things, and I can’t do my job if you think I’m some fantasy. Not that I’d mind really…” His mind seemed to wander briefly. “But I have to teach you! So,” he started, gritting his teeth and squeezing his eyes shut like he was concentrating on something, “when you wake, it’ll be 3:23 in the afternoon where you are, and your dog will be standing beside you, whimpering at nothing.”

  “What?” I asked, unbelievably confused.

  “If I’m right, you’ll know I’m real. I couldn’t possibly be a creation of your pretty little red head because you don’t know those things. You couldn’t know those things, not while you’re sleeping. I’ll see you next time.”

  “But…,” I mumbled to a mouthful of hay. I was awake. I was peeved. And I was staring into the worried face of my beloved, whimpering dog. Crap! What time is it?

  I hastily checked the watch I’d scavenged several days earlier. It was 3:23 p.m.—exactly the time MG had predicted. Double crap! Maybe it’s just a coincidence…or maybe he is real. That’s totally insane!

  Thinking through the situation, I realized it wasn’t really that crazy—especially considering Zoe’s unnatural new talent. So why couldn’t a man spend his spare time wandering through people’s dreams? Or…I’m losing my mind.

  Sitting up, I shook my head to clear the mental cobwebs and immediately regretted both actions. “Owww,” I groaned. “I think I’m broken.”

  Every muscle, bone, and inch of connective tissue ached relentlessly. I considered braving Aunt Janet’s house-shaped tomb in search of prescription pain killers, but I decided a half-dozen over-the-counter anti-inflammatories would do just as well. Pushing through the pain, I ate and got ready in record time and started hobbling around the barn in search of useful items—like a pad for my unbelievably sore, possibly bruised, butt.

  It had been about six years since I’d last ridden a horse, and though I kept myself in okay shape, nothing could prepare the body for horseback riding like, well, horseback riding. The last time I’d ridden, I’d taken Grams, Zoe, Jason, and Tom, their dad, on a farewell trail ride. The Bodega Bay Riders’ Ranch, my summer employer, had a tradition of comp-ing a family and friends’ joyride for employees as a parting gift. I’d worked there for four consecutive years, so they’d been especially generous in their offerings. The five of us had spent the entire day, with a picnic lunch, riding around the coast and hills surrounding our little town.

  Zoe and I had both been shocked when Jason had shown interest in the outing. He’d been home on leave for a few weeks and had overheard us talking about the adventure.

  “Can I come along?” he’d asked.

  Zoe and I, in the midst of consuming copious amounts of chocolate chip cookie dough, had just stared at him in awe. Jason never wanted to spend time with us. Not ever. He’d always preferred hanging out with girls he could have sex with. Which hasn’t really changed…

  “Uhhh,” I’d said, sounding completely idiotic.

  Zoe, being her amazing self, had exclaimed, “Uh…yeah!” Under the table her feet had jabbed into my shins excitedly—she’d witnessed every moment of my obsession with her older brother and had known I would want him to join us, desperately…even if I’d been momentarily speechless.

  And so, we’d all ended up on the trail together in a day of simple joy and relaxation. Jason had been friendlier and flirtier than I’d ever seen him. It was the last time I saw him before I met Cam.

  And with that errant thought, my mind tried to unravel into emotional chaos. Cam is dead…and Callie…and Aunt Janet…

  No! I couldn’t let myself lose it. Not now…not here… I needed to do something to avoid the dark thoughts. They loomed on my mind’s horizon like a mass of enemy troops, their attack inescapable. It wasn’t a question of if, but when.

  I filled the afternoon—and my disobediently wandering mind—with saddling Wings and loading up our bags. Appearing to sink into the glittering ocean, the sun set as we left the familiar ranch and plodded onto the shoulder of the deserted highway.

  No longer occupied with menial tasks, my brain was free to wander once again. It began slowly, the depression lurking around the edges of my mind like a thief in the shadows. Longing thoughts of the world before the Virus crept in, followed by heartbreaking images of death. Before I knew it, I was under mental attack. Every ounce of my being wallowed in loneliness and despair.

  Cam, Callie, Aunt Janet…everyone is dead…everyone except the people I just cut myself off from. What if something happens to the few
people I have left?

  How long will it take me to get to Zoe this way? Was this a huge mistake? Should I have stolen a car? Where would I have found gas? What am I even doing?

  I shook my head, trying to dispel the questions unraveling in my mind.

  What will I find in Bodega Bay? That Grams is dead? And Zoe’s dad? Will anyone still be alive?

  What if Cece lied? What if she goes after Jason anyway? What if she already did? If he died…was dead, I knew I’d never be the same. The Dani who’d recovered from Cam’s death, from the death of the world, would cease to exist. I would become the personification of revenge and vengeance, misery and death.

  My next thought stole my breath like a kick to the chest. Am I in love with Jason?

  The pieces of Cam I carried in my heart began to wail and beat their imaginary fists against the inside of my ribcage. How could you abandon me like this? How could you love him? I just died! Did you even love me?

  No. No. No! I loved you. I know it. I wanted to spend forever with you. But you died!

  I suddenly despised myself. Maybe I deserve loneliness. If I stay away from everyone, I can’t betray, hurt, or abandon them. It’ll be as if I never existed. They’re better off without me. With that final thought the attack lessened, reducing to a slow barrage near the surface of my awareness. I lost myself in the rhythm of Wings’s canter.

  In the faint light of pre-dawn, I spotted a sign through bleary eyes: WOODSIDE CAMPGROUND, NEXT RIGHT. It had been another long night, and though I was tempted to push through the final twenty-five miles to Bodega Bay, we needed to stop. I was hurting—badly—and the animals were showing obvious signs of weariness.

  “What do you guys think?” I asked my animal companions after dismounting. The horse whinnied and bobbed her head while Jack rolled onto his back and stuck his feet in the air. He was playing dead. My sarcasm, it seemed, had rubbed off on my dog. Delightful…

  “Let’s get you unsaddled and find something to eat,” I told an exhausted Wings. Her stamina was impressive—far better than mine—but even she looked utterly pooped.