Drifting into Darkness

by La Rocca, J. M.

  Copyright 2014 by J.M. La Rocca

  Cover Design by Sharee Faircloth of Sharee Faircloth Creative

  Photographer: Sarah Thompson – stdesignandphotos.com

  Models: Lindsay and Brandon Fralick

  Editing by Becky Johnson of Hot Tree Editing

  Interior design by Indie-Vention

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owner.

  Dedication

  To those who are afraid to follow their dreams.

  “The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this:

  Decide what you want.”

  -Ben Stein

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty One

  Chapter Twenty Two

  Chapter Twenty Three

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Other works by J.M. La Rocca

  ONE

  I pulled up to the Admissions office around noon, which just happened to be the hottest time of the day. It wouldn’t have been so bad if my run-down Honda had an A/C that worked properly. It blew cool air, but just barely. Despite it being on full blast, I still had sweat building on my forehead and upper lip as I parked my car.

  I probably should have taken my dad up on his offer to fix it, but I was being stubborn and wanted to get the money to fix it myself. The problem was I had no money. So if I was going to survive this southern heat, I’d have to find a job soon so I could fix the damn thing.

  I pushed open my door and the Texas air enveloped me with its hot humidity. Growing up in Chicago, I wasn’t used to this kind of weather. It was hot in the summer, but nothing like down south. It was almost unbearable. Now I knew why so many girls were wearing next-to-nothing as I walked up to the entrance of the building. They were trying to avoid looking like they just ran through torrential rain, kind of how I looked at the moment. I should have known better then to wear jeans in my hot-ass car in this crappy heat, but I didn’t and now I was paying for it.

  I picked at my jeans, which were sticking to me like a second skin as I made my way into the building. The cool air that swirled around me was a welcome sensation to the perspiration that had built on my skin just walking from my car. I shook and a chill came over me, causing goose bumps to form on my skin.

  Lifting my hand, I wiped at the sweat on my forehead and upper lip to look somewhat presentable as I walked toward the stairs that had a sign on the wall that read Admissions. Maroon and white littered the building to represent their school colors, not the blue and red I was used to seeing, just another reminder that I wasn’t in Chicago anymore.

  As I made it to the top floor, my eyes widened at how many people were sitting and waiting to be seen. I would definitely be here all day and I was glad I didn’t have any other plans.

  There was a sign posted on the wall for new or returning students to sign in. The sign-in sheet was on a clipboard by the clerk’s window, so I walked over and signed in, giving the lady behind the glass a small smile.

  “Are ya a returning student or new?” she asked with a smile.

  “I’m new. I’m transferring,” I tried to say softly. Although almost everyone was carrying on with conversations or playing with their phones, I saw several heads turn my way. I wondered if it was the new or the transfer that piqued their interest.

  The clerk smiled at me and handed me a clipboard with some papers. “I’ll need ya to fill all this information out, dear. Here’s your number,” she said, handing me a triangle shape piece of paper with the number three eighty-seven on it. “When your number is called, go through that door over there with your clipboard,” she pointed to the door on the far right of the room.

  “Great, thank you.” I nodded and gave her a smile, and then turned to find a seat.

  There were people standing along the walls and some who were sitting on the floor. I must have come on one of the first days to sign up for classes because I couldn’t see any open seats for me to sit. Letting out a sigh, I walked to the left, deciding I’d find a place to sit on the floor. I didn’t want to look like an idiot by standing there looking for a seat.

  On my way toward the wall, I heard someone shout, “Hey, new girl!”

  Coming to a stop, I slowly turned to see a petite blonde girl waving her hand, beckoning me over. I could feel my cheeks turn red as I made my way over to the smiling blonde. I wasn’t a shy person, but having so many eyes on me made me feel uncomfortable.

  “Hey, don’t sit on the floor. People actually spit on it, chewin’ tobacco and all. So gross,” she said with a southern accent, making a disgusted face as she picked up her purse from the chair next to hers. “Here ya go. Sit here to fill out your forms.”

  I smiled at her gesture. “Thanks.” I gratefully sat down and stowed my purse on the floor by my feet. I debated on just leaving it in my lap after what she told me about the spitting, but I needed my lap to rest the clipboard on and fill out the forms.

  “I’m Lisa Presby,” she said, still turned toward me.

  “Sadie Tager,” I answered with a smile.

  “So, Sadie, where’re ya transferrin’ from?”

  I knew people had heard me, but I didn’t think they had heard me all the way over here on the other side of the room. I must not have talked as quietly as I thought.

  “I just moved here from Chicago.”

  Her eyes widened. “Wow, really? That’s quite a move. Did ya move here just to go to A&M?”

  I contemplated what I was going to say. I honestly didn’t really feel like talking to anyone. I just wanted to fill out my forms and get this day over with. I missed my best friend Erin. I hated we weren’t going to be doing the college thing together anymore. I tried not to blame my dad for us having to start over, but he was the reason we moved. Let’s just say that my dad’s zipper slipped open and a nurse he worked with just so happened to fall on his dick. When word spread of his infidelity, he explained it was an error in judgment and that it would never happen again. I don’t think my mom really forgave him. I think she just didn’t want to throw away thirty years of marriage. Things were normal for a little while, but then the chick turned into a stalker, which turned our lives upside down. It caused my dad to lose his job and us to find a new place to live.

  “No, actually, I just moved here with my parents. My dad’s a new surgeon over at St. Joe’s,” I said as I picked up the pen that was attached to the clipboard, thinking she’d see me about to fill out the form
s and she’d leave me alone.

  I was wrong.

  “Oh, wow, cool, what year are ya, if ya don’t mind me asking?”

  I filled out my name and address on the form before turning to her. “I’m a sophomore,” I replied, looking back to my forms. I had taken a year off after high school trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, so I was only a year older than most of the sophomores here.

  “Me too. What’s your major?”

  I stopped writing and turned to look at her with a raised eyebrow. She laughed and shook her head.

  “I know. I’m sorry. I’ll let ya fill out your forms. All my friends came yesterday and picked out their classes while I was at work. So sitting here all by myself with no one to talk to is drivin’ me nuts.”

  I frowned at her. Last year, Erin and I went to registration together. It was my first year and her second and I didn’t want to go alone. My mother even insisted on coming with me this time, but I told her I wanted to do it on my own. “Well, that’s kind of crappy. They couldn’t wait until you could go too?”

  She pursed her lips and looked down at the floor. “I wouldn’t say they are my best friends or anything. They always make plans without me, so I’m used to it.”

  “I wouldn’t call them friends then,” I said sitting up straighter in my chair.

  She let out a little snort and looked up at me. “Yeah, you’re right. They really aren’t. It’s more like they want to keep me around because of my family’s friendship with the Johnsons and because I’m dating one of the Johnson boys.”

  I raised an eyebrow at her, not having a clue whom she was talking about. “Who?”

  “Oh, right,” she laughed at herself. “The Johnson boys are notorious aroun’ these parts. But you’re right. The girls aren’t really friends.”

  That was ridiculous. “Why do you even hang out with them then?”

  She looked up at me bewildered. “Honestly, I have no idea. I guess it’s because my boyfriend Derek is always so busy with the family business so I have nothing else to do and no one else to hang with. Once they came along and befriended me, it just seemed convenient.”

  I turned back to my paperwork, hunching over to fill out some more of the information. I kind of felt bad for Lisa. It would suck not having any real friends. However, I didn’t really have any room to talk. I was in a new state with no friends at all. My life was utterly boring at the moment.

  “So, did you leave a boyfriend back in Chicago?”

  I stopped writing as my heart skipped a beat and a feeling of dread washed over me. This was a touchy subject for me. I didn’t like to talk about it. “Nope, no one is waiting in the wings for me.”

  “Well, that’s good. I hear long distance relationships are really hard anyway. I couldn’t imagine having to deal with that. There are some really hot southern guys around here though,” she giggled and wiggled her eyebrows at me.

  I smiled at her politely. I tried to focus back on filling out my form, but now I was thinking about Jason. We had been together for six years. Had, as in past tense, as in we are no longer together. It was easy to comprehend in my mind, but harder to comprehend in my heart. He was my first everything. We’d been together throughout high school. We made plans. We even talked about how many kids we would want one day and what their names would be, but all of that changed five months ago.

  After we graduated high school, Jason talked about joining the military instead of going to college. I didn’t agree with it. I hated the idea of him being gone for long periods. We had never been apart for more than a week. We had fought about it a lot, but he ultimately changed his mind and got a full time job instead. He proposed to me a couple of months after graduation and we even looked for a place to live together. Everything seemed great.

  A little over a year later, he took me out to dinner to tell me that he had decided to enlist with the Navy. I was devastated and hurt that he would make that decision without discussing it with me first. We were engaged for crying out loud. He was ultimately changing my life along with his and it hurt that he wasn’t thinking about my feelings at all.

  He told me that everything would be okay. He was doing it so we could have a better life together. He wanted to be able to provide for me and give me things that I was used to getting from my parents. He always thought he wasn’t good enough for me, but I always told him he was wrong. I loved him with everything I had. Nothing would change that. But it was no use. He had already signed all the documents and was scheduled to go to boot camp that following week.

  Over the three months he was at boot camp, things began to change. I could tell by the way he talked to me. I asked him about it, but he simply said that he had a lot on his mind and that boot camp was wearing him out. I understood what he was saying, but I had that knowing feeling in the pit of my stomach that something wasn’t right.

  When boot camp was over and he came back home, I tried to make things the way they were before he left. He wasn’t making it easy for me though. One day he called me up first thing in the morning and told me he needed to talk. I knew then things were going to go downhill. He told me he felt like he hadn’t really lived his life because he’d always been in a relationship. He felt like he needed his freedom, some time on his own to figure out what he wanted in life.

  I was completely bewildered, especially since I recalled him saying he wanted to join the military so he could provide a better life for us. It was as if six years meant nothing to him. I was heartbroken. There were times I felt like I couldn’t go on with my life. Erin even stayed with me for a few days on my mother’s request because I wouldn’t come out of my room. I was missing classes and my grades were beginning to drop. My mom thought I needed my friend and she was right. Erin didn’t do much, but I didn’t need her too. She was just there for support. I didn’t want to deal with it all on my own or with my mother because I knew she didn’t really like him anyway. I didn’t need to hear her tell me ‘I told you so’, or ‘you should have seen this coming’.

  I found out from Erin a few days later that he was being stationed in Louisiana. Turns out, she found out from some girls, who had apparently been keeping his bed warm since he threw me out of it. I was hurt beyond belief. The only thing I could think about was that he wanted to break things off with me so he could have freedom to sleep with other girls. So I did the one thing I thought was right at the time and only because I was hurt and pissed off to the point that I didn’t even recognize myself anymore; I slept with all his friends.

  Did it make me feel better? No. Did people start calling me a slut? Of course, but at the time, I really didn’t care.

  Then, all that shit with my dad happened. When I was told we would be moving, I was completely on board. Moving seemed like the best option for me because everywhere I turned, something reminded me of Jason. I couldn’t handle it.

  “Lisa Presby.”

  I lifted my head, snapping out of the past, to see a woman standing outside the door leading to the back for registration. Lisa stood from her seat and turned to me.

  “I’m going to the family diner after I register. Would you like to come? I figure you’re new and all, and we could chat about what there is to do around here. Plus, Derek won’t be meeting me until after four and I’m starvin’,” she said, rubbing her stomach.

  I really needed to start looking for a job, but I was hungry too. It wouldn’t hurt to get an idea what there was to do here either. I shrugged my shoulders and nodded. “Sure.”

  “Okay, great,” she smiled. “I’ll be done before you, so I’ll wait for you in the lobby downstairs by the front doors. See ya in a few,” she said as she turned and headed toward the registration door.

  Looking down at my forms, I continued to fill out all the information, doing my best to get Jason off my mind. I hated when he consumed my thoughts. It was a hard habit to break, especially since we were together for so long, but I was determined that this move would bring a new Sadie. I wouldn’t
let the past dictate my future.

  Two

  Registration took longer than I thought it would. The counselor was trying to push me towards making a decision on a degree. I wouldn’t relent on my decision to stay with my general studies. After a disapproving look, the same look I always got from my mother, she turned in her desk chair and started sifting through all my transferred classes on her computer to see what would transfer, and what I’d have to take again. Thankfully, everything transferred except for my math. I wasn’t happy about it since math wasn’t my favorite subject, but if there was nothing I could do about it, then there was no point in bitching about it.

  I walked down the stairs leading to the lobby where Lisa said she’d be waiting for me. She sat at one of the benches, with her back up against the wall, and her head bowed down typing away on her phone. She seemed like someone I would enjoy hanging out with. Nobody would ever replace Erin, but I was glad to have befriended someone so soon. It made the thought of summer not seem so bad.

  Sensing my approach, Lisa lifted her head from her phone and looked up at me with a smile. “Hey, did ya get all the classes ya wanted?” She stood up and we walked toward the exit.

  I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m only taking general right now, so a class is a class to me.” We walked a few feet and then stopped under the pavilion that was attached to the building. “What about you? What are you majoring in?”

  “Oh, I’m majorin’ in physical therapy. I only signed up for two of the hard classes, like Anatomy Two and The Lab. I’m trying to spread it out so I don’t fry my brain.”

  I smiled at her and nodded my head in agreement.

  “I’m just parked over there,” she said, pointing to the left side of the parking lot. “Where’re you?”

  “I’m over there too.”

  We both walked out from under the pavilion, and I again wished I had dressed differently. I should have stopped off in the bathroom before walking outside to check my hair and makeup. I was sure I looked like a sweaty mess.