by T. S. Hugo
Billy paused and could see the cold breath leave their mouths like smoke. “Emily?”
“Yes, it is me Billy. I have been looking for you.”
“Why?”
“I am trying to understand why myself. It is as if someone is pointing me in your direction.”
“My direction is a dead end,” Billy scoffed.
“Only you can change that.”
“Why should I? What is the point now? Maybe I like how things are.”
“You know that is not true. This isn’t the way that it was meant to be.”
“Who are you to say,” Billy replied angrily. “You are not the one who murdered your brother.”
“You didn’t murder him,” Emily replied softly.
“I may as well have. It was my fault.”
“And do you think this is the way to atone for your sins? You are throwing your life away. Do you think your brother would want you to live in this state? I knew Jimmy. I know what he would say.”
“And what would that be?” Billy hissed as tears filled his eyes.
“He would want you to live a life that would make him proud. Do something that he would have done. That is the way to honor his memory.”
Billy hung his head. “It is too late for me.”
“Why do you say that? It is never too late to make amends.”
“And do you expect me to go home?”
“Why not?”
“I killed their son.”
“You are their son Billy. They have forgiven you. It was an accident. Don’t you remember that you were both drinking? What if your brother had been the one driving? Would you want to see him in your situation if your roles had been reversed?”
“I thought we could make it home. I didn’t think we had drank that much. We were just a few miles from home. It was raining and hard to see the road.”
“You made a mistake but you didn’t mean to hurt your brother. Do you believe that he would forgive you?”
“I don’t know… I took his life.”
“In your heart, you know he forgives you. You also know that he is saddened by what you have become. You need to prove that you deserve his forgiveness.”
“How can I?” he sobbed.
“First we need to take the first step by taking you home.”
Billy did not speak as they drove to his parent’s house. He jittered from nerves as they waited for the door to be answered.
“Hi Emily,” Billy’s mother said before she noticed her son standing behind her. “My God, Billy.” His mother embraced him tightly as they both sobbed.
Emily monitored Billy as he progressed through the steps of his recovery from alcohol. They would meet after she got out of work and take long walks along a wooded path. Springtime was beginning and the leaves and blossoms were beginning to show signs of life.
“How are you feeling Billy?”
“I think I am doing better. Since rehab, I have craved alcohol less and less. My counselor told me that the alcohol was just a way for me to escape from reality. He said that I need to face my problems once and for all.”
“He is right. You need to forgive yourself to put this behind you.”
“It is not so easy.”
“I know but you have to fill the void in your life. You need to find a reason to live.”
“Why Emily?”
“Why what?”
“Why did you come and find me?”
“I truly believe that I was sent.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think that God sent me. He wants to save you.”
“Is there still a chance for that?”
“Of course. He forgave all kinds of sinners. Don’t you remember the murderer who was crucified with him? He will forgive you but you need to forgive yourself.”
Emily was awakened by the sound of the telephone ringing. Who would be calling this early in the morning, she wondered. She was surprised by the sound of Reverend Smith’s voice on the other end.
“I hope I didn’t wake you Emily. I just have this idea that won’t allow me to rest. Could you meet me at the park around noon?”
Children played with frisbees and kicked balls as Emily approached the Reverend who was relaxing on a bench shaded by a large willow tree.
“Thanks for coming. Since we met many months ago about Billy, I have been thinking about the problems of the homeless and downtrodden. There are so many like Billy who could be saved. They just need someone to guide them.”
“I think you would be great at that Reverend.”
“Oh not me,” he smiled. “I was thinking of someone who could relate to their troubles. I was thinking of Billy.”
“As a type of mentor?”
“Yes, as soon as he is well enough in his own recovery. The church has funding that could help with this project.”
“I think that would be a great idea. I was thinking about how he could fill the void in his life. You have answered that prayer.”
“God filled the void, not I. Perhaps, there is another void in his life that you could also fill in time.”
“What do you mean Reverend?”
I remember you two as youngsters. There was always a strong bond and connection. Those blessings don’t just vanish. It may not have been just for Billy’s sake that God brought you to him.”
Emily blushed. “I never thought of it that way.”
“Just keep an open heart. You are so good for him.”
Months later, Billy and Emily walked through an old building that had been purchased to house the new center.
“This will need a lot of work,” Billy lamented.
“If I remember correctly, someone used to be pretty handy with tools.”
“You remember that?”
“Of course I do.” They smiled at each other and their hands touched momentarily.
“I guess I will have to get started soon if the center will open by the end of the month.”
“Well you have one helper.”
“I do?”
“Of course. I can be your assistant.”
Billy laughed. “I can’t imagine you taking a backseat to anyone.”
Emily returned the laugh. “I guess you didn’t forget!”
Billy felt excitement on the day that the center was scheduled to open. The Reverend had gathered a small group to commemorate the event. Billy’s parents and Emily were among those present. This was the first accomplishment that Billy had achieved in years. He hung a plaque near the door that read “The Jimmy Broderick Center”.
“Your brother would be proud,” Emily caught him off guard.
“You think so?”
“I know so. You created something in his honor that will help so many people. Can you let go now?” Tears streamed down Billy’s face. “You know that everyone has forgiven you.”
“I think I can now.”
Emily hugged him tightly. They kissed lightly and prepared for the ceremony.
A day later, Reverend Smith hurried into the center and found Billy hard at work on a computer.
“We have our first guest!” The Reverend announced excitedly.
“We do? Where is he?”
The Reverend smiled as a plump woman with stringy white hair made her way into the room with a few meager possessions.
“Sadie!” Billy exclaimed emotionally.
“Billy, I always knew that there was a plan for you.”
They embraced as they recalled their hard days and cold nights on the city streets.
God did have a plan for Billy. His homeless center grew to the largest in the area and housed countless “lost souls”. The following year, Billy and Emily were married. Shortly after, their first son was born. Jimmy Broderick was named after the brother who Billy would never forget but could now remember with peace.
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