Forbidden Forever

by Christy Dilg

  Chance has a lunch meeting with the hospital big wigs so I have lunch with Sierra. I miss her so much. I can't wait to tell her about my mini vacation and hear all about her and John. She texts me little tid bits here and there, but I want to see her expressions as she talks about him. I have a strange feeling that she has met the one. I meet her down in the cafeteria and we get in line to place our food order. I have had several people come up to me and ask if I am okay and tell me it is great to see me. I have not felt like a home wrecker in the least little bit. We sit down at a table and start eating and I tell her all about the trip and how lucky I am that my kids have grown so adjusted to the new living situation. We all seem to be happier now that there is no tension in our house.

  Living with Michael had everyone on edge all the time. Chance is one of a kind and he loves spending time with everyone. Last night, he started teaching Callie how to play the guitar because she expressed an interest, and he has already been surfing with Kaleb almost every day since we moved in. Life is almost perfect except the shadow that lurches over me all day long. I have to get this nagging feeling deep down in my gut that he isn't done with me yet to disappear. He can't hurt me anymore.

  "So, John and Brooke met and they seemed to have hit it off pretty well. We are all going to the skating rink Saturday so Brooke can compete against John. The other night they went on and on about who was better," she informs me.

  "That is so awesome. I hope she kicks his ass." I laugh.

  "He said he wasn't going easy on her. It seems they're both competitive as hell." She shakes her head amusedly.

  "I am meeting Michael tonight to talk with him so he will leave me alone. Kaleb is going with me," I blurt out. I know she is about to set the kitchen on fire in rage.

  "WHAT DO YOU MEAN MEET MICHAEL? Are you crazy? Chance approves of this?" she questions me.

  "It is my decision and he won't leave me alone until I do it. I have no choice. I want this marriage to be over so I can move on and focus on being happy." I try to assure her.

  It doesn't work and she puts her fork down and doesn't pick it up again. "I don't agree in the slightest," she says and doesn't back down.

  She hugs my neck and tells me she loves me before I return back to my desk. I rearrange things that Chance has strung all over his desk. I notice a new frame sitting in the corner and it is a photograph of me on the balcony looking out into the ocean. I don't recall him taking it, but somewhere in the moments when I was lost I my thoughts staring out at the waves, he must have taken it. The thought made me smile that even in his quietest moment he was thinking of me. I sit at his desk and look around at all the motorcycle toy models that are layered on his desk and spot another photograph. This one is of Callie and Kaleb. I pick it up and look at it. They are so beautiful. The two best things I ever did in my life. Chance caught them being nice to each other, which is a rare feat in itself. They were jumping in the waves and smiled toward each other. The photo was priceless. I'm a little jealous I don't have one for myself.

  "Those are my awesome kids," a deep voice startles me from the door opening.

  "Your kids are pretty damn awesome," I reply back. I stand up and walk over to him and place my arms around his waist.

  "I love you morefinity, Dr. Turner," I say.

  "Morefinity?" He raises an eyebrow at my chosen words.

  "It's something I came up with because more isn't enough and everyone says infinity," I explain.

  "Ah, I like it morefinity." He winks. Damn, I love that sexy face.

  Chance and I arrive at home just in time for me to get out of my work clothes and get Kaleb for us to go meet his father. We pull into The Waffle Cone, which is an ice cream shop by the pier. I figured it was quiet but still public enough that I would feel safe. Kaleb gets us both a root beer float while we are waiting for Michael to arrive. After waiting for ten minutes for him, he walks through the door. My heart skips about twenty beats and the breath in my lungs cause pain as I try to find my breath. He doesn't look angry. Rather, he looks almost nervous as he makes his way to the table. I shoot back away from him and more toward Kaleb when he joins us.

  "I don't want to harm you. I just want to apologize," he utters.

  "Well, go ahead and say what you need to say." I place my lips into a thin line.

  He turns to Kaleb. "Son, I am sorry for what I did to your mother. I can't take it back but I hate that you hate me like you do." He tries comforting him, but Kaleb has barely acknowledged him.

  Michael turns to me and begins his speech. "Laney, I am sorry for what I have done to you in the past and the recent present. I cannot take back the pain or trauma I have caused you, and I know it would take forever if not a lifetime for you to forgive me, but I love you and I miss our family. I just want you to give me another chance," he begs.

  Chance, all I can think of is Chance and how much I love him and how much of a wonderful, caring man he is to me and my children.

  "Michael, we are over. I don't miss our life together. I can't remember the last happy time we had together. I just want it all to be over. You made your bed and now you have to lay in it," I firmly tell him.

  "Okay, I just wanted to try one last time before I signed on the dotted line and ended something that lasted so long. I will meet with my lawyer tomorrow," he calmly murmurs.

  He stands, nods at Kaleb and walks out. Kaleb and I finished our floats when a group of guys walk in and wave at Kaleb.

  "Hey, Mom, those guys are training for the surfing competition," he whispers excitedly.

  One of the young boys walks over and punches him on the arm in one of those Dudes, what's up moves. Kaleb asks if he can go hang out with them and they will bring him home later. I agree and he walks me out to my car to see I get there safely. I drive back to the condo and realize I left my debit card on the table so I turn around and go back to The Waffle Cone to get it. I get out of the car and turn to walk inside when I see Michael standing face to face with me.

  I jump nearly three feet high from the shock and then I yell, "What the fuck, Michael? You scared the shit out of me."

  "I decided I want you to come home and I am not taking no for an answer. Get your ass in my car now," he screams.

  A lump surrounds my windpipe and by the time I make out my call for help, Michael opens my car door and pushes me inside. He pries the keys out of my hand and cranks the car. I reach for the handle to get out and BAM, a burning, stinging sensation stretches over my face. He back hands me so hard I can only focus on the pain for a few seconds until I realize what had just happened. I struggle to get out of the car but with every move I make, he hits me again. I can feel the side of my face swelling and I remember the last time I felt this way. He nearly killed me.

  "Where are you taking me?" I yell.

  "Stop fucking yelling and stop making this harder than it has to be. I love you and I don't want to hurt you." He raises his voice.

  "Love doesn't hurt, Michael. This is not how you show someone you love them. Please let me out," I beg. Beg for my freedom. Beg for him to see that love isn't like this. I am reliving every moment that has brought me to this place. The love I had for him before all the years of torture. The loneliness I felt all those year he ignored me and made me feel like I was nothing. I try to calm myself down so I can think of a way to escape.

  "Please just listen to me. Let me explain." he murmurs.

  I have given him a lifetime to explain his reactions and he never once wanted anything to do with me. Now that he has lost me, he wants to fix what he broke. I just can't go through another year with someone that has made me hate everything about myself. Over the past year I have grown into someone who is strong and independent. I have a life that doesn't include worry, hate, or fear. I have a life that is full of joy and love. "It isn't me you want. It is the life you wished you had all those years we were married. Now you have a chance to go find someone to complete it. Please, let me go," I sob.

  He doesn't speak and pulls into
the driveway of his house. I don't move because I am trying to think of a way to get away from him. He walks around to my car door and yanks it open. He reaches for my arm and I grab ahold of his with my teeth. I bite as hard as I can and try to push him away from me. It isn't enough to stop him. He grabs the back of my head and slams my face into the concrete driveway. I can feel the small pebbles sink into my flesh as he holds me down. "Stop fucking moving!" he yells.

  I try not to move because I can feel the concrete cutting into my face. He picks me up by my arm and shoves me toward the house. I try to walk as slowly as I can, hoping someone will walk out of their house and see that I need help. He opens the front door and pushes me inside. I run into the kitchen and he tackles me to the ground. I hate being in this room where he nearly killed me once. I will not let him get the best of me this time.

  "Stop trying to get away and listen to me. I love you and you are making me hurt you," he utters.

  I take in a deep breath and relax. "Okay, Michael. Talk," I say calmly.

  "I am sorry for all this pain. I just don't want to lose you, and I need you to come home," he utters.

  There are no feelings in his tone. I only hear the monster he has always been. I am always worrying about Michael and his needs. He sure knows how to win someone back. As if that would ever happen. I listen to him go on and on about the same thing. I can't take the poor Michael story any longer. I have wasted enough my life on the bastard who stands before me.

  "Michael, this is not what I want anymore. I have moved on and you need to do the same." I tell him.

  The look in his eyes is the look I fear the most, the look like the night I told him I was leaving. It was like he completely left his body and the devil took his place. I slowly slide the drawer open behind and feel inside for something, anything to protect myself. I grab a hold of something. He starts walking toward me slowly, mumbling something under his breath. I can see the red in his eyes and I notice his fists shut tightly at his side. Without warning, he lunges at me and grabs my throat. His hands are wrapped around my neck and the air is slowly disappearing from my lungs. Fear is consuming me and I cannot think about anything except the pain I feel in my chest and around my neck. I see images of my children and me and the sadness in their eyes. The fog clears from my brain and I swing my arms from around my back and I hit him in hard in the back, stabbing the fork deep into his flesh, twisting before I release it. He screams from the pain and his hands reach for his back. I run out of the kitchen, out the front door, and to the neighbor's house.

  Chapter 26

  I pound on the door as hard and as fast as my body will let me. Finally, a small old lady wearing a night robe opens the door. "Please help me." I beg of her. She lets me in her house and she gets on the phone and calls 911. The police are there in a matter of minutes. Michael comes out with his arms over his head. I peek out the woman's curtain because I don't want him to see me. I know if he does, the memory will just be one more painful look I will have to endure the rest of my life. The police knock at the door. I jump sky high even knowing I just watched Michael be carted off to jail. I am shaking uncontrollably and the tears just don't seem to stop. The police take down my statement and assure me that I will be safe. They try to get me to let someone check me out, but I know I am fine this time aside from some scratches and bruises. I just want to go home to my kids and Chance.

  I thank the kind woman who was brave enough to let a stranger in her house and I walk over to the house to get my keys. I walk in and the keys are on the kitchen counter. I look around at the home that I once called mine. I see there are very few things here that remind me of the life we had. The handful of good memories we had here together I have with me at Chance's condo. My children are the two greatest gifts in my life that not even he can take away. I get the keys and leave, never turning back. On the drive back, I reach in my purse and call Chance. I know the kids are with him by now and they are in a panic at my whereabouts. He assures the kids I am fine and I am on my way home.

  It takes about fifteen minutes to get to the condo but Chance refuses to let me off the phone. I smile at this man who cares so deeply that my safety is his only concern. I will probably not be able to be alone again after tonight. My poor children and the thoughts that must be invading their minds. I hope someday they will be able to recover from this nightmare their father keeps putting them through. I look at myself in the rear view mirror. I can see the small pebbles still smashed into my cheek and I remove them one by one. It will be hard enough on them all that I try to save them the vision of what I endured. I pull into the parking garage and before I can make it to the elevator, three of my favorite people are there at my side, wrapping their arms around me.

  * * *

  It has been two weeks since Michael pulled his stunt and has been taken to jail. His lawyer met with me today with signed divorce papers and a handwritten apology to me and the kids from Michael. His words will not change the way I feel but I will not be one of those parents who forget about the children involved. Michael needs psychiatric help, so hopefully my kids will get their father back. He was a horrible husband but he was always a wonderful and caring father. I sign my part of the divorce papers and see the man out. I close the chapter of my life that brought me the two most amazing things the world has to offer, but now I open the doors on a future that will bring me great happiness.

  Chance comes home from work with the biggest grin I have ever seen on his face. I know this means I have a surprise in store for me. He always acts like such a goofy and excited teenager when he has something up his sleeve.

  "I know you don't want to go back to work at the hospital but... I was hoping you would like to work somewhere else," he says without fully explaining himself. He pulls out a small white gift box with a red ribbon tied around it. I look at his adorable face and reach for the box. I wonder if this is it. He wants me to me a housewife. I can picture the ring and all its beauty without even opening the box. I smile, knowing what he is thinking. I pull the string and untie the ribbon, open the box and look inside.

  It is a silver necklace with a red pair of lips dangling from it. I look completely confused and curious at the same time.

  "What exactly do you picture me doing with this?" I ask. All I can think of is my lips painted in red, somewhere below his belt. "Umm." I moan from deep in my throat. The thought excites me but I am impatiently waiting for him to answer. He smiles his sinful smile and his eyes narrow. He holds out a key in the shape of a guitar and I grab it still at a loss. "Did you buy me a car?" I ask.

  He shakes his head no and just when I think I am going to burst from anticipation he tells me. "I bought 'Mouth' for you. I know you love it and you are a huge fan of music. I thought maybe this might be something you would want to do," he explains. I watch him waiting for my reaction. I am literally floored and at a loss for words, but I manage to get them out to express my excitement.

  "Oh my God. I can't believe you did that for me. You mean it is my bar?" I say excitedly.

  "Yes, all yours. Your name is on the agreement and the building is paid for outright," he informs me.

  "Holy fuck! Can we go see it right now?" I gush.

  He hooks the necklace and lays it gently on my neckline. "Yes, we can, Sapphire." He smiles.

  I text the kids and tell them to meet us there, but I leave out the part that is mine. I am the owner of Mouth. This is the coolest thing ever. We park in the front and I get the key out and open the door. Walking in feels different than the first time we came here. I guess knowing that it is mine, I can see every detail of the room. I can see myself here every day, meeting new people and discovering new artists. Maybe one day I will discover the next Hunter Hudson. The thought sends chills down my spine. I pull out my phone and text Sierra and tell her to get her ass over here with Brooke and John. John and Sierra are always connected at the hip these days. It is the cutest thing ever. She deserves to be happy and finally settle down her wild ways.

/>   Callie and Kaleb walk in together and they are both curious as to what is going on. "Why did you want us to meet you here, Mom?" Callie questions.

  I look at both of them and I can't help but grin ear to ear. "This is now my bar!" I gush, spinning around, holding out my arms.

  "Shut up," Kaleb jokes. "Mom, how...umm." He is speechless.

  "Wow, this is so cool. I love it," Callie squeals.

  "Chance bought it for me as a gift and gave it to me today," I explain to them.

  "Dang, dude, that's BA," Kaleb adds, walking over to him and punching him in the shoulder.

  I love their way of showing affection; it's so caveman. I giggle as they scope out the room. Callie walks over and gives me a big hug, something I will never complain about getting.

  "I am so happy that you have found someone who treats you so special. You deserve this and so much more, Mom," she murmurs.

  "Morefinity," I whisper.

  "What does that even mean?" she asks.