Forbidden Forever

by Christy Dilg

  * * *

  It has been a month since the proposal. We are not in a rush to walk down the aisle just yet. I still have to meet his parents who have been in France for the past couple months. They own a home over there and go a few times a year. Now that they're back, we will be going over there for dinner on Wednesday evening. I have someone covering the bar while I am away. Callie and Kaleb will be going with us. They are super excited, but I am in a panic that I won't fit the part they see as Chance's wife. I mean they are the ones who wanted Catherine and Chance to get married. I am sure they are going to see me as the home wrecker who broke up the marriage they were pushing to save, and that is my greatest fear. I have recruited Sierra to help me find everyone the perfect thing to wear. First impressions are everything.

  Owning a bar gives me the flexibility to run errands and do things that having a full time job never did. I meet up with Sierra after she gets off work on Monday and we go to the St. Augustine Outlet malls for the designer brands at a more reasonable price. First stop: Jones New York. These types of stores have always intimidated me but with Sierra, it is much more relaxing. I try on almost everything in the store and some things more than once. We go to the Ralph Lauren outlet next and she has me try on almost everything there before finding something that actually worked for the both of us. We found a striped silk chiffon skirt with a scoop neck black blouse and black strap heels. I am finally calm about the outside appearance for myself. We found the kids outfits, and I can't wait to see them all dressed up.

  We have two days left before the big dinner. I feel like I am going to puke from the nerves. I go to Mouth and start working on the payroll so I can get my mind off things and try to relax. I love my office here and how I can see everything through the two-sided mirror. I get busy putting in the times next to each employee's name. I sit back in my chair, close my eyes and take in the peaceful moment. I love this bar and I hope that someday we can branch out and possibly find more potential artists. This Thursday one of the music labels is sending someone to check out teen night. I haven't advertised it because I don't want the kids to get nervous on stage. During the week if we have someone perform and they sound amazing, we have them come back on the weekend to be heard my music labels. We don't advertise it this way, but most of the locals are aware of the way things are done. Teen night was really just a night for teens to have a safe night out but according to Smash Records, they have an insider that heard some amazing talent on Thursday.

  Surely it wasn't from the football players. I roll my eyes just thinking of the horrific sound. The last thing I need is for them to catch wind about this. My ears couldn't make it through another night like that. I click send to the bookkeeper whot handles the entire payroll for the bar. I notice that Brittany, one of the wait staff, is walking someone back to my office. I notice the tall slender woman and place my hands on the desk to brace myself for whatever is about to happen.

  "Umm. Ms. Collins, there is a Ms. Turner here to see you," she shyly informs me.

  "Please send her in, honey," I tell her.

  As the woman walks in, I stick my hand out toward the chair. "Please have a seat," I offer her.

  Instead of sitting in my chair, I lean on front of the desk.

  "How may I help you?" I ask.

  "I came to get to know the woman in Chance's life who is behind our divorce. You see, I let him go without a fight but I have decided that I want him back. It was a mistake to let you have him. We belong together and you are just a middle-aged mistake. He will come back to me once he wakes up to whom you are. I have done some digging and you have quite the past. I wondered if he knew and then I realized it was something you would never tell anyone. You play all sweet and innocent, but you and I both know that you are nothing but a whore," she tells me just before she crosses her arms.

  I stare at her without knowing what to say. There were a couple years in the beginning of college that I had a done something I am not proud of. Things happened and I am afraid of what anyone would think of me, afraid that the past would someday come out and break who I have become.

  "I don't care what you think you know. You have no right to come in here and threaten me. If you think for one second that Chance will go back to you, then you are sadly mistaken. He loves you as his once best friend not as a wife. As for my past, well, you can tell him if you want but it is something I am not ashamed of anymore. Do your worst," I mutter.

  "No worries, hon. I will," she utters as she stands and walks out the door.

  Chapter 31

  I hold onto the desk and wait to see her leave the building. What am I going to do? I have never told anyone other than Michael this story and I am not sure if people will hate me for the person I was, or if they can put themselves in my place and understand where I came from. But how did she find out this secret I have kept for years? My parents don't even know what happened all those years ago. I kept it from them because they would blame themselves.

  MICHAEL! That jackass. After I continue to give him a free pass, this is what he does to me. I don't want to face him ever again. When I stabbed him and got away, I thought he would finally leave me alone. I guess now he wants to take away everything I have without him since I am finally happy.

  I won't let it happen. I need to talk to Chance.

  Our bar manager, Ross, closes up for me and I leave early to tell Chance everything. Arriving at the condo, I sit in my car and think about what I am going to say that could possibly make this not as bad as it actually is. After ten long minutes, I suck it up and go upstairs. Chance is on the couch with the kids watching a movie. I can't even tell what is on and I am too on edge to look. I wave to everyone and walk to the bedroom so I can regroup before confessing my sins. I sit on the foot of the bed and put my hands over my face. My heart rate is getting faster and I am starting to feel sick to my stomach.

  In walks the third greatest thing that has ever happen in my life. I look up and see concern on his face as he stands in the doorway. I don't know how he is going to feel after this, but I have to tell him. I am just hoping that he loves me enough to see past it and never hold it against me. The thought of telling him something that still haunts me to this day is making me want to vomit. I don't know how to start the conversation. I don't want to lose what we have and lose that look in his eyes when he sees me. The thought of things changing is heartbreaking beyond words. I remember the years Michael threw it in my face nearly every day, the names he would call me and the pain I felt after each one. Chance has never been hateful to me, but I fear he is about to show his true colors.

  "Catherine came to see me at Mouth today," I start to explain.

  "What! What did she want?" he abruptly asks.

  "She wants you back and she has decided to tell you about my past," I again start to explain, but he doesn't let me finish.

  "I don't understand. She wants me back. She never had me first of all. Secondly, I don't care about your past," he tries to assure me

  "When I was in school, my dad lost his job and couldn't afford to pay my college tuition any longer. I looked all over the city for a job but I was at a loss. A friend of mine told me about a job that helped her raise a lot of money. I was a stripper, okay? It was the worst time in my life. My dad got a new job after six long months and I stopped," I finally just blurt it out.

  He stares at me like I have two heads or something. "Did you hear me? I ask.

  "Yes, but what I don't understand is why she would think that would change the way I feel about you," he says it like it is no big deal.

  "You don't care?" I mutter in shock. I hang my head down in shame. I knew I would never live this down but I needed to finish school. How can he pretend he doesn't care when I know he is disgusted?

  He walks closer and sits next to me on the bed. His hand lies on top of mine, but I still can't bring myself to look at him.

  "Sapphire, what has happened in the past is not your future. I have been to strip clubs and there is no di
fference in me going to one or you working at one," he calmly expresses.

  "You don't think I am a whore?" I ask.

  "Are you kidding me?" he questions my thoughts.

  "You know I had an affair with you and I was a stripper. It doesn't look so good on my side." My voice cracks and I slide my hand from his and place them on my face. I let out a small sob.

  "Honey, we were in that together. You are not the only one who had an affair. It doesn't make us bad people. It makes us human. We did what was right in the end. You can't beat yourself up forever. It's time for you to be happy and I will take care of her." He stands, leans down, and kisses my forehead.

  "You are leaving?" I ask.

  "Yes, but I am coming back. I am going to have a talk with Catherine. This will be the end of her causing problems," he utters.

  I watch him leave. He gets to the doorway and turns back to me. "Morefinity," he whispers and then turns to leave.

  Chance's POV

  That bitch is completely insane if she thinks I would want her back. I never loved her the way I love Laney. There was never a connection, a spark. There was only friendship. We had a friendship that apparently means nothing to her. I get to my motorcycle, pull the cell phone out of my pocket and search for her name then hit call.

  "Hi, handsome," Cathy answers, knowing it was me.

  "We need to talk," I blurt out.

  She gives me the address to where she is staying and I hit end, slide the phone back into my pocket and get on my bike.

  My blood is boiling on the ride to her house. I shut the engine off when I get into her driveway. She has moved into a nice two-story house that seems to be in a quiet little neighborhood. When I reach the door, it opens quickly and there she stands in a silk robe open enough to show her lace bra and panties. I push through the door and I can hear her shut it behind me.

  "Why are you causing problems for me? I told you I don't want to be with you anymore. The divorce is final. There is nothing left between us. We could have just been friends, and now you are pulling these stunts!" My voice gets louder with every word.

  She walks closer to me and places her hand on her hip, pushing the robe farther away, exposing her body.

  "Chance, darling, I miss you. I want to try and get back what we had," she utters.

  "We had nothing. We have nothing," I firmly tell her, hoping she will move on.

  She takes a step close enough that I can feel her breasts on my chest. Her hands touch both sides of my face and I look at her, frozen.

  "Nothing, Cathy," I tell her again.

  She pushes her lips to mine and I shove her away as fast as I can.

  "Cathy, listen to me and listen to me good. You and I are finished. There is nothing you can say or do that will make me leave Laney. I am in love with her and that is where I plan on staying. We are getting married and going to start a life together," I explain.

  "What does that whore have that I don't?" she screams with tears pouring down her face.

  "She has my heart," I express, turning for the door.

  I never wanted all this pain for her, but there is no other way except to cut ties with her.

  "She will hurt you and you will come running back to me, Chance. I won't wait," she yells.

  I turn and look at her. "I have no second thoughts," I say and then walk out the door, closing it behind me.

  On the way back to the condo, I think about the friend I had known all those years we were married. I think about the child we lost and the memories we had growing up. I would have never in all those years thought she would turn out to be this way. It has been months and the divorce went through without a complication. I wonder what turned her view on us around, and then it hit me. Our parents. I pull over at an abandoned restaurant and call mine.

  "Mom, have you been talking to Cathy or her parents about us getting back together?" I ask.

  "Son, you need to understand that we are looking out for the best interest of your future. Being a divorcee does not look good for the family, so we are hoping you can patch it up," she says in a formal tone.

  "Mom, you all have no right butting into my life. I don't want to be with Cathy. This is the mistake we made once and I'm not going back there. I love Laney and I am going to marry her whether you like it or not. I want you to be a part of our lives, but not if this is what you are going to do." I inform her.

  "Chance Turner, please don't act like this. Cathy told me all about Laney and you don't need someone like that in your life," she confesses.

  "That is the end of this conversation. Dinner is off." I hang up the phone.

  The nerve of that woman. My own mom judging someone for something that, in my opinion, had to take a strong person to do. I admire Laney more and more every day for everything she has overcome in order to survive. I know now with this going on, she doubts herself again. The thought tears me up inside. I need to get home to her and lift her back up and smother her with my love. She has come so far from the fragile woman she was after being mentally abused for years and then beaten. I won't let my family or Cathy make her feel even worse.

  Chapter 32

  Laney's POV

  Chance had a falling out with his parents because of my trashiness and his ex-wife, so he called off dinner. My heart aches at the thought of tearing his family apart because they do not approve of me. I hope someday they give me a chance to show them that I am not as bad as the six months I worked at that club. It truly was embarrassing and it wasn't a nasty, sleazy club like most. And it seemed the only option I thought I had at that time. To be completely honest, I would do it again if it meant I had a degree or if I needed to for my family—even now, when I want to cover my body from the world because of the fat rolls; for my kids I would.

  It's Thursday night and Mouth is slammed packed with teenagers. The football players are in the back booth and I am praying they don't have a bet going on. The stage lineup is full of potential singers who have been voted in by customers. They don't know that an agent from Smash records will be here tonight, and I'd like to keep it that way. This will keep the stage fright away from the really good singers and keep the football players at their table. I hope. I have a full staff tonight because Thursdays seem to pull in more of a crowd than the weekends do anymore. I have been very pleased with how everything is going at Mouth. The employees are all so friendly and pull their own weight without being told. What more could a boss ask for?

  Teen nights at Mouth start around eight o'clock since school is in session and the kids need to be out by eleven for curfew. Even though we serve basic foods like hamburgers, we still add the Mouth touch and give menu items an artist/band name. The staff and I had a fun time coming up with new creations for the Thursday night crowd. We thought it would be best to have names this age group would recognize rather than names like Janis Joplin. I am lucky that my kids both share my love of music and can rap with Vanilla Ice and jam out to the Beastie Boys. The crowd is settling in and the newbies have started the karaoke lineup. They get the crowd loosened up and interested in the upcoming artists.

  Chance and the kids show up and he sits in his reserved table. The kids wave and go straight to their friends'' table and do their own thing. I bring him a glass of diet Pepsi and have a seat next to him. He leans over and gives me a kiss on the lips. The softness of his lips and prickle of his facial hair sends a shiver down my spine. I can see it in his eyes that he is hurting from the event that happened on Monday, and that breaks my heart, knowing that I am the cause of it all and that something I did in my past hurt him in this way. I don't want to bring it up, but I want him to know I am there for him always if he needs me. I have to find a way to get them to approve of us. I know Chance loves me so much that him losing his family over me is something that I cannot bear.

  "Baby, how was your day?" I ask, hoping he will open up.

  "It was busy. Lots of meetings. It is always better when I see your face," he murmurs.

  "You know I love s
eeing your face, too, handsome." I wink and bat my eyes.

  The main lineup has begun and the guy on stage is crazy good. I love hearing his soulful voice. He reminds me of the great Barry White. Sierra and John show up with Brooke and her new boyfriend. I love having a place that my friends and family can hang out with me, and I still get paid. They come every Thursday to bring Brooke and then on Fridays to have some adult time. I have a feeling that this might be the real thing between Sierra and John. She has never dated anyone this long except the ass up north. I watch her movements with him and how her eyes light up in the same way as I feel my soul light up when I am with Chance. We quite possibly could have a double wedding. I smile at the thought. Best friends always talk to each other about their hopes and dreams, and right now I feel we finally have the happily ever after that we were looking for. Well, except that my ever after hit a bump in the road since Chance's parents think I am white trash. The sadness has taken over my heart and I have to find a way to repair what has been damaged.