Losing Control (A Babysitting a Billionaire Novel) (Entangled Brazen)

by Nina Croft

  She’d been confused and scared. Terrified of what she was turning into. There was a dark place inside her. Present since her mother’s death, it had lain dormant waiting for something to trigger it into life. Now it was awake, and she’d battled with despair every day. Was that how her mother had felt?

  But she’d also been angry. At herself mainly, partly for being so naive and unaware of Michael’s real nature, but even more so by her inability to stand up for herself after he revealed his true colors. She’d known she should pack her bags and leave him, but she didn’t know where to go. She had no friends in London, and she was convinced her father wouldn’t welcome her back. He might love her, but he also wanted to control her and they hadn’t parted on the best of terms.

  She’d felt totally isolated until Jake had appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. He’d taken her under his protective wing, made her feel safe, driven back the darkness, and given her a place to flee when she needed to get away from her husband. Jake had never judged her and had given her the strength and confidence to end her farce of a marriage. Afterward, he had done just about everything for her, found her somewhere to live, even given her a job, a whole new life.

  Now she was about to blow it.

  What she needed to do was convince Jake that he really didn’t want sex with her again and that he certainly didn’t want to marry her. It shouldn’t be too hard, and she had come up with a plan after the sixth or so cocktail. She knew the type of women Jake usually went for—cool, understated elegance…sophisticated. She’d make herself the complete opposite—which shouldn’t be too difficult—so no way would she appeal to him. She knew the look she was going for—total kick-ass chick.

  She had work this morning, and she had to face Jake, if only to prove she could. But her afternoon was free and she’d booked an appointment at a hair salon—she was going to look so good, or so bad, depending on your viewpoint. This evening there was a leaving do for one of the guys at work. She’d reveal her new self there.

  Perhaps then, Jake would realize that she was a much more suitable friend than she was a lover…or a wife.

  But first, there was something she needed to do. Something she’d dreamed of doing for a long time.

  Chapter Seven

  Jake woke with a raging hard-on.

  He considered doing something about it himself, and then had a better idea. Yesterday, Kim had run from him so fast after he’d made his strategically disastrous move of suggesting they get married. He’d decided to back off and give her time to get used to the idea. But by now she must have calmed down.

  He’d bet she was lying below him right this minute. Probably thinking about him and how good they’d been together, maybe even touching herself.

  His hard-on gave a twitch. It liked the idea.

  Should he head down there? Offer his assistance? They often went running in the mornings together. He could pretend he thought they’d arranged it. And if she didn’t want to go running they could…

  He rolled out of bed and pulled on sweats and sneakers in record time and was heading down the stairs within minutes.

  If they did go for a run, maybe they’d get back all hot and sweaty and find her water was off. Hell, he was the owner of the building; surely he could arrange a little thing like that. He’d offer to let her use his shower—a nice friendly gesture. Then he could offer to help her…

  He was getting ahead of himself.

  As he came out of the stairwell on Kim’s floor and rounded the corner, her door opened. He stepped back instinctively as she emerged from her apartment. It didn’t look like she was running; she wore her usual work gear of khaki combats and a T-shirt.

  But it was too early for work.

  Maybe she was heading somewhere first.

  Or maybe she was meeting someone first. Steve perhaps? Was he going to have to fire Steve’s sorry ass after all? His hands fisted at his side as he counted to ten to give Kim time to get a head start, and then he followed.

  Christ, he was losing it again. She’d turned him in to a goddamn stalker. Still, he couldn’t seem to stop.

  Jake exited the building and came out on the street. He was fucked if she caught a cab—he wasn’t so far gone that he could jump into another and say, “Follow that car.” But she kept walking, and he kept following.

  The streets were quiet this early, and he had to stay a good way back in order not to be seen. But when she headed over the river, he had his first inkling of where she was going.

  Back to her old apartment. The one she had shared with her asshole ex-husband.

  Why the hell was she going there?

  Had talking about Michael yesterday brought back old memories? Had she decided she still cared about the bastard? She never spoke about her marriage, but she must have had some feelings for the guy—however misguided they were.

  Had he driven her back to Michael?

  What if he’d awakened something in her yesterday? A craving for more sex. Just not with him. Had she been disappointed and now decided to try someone else?

  And picked her ex-husband.

  Her gay ex-husband.

  Maybe she liked a challenge…

  …and Jake had been too easy.

  His brain was about to explode, and he was being a complete dickhead. Of course she wasn’t going to Michael for sex—she loathed the man.

  So what was she going to see him for? He’d soon find out. She was entering her old apartment building now. At least he felt better about the whole stalking thing—he needed to be there in case things got ugly. Though he suspected Kim was more than a match for her ex these days.

  He followed her into the building but hung back, taking up position just out of sight of the apartment door, but where he could still peer around the corner.

  Her back was to him as she rang the bell, her body tense, her feet tapping against the tiled floor. When nothing happened, she jabbed her finger to the bell again and a few seconds later the door was yanked open.

  And there he was. The asshole.

  Just under six foot, with a narrow face and blond hair immaculately styled. Though Jake was pleased to see Michael’s smooth good looks were marred by a crooked nose. Jake had done that, just after Kim had walked out—punched the bastard in his smarmy face. It had felt good at the time. Maybe he should see if it felt as good a second time.

  Michael frowned and then his eyes widened. “Kimberly?”

  “That’s my name.”

  “What do you want?”

  “Could you step outside for a minute?”

  “Why?” He sounded suspicious. Jake didn’t blame him.

  “A minute of your time,” Kim said. “And then I promise I’ll go away and you’ll never see me again.”

  Michael stepped into the corridor. “Now what?”

  Kim whirled around and kicked out in a perfect imitation of the move Jake had used to floor Steve the day before. God, she was good. Her foot connected with Michael’s chest, and he went straight down with a satisfying thud. Then he lay still.

  Come on, asshole, get up.

  Jake willed the man to stand so she could knock him down again. But unlike Steve, he didn’t get up for a second helping.

  Kim crossed to where he sprawled on the floor and nudged him with her toe. “Just one question,” she said. “Why did you marry me?”

  He wheezed and made to sit up, but she pressed him down with a foot on his chest. “Why?

  “I loved—”

  “Liar.” She stepped back. “Good-bye, Michael. I hope we never meet again.”

  Jake wanted to cheer; instead, he turned and hurried out of the building ahead of her. Once on the street, he slipped into a doorway out of sight. He watched as she sauntered off in the direction of the office, hands shoved in her pockets.

  That had been almost as good as sex.

  Okay, he was kidding himself, but all the same, it had been pretty damn good.

  He’d better make sure he didn’t piss her off in the fut
ure, or he could end up on the floor as well. On the other hand… He grinned—she was welcome to knock him flat on his back anytime.

  As long as she climbed on top afterward.

  …

  Kim knew as she walked away from Michael that she would never be totally free of him.

  She’d pretended to herself that she was over him, that he had no effect on her life any longer. But that was far from the truth. While she hadn’t set eyes on him since the day she’d walked out, he was always at the back of her mind. He was the man most responsible for the person she had become, the one who’d shown her the darkest part of herself. He was the reason she needed to feel strong, in control. The reason she would never let another man have that sort of power over her, never risk bringing that darkness rising to the surface once again.

  All the same, that had felt extremely good.

  Now all she had to do was prove that she could face Jake, and it would count as a successful day.

  …

  “Sex with Jake is not an option.” Kim muttered the words under her breath as she watched Jake move gracefully through a tai chi sequence. She supposed it would be more accurate to say, sex with Jake again was not an option. But that would remind her of the first time and she was doing her pathetic best to forget.

  The “not an option” clause had become a mantra she’d taken to repeating to herself at regular intervals throughout the morning. Not that it did much good.

  However hard she’d tried to put the whole thing behind her, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Jake and sex. Always in the same thought. It was as though a button had been switched on in her brain—a “sex with Jake” button.

  She’d spent the morning doing Internet searches on potential employees for one of their biggest clients. But she found it increasingly difficult to focus on the job. All she needed to do was confront Jake and prove to herself that she could face him and treat him like a friend. Not like a guy who’d made love to her on top of his desk.

  She wouldn’t go anywhere near his office; while she might be able to face Jake, she couldn’t face his desk—she wasn’t ready for that yet. Instead, she waited until he headed for the gym. Dressed in a fitted black vest top and loose black trousers, his feet bare, he was totally focused, which gave her a rare chance to watch him unobserved.

  There was no bulk to Jake; his muscles were flat and streamlined, his body sleek and long-limbed. She had seen him do these same sequences many times, but he still had the ability to enthrall her. Each movement was slow and deliberate, seeming simple, yet he exuded a raw power combined with an innate gracefulness that mesmerized her.

  How could you look at that and not think sex?

  She’d always managed perfectly well in the past; she’d just not thought about him in those terms. Reminder: Jake was her friend. He was not for drooling over—she had to remember that.

  Which was impossible when her mind continued to flash back.

  It was ten minutes before he came to a halt, glanced over, and smiled.

  “Morning,” she said, her tone determinedly cheerful.

  “Hi.” He studied her as if unsure how to proceed. Maybe he wanted to pretend the whole sex thing hadn’t happened, as well. That would make their encounters considerably easier. “You want to join me for a swim?”

  “No.” Getting almost naked with Jake wasn’t a good idea, at least not until she had her inconvenient hormones back under some semblance of control. “I came in to ask if you were coming to Mitch’s leaving do tonight. I’ve been delegated to find out if we’re to be honored by your presence.”

  “I may drop in. I take it you’re going.”

  “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

  “Okay, if you don’t want that swim, I’m going to shower.”

  Why was he telling her this? Was he trying to send her blood pressure sky-high from imagining him naked in the shower, soaping himself…? She blinked as she realized Jake was staring at her, apparently waiting for her to move; she stood in the doorway, blocking his exit.

  “Right, I’ll be off then.” She meant to move, really she did, but for some reason she couldn’t force her limbs into motion.

  Jake regarded her, his expression speculative. For a long moment, they stared at each other, and then he smiled a sinfully sexy smile and with his eyes still focused on hers, slowly peeled the black vest from his body.

  She gaped. She couldn’t help herself—he was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. Yesterday, she’d been too caught up in the moment and the shock to notice much. Today, nothing stopped her from drinking her fill of the view. He was sleek and golden with a faint sheen of sweat, the skin smooth over the swell of his broad, muscular chest, then lightly furred over the ridges of his lean, almost concave belly, the dark hair forming an arrow that disappeared into the low-slung black trousers. Her mouth went dry. She tried to remember her mantra. What was it again? Sex with Jake is not an option. Why was that exactly? She couldn’t remember. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them again. Wow.

  Time to go.

  She whirled away but was sure she heard his soft laughter following her down the corridor.

  …

  Kim pushed her way into the pub and peered around the dimly lit room. Numerous groups were scattered about, some in suits, obviously after-work drinkers, but she spotted her coworkers quickly. Jessica wasn’t there—she was working tonight—but fifteen or so guys gathered at the bar.

  No Jake yet, and some of the tension oozed from her.

  She headed over, and they turned to face her as one, jaws dropping open in unison. She allowed her jacket to swing open and ran a hand through her tousled hair as she came to a halt in front of them.

  After glancing around the group, her gaze settled on Steve. She tried for a seductive smile in his direction—not because she wanted to tempt him but because she’d been practicing—and couldn’t help but feel a vaguely malicious wave of satisfaction when he groaned.

  “This isn’t fair,” he muttered.

  Yay! She only just refrained from punching the air.

  She might have gone a little over the top with the makeover. Jess had accompanied her to assist, and it was probably her urging that had done the damage. Left to herself, Kim wasn’t sure she’d have ended up quite this…kick-ass?

  Leather. Tight black leather pants. Though if she really wanted to kick ass, she’d pick something not quite as tight. And she definitely wouldn’t be running down any bad guys tonight. Not in her four-inch stilettos. She’d be lucky to stay on her feet.

  She’d drawn the line at a leather corset—kick-ass was one thing, looking like a dominatrix out of a bondage cellar was another.

  Kim was sure Jake wasn’t into being dominated. If she wanted to put him off—show him she wasn’t his kind of girl—then the leather corset might work if all else failed. She reckoned he was more the domineering type but she so didn’t want to go there. Jake and handcuffs…

  Sex with Jake is not an option.

  She’d settled on a red halter top that left her midriff and most of her back bare and added a short leather jacket on top, because she wasn’t brave enough to walk through the streets without some cover.

  The biggest change was her hair. “I want to look badass and sexy,” she’d told her hairdresser nervously. He’d added highlights of different reds, from gold to deep crimson, to her nondescript, dark-brown hair. She loved it. He’d left it long but cut in layers. He’d then sprayed it and had her hang her head upside down while he used the dryer.

  When she swung her head up, he pulled and poked it another ten minutes before pronouncing her sexy and letting her view the results.

  “It’s the ‘just got out of bed’ look,” he announced.

  “I never look like that when I get out of bed,” she grumbled.

  She’d also purposefully ensured she was at least half an hour late. She wanted to make an entrance, wanted to get a collective response. And she’d gotten it
. And it had been good, but five minutes later, everyone seemed to ignore her as usual.

  She sipped her drink, listened to the rise and fall of conversation, and allowed her attention to roam about the bar while trying not to spend too much time staring at the door. Slowly, she became aware that although her group did an excellent job of ignoring her, quite a few other men were eyeing her up with interest.

  One particular man in a dark business suit casually leaned against the bar opposite. His black hair and lean, tanned face reminded her slightly of Jake. Kim allowed herself to make eye contact, then smiled into his admiring gaze. He raised his glass to her, and she followed suit with her bottle. Around her, the conversation stalled. The guys all stared at her.

  “What?” she asked.

  “Jake will be here in a minute,” Dave said.

  “So?”

  Dave shook his head in exasperation. “Seems as apparently it’s out in the open now, I may as well tell you, along with warning the lot of us off touching you, Jake’s made it perfectly clear that if you come on these nights out, we’re expected to see that you don’t get into any trouble.”

  “Trouble?” she queried, a frown forming between her eyes. “What sort of trouble?”

  Dave nodded in the direction of the dark-haired man at the bar. “That sort of trouble.”

  “I don’t believe this. Who does Jake think he is? My father?”

  “I doubt that’s quite the role he has in mind,” Dave said wryly. “But you’d better talk to him about that.”

  “I will,” she promised. “In the meantime, let me make it quite clear—you are now all relieved of babysitting duties.”

  She put her drink on the bar and slowly and defiantly peeled off her jacket, exposing large amounts of naked flesh to the gawking group.

  “Could you hold this for me a minute?” she asked nonchalantly, handing the jacket to Steve, whose stare was riveted on her bare midriff.