Spoiled Secrets

by Ebony N. Donahue

  I have never responded to a guy like this. I guess that’s where the frustration comes in at. There are a million butterflies soaring through my stomach at this moment in time. What do I do? Do I run? Do I stay? I am so totally screwed! The constrictor like grip currently holding me in place by my two best friends, has guaranteed that I will not be going anywhere soon unless, I make a scene. I am soooo, soooo majorly screwed! Even though my body is captured in a stationary spot, I have decided that my head isn’t. I know it’s childish, but I just can’t sit here and gawk at him. Can I? I’ll just turn my head, IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION!

  “Girl, he got on the new Timberlands!” Keisha points out.

  “Yeah, I saw those.” This was my only response. I continue to stare in the opposite direction. I’m afraid to look his way.

  “Yummy, do you see how those jeans fit his ass?” This was Emily’s response.

  “Yeah, I saw it.” This was my only response.

  “O-M-G! That’s the new, Polo Ralph Lauren - Tonal-Flag Crewneck Sweater, he has on! Do you know how much that cost? That’s a three hundred dollar sweater!” This was Keisha’s exuberant response.

  “Really.” Was all I said.

  “Look at that chest! I take it back Amber, I don’t think he’s gay. I know…I just know it! He’s straight and he can enfold me in all-that-wondrously –muscled–chest, anytime he wants!”

  Emily’s voice was quiet, but excited, as if she was not trying to be heard from any outsiders. She was unable to contain her excitement at the sight of Chase. The sound of her voice was suddenly pissing me off.

  “Yeah” Was my clipped response.

  I was secretly hoping Emily would shut the fuck up. Matter of fact, I was wishing both of them would release the manacles holding me in place.

  “Let – go – of – my - arms, you idiots! You two act like you’ve never seen a guy before.”

  “I call dibs again! He’s mine! I think he was just playing a little hard ball when we first met.”

  I was getting pissed off with each passing minute…no, second. No, I was getting PISSED by each passing millisecond! Who does she think she is? If he didn’t want her before, he’s not going to want her now! I’ll be damned if he’s going to hold her, comfort her, or even love her.

  FUCK THAT!! HE-IS-MINE!

  Wait…wait…wait, a fucking minute! What is wrong with me? Who am I to act territorial? Me, jealous and upset over a dude. Shake it off Amber, shake it off! My temper started to quickly dissipate after my quick and sensible inner debate.

  Cuba Magnum, what a lovely masculine smell. The butterflies that quickly returned at the first whiff of that delectable smell, has just informed me that this particular masculine smell belonged to no other than, Chase Mitchell. From the loosening manic grip on my arms, I could tell that Mr. Mitchell was closing in on my dwindling personal space.

  It’s time for an inner pep talk. Get it together before you turn around. Maybe, he has forgotten about my little nervous break at the zoo, Friday. Maybe, he won’t even remember it was me. Turn, smile, and pretend you haven’t met him before. You can handle this!

  “Wellllllll, hello Chase! I knew you would come around sooner than later.” This is Emily…Emily turning her sultry voice into a weapon, which usually brings guys to their knees.

  “Hi… I’m sorry, what’s your name again? I apologize; I was rushing to my class when you first introduced yourself to me the first time we met.” His voice ignited something deep inside me.

  “My name is Emily, babe.” I can’t believe this shit! I can’t stand around and listen to this crap.

  “Excuse me! Come on Keisha, let’s get to class!”

  I don’t know what Keisha saw when she turned to look in my direction, but whatever expression that was written all over my face had her taking a double take.

  “Amber, don’t you want to wait on Emily?”

  “WHAT FOR? You know what ... you stay, I’ll go!”

  As I turned, I heard a deep chuckle, a male chuckle. This simple thing…this chuckle, will be the end of me. Am I a joke to him? This motherfucker has consumed every thought since I met him and he thinks I’m funny! Who the fuck do he think he is? The whole time that Emily was divvying up his body parts for consumption, the entire length of their conversation, the butterflies that were once occupants of my body have slowly died in the hot embers of my rage.

  That chuckle, that fucking chuckle, has turned those embers into a, HOT-FUCKING-RAGING INFERNO! I felt as if I were consumed by flames. The fury that I felt incensed my internal fire, causing it to burn out of control and show itself on the surface of me. BURN BABY BURN! When I turned around to answer that annoying ass chuckle, all three of these motherfuckers were in my line of fire. The owner of the chuckle was my, GOD – Be - Damned target. They all flinched at the sight of me…GOOD!

  “Is something funny? Do you think of me as a goddamned joke? What…what is it? Am I funny?” My voice was that eerie quiet before a storm lets loose. “Am I FUCKING FUNNY?” I yell this last question. I threw my words at him as if they were swords. My eyes blazed with the heat of the fire that consumed me.

  “What’s wrong with you, you crazy bitch! I swear Amber; go take a Midol or something!” Emily threw her words at me. “Excuse, her behavior Chase, I think my girl is being visited by her Aunt Flow.” She then turns to me as if she hasn’t done enough damage. “Is she visiting for five or seven days this month?”

  Can anyone say, FUCKING MORTIFIED! I have never been this embarrassed in my life! First, I snap like some crazed she-wolf. Second, this bitch is talking about my period! WHO DOES THAT?

  “Fuck you, you B…. Just fuck you! I can’t do this…I’m …I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with…”

  For the second time in a span of a few days I was in tears. I did the only other thing I could think of at this moment, I turn to run away. Before I got a few feet in my escape of mortal embarrassment, I was surrounded by a familiar strong embrace. I was surrounded by the masculine smell of Cuba Magnum which, I now associate as being the smell of Chase Mitchell.

  “Let me go.” I say in a weak trembling voice.

  “Never!” His response was whispered in my right ear.

  “Please Chase, just let me go.” Another weak trembling response was my only retort. I know he thinks I’m totally mental by now.

  “I’m sorry. I can’t let you go… I haven’t been able too since we met the other day. Please, don’t be mad at me.”

  All of his words were whispered as he held me cocooned in his arms. My back was pressed securely against his front. His lips were pressed against my ear and all the while my heart skipped many beats.

  “This is so embarrassing, Chase. I’m the one who’s sorry. Please, can I go now?” My voice was less shaky this time. He promptly turned me so that we were facing one another.

  “No.” This simple response was accompanied with a kiss to my forehead.

  “Emily,” My body stiffened in his arms at the mention of her name. Unperturbed at my stiffness, he continued addressing my friend. “I would like to apologize again. If I came across as flirting, that was not my intention. I was simply making conversation. I actually came over to speak to Amber.”

  As I turned to also give an apology for my bad behavior, I was faced with bugged out eyes and open mouths of surprise. I must say, this is a first for my bosom buddies.

  “Ahh…Ummm…guy’s, I’m sorry for acting all crazy psycho bitch a few minutes ago. I’m more than embarrassed of the way I conducted myself.” Keisha, bless her heart, she broke the silence by laughing and lightening the mood.

  “Conduct yourself! Amber, this is the most surprising and in a few seconds, once everything sinks in; the funniest shit I’ve seen in a while.” She giggled.

  “Hey you.” Chase swayed me in his embrace. “I came over to tell you that Peanut told me, to tell you hi and she hopes to see you at her most favorite place in the world this Friday.” I chuckled.

 
“Tell her I said hi and that I would love to meet her this Friday, in her most favorite place in the world. Also, tell her I said it’s a date and I’ll even bring a picnic.” Chase graced me with another kiss to the forehead that sent shivers throughout my entire body.

  “It’s a date!” He released me and as he starts to walk away, I got the feeling that, that simple statement meant a whole lot more than me and Peanut meeting up to visit Kinjy.

  “Amber, you could have told me Chase was spoken for. Instead, you let me make a fool of myself!”

  Emily actually sounded concerned and a little hurt. Way to dig the knife in a little deeper, Emily. I guess I have no other choice, but to explain after the drama scene I just performed.

  “Emily, you sure didn’t need Amber’s help in that department. I thought you got enough the first time he blew you off. But NOOOOO, you just had to strut your stuff. I can’t even imagine how dumb you feel right now! So, calling yourself a fool is a whole lot tamer than what I would call you. I think DUMB-ASS fits better!” Keisha said while laughing.

  “Shut the hell up Keisha. I’m two seconds off your ass….your DUMB-ASS, that is!”

  “Who’s Peanut?” Both of them asked at the same time.

  “Listen, I feel like a total ass right now. Plus, we really don’t have the time to go over this; we better get to our classes.”

  “What?” Both of them asked in sync and in a loud voice. This outburst gained us more curious stares in our direction.

  “I will explain everything after school. Emily, I have to drop you off anyway and Keisha, I can drive you home as well, okay?”

  Please GOD, let them agree to this. I need time to think if I wanted to tell them everything or just bits and pieces of my initial introduction to Chase.

  “Deal!” Keisha said.

  “You better not leave anything out. I know you like a book, Amber. You think you’re slick, I know you’re trying to stall for time, in order to sort through what you want to tell us.” This little tidbit coming from Emily was not surprising. I guess the saying is right, you can’t bullshit a bullshiter.

  “I’ll tell you everything. Now, let’s get to class before the bell ring.”

  When the end of the day rolled around I had come to the decision that a girl has to keep some secrets to herself. So, I decided to tell them an edited version of the story. I decided to keep some things to myself…especially the water works scene. Yeah, I decided to delete that from the story all together. Some things they don’t need to know about.

  Chapter 9

  T-G-I-F, thank GOD it’s Friday! I wake up to birds chirping. The first thing that came to my mind was; fucking birds set up camp outside of my window! Then I remember that I change my message alert on my cell phone to notify me that a text message was received. It must be Emily or Keisha, wanting to share a little bit of gossip before school or they might be bumming a ride this morning.

  Unknown Number – Good morning

  My Number – Who is this?

  Unknown Number – Is this how you wake up in the morning? Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed? Lol...

  My Number – Who is this?

  Unknown Number – Guess!

  My Number – It’s too early in the f***ing morning for guessing games!!

  Unknown Number – I GUESS you are right, but I’ll give you another hint. Are you ready for today?

  My Number – What’s today?

  Unknown Number – So, you forgot already?

  My Number – Who is this?

  Unknown Number – Lol…Disappointing!!!

  My Number – Disappointing my ass! Who the FUCK is this?

  Unknown Number – You are funny and beautiful, could you please watch your language!!

  My Number – WHO IS THIS?? SCREW YOU, WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME TO WATCH MY LANGUAGE?!!

  Unknown Number – Are you yelling at me through text? I would say I would wash you filthy mouth out with soap, but since it’s your fingers that are the actual offenders I’m kind of lost for words.

  My Number – I don’t have the time and energy to sit here and entertain you this early in the morning… mystery person.

  Unknown Number – Lol, some people would say I’m a mystery. I like to describe myself as an open book.

  My Number – I’m glad you can “Lol” at my expense. The thing is, I am unable to “LOL” with you. I have things to do, places to go, and people to see. I can’t and won’t, sit here any longer texting some unknown creep. Pitch my number asshole! “LOL” about that!! By the way, my offending fingers are giving you the bird so, FUCK OFF PERVERT!!

  I wait a couple minutes to see if this mystery person would text me back. How strange, this has never happened before. It makes me wonder how someone got my phone number in the first place. Dwelling on this will put me behind schedule even more and that’s something that I can’t have. Since, there was no immediate return text, I started to get dressed for school. This is just plain freaky.

  ******

  The morning went by without incident. Throughout my morning classes, my mind was constantly trying to warp speed ahead to the end of day. I understand that I should be focusing on my school work. Especially, since I have been gone for three weeks, but my mind is on something totally different than school. Anticipating my afternoon date with Chase and Peanut, has me on pins and needles.

  I can barely sit still in class, let alone focus on the lessons the teachers are trying to shove down all of our throats. By the time lunch time rolled around, I was ready to meet up with my girls so that I could get out of my own head.

  “What’s up tramp?” Emily said from my right as I was walking to the cafeteria.

  “Back at you!” I smiled at Emily.

  “What’s up girl?”

  “What’s up Keisha?”

  “So, are you ready for today?” Keisha asked with a big grin on her face.

  “Why did you just ask me that?” I asked her suspiciously. “Did you have someone text me this morning?” I glare at my girl.

  “Why would I have someone text you?” The confused look on Keisha’s face seals the deal for me. She doesn’t know what the hell I’m talking about.

  “I got a series of text this morning asking me the same question you just asked. The problem is, what am I supposed to be ready for today?”

  “I see the grouchiness hasn’t worn off since this morning.” A male voice chuckled behind me. I know that voice. Hmmm, I know that smell. The smile that was creeping across my face was uncontrollable. I turn my head around slowly so that I could take him in, inch by glorious inch. Goodness what a sight to see.

  “It was you!” I was face to face with no other than, Chase Mitchell. I could not wipe the smile from my face, no matter how hard I tried.

  I tried to put a little oomph in that small accusation. I failed miserably! I’m trying to accuse him with words while my face gave off a totally different signal, total contradiction.

  “You have a beautiful smile.” Was his fevered response.

  “It was you.” I again accused him, but not convincingly. This stupid smile seemed to be getting bigger.

  “You have beautiful lips…kissable lips. You also have naughty swearing fingers that love to text a lot of profanity. What should I do to these offending objects?”

  The look he gives me burns me all the way through. Every cell within burns me to my core. He grabs my hands and brings them up to his mouth…my heart trips all over itself. I’m taking shallow breaths as he flips my hands over and places a chaste kiss on each palm. I’m about to faint! He trails his lips from the center of my right palm to my index finger. His lips linger on the tip of my finger while reverently gazing into my eyes.

  Yep, I think I will be fainting in….three…two…one! Just as I have convinced myself that it’s okay to pass out just like Scarlet O’Hara, he inserts my finger into the, warm moist cavern of his mouth. He proceeds to suckle my digit for seconds, I’m transfixed by his boldness. He then, gently nib
bles the tip before releasing my bad…bad…very bad, naughty, swearing finger. My knees buckle.

  “Damn, get it over with you’re killing us! Kiss her already!” I forgot that Keisha and Emily were by my side. I turned and shot Emily a look that silently said – SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOUR MESSING UP OUR MOMENT!

  “What? Don’t give me that look! I don’t know about Keisha, but I’m not that uppity. I for one, enjoy a little voyeurism. Shit…that was hot as hell! I should have brought some popcorn for this little peep show. A word of advice; what you need to do is stop glaring at me and ask him to suck and nibble something else, if you know what I mean! She wiggles her eyebrows.