Bouncing

by Jaime Maddox

  “Me, too. I’m sorry you have to lie to them.”

  “I have to tell them soon, Alex. They’re going to run into your parents at one of our games. Like maybe tomorrow.”

  “My parents won’t say anything, Brit.”

  “Maybe not intentionally…”

  “No, they won’t say anything at all. They know you’re not out.”

  “You told them?” Brit asked, and Alex heard the edge in her voice.

  Alex nodded, and then explained. “My mom wanted to invite your family over after one of the games, since they live so close to the school and your family is so far away. I had to say something, and I thought the truth was best.”

  Brit nodded. “So what did your mom say?”

  “Something distasteful about your parents, although I don’t feel at liberty to repeat the exact words.”

  Brit laughed and hugged Alex. “I wish I knew. I’ve been sweating about the holiday tournament.”

  “Well, now there’s no worries.”

  “Thank you.”

  They carried their feast into the living room, turned on the tree lights, and devoured everything.

  “I want to give you your presents and then watch It’s a Wonderful Life,” Brit said.

  “And I want to watch A Christmas Story,” Alex said. “And make love. And take a shower with you. And then eat a very quick dinner at my parents’ house and then come right back here and make love again.”

  Alex was concentrating on breakfast, but noticing a lull in the conversation, she looked up and met Brit’s gaze. “What?” she asked, suddenly suspicious.

  “It’s amazing, isn’t it? How compatible we are in bed?”

  Alex wanted to tell her just how much she agreed, but she always hesitated to discuss sex in general. Sex in particular, the moments they shared and the things they did—those were easy to talk about. But the generalizations might open the doorway to what had been an uncomfortable issue for them since Anke. Alex was afraid to reference other women, or allude to any others, or compare Brit to them, for even though her sexual connection with Brit was the most amazing one she’d ever had, she couldn’t tell her that without reminding her that there had been many others before her. So she kept her answer simple. “Yes.”

  “I never imagined it could be like this.”

  And then she didn’t need to measure her words, for this reply was so much easier than the last. “Neither did I.”

  Their gaze never wavered, even as Brit set the mug down on the coffee table and slid across the couch, into Alex’s arms. Alex looked up at her, fighting the urge to push her back on the coach and devour her. Instead, she sat quietly as Brit kissed the top of her head, then her eyelids, and finally her lips. She pulled Brit closer and sunk deeper into the couch, with Brit snuggled in her arms. “I love you,” Brit whispered, and they held each other, and Alex could see and hear and feel only Brit, and it was perfect.

  “Do you want a present?” Brit asked a few minutes later.

  Alex’s answer evoked a laugh. “Yes, please.”

  As Brit slipped from her lap, Alex stood as well and walked to the tree to retrieve several beautifully wrapped boxes. The first was small, the second medium, and the third huge. She’d wrapped them in shiny silver paper and topped each with red bows. Brit returned from the bedroom with a handful of boxes and placed them on the table.

  “Three presents each. Perfect. I wanna go first,” Brit informed Alex.

  “’Kay,” Alex answered and handed her the smallest package.

  “I want the big one,” Brit said.

  “Best for last.”

  So Brit opened the small box and found a pair of silver snowflake earrings. “They’re perfect,” she said as she slid the stems through the holes in her lobes.

  “You next.” She handed Alex the medium package, wrapped in blue snowman paper with a big blue-and-white bow.

  Just like Brit, Alex was methodical and deliberate, unsealing the tape that closed the paper and then sliding the box out. It was a Converse box, and Alex smiled as she pulled off the lid. Classic black Chuck Taylor high-tops. “They’re perfect.”

  Brit beamed. “Glad you like them. Okay, now my turn,” she announced, and grabbed the big box.

  “No, no, no, Britain! The medium box is next.”

  Brit picked it up, seeming startled by its weight. Or lack thereof. She shook it and looked suspiciously in Alex’s direction.

  “Go ahead, open it.”

  Brit opened the paper to reveal a shoe box. Flinging the lid to the floor, Brit sifted through the tissue paper, red and green and white for Christmas, and found a red envelope. It wasn’t sealed, and she reached inside and pulled out two tickets. Alex watched her closely as she read them and saw the excitement on her face as it registered.

  “Kinky Boots!” she yelled, and jumped up to hug Alex. “When? When are we going?” she asked, and then she studied the tickets, finding the information before Alex could tell her. “Oh, wow. Sunday! We’re going on Sunday!” she yelled as she kissed Alex. “This is so perfect, Alex. This is the best present ever.”

  Alex had been bursting with excitement from the day she ordered the tickets, right after the first time they’d made love.

  “You are such a better shopper than me, Alex. You got me Kinky Boots tickets and I got you sneakers. How lame.”

  “I love my sneakers. Don’t knock ’em. And speaking of presents, umm, don’t I get two more?”

  Brit beamed again. “As a matter of fact you do,” she said and handed Alex another gift, this one a bit smaller than the last. Again, Alex fastidiously peeled the paper to reveal the Disney logo on a small, black box. Flipping up the lid, she looked inside. A watch, with multiple changeable bands—leather, gold, silver—and Mickey Mouse on the face.

  “So you’ll never forget our first kiss.”

  “How could I ever forget it?” she asked and leaned over as their lips met in a soft, tender kiss filled with all of Alex’s love. “This is beautiful,” she said, turning back to the watch. “Thanks.”

  Brit smiled. “I’m glad you like it. Now I want my big present.”

  Alex pretended to struggle with the weight of it, but it was just as light as the other box. Brit pursed her lips, and this time she tore off the paper to reveal a U-Haul box. Impatiently, she shifted through tissue paper to find an envelope. Inside was a reservation for a hotel in New York City, and Alex watched another smile form on Brit’s face, and then Brit raised her face to look at Alex.

  “We’re going to New York!” Brit danced around Alex and then pushed her onto the floor and kissed her passionately.

  “I guess you like your presents, huh?”

  “I do.” Brit would have been happy with nothing more than a special day at home with Alex, but the gifts were truly perfect. She was so happy to have Alex in her life, as her lover, to be sharing Christmas morning with her, that she felt as if she would burst from joy. Full of energy, she jumped up. “Let me give you one present, and then I’m taking you back to bed.” Brit handed Alex the largest of the boxes, and she was startled by its weight. Brit’s present had been big but light, and though hers was small by comparison, it was quite heavy.

  The paper gave way to a plain cardboard box, stuffed with packing peanuts. Within, wrapped in a layer of protective foam, Alex found a marble statue, eighteen inches high. It was a winged, headless, armless form with curves and breasts that were unmistakably feminine. Alex studied it, turning it over and over before finally placing it on the table. The details were remarkable, from the feathered wings to the lines of her flowing robes. “She’s beautiful,” she said at last.

  “Do you know who she is?”

  “I don’t have a clue,” Alex chuckled.

  “It’s Nike. This is a replica of a statue at the Louvre called Nike of Samothrace. It’s Greek, and the original is over two thousand years old. She reminds me of you.”

  Alex studied the statue again, overwhelmed by emotion she couldn’t explai
n. It probably had something to do with the novelty of the gift and how much thought had gone into it, or perhaps because she was so much in love. As if reading her mind, Brit stood and offered Alex her hand.

  “Let’s go back to bed.”

  Alex accepted the hand and followed Brit to the bedroom, and after they made love again, they turned on the television and cuddled up together in Brit’s bed, watching movies. All of the pillows in the apartment were piled behind them, and the blankets were pulled all the way up as George Bailey and Clarence wandered around Bedford Falls in a blizzard.

  “What was that noise?” Alex asked, sitting up and turning her head toward the door leading to the living room.

  “Huh?” Brit asked. She’d been paying attention to the movie and didn’t catch Alex’s words.

  “I thought I heard something,” Alex said.

  She turned her gaze from the television to the doorway just in time to see a well-dressed woman appear there, perfectly turned out with the exception of the expression of shock on her face.

  Brit sat up, equally surprised. The fact that she was nearly naked didn’t occur to her until she saw her mother looking at the pile of clothing still on the floor from the night before. “Mom. Hi,” Brit said, trying to keep her vocal cords from trembling as she spoke.

  “Britain, what’s going on here?” her mother demanded.

  Brit dropped her jaw as she noticed her mother taking it all in—the candles, the lunch tray beside the bed, the woman in the bed beside her.

  “Get dressed, Britain. I’ll be in the living room,” she said, and she turned around and walked back through the doorway.

  “Oh, fuck,” Brit said as she collapsed back into the pillows.

  Alex sat up and turned to face Brit. Her concern was evident in the creased eyes and pursed lips, and Brit could hear Alex’s voice wavering, too. “How could this happen to me twice in one lifetime?” Alex asked.

  “I think you got off easy last time.”

  “Just tell her I came over to keep you company. I brought you food,” she suggested.

  Brit sighed as she slipped from the bed and reached and pulled some clothes from her dresser. She turned to face Alex, who was also dressing. “You can stay in here if you’d like.”

  Alex shook her head. “And let you face the executioner alone? Never. We’re in this together.”

  She found a measure of comfort in knowing that, but it wasn’t enough to erase the fear that gripped her. But they dressed and then Alex followed her to the living room. Her mom had claimed the recliner but sat on its edge, anything but relaxed. Her sister Jordan was leaning against the wall near the kitchen, silently watching.

  “Hi, Jordy,” Brit said as she offered a feeble smile.

  “Hey, sis.” Jordan didn’t even attempt to smile.

  Brit sat on the couch and Alex walked past her before sitting, erecting a barrier between Brit and her mother. Brit tried to picture her mother taking on Alex, pushing her back onto the couch and attacking her. Somehow she knew Alex wouldn’t fight back. Fortunately, Joan Dodge was much too dignified to throw punches. She battled with words.

  “Mom, you remember Alex,” she said by way of breaking the ice.

  A half smile appeared on her mother’s face, and Brit knew it was only a gesture to maintain appearances. Her mother was scrambling, and keeping to routine as much as possible would help her regain the control she thought she’d lost. Brit knew her so well, knew how she manipulated people—herself included—and she was so tired of it all.

  “Yes, of course. Merry Christmas to you and yours, Alex.”

  Alex nodded but didn’t smile. “Merry Christmas.”

  This is anything but merry, Brit thought as she pondered how to handle her mother. She spared Brit by taking charge, as she always did.

  The smile faded as she pierced Brit with her dark eyes. “Britain, I demand to know what’s going on here! I thought you were sick!”

  Brit returned her mother’s steely gaze and knew she understood the meaning of the bedroom scene. She also knew her mother well enough to know she could deny it and convince her mother she’d been mistaken. Her mother didn’t really want to know the truth; she just wanted a reasonable story she could live with. She’d accept whatever ridiculous tale Brit told her to explain why she was spending Christmas Day half-naked in bed with Alex. It would be much easier to accept a lie than to accept her daughter’s sexuality.

  One little lie. That’s all she needed to make it all go away. Brit looked from her mother to Alex, not even bothering to gaze in her sister’s direction. Jordan was suspiciously quiet, and Brit didn’t intend to complicate matters even more by dragging her into the conversation.

  Her mother’s look was expectant—hopeful, even. Brit could just imagine her thoughts. Please tell me something plausible to take away this fear I have about why you’ve never dated a single one of the many handsome young men I’ve hand-picked for you. Brit looked to Alex. It had been only a month, but she could read Alex pretty well, too. I’m so sorry this is happening to you, Brit. Do what you have to. I’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.

  Brit didn’t seem to have a drop of saliva left in her mouth, in spite of the fact that she’d swallowed half a dozen times as she tried to speak. And then her mother must have sensed her fears and decided that perhaps forgetting the entire episode and avoiding a conversation might be the more prudent course of action. “Britain, pack your bags. I’m taking you home. You need to rest and spend some time with your family.”

  Now Brit knew she had to say something—to one or the other of them. Her mom was squirming on the chair. Alex looked resigned to the idea that she’d spend the rest of the day alone.

  Brit swallowed again and then turned to her sister. “Jordy, would you get us some water, please?” Then she slid over on the couch so that her leg was nearly touching Alex’s. Her mother might have thought she was moving closer to her, but Alex sat a little taller and placed her hand on Brit’s back for support. Alex knew, and it only made Brit that much more confident about what she had to say. She finally had to say the words. As much as she loved her family, she had a right to live her life with the woman she loved.

  “Mom, I’m not going home with you. I’m spending the day with Alex.” Brit looked from her mom to Alex and back again. “I’m in love with her, Mom.”

  Joan sat forward and waved a dismissive hand in their general direction. “What? That’s ridiculous! Pack your things right now, Britain!”

  Brit leaned forward just a little and locked eyes with her mother. The anger and fear she saw was startling, but it didn’t deter her. Alex’s hand on her back was fortifying. “Mom, I’m a lesbian. I’m sorry you had to find out this way, but it’s true. I wanted to spend this day with my lover, so I lied to you because I didn’t want to ruin your holiday by telling you the truth.”

  “So you ruined my holiday this way, instead.”

  Brit accepted the water offered by her sister and took a sip, then leaned back into the couch. “That wasn’t my intent. But I know how much you guys love me, so I should have figured you’d come over. Did you bring food?”

  Her mother stood and stabbed a finger in Brit’s direction. “How dare you make light of this! I’m giving you one more chance to come home, and if you don’t take it, I’m not sure what the consequences will be, but I can assure you, there will be consequences!”

  Brit didn’t stand. She didn’t have the energy, and worried her legs would give out if she tried. Instead she leaned farther into the cushions of her couch and looked at her mom and her sister. She knew this would be their reaction. She’d always known it, which was precisely why she’d never come out to them. But going home with them wouldn’t change the fact that she was gay and in love with Alex.

  “I’m sorry you feel that way, Mom. I really am. But I’m not going home with you.”

  Her mother didn’t waste her energy on a good-bye and didn’t even look Alex’s way before she hurried through the door.
>
  “Call me later,” Jordan whispered. It was the first thing she’d said since exchanging hellos, and Brit knew she’d been right to keep this information from her sister as well. She hadn’t come to Brit’s defense; she’d simply stood silently by as her mother threatened her and then ran out the door behind her.

  Shifting slightly, Alex turned and silently wrapped her arms around Brit, pulling her closer. Brit had a vague sense of Alex’s presence, heard mumbling words and felt suddenly warmer, but she couldn’t seem to focus on what was happening around her. Her mind was occupied with her mother’s parting words. I can assure you, there will be consequences! Brit had no doubt there would be, and understanding her mother as she did, Brit feared those consequences would not only affect her, but everyone else she loved as well.

  Her father! She should call him, warn him. Tell him the truth, before her mother did. She found her phone in the kitchen, and sat beside Alex on the couch just as he answered the call. “How’s the head?” he asked.

  Brit sighed. “It’s fine. I’m calling to tell you something. Can you talk?”

  “Yes, of course. What is it?”

  Brit could hear the concern in his voice. “Daddy, I lied about the headache. I, I just wanted to have some time away, because I met someone special.” She paused, gathering her courage. This was so hard, and she wished she wasn’t telling him over the phone. “Someone I really care about, and I…”

  His voice boomed when he interrupted her. “Britain! Do you finally have a boyfriend?”

  “No, Dad. I finally have a girlfriend.”

  There was a pause as he cleared his throat. Brit could imagine him sitting down, or collapsing onto the floor.

  “Dad?”

  “I don’t understand, Brit. Are you saying you’re a lesbian?”

  Brit closed her eyes as she clutched the phone. “Yes, I am. I’m sorry to tell you like this, but Mom just stormed out of here and I didn’t want you to hear it from her first.”

  “What happened? Are you okay?”

  Brit laughed and wiped away a tear. “Not really, but I will be. She’s pretty upset right now, though. I think I ruined Christmas.”