BOB's Bar (Tales From The Multiverse Book 2)

by Jay Allan

  “Then it was time for the really crappy part. Communication with the slugs is easiest when they’re close to your brain. Like, really close. I’d seen people do this before with mixed results, but there wasn’t much choice. I held the slug up to my ear and it slipped in, curling up in the outer section.”

  Charline shuddered at the memory. “It is the grossest, slimiest feeling you can imagine. I’ve had Cyanites riding in my ear a few times since then, but it’s still not something I’m used to.”

  Kelsey shuddered. “Ewww!”

  “Bethany Anne shook her head. “Sorry, that planet might have had to die. Have two tag-a-longs in me already, don’t need a third!”

  “Space bugs in peoples ears? Khan! Damn you, KHAAAAANNN!” Amanda said with a laugh.

  “I climbed back inside the Armor, breathing a sigh of relief as I buttoned down the hatch again. ‘Okay,’ I said aloud. ‘Talk. What the hell is going on here?’ I’d had limited experience with Cyanites before then, so I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect.

  “Revolution. War. The rebels who wanted to battle off-worlders now hunt our own kind, the Cyanite thought at me. Their leviathan fish slaughters our people by the millions.” Charline grimaced.

  “It was basically genocide by civil war, and I’d landed in the middle of it all,” she continued. “The best part? The stupid non-lethal weapons loadout meant I had limited options. Oh, I could still call in a strike from orbit, but that would kill me along with the fish. I did ask the captain of the ship to pretty-please send down the armed team, but that was going to take time.

  “I needed some sort of solution, and I needed it fast. As I was looking around, I was struck by the similarities of the whale’s mouth to an old childhood film I’d seen,” Charline said. “A cartoon where someone gets swallowed by a whale and has to get out. I looked at my weapons and figured, why not? I’d give it a shot.

  “I asked the Cyanite, ‘What can you tell me about this fish?’ He replied, It’s not a fish, but more like one of your whales. It was able to draw images from my mind, and altered them to show me what the alien whale looked like. Sure enough, it had a blowhole on top which led to a tube down into the lungs. Some designs just work, I guess.” Charline smiled.

  “I climbed up to about where the breathing tube was and cut my way into it. I had to go slow. I didn’t want to startle the creature and make it swallow me. The mouth spasmed around me a little every time I cut too fast, and I had to hang on for dear life. Finally, I was in. The tube was way too small to slip inside, but I didn’t need to.”

  “Why didn’t you just blast your way out?” Blackhawk asked.

  “Non-lethal munitions, remember? I had rubber bullets and smoke grenades. I fired my entire grenade load down the shaft right into the critter’s lungs, then I dropped back onto the tongue and sprinted for the teeth,” she said. “I’d almost made it when the whale started convulsing. The tongue shook so hard I could barely stay on my feet. I jumped and grabbed one of the teeth. I fired a piton with a rope attached to it into the tooth just as the whale surfaced and exhaled from every hole it had, mouth included!”

  “I swung my way out of the mouth faster than you can say ‘off the hook,’” Charline stated. She grinned at the groans from her listeners. “The water was deep. I had no idea how deep. But I only had a few hundred feet of cable on the line spooling out. I wasn’t going to go far, and Monstro the whale was going to be pissed when he stopped gasping for air.”

  She leaned forward, smiling conspiratorially at the others gathered around the table. “But sometimes, you just need to bring the right rod and reel with you when you go fishing.”

  “Damn!” Kelsey exclaimed.

  “Dear Independence, I said over the radio to my orbiting ship, I am clear of the whale. Will you please fire for effect?” Charline continued. “Railgun rounds slammed into the whale a few seconds later. I waited until the rounds stopped swooshing through the water and then reeled my way back up to the fish, which was dead. I had to sit tight for a bit, and almost ended up with the callsign ‘Jonas’ until I convinced the boys that was a bad idea.”

  “Oh, yeah? Convinced them, did you?” Amanda asked with a suggestive wink.

  Charline smiled, showing all her teeth. “I can be very convincing when I want to be. But in this case, I just told them I’d volunteer them for permanent duty on Cyan if they didn’t quit it.”

  Amanda laughed.

  “What happened to the whale?” Cain wondered.

  “Well, we took the rebellious Cyanites who survived into custody and repatriated them to their people. We also rescued as many as we could from the thing’s mouth. It wasn’t many,” Charline grimaced. “Anderson was dead, but we recovered what we could of him as well.”

  “But the whale!” Rika said.

  “Hey, that mother-fucker tried to eat me. What do you think we did with it?” Charline asked. “Biggest fish bake ever. And I do mean ever.”

  Kelsey clapped, obviously delighted. “Now that’s what I call getting revenge.”

  “And that, ladies and gents, was how I caught the largest fish in the galaxy.”

  Closing Time

  “There’s something fishy about that story,” Amanda remarked with a wry smile.

  “With a nicely baked ending,” Kelsey added with a grin. “Well done, even.”

  Charline raised her hand to her forehead, then lowered it with a regal wave in response.

  “So, how do we rank the stories and figure out who won?” Amanda asked. “I mean, I know who I’m voting for.”

  “Is the goal to have the tallest tale or to just have had a great time?” Kelsey asked. “I liked them all, especially since most were more awesome than mine.”

  “I assumed the goal was to drink beer and stay out until one’s pregnant wife fell asleep,” Ridge mused.

  “I liked Beth’s.” Rika nodded to the small woman. “I mean, they were all good, but that one was romantic, too.”

  “You big softy,” Amanda replied with a smile and rapped her knuckles on Rika’s arm with a clank-clank of metal. “I think Artur’s is going to be hard to beat.”

  With the last story told, BOB’s imperative lessened as if dialed back. All of the data had been gathered and uplinked to the Collector, so its mission was essentially over. The only thing left was to return the subjects to their homes.

  BOB gave the command, and the glasses, filled before the last story, unobtrusively emptied, leaving only a swallow or two. It tweaked the compulsion command which had been fading in effectiveness from a desire to talk and share stories to a desire to go back home.

  “Before we go,” Kelsey said, standing and raising her glass. “A toast to you all for being amazing. May fortune smile on you, and may we one day meet again to tell more sea stories!”

  “First in, first out?” Cain asked, nodding at Bethany Anne. She motioned for him to go first. “I thank you all for the insight into your universes. From magic to mechs to palace intrigue, I have much to contemplate.”

  “Well, BOB, it’s been great. Another excellent evening sharing stories,” Amanda said to the robot before turning to everyone else. “Thanks for listening to my crappy story, everyone. Yours were all far superior. Rika, if you see Tanis any time soon, tell her I said hi. Artur, it’s been…an experience, that’s for sure.” She winked.

  “To be sure, sweetheart. It’s been the breast… I mean, the bollocks, so it has.”

  Rika waved to the redheaded woman. “I’ll do that, but it seems like you see her more than I do.”

  Amanda laughed, bid everyone farewell, and sauntered out of the bar with a smile and a wave.

  Kelsey took an old, worn coin from her pocket and left it on the bar. “BOB, I found this on Razor. I have no idea what it’s worth, but please accept it in exchange for your most excellent beverages and even better nachos. It likely doesn’t match the value of your service, but I ask you to keep it as a memento to mark the occasion when we met.”

  She
waved at the rest as she headed for the door. “Until we meet again.”

  Bethany Anne nodded to everyone and took the now practically licked-clean chocolate plate to the bar and set it there, “Should I ever come back I’ll need a whole cake, please.” She winked and waved to those remaining. “Till next time.” She walked out with a smile and just the smallest amount of chocolate smeared on her cheek. BOB wondered what she would make of that when she got back.

  Rika rose from her chair and reached behind her back, pulling free the meter-long barrel of her GNR and slotting it back into place on her gun-arm. Once it was seated, she picked up the container of nachos that BOB had given her and sketched a salute with the barrel.

  “Thanks for an entertaining evening, folks. I can’t wait to share some of these stories with my team.” She gave them a final nod before walking through the door.

  Ridge simply said, “It was a pleasure meeting you. I wish you all the best,” before heading out.

  Blackhawk stood and hesitated as if he wanted to say something, then shook his head and walked out.

  “He’s a quiet one,” Charline remarked.

  “Troubled,” Floribeth replied. “I hope I never have to face something like that.” She drained her Coke and stood up. “And with that, I think I’m pulling chocks.”

  “Me, too,” Charline agreed. “Let me walk out with you.”

  “If ye lassies don’t mind, I think I’ll be leavin’ with ye too,” Artur said. “Maybe that door’ll send us together and we can have us a nightcap, if ye know what I mean.”

  Charline looked at the door and said, “I get the feeling that thing will send each of us back to our homes.”

  “Don’t hurt to try, now.”

  “What about you, Standish?”

  “In a minute. You three go ahead.”

  He watched the three leave, Artur flanked by the much larger women. He picked up the bottle of Midori and studied it for a moment, wondering idly how BOB had gotten it. He was an expert at this kind of thing, and the bottle was legit. Out of habit, he tucked the bottle under his shirt and stood, giving BOB one last look. The bartender wasn’t watching him. He took two steps, then stopped. With a sigh, he removed the bottle of Midori and placed it back on the table before turning and marching out of the bar.

  With Standish gone, BOB was alone. A pulse hit it, tickling its circuits. Once again, the Collector was pleased. BOB didn’t know whether that meant there would be a third mission here or not. Surprising itself, BOB hoped so.

  The bartender of the Multiverse Bar returned to the table, loaded the dirty glasses and plates in a tray, and carried them back to the bar. BOB picked up its rag and started cleaning.

  About the Authors and Their Other Tales

  Kevin McLaughlin

  USA Today bestselling author Kevin McLaughlin has written more than three dozen science fiction and fantasy novels, along with more short stories than he can easily count. Kevin can be found most days in downtown Boston, working on the next novel. His bestselling Blackwell Magic fantasy series, Accord science fiction series, Valhalla Online LitRPG series, and the fan-favorite Starship Satori series are ongoing.

  Charline Foster is a character from the Adventures of the Starship Satori series; you can read more about her story beginning with the first novel, Ad Astra.

  You can find more information on Kevin’s books here:

  https://www.kevinomclaughlin.com/

  Andrew Dobell

  Andrew is an author and artist living in the UK with his wife and children. He writes in a diverse range of Sci-Fi and Fantasy worlds.

  Amanda, the character in this book, is the main character in his Magi Saga and Star Magi series.

  The Magi Saga starts as an Urban Fantasy Series but soon grows in scope into a new Space Fantasy series. The events in this book take place after the first Star Magi Saga book and Andrew’s forthcoming Quantum Legends books.

  In addition to his writing, Andrew is also a prolific book cover artist who not only created the cover for this book, and all his own, but has contributed covers to Michael Anderle’s Kurtherian Gambit Universe, M. D. Cooper’s Aeon 14 Universe, as well as working with many other Indie authors.

  Being included in this book has been a huge honor. Thank you.

  BOOK SERIES BY ANDREW DOBELL

  Star Magi (Space Fantasy)

  Magi Dawn (Urban Fantasy)

  The New Prometheus (Cyberpunk)

  Wasteland Road Knights: Liberation (Post-Apocalyptic)

  LINKS

  www.andrewdobellauthor.co.uk

  Join Andrew’s Facebook Group here:

  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1700893393268961/

  Richard Fox

  Interested in more of Standish’s story and the war against the Xaros? Sign up for my spam-free mailing list and receive afree copy of THE EMBER WAR! (http://eepurl.com/czYmxH)

  The Earth is doomed. Humanity has a chance.

  In the near future, an alien probe arrives on Earth with a pivotal mission—determine if humanity has what it takes to survive the impending invasion by a merciless armada.

  The probe discovers Marc Ibarra, a young inventor, who holds the key to a daring gambit that could save a fraction of Earth's population. Humanity's only chance lies with Ibarra's ability to keep a terrible secret and engineer the planet down the narrow path to survival.

  Earth will need a fleet. One with a hidden purpose. One strong enough to fight a battle against annihilation.

  The Ember War is the first installment in an epic military sci-fi series. If you like A Hymn Before Battle by John Ringo and The Last Starship by Vaughn Heppner, then you'll love this explosive adventure with constant thrills and high stakes from cover to cover.

  Sign up for my spam-free mailing list and read it for FREE: (http://eepurl.com/czYmxH)

  Michael Anderle

  So, Colonel Jonathan Brazee and I were talking at 20Booksto50k Las Vegas (2017), and he told a small group around him about “I shit you not…” Sea Stories. Now, I had been wondering how to do something FUN that would help us market each other’s books, and I thought I saw the twist.

  The book would comprise sea stories that the OTHER characters in the book would interact with, so Jonathan’s question back to me was “where would these characters meet?” How would we get our characters from disparate universes together to chat?

  What was the hook?

  I told him I loved the memory of Baen’s Bar and the whole idea of a watering hole these characters might get to come to and just talk shop and then leave, probably never remembering their time in the bar…

  And these stories were born out of that beginning.

  I’m honored to have our stories together, and to be a part of something I hope you, the fans, really love!

  Michael Anderle

  Yada yada yada a bit about me:

  I’m a Bestselling Top 100 Amazon Author predominantly in Sci-Fi and Urban Fantasy / Paranormal. I have a Universe (The Kurtherian Gambit) with over a hundred and five books in it right now (and twenty-eight Audiobooks) and another Urban Fantasy / Fantasy Universe with Martha Carr called Oriceran (Or-eh-SAIR-en.)

  Bethany Anne is the character who launched my career and is a fan favorite. Check out anything you want of our products by just typing in LMBPN Publishing on Amazon!

  Check out Bethany Anne’s story Book01 Death Becomes Her HERE:

  http://www.Books2Read/BarStoriesDeathBecomesHer

  M. D. Cooper

  Begin Rika’s Marauders with Rika Outcast, and find out how Rika became a mech and met the other members of Team Basilik.

  If you like mechs and hard-hitting military science fiction, you’re going to love Rika and her mechs. Find out what the woman with a will of steel and a heart of gold finds her way and a galaxy that fears her while wanting to use her strength.

  Other Series by M. D. Cooper in the Aeon 14 Universe

  The Sentience Wars: Origins

  The Intrepid Saga

 
; Perilous Alliance

  The Orion War

  Perseus Gate: Orion Space

  Perseus Gate: Inner Stars

  The Warlord

  Machete System Bounty Hunter

  Barry J. Hutchison

  Barry J. Hutchison is a multi-award-winning author from the Highlands of Scotland. After writing over eighty books for children and teens, Barry turned his gaze to the stars in 2016 when he launched his first book for adult readers, Space Team.

  Seven books and two spinoffs later, the Space Team Universe continues to grow, thanks to Barry’s unique blend of humor, seat-of-the-pants action, and making things up as he goes along. He writes from a cramped little home office at the foot of Scotland’s highest mountain, where he lives with his wife, two children, and an extremely annoying dog. He spends his days writing, drinking tea, and talking about himself in the third person.

  Find out more about Barry at barryjhutchison.com

  Download a free short story collection at barryjhutchison.com/freebooks

  Books by Barry J. Hutchison

  The Space Team Series

  Space Team

  Space Team: The Wrath of Vajazzle

  Space Team: The Search for Splurt

  Space Team: Song of the Space Siren

  Space Team: The Guns of Nana Joan

  Space Team: Return of the Dead Guy

  Space Team: Planet of the Japes