Second Time Around

by Colette Caddle

  ‘Is everything okay?’

  ‘Not really,’ Sharon admitted.

  ‘Put the kettle on. I’m on my way.’

  ‘Thanks, Jess,’ Sharon said, never more grateful that she had a big sister to turn to. She filled the kettle and set out mugs and biscuits. She was just looking critically at her tired, anxious face in the mirror when the doorbell rang.

  Jess stood there, grinning, holding up a bag. ‘I brought doughnuts.’

  Sharon groaned and patted her stomach. ‘I really shouldn’t. I seem to be piling on the weight lately.’

  ‘Rubbish.’

  ‘You haven’t seen me trying to get into my jeans.’

  Jess followed her into the sunny kitchen and pulled up a chair. ‘So, what’s up?’

  Sharon made the tea and sat down. She selected a doughnut and licked some of the sticky sugar coating off before replying. ‘Do you really need to ask?’

  ‘Mum.’ Jess said.

  ‘Mum,’ Sharon agreed. ‘She’s getting to you too?’

  ‘I can’t bear to be around her, to be honest. I always seem to end up angry or upset. And now there’s a bloody dog, too. She says she didn’t remember I was scared of them, but I wonder.’

  ‘I don’t visit much either,’ Sharon admitted, relieved that it wasn’t just her. ‘She’s getting more and more critical and the way she talks to Bobby, the things she says to him, honestly, sometimes I want to slap her.’

  Jess nodded in sympathy. ‘Sensitive she isn’t. I time my visits for when she’s not there and leave a message or send a text saying, “Sorry I missed you.” I do check to see if anything needs doing around the house, but she seems to be coping fine.’

  ‘She gets tired easily,’ Sharon said.

  ‘Yes, I’ve noticed that.’

  ‘What does Noel think?’ Sharon swallowed the last of the doughnut and found herself eyeing another. Where was this appetite coming from?

  ‘We haven’t really had the chance to discuss it.’

  ‘So I know what Mum fights with me about, but what’s she doing to upset you? You’ve always been close, I don’t remember you ever rowing.’

  Jess gave her a look that was both embarrassed and defensive. ‘Okay, I’ll tell you but don’t give me a hard time.’

  Sharon looked at her curiously. ‘Of course I won’t. Why would I?’

  ‘Mum saw me with a guy—’

  ‘You’re dating? That’s great, Jess, I’m delighted for you.’ Secretly, Sharon hoped he was an improvement on the others. Jess seemed to go for men who didn’t treat her very well. Sharon could never understand it. She’d always been a bit jealous of her big sister’s good looks but while Sharon was out having a good time, Jess was studying. Sharon’s partying had come to a stop, though, when she met Keith and, within weeks had fallen hook, line and sinker for him. Thankfully, he felt the same way. When she’d told him, anxiously, she was pregnant, he’d been thrilled and immediately asked her to marry him. Bobby had just turned one and she was twenty when they tied the knot. So much for her dream of being free and having lots of fun! Not that she had any regrets. But it would be nice occasionally to forget that she was a wife and mother and just be Sharon again.

  She looked back at her sister, wondering what Jess was so reluctant to talk about. ‘Come on, tell me all about him, and don’t worry if he doesn’t get Mum’s thumbs-up. As long as you’re happy, to hell with her.’

  ‘It’s a bit more complicated than that,’ Jess said in a small voice. ‘He’s married.’

  Sharon looked at her in dismay. ‘Oh, Jess.’

  Jess put up a hand. ‘Don’t.’

  ‘I’m not going to give you a sermon, I promise. I’m the one who got herself pregnant at eighteen, so I’m hardly in a position to throw stones.’

  ‘At least Keith was single. I told Mum that I thought Louis was separated, but I don’t think she believes me.’

  ‘Are you still seeing him?’ Sharon asked, feeling sorry for her sister.

  Jess shook her head. ‘No.’

  ‘Good for you. Did you love him?’

  Jess ran her finger through the crumbs on her plate. ‘I’m beginning to wonder,’ she admitted. ‘I thought he cared about me but now I’m not so sure. I may have been one in a long line of affairs.’

  ‘Shithead,’ Sharon pronounced. ‘You’re better off without him.’

  ‘Yeah. The only problem is that it’s Louis Healy, the editor of the Gazette and he gives me the meatiest subjects to write about. Still, that will probably change now. He didn’t take it very well when I finished with him. I’ve discovered that he has a rather nasty side.’

  ‘Oh, well, fuck that, Jess.’ She put a hand to her mouth and groaned. ‘Listen to me. I’m turning into Mum.’

  Jess giggled. ‘Not a chance.’

  ‘But, seriously, if he’s going to play dirty then you can too. I’m sure that he’d leave you alone if you threatened to shop him to his wife.’

  ‘I don’t have the stomach for that kind of thing, Shaz, and, anyway, what’s she done to deserve that sort of grief?’

  Sharon sighed. ‘Look, just concentrate on your other jobs, don’t talk to him and, whatever you do, don’t meet up with him.’

  Jess smiled at her. ‘I won’t. Thanks, Shaz.’

  ‘Don’t thank me yet, sweetie, I’m buttering you up because I need a favour.’

  Jess gave a dramatic roll of her eyes. ‘I should have known there’d be a catch. Go on, then, spit it out.’

  ‘Keith wants to take me out one night next week. We have some things we need to talk – or argue – about and he thought we should do it on neutral territory.’

  ‘Makes sense. So you want me to babysit? No problem.’

  ‘It’s a little more complicated than that. Mum is babysitting, only . . .’ Sharon couldn’t bring herself to say it.

  ‘Only . . .?’ Jess prompted and then her eyes widened in understanding. ‘You don’t trust her.’

  Sharon swallowed the lump in her throat. ‘I don’t think she’d harm Bobby, not deliberately but, given how she behaves with him in front of us, well, how do I know what she’s capable of if she’s left alone with him?’

  Jess stared at her for a moment and then finally shook her head, her eyes bright with tears. ‘Every time I think I’ve got my head round what’s happened to Mum, something new comes along to knock the wind out of me. I’m beginning to wonder if we’ll ever have the same relationship again.’

  ‘I’ve been reading up online. There are support groups.’

  Jess gave a wry smile. ‘I’ve been reading, too. The nurse gave me leaflets and contact numbers when they were discharging Mum, and I never thought that we would need anything like that. But they knew this was probably on the cards, didn’t they?’

  Sharon shrugged. ‘To be honest, I’m not sure they have a clue what lies ahead. From what I’ve read, nearly all sufferers of traumatic brain injury react differently, improve at various rates or not at all, and have completely different problems afterwards.’

  ‘I suppose it’s down to what part of the brain is injured.’

  ‘I assume so. On the bright side, Mum seems to be at the healthier end of the scale. I remind myself of that every night before I go to sleep.’

  Jess reached out and squeezed her hand. ‘I’m glad we at least have each other. I think I’d crack up if I was going through this alone.’

  ‘Likewise. Have you still got those leaflets?’

  ‘They’re somewhere in the flat. Do you think we should persuade her to get some help?’

  ‘We’ve got to do something.’ Sharon gave a weary sigh. She always seemed to feel tired these days. ‘Right now, though, I can’t think further ahead than leaving Bobby alone with Mum.’

  ‘You want me to be here as well?’ Jess looked less than comfortable at the idea.

  ‘Please. If you dropped by supposedly to see me and stayed, that would be great.’

  Jess looked at her. ‘Babysit the babysitter? I
’ll try, Shaz but she’ll probably tell me to get lost.’

  ‘Please, Jess? Yes, you’ll be doing me a favour but you’ll have her cornered and she’ll have to listen to your side of the story. I’m sure she’ll mellow when she knows you’ve finished with the man. You know Mum adores you.’

  ‘Mellow? Ha! You didn’t see the state of her that night. I thought she was going to have a heart attack. As for finishing with Louis’ – Jess sighed – ‘I’m a sorry, pathetic fool. If he turns on the charm I’m not convinced I’ll be able to resist him, sad bitch that I am.’

  Sharon looked at her, shocked at the disgust and self-loathing in her sister’s voice. ‘Hang on a sec. The woman I talked to on the phone a little while ago was telling me how she was on top of things. She was focused, confident and knew exactly what she wanted.’

  Jess raised tortured eyes to her. ‘Yeah, but that woman has a habit of disappearing whenever he’s around.’

  ‘You’re so much stronger than you realise, Jess,’ Sharon told her. ‘You’re the one who got me and Noel through these last few months. You can easily walk away from this guy. Writing’s your thing, Jess, and you’re good at it. In fact, why don’t you write down all the nasty things he’s said, the times he’s let you down and made you downright miserable, and read it every time you feel yourself weaken?’

  ‘That’s not a bad idea,’ Jess said with a reluctant smile.

  ‘Good. Now will you come and keep an eye on Mum or not?’

  Jess relented. ‘Yeah, okay. I suppose we have to thrash things out sooner or later.’

  Sharon hugged her. ‘Thank you! I’m sure that Bobby will be asleep and I promise we won’t stay out long.’

  ‘Perhaps there’ll be some protection for me too. Mum can hardly yell at me with Bobby upstairs asleep.’

  Sharon gave her a wary look. ‘I wouldn’t count on it but I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.’

  Chapter Fourteen

  Suzie was up and dressed and feeling much better when Nora texted to say that she was in Dublin and suggested meeting for a late lunch. It was exactly what Suzie needed and she agreed immediately. Aileen would be happy to keep an eye on Percy, not that he seemed to need it, she thought fondly. Suzie hoped that Nora wasn’t planning on telling her any more home truths. She needed a laugh and a chat and then maybe she’d tell her friend about the group that she’d contacted and was going to meet next week. She felt very nervous about it and wouldn’t mind some moral support, but the lady she’d talked to had made it clear that it was a group of TBI survivors only. The purpose was that they could vent their frustrations to each other without hurting their loved ones, which, she supposed, made sense. She still wasn’t looking forward to it.

  Suzie studied the menu, disappointed in Nora’s choice of restaurant. It looked very fancy, but the food was weird and everything seemed to involve salad. Still, it was in the heart of Dublin and she was enjoying people-watching from their table by the large picture window.

  ‘So, how’s the list coming along?’ Nora asked once they had ordered.

  ‘It’s not.’ Suzie took a sip of her chilled wine that Nora had chosen and nodded her approval. ‘Apart from the meditation and the book club, I haven’t organised anything else.’

  ‘Perhaps it’s just as well now that you’ve a dog to mind.’ Nora smiled.

  ‘Ha, true. I can’t wait for you to meet him, Nora. He’s a pet, gentle and loving. I’m thrilled I got him.’

  ‘So, you’re definitely keeping him?’

  ‘Absolutely, although in Jess’s eyes that will make me public enemy number one. Did you know that she’d been attacked by a dog when she was little?’

  Nora nodded slowly. ‘It happened before you came to Limerick. I remember you showing me the scar. You’d changed her hair to cover it so other children wouldn’t be asking her about it and reminding her.’

  ‘Did I?’ Suzie was frightened that she’d forgotten something like that. ‘I’d better talk to her. I pretty much dismissed her fear but, still, this dog wouldn’t hurt a fly.’

  ‘I’m sure that she’ll get used to him. How’s Sharon doing?’

  Suzie rolled her eyes. ‘Rowing with Keith about Bobby, from what I can gather. He’s taking her out some night next week to have a heart-to-heart while I babysit. I’m hoping he’ll be able to talk some sense into her.’

  ‘It’s good of you to babysit, I’m sure—’

  Nora was interrupted by a knock on the window. Suzie laughed and waved. ‘It’s Mandy.’ She beckoned her sister to join them. ‘You don’t mind, do you, Nora?’

  ‘Do I have a choice?’ Nora sighed, clearly unimpressed.

  ‘Oh, don’t be like that. I know she’s a bit much but she means well.’ Suzie saw Nora’s eyes widen in disbelief but Mandy had already breezed in and Suzie stood up to hug her sister. Nora didn’t stir, her cool smile making it clear that Mandy wasn’t welcome. Annoyed, Suzie snatched a glass from the next table and poured a liberal amount of wine into it. Nora’s mouth settled into a thin line but Suzie ignored her.

  ‘On another shopping spree?’ she asked Mandy.

  ‘No, hanging around waiting for Douglas. He’s in the library.’

  ‘Do you drive him everywhere?’ Nora asked.

  ‘God forbid. No, his rust-bucket wouldn’t start, so he asked me to give him a lift. Why the man won’t buy a new car is beyond me. Lord knows he can well afford it. The only thing keeping that wreck together is dirt.’ Mandy took a sip of wine and glanced at her watch. ‘I suppose I should let him know where I am.’

  ‘We’ve already ordered,’ Suzie said. ‘Do you want something to eat?’

  ‘No, I’m fine.’ Mandy tapped a text into her phone and took another sip.

  Nora, rather pointedly, poured her a glass of water and gave an innocent shrug when Suzie glared at her.

  ‘How are your plans for Croatia coming along?’ Suzie asked.

  ‘Slowly, very slowly. Douglas is not a man to be rushed.’

  ‘Mandy’s trying to wangle an all-expenses-paid holiday in Zagreb,’ Suzie explained.

  ‘Nice,’ Nora said.

  Mandy gave a dreamy sigh. ‘It will be. I’ve been checking out the hotel online and it’s very luxurious.’

  ‘He “and companion” have been invited,’ Suzie explained, ‘but he doesn’t know that she plans to be the companion yet.’

  ‘Why not just ask him outright?’ Nora asked, looking bored.

  ‘I need to pick my moment. He’s a grumpy bugger and I’m not flavour of the month right now, as I dumped some of his old clothes.’

  Nora raised her eyebrows. ‘That was a bit presumptuous.’

  ‘It was only a couple of jackets and jeans and they were ancient. We’d bought him replacements and I didn’t think he’d miss the stuff.’

  ‘If you did that to me you’d get a kick up the arse and be out of a job,’ Suzie told her.

  Their salads were served and Mandy stole a prawn from her sister’s plate. ‘Douglas is lucky to have me. Not many would put up with him.’

  ‘Are you kidding me?’ Suzie scoffed. ‘You have it easy! If you decide to move on, tell Douglas that I’m more than happy to replace you.’

  ‘Seriously?’ Nora asked, sitting forward. ‘Would you be interested in getting back into the workplace?’

  Suzie felt a spark of excitement at the thought of being back in an office again. ‘Do you know, I really think I would? Being idle is bad for the old grey matter. I need stimulation.’

  ‘You were doing quite well before you got married,’ Mandy remembered. ‘Mam was always going on about your high-powered job and telling me I’d have to study if I wanted to get on as well as you.’ She flashed a smile. ‘I proved her wrong, though. There are easier ways.’

  Suzie saw Nora’s expression and figured she’d have to keep these two women apart. Had her friend always had a low opinion of her sister? Yet another thing that she couldn’t remember. She pushed the rabbit food round her plate wond
ering if she could order a side of chips.

  Mandy groaned as her phone rang. ‘Typical. As soon as I get a glass in my hand, Douglas is ready to go.’

  ‘Ask him to join us,’ Suzie suggested on impulse. ‘I’m curious to meet him.’

  Mandy answered the phone and gave Douglas directions to the restaurant. ‘He’s just going to say a quick hi,’ she said after he’d rung off. ‘The man is so antisocial, it’s unbelievable.’

  ‘It’s hard to imagine the two of you getting on. Why on earth would you want to go to Croatia with him?’ Nora said.

  ‘It will be fine. He can wander around old ruins while I’m in the spa or sunbathing.’ She winked and then, glancing at the door, lowered her voice. ‘Here he is now, not another word, ladies.’

  Following Mandy’s gaze, Suzie blinked and blinked again. It couldn’t be. He hesitated a moment and she saw that he was just as surprised to see her, but then his face broke into a broad smile as he made his way over to them.

  Mandy made the introductions. ‘Suzie, this is Douglas Thornton. Douglas, this is my sister and her friend, Nora.’

  Thornton? Suzie frowned, confused. Why was he calling himself that? He took her hand and held it between his, blue eyes twinkling.

  ‘It’s wonderful to meet you, Suzie. I’ve heard a lot about you. I hope you’re recovering well from your accident.’

  ‘I am, thanks,’ she said, wondering why he was pretending they didn’t know each other, but deciding to play along. He must have his reasons. ‘It’s lovely to finally meet you. Mandy talks a lot about you too.’

  He glanced at her sister and raised an eyebrow. ‘Mandy?’

  She scowled. ‘Childhood nickname. Don’t use it if you expect me to answer.’

  ‘I’ll try to remember that.’ Douglas chuckled, shook hands with Nora and then pulled up a chair next to Suzie. She couldn’t believe that after all this time he was sitting here beside her. He looked older and greyer but still handsome, although more subdued, and there was sadness and weariness in his eyes. ‘You’re not what I was expecting,’ she said, mischievously.

  He smirked. ‘Likewise.’

  ‘That just goes to prove neither of you ever listen to me,’ Mandy complained, although they were both oblivious of her.