You're Gone (Finding Solid Ground)

by Futrell, Leah A.

  You’re Gone

  By: Leah A. Futrell

  Text Copyright ©2014 Leah A. Futrell

  All Rights Reserved

  For the ones we lost, we will never forget you.

  For the loved ones left behind, we will forever cry with you.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Chapter Twenty-six

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-one

  Chapter Thirty-two

  Chapter Thirty-three

  Chapter Thirty-four

  Chapter Thirty-five

  Chapter Thirty-six

  Chapter Thirty-seven

  Chapter Thirty-eight

  Chapter Thirty-nine

  Chapter Forty

  Chapter Forty-one

  Chapter Forty-two

  Chapter Forty-three

  Chapter Forty-four

  Chapter Forty-five

  Chapter Forty-six

  Chapter Forty-seven

  Chapter Forty-eight

  Chapter Forty-nine

  Chapter Fifty

  Chapter Fifty-one

  Chapter Fifty-two

  Chapter One

  Sleep tight. Jamie had told her to sleep tight, and Charleigh tried. She really tried to clear her mind and fall into a restful slumber.

  It was impossible to do so, with everything that was swirling around in her mind. Jamie was back. With a ring and a promise, he’d moved halfway across the country to be with her. But then she’d told him no. No. No, that wasn’t right. Charleigh hadn’t said no, but she hadn’t said yes, either.

  After the last month of feeling that she needed to change because she wasn’t quite sure who she was or what she wanted; then realizing she didn’t really need to change at all, and that she wanted to be with Jamie. It was a simple question, and it deserved a simple answer. God, a simpleton could make up their mind faster than this!

  After tossing and turning for most of the night, Charleigh untangled herself from the bed sheet to go downstairs and find something to put her to sleep. She took a soporific and went out on the back deck for half an hour until the pill took effect.

  But her dreams were filled with salty, ocean water, of it flooding her nostrils and mouth, her throat and lungs. A horrible burning sensation filled Charleigh’s body as she searched for a way to escape the terror. Darkness enveloped her, making it impossible for her to know which way to go.

  There is no way out! Panic struck her like a slap in the face; she knew she was going to drown. She could feel herself being dragged down, down, down by something unseen. Charleigh felt herself slipping away.

  “Jamie! I need you,” Her brain screamed. “Jamie, I love you! I don’t want to die! Please, help me!”

  With that, like admitting those words had been the answer, the key, a light appeared above Charleigh, and the water became an unbelievable blue. The hold that had been pulling her down suddenly set her free. Charleigh struggled to reach the surface and found herself waking up in her bedroom when she did.

  The memory of the dream still haunted Charleigh as she sat up in bed, coughing. It was as if the water had really been trapped in her lungs. She could still feel the stingy salt in her nose and taste it in her mouth. The fear of drowning was still there, as if it was an invisible being, sitting on the bed beside her.

  Tossing back the covers, Charleigh got up and stumbled over to the French doors. She threw them open to let in the cool night breeze. Taking her time, she closed her eyes, drew in several deep breaths. Her chest felt heavy, and Charleigh sank slowly to the floor.

  ***

  The dream was still so vivid as Charleigh knelt in front of her grandmother’s grave. Hours later, she was still shaken by how real it had appeared to be. Because of that, she’d been awake ever since.

  Off in the distance, a rooster was announcing the arrival of a new day. The sun barely peeked over the eastern horizon, but the sky was beginning to show signs of that early-morning glow. The grass was dewy, and it brought back a memory of Granny Eliza and how she used to tell all kinds of fantastic stories. One in particular was about these mischievous, little fairies who would work all through the night to put each individual water droplet in place.

  Her grave was on top of a hill in the middle of the cemetery. Charleigh imagined that Eliza liked where she was buried because she was able to see everything around her. It was on the way to get to where her parents were buried, and Charleigh stopped to say a prayer and placed a few roses from her garden on the ground in front of the headstone.

  Twelve years had passed since her Granny had died, and yet it felt like a lifetime. A lot of things had changed in that time— people had grown up and moved away from Magnolia; others who stayed behind there had died. Her Granddad hadn’t changed at all. Maybe his skin had more wrinkles, his hair was a little grayer, but his personality and the way he looked at the world was still the same.

  He had a pattern of telling Charleigh— John Randall talked mainly because he liked to talk and he liked to hear himself talk, but she’d learned a lot from him and hung on every word— that love, the right kind of love, was an unbreakable bond that connected one heart to another no matter the time or space between them. She supposed that included death. It, Charleigh assumed, was the reason why neither he nor her Dad had ever remarried after the deaths of their wives.

  Love. It was the one and only thing on Charleigh’s mind as she walked toward her parents’ graves. There was a question, a proposal, still hanging in the air from last night, and it needed to be answered. Right away. Sure, Jamie had given her all the time in the world, but something such as that shouldn’t be put off.

  The ring box was in the pocket of her hoodie. She took it out and opened it. A four-carat canary yellow, double rose-cut diamond set in a platinum double band was shimmering inside the small velvetine-lined box. Jamie had taken her a little too seriously when she’d joked about wanting a ‘big honkin’ diamond ring’ when a man proposed to her. That kind of materialistic detail didn’t matter as long as he loved her— of that Charleigh was certain. And she was in love with him, without a doubt in the world.

  That should have made it easy to say yes, but didn’t it take more than love to make a marriage work?

  “Well, what do you guys think I should do?” Charleigh asked, shifting her eyes from the ring to the headstone. “Give me some sort of sign that Jamie is the one.”

  Unfortunately, there was no answer. Charleigh only had a feeling in her gut that told her marrying Jamie was the right thing to do, and she wasn’t going to cast doubt on it. She was just going to go with it; she wasn’t going to look back.

  Nobody was awake in the Matthews house yet when Charleigh came to a stop beside the blue Jeep in the circle drive. She didn’t really expect them to be, since it was Saturday.

  Tr
ying to be as quiet as possible, Charleigh found the spare key under a decorative flower pot and let herself into the house. There was a familiar, tranquil feeling as she tip-toed her way toward the front stairs. Charleigh knew every squeak, every loose floorboard in that house, and she made the trip with ease.

  The bedroom Jamie had used over the last several months was the last one at the end of the hall, closest to the back stairs. It probably would have made more sense for her to have come in through the back, but the key was on the front porch and… a horrible squeaking sound came from underfoot. That one’s new! Charleigh quickly stopped, with eyes squeezed shut, and listened for an indication of stirring. Luckily, there was nothing, and she continued on her way.

  Jamie’s door was closed. With one hand on the doorknob, Charleigh took one last glance down the long hallway. She took a deep breath; she’d made it.

  His hair was mussed. The covers were tangled. Only one hairy leg was actually covered; the other dangled from the bed. One arm covered his eyes, while the other was splayed on his naked chest. He wore only a pair of blue and white striped boxers. Charleigh stopped, leaned her head against the doorjamb, and sighed with contented relief. This is what I’m going to be spending the rest of my life with. And it was enough. It really, really was enough.

  “Hey,” Jamie whispered. His head was raised, eyes slightly open, not quite adjusted to the morning light.

  “Hi,” Charleigh whispered back with a smile. “I didn’t mean to wake you. I just…” She shrugged, held up her hand to display the sparkler on her left ring finger.

  He only nodded, made a gesture for her to come lie down beside him. Charleigh obeyed, slipping into his arms. She fell into a restful sleep as Jamie held her. She dreamed of ocean water for the second time, but this time he was right there with her.

  Chapter Two

  The aroma of food on the grill floated on the breeze. Lawn chairs, picnic tables and people of all ages littered John Randall’s back yard. Of course all of the Randalls were in attendance, and the Matthewses— it was never considered a party without the Matthewses— and almost every other person who resided in Magnolia. There was no need for an invitation to the family’s annual Independence Day celebratory barbecue because everybody was welcome.

  Madie and Lenore sat with Linda, Lilly and Laura-Kathryn, both of Madie’s daughters-in-law, and Denise, watching as Austin— the youngest of Madie and Paul’s children— and the kids popped firecrackers.

  Josh, who wore an apron that read Kiss the Cook, and Chris stood with Will, Chris’s older brother, next to the barbecue pit, talking more about sports than actually paying attention to the food.

  Most of the employees from the clinic and the feed store were in attendance, including Debbie, who brought her husband Leon, and two children, Suzy and Alex. Everett and his wife Theresa showed up with a volleyball net, and Mayor Lana Davenport and her husband Dick were wrapped up in an intense match with several members of Magnolia’s police and fire departments.

  Jared brought his two kids, and his wife Megan, who Charleigh found out was pregnant with their third child. She was so excited to hear the news.

  Dillon, the new vet, showed up alone. Apparently, he hadn’t heard about Charleigh’s upcoming nuptials. He seemed rather bemused when she introduced him to Jamie, and immediately sulked over to join Jared and his family at a nearby picnic table.

  The sound of bottle rockets and Black Cats and Whistlers could be heard from inside, where Charleigh stood, looking out the kitchen’s picture window. She could hear an abundance of delightful squeals and see the children running in all different directions.

  It had started off as a good day. Charleigh had really enjoyed herself. She had laughed and joked around with Jamie and everybody else who entered the back yard, and she’d popped fireworks with her cousins and the rest of the kids.

  That was until Gavin came through the back gate, carrying his daughter in his arms. Oh, God! Why is he here? Charleigh instantly retreated into the kitchen.

  “Why are you hiding?” Caroline asked from where she stood at the kitchen island, preparing a batch of her famous potato salad.

  “I’m not hiding. Why would I be hiding?” Charleigh didn’t bother to turn to look at her favorite aunt.

  After Eliza died, this woman was the one main female influence in Charleigh’s life. She was the one Charleigh had gone to with all of her embarrassing questions about being a girl and going through puberty. They had been inseparable at one time. It was as if they had been connected at the hip, and Charleigh was sad to admit that they’d grown apart as she got older. If anybody ever had an idea what was going on in Charleigh’s mind, it was Caroline.

  “Don’t think I didn’t notice that boy with that little girl in his arms. After all this time, why are you afraid of coming face to face with him?” She added salt and pepper to the mixture before giving it a taste test.

  “I’m not afraid of Gavin anymore, Carrie. I’m not mad at him anymore, either.” You do what ya gotta do to be happy, I guess. Charleigh unconsciously fiddled with the bauble on her ring finger. “I just don’t want to start anything?”

  “And you think he might do or say something to make a spectacle of himself?”

  Charleigh shrugged in response. “I don’t know.” Anything’s possible with Gavin.

  “It’s been months since he did anything.” Caroline came over to take a look out the window for herself. Jamie stood with his Uncle Austin, helping some of the younger kids shoot off Roman candles. Gavin was across the yard with his mother and his grandmother as they enthusiastically gushed over Brea.

  “Yeah, but Jamie and I just got engaged. The announcement was in last night’s paper, Madam Editor. Andrea left him high and dry with a daughter to raise…”

  “So, you think he’s so distraught over losing Andie that he’s going to take his frustrations out on you and your darling,” The older woman voiced her assumption with a chuckle.

  “Who knows? Maybe.”

  “You’re full of yourself, kiddo.” Caroline poked Charleigh in the ribs before going to retrieve the potato salad. She stopped just inside the back door. “So, do something to avoid a scene. The sun’s starting to set. Nice evening for a little enchantment, if I do say so myself.”

  “I guess so,” Charleigh sighed, though she never stopped looking out the window.

  “Just make sure you’re back in time to eat. Josh has quite a show in store as soon as it gets dark.”

  With a glass jar and a blanket tucked underarm, Charleigh trekked across the back yard toward Jamie. He was knelt down next to his cousin Audrey as colored balls shot out of the Roman candle she was holding. It brought a smile to her lips to see him acting so… paternal, almost. Paternal… Charleigh thought. She’d be almost… Well, she’d been about six weeks pregnant at the time of the miscarriage… Charleigh figured she’d be about five months along now.

  Oh, well… There was nothing she could do about it now. As much as Charleigh wished she could go back and change some things, she couldn’t. It was in the past, which Charleigh didn’t want to dwell on any longer than she already had.

  The best thing Charleigh could do was to look toward what the future held. As far as she could see, a big part of that future stood in front of her.

  “Hey,” Charleigh whispered when her eyes met with Jamie’s. His face lit up as he stood up, and she stepped forward to slip an arm around his waist.

  “Charleigh.” Audrey tugged on her skirt. “Did you see all of the pretty colors?”

  She smiled down, winked at the little girl. “I sure did. They were beautiful.”

  Audrey nodded enthusiastically, then ran to join the other children.

  Gently tugging Charleigh closer, Jamie kissed her passionately, as if to put unwanted guests in their places. He ran his hands across her back, causing Charleigh to shiver with delight. Jamie’s hands stopped only when he skimmed across the gap between her breast and arm. With an arched brow, he pulled back to
look at Charleigh.

  “What’s this?”

  “You’ll have to wait and see.” She winked, taking Jamie’s hand. “Come with me if you want to find out.”

  “Where are we going?” Jamie asked as they hurried across the yard.

  “You’ll see.” Charleigh periodically looked over her shoulder to make sure they weren’t being watched or followed. Little children sometimes got curious when they see someone sneaking off. Where they were going and what Charleigh had planned was not meant for anyone’s eyes but hers and Jamie’s.

  They rushed through the barnyard, causing the chickens that were leisurely pecking the ground to scatter. Jamie stopped and tried to get Charleigh to explain where they were going. Her only answer was for him not to worry, he’d see soon enough. They ran down past the corral and through the empty field where her Granddad had once planted cotton.

  At the edge of the acreage was a stand of trees.

  Charleigh stopped just outside of them; she turned to look at Jamie. “Do you trust me?”

  “Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

  “I just wanted to make sure.” She nodded toward the wooded area.

  Jamie looked up over Charleigh’s head. It looked unnaturally dark and haunted. It was like something out of a horror movie— and he said so— where a guy and a girl sneak off— just like they had— to do what everybody watching knows they’re going to do. Girl nervously stops just outside of trees, asking the guy if he thinks it‘s safe. Guy convinces the girl that it’s all okay, saying there’s nothing to be afraid of; he’ll protect her. They get inside, start getting naked— like what he expected they would be doing— when something that resembles Jason or the freak from Halloween chops both their heads off.

  Nope! Absolutely not! That wasn’t going to be them, which Jamie also made a point of. It made Charleigh laugh.

  “I can assure you that there’s nothing haunted or disturbing about this place, Jamie.” With a sober expression, Charleigh added, “I’ve come here since I was a little girl, and nothing’s ever happened to me…”