So Bad It Must Be Good

by Nicole Helm

  “Should we be?” Liam asked, feeling a little prick of guilt over the fact he hadn’t concerned himself with Aiden’s disappearance.

  Dad shook his head as he stared at the house, as though he could see Mom worried inside of it. “Doubt it. He told your mother he’d be gone a few weeks ‘tying up some loose ends,’ but she thought he was acting squirrelly.”

  “Isn’t he always?” Liam muttered before he could stop himself.

  “That’s what I said.” Dad smiled, but the serious look in his eye gave Liam pause.

  “Everything okay?” Liam asked, as casually as he could. Though he knew his dad could be serious when it came to business and what not, his usual outward demeanor was one of jovial good fun. But in the years since his heart attack, serious moments seemed to creep up, and they never failed to make Liam uncomfortable.

  “I hope you know how much your mother and I appreciate you.”

  Liam could only stare, wide eyed and frozen at his father’s uncharacteristic show of gratitude.

  “I . . . Sure. Sure, I do,” Liam said, though considering the shock the statement had produced in him, maybe he hadn’t quite. Or maybe it was nice to hear.

  “You’re the glue, Liam. Always have been. Glue can get overlooked sometimes, because it’s not as flashy as the things it’s holding together, but it’s the most important thing. I know even as adults Aiden gets most of the attention, but that doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate the fact that you’ve stuck it out and worked hard for this family.”

  “You sure everything’s okay?” Liam asked, because he couldn’t help but think this little speech spoke to a larger problem. It might be genuine, but it wasn’t ordinary.

  Dad quirked a smile as he sighed. “Dinah Gallagher mentioned you have a table at that farmers’ market they’ve started over there.”

  Liam had no words for that. He’d never planned on telling his parents about the farmers’ market, and never considered they might find out.

  “If you aren’t happy . . . I don’t want to be the reason—”

  “It’s a hobby, Dad. Honestly.” He stepped toward his father, not knowing how to put into words the complexity of what he felt. Patrick’s was something like his soul, the woodworking something like his heart, and that was shit he could not say to his father. “Patrick & Son means the world to me. The farmers’ market . . . It’s just a thing to do.”

  Dad stared at him, something like pain etched on his face. Pain and age, and Liam hated seeing it there. Hated that insidious knowledge that his parents were aging, that he was aging, that no matter what he fixed or built, he’d never be able to make all this stay the same.

  “Dad, I need you to believe that, because it is the God’s honest truth. Whether you want me to be part of Patrick’s or not, it’s mine.”

  Dad gave a sharp nod and something of a forced smile. “Good. Good. Go see that woman of yours, then, and know we’d like to meet her whenever that’s something you want to do.”

  “Uh. Sure.” It filled him with some feeling he couldn’t identify, the idea of bringing Kayla to dinner with his family. Not even because there could be weirdness with Aiden, but because he had no doubt she’d charm his parents within seconds, and she’d be charmed in return.

  Yeah, he didn’t know what that gut twist was at all. “See you tomorrow, Dad.”

  Dad waved and headed for the door and Liam stood in his parents’ driveway trying to breathe through the uncomfortable feeling that something was wrong.

  But what was there to do about it? The problem with Dad was Liam couldn’t bulldoze him into answers. The more Liam insisted he needed to explain what was wrong, the more Dad would clam up. All Liam could do was step back and wait.

  Fuck, he hated that.

  He shoved a hand through his hair and turned to his truck parked on the street. Well, he had something to distract him, didn’t he? He glanced at his phone. Kayla hadn’t texted him back, but he still had to find a drugstore and buy some condoms, and then get to her place. It’d take long enough.

  So he focused on that, pushing everything his dad had said as far out of his mind as he could. There was nothing to do, no way to fix, not until Dad allowed it. And Liam was shit with things he couldn’t fix so . . .

  Well, shit and damn was about all there was to it. He drove to the drugstore and bought the condoms before driving to Kayla’s apartment complex that didn’t fit her at all. He was distracted and vaguely irritated. With himself. With Dad. He shoved his phone into his glove compartment because hell if he was going to let work interrupt this.

  He was halfway up her staircase before he realized she’d never texted him back. Luckily he remembered the apartment number she’d given him. He paused briefly, but in the end he figured he might as well knock and see if she was home and if not he’d go retrieve his phone.

  When the door swung open to reveal Kayla, fresh faced with her red hair all pulled back into a sloppy ponytail, her mouth curving at the sight of him, every tense, irritable thing inside of him uncoiled.

  “Liam. I just called—”

  Maybe he should have let her finish, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. He swooped down and captured her mouth with his, wrapping his arms around her and walking her into the apartment.

  She sighed into his mouth, winding her arms around his neck, kissing him back almost as desperately as he’d kissed her. He kicked the door behind him closed and dropped the plastic bag of condoms on the floor, because if he had his way they’d be on the ground soon enough.

  “Oh.” She pulled her mouth from his. “Wait.”

  Wait? For what? Hell, he was dying. He kissed down her neck, his hands sliding under her shirt and up the elegant curve of her back.

  She laughed, giving him the lightest, most ineffective push ever. “Liam. Really.”

  “Really what?” he asked before sliding his fingers under the waistband of her pants so he could cup the hot, soft skin of her ass.

  She sighed, relaxing for a second before she gave him another half-hearted push. “No. Really. You have to stop!”

  So he did, though it all but killed him. He was aching, hard, and desperate for her, and she was telling him to stop. He pulled his hands out of her pants and looked down at her pained face.

  She reached up and rubbed her palm against his bearded jaw with a wistful sigh. His chest tightened hard, and he didn’t know what that was either. He was tired of this “not understanding his own feelings” shit, and the only way to fix that was to talk her into bed, he was pretty sure.

  “I have company coming.”

  Or not. “Company?”

  “I forgot all about it this morning. I guess I was distracted, but—”

  “Oh.” He untangled himself from her, feeling like a fucking moron. Company. She had mysterious company and he’d thought . . . Well, he’d been a dipshit to think.

  “It’s just—” A knock interrupted whatever Kayla’s explanation was going to be, and maybe that was for the best.

  “I’m sorry I forgot, but . . .” She trailed off lamely, walking toward the door.

  “Want me to hide or something?” Because he didn’t know what else company might mean other than another date. He supposed it could be friends, but why would she call it company if it was just a group of friends?

  Hell, it could be Aiden for all he knew. What an awful thought.

  She cocked her head. “You don’t need to hide.”

  She opened the door and Liam could only stare at the woman on the other side of it. Polished and pretty, he’d recognize Dinah Gallagher anywhere.

  Clearly, she recognized him as well. Her eyes widened at the sight of him before returning to Kayla.

  “I . . . can come back?” Dinah offered with an officious businesswoman-looking smile.

  “No. No, Liam was just . . .” Kayla looked back at him, trailing off with her mouth still open.

  “Leaving,” he finished for her. “The sink’s all fixed, Ms. Gallagher.”

&
nbsp; Kayla’s eyebrows drew together as he walked past her and Dinah, but Liam just kept walking. Clearly he’d screwed everything up, so now he was fixing it.

  She didn’t want Dinah to think anything was going on, so it wasn’t. There was no reason that should bother him. No reason his teeth should be gritted together or his stomach should still have that same sick feeling it had had when he’d imagined Aiden on the other side of that door.

  It was fine. Good even.

  “Liam?”

  She stood at the top of the stairs he’d walked halfway down and he turned to face her, though he was tempted to just keep walking. Her face was bathed in the odd orange glow of the apartment exterior lights. She looked confused, and maybe a little hurt.

  Surely he was reading into things.

  She walked down so that she was only a step above him. She looked at him as if she expected him to say something, but he didn’t know what she wanted from him.

  Finally she leaned down and brushed a kiss across his mouth. “Tomorrow?”

  And she looked genuinely worried, as though he’d reject her. Which was the craziest damn thing. Surely she didn’t think that was possible. Not when she was so sweet and gorgeous and he was a cranky ass.

  “Tomorrow,” he repeated with a nod. This whole mix-up of a night didn’t matter. He wouldn’t let it.

  Her smile was quick and beautiful and no matter that he felt a little. . . weird about her wanting to keep things from her family, he supposed it was best for both of them. God knew he had to keep it from his until he was sure Aiden had moved on from his little plan.

  It was for the best really. Besides, maybe his mood would best be assuaged in his workshop rather than by having sex with Kayla.

  He rolled his eyes at himself. In what fucking lifetime?

  Chapter Ten

  Kayla moved slowly back into her apartment. She didn’t have any earthly idea what had just happened. Liam had been . . .

  Well, first he’d been super-hot. No one had ever kissed her the minute her door was opened as if they had been starved for her all day.

  Then, he’d lied to Dinah. Easily. As though people shouldn’t know they were . . . doing whatever it was they were doing. Kayla stepped back into her apartment trying to fix a smile on to her face, and failing miserably.

  “What on God’s green earth is Liam Patrick doing in your apartment?” Dinah demanded, all but pouncing on her. “I want every detail. Especially if they’re dirty.”

  Kayla’s cheeks heated and she was probably bright red at this point, which meant lying was pointless. She’d never been any good at lying to Dinah. It was half of why she’d had to separate herself from Dinah in the grand claiming of her life.

  “I don’t buy the sink thing for a second, so you might as well spill,” Dinah said, crossing her arms over her chest and grinning.

  “Um.” Kayla blew out a breath and marched into the kitchen. “I need wine for this conversation.”

  “Ooh. Exciting.” Dinah followed her into the little postage stamp of a kitchen. “You . . . haven’t done much around your place.”

  “No.” Kayla grabbed one of the bottles of wine Dinah had set on the counter next to her corkscrew. She went to work opening the bottle without bothering to elaborate.

  “Is there a safe topic here?” Dinah asked softly.

  Kayla closed her eyes and sighed. Maybe there wasn’t. Maybe nothing was safe or easy, and maybe she had to deal with it.

  “I haven’t done anything with this place because I hate it.”

  “Kay—”

  She didn’t want Dinah’s sympathy, or whatever offer of help she was likely to give, so Kayla bulldozed on. “And I don’t know exactly what’s going on with Liam.” She poured herself a very generous glass of wine before handing the bottle and an empty glass to Dinah. Maybe an hour ago she would have had a more certain answer, but the last ten minutes with Liam had made everything . . . confusing.

  “But it’s dirty, right? That was a dirty vibe.”

  Kayla laughed. No matter how confused she felt about it, Dinah had a way of zeroing in on the easy thing. Always giving Kayla the simple way out. Was that what she wanted to be? The fragile girl who needed a way out?

  “I like him a lot,” Kayla said, her tone maybe too serious. Maybe everything was too serious, but Liam wasn’t exactly a joke. She didn’t know what he was, but he wasn’t that.

  “Okay,” Dinah said carefully.

  “And there has been some dirty stuff.”

  Dinah let out a little whoop and crossed over and took Kayla by the shoulders. “Liam Patrick. Liam Patrick.”

  “Why do you keep saying his full name?” Kayla returned, laughing even harder as Dinah clapped her hands on Kayla’s cheeks.

  “I don’t know. It’s just Liam Patrick. We know him. He’s our handyman. And, oh God, I’ll never be able to look him in the eye again without wondering just how handy.”

  Kayla laughed even as she blushed all over again, and it was nice to laugh with Dinah, her cousin, her best friend. It was nice to be a little silly. But... “He’s Gallagher’s handyman, not ours.”

  Dinah’s hands slipped off Kayla’s face and she took a step back. “Right. Old habits.” She smiled thinly.

  Which wasn’t what Kayla wanted either. She wanted to be brave, but she didn’t want to lose . . . She wanted them to be friends, not Gallaghers. “He’s very, very good with his hands,” Kayla managed deadpan. “And his mouth.”

  Dinah all but choked on the gulp of wine she’d taken, but once she was done sputtering, she grinned. Dinah grabbed Kayla’s free hand and led her out to the living room. They both settled in with their glasses of wine, a pan of brownies already on the table. Kayla had put two spoons next to the pan as was their old tradition.

  “You have to tell me,” Dinah said, leaning toward Kayla with a very serious expression on her face. “What size . . . tool are we talking about here?”

  “Dinah!”

  “If I don’t know, every time I see him I’ll wonder, and that’s just not good for business.”

  “If we talk about Liam’s tool, I’m going to start asking questions about Carter’s . . .” Kayla struggled to come up with a farming-related term. “Cucumber!”

  Dinah picked up a spoon, holding the wineglass regally in the other hand. She scooped out a bite of brownie and popped it into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully. “Carter’s cucumber is very healthy. In fact, it might be the healthiest cucumber I’ve ever had.”

  Kayla burst into a fit of giggles and Dinah joined. This was nice. This was what she missed. Her friend over her coworker. Her cousin over her sharer-of-business-related interests.

  “So, Liam’s tool. Don’t think you’ll distract me with talk of my boyfriend’s impressive cucumber.”

  “Impressive is a good word for it,” Kayla managed, though she wanted to giggle some more. “Very, very impressive.”

  Dinah leaned back against the cushion and sighed dreamily as she sipped her wine. “A good man is hard to find. A good man who is also ‘impressive’ is quite the find. But you said you don’t know what’s going on.”

  Kayla frowned at her wine, then leaned over and took a big scoop of brownie. “I don’t know why he lied. To you. About fixing a sink.”

  “Well, you know, I think he might have come here to unclog your drain.”

  Kayla rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help a smile. “There are too many metaphors going on. If a cucumber ends up in a drain, I think we’re going to have problems.”

  Dinah opened her mouth, but then she shook her head and shoved brownie into it instead of saying anything.

  Kayla frowned. “What?”

  “Nothing.”

  “What were you going to say?”

  Dinah sighed. “I was going to give you advice, and then I reminded myself you don’t need it. You’re a grownup, and I know half the reason you shut me out is because I didn’t always treat you like one.”

  “No, it was because
Gallagher’s—” But at Dinah’s raised eyebrow, Kayla realized Dinah had a point. She had framed it about needing space from Gallagher’s, and Dinah’s dedication to the family business meant that was her too, but it had been more than just business.

  “Kay, I love you—you—not because of Gallagher’s or because I used to boss you around and you’d listen, but because you’re smart and you’re kind and you’ve always known how to make me laugh, or very gently point out when I’ve gone a little off the deep end.” Dinah leaned forward, eyes glistening with tears Kayla knew she wouldn’t shed. “Things have changed for me since Carter. I’m not that same bulldozer. I don’t want to be.”

  “Because of Carter?”

  Dinah shrugged. “Kind of. I know I used to talk a big game about never letting a man change me or always feeling complete and happy without a boyfriend, and it’s not like I’ve changed my mind on that, but . . . Love, well, it shifts your priorities, I guess. It makes you see things about yourself, good and bad, and I was in a kind of crappy place before Carter, and you know what? I’m not going to be ashamed to admit that meeting and falling in love with a really good guy who cares about me and wants to take care of me changed me a little bit. Fixed some things that were broken. Not all the things, sure, but some. Love is powerful. Even if that sounds lame, I don’t care. I believe it. I lived it. I am living in that power and some days I want to smack that man so hard he sees stars, but I never, ever have regretted standing up to Grandmother and losing out on the director position. Even when he drives me to the brink of insanity, I don’t want to be anywhere else.”

  Kayla wasn’t quite sure what to do with that impassioned speech. It all made her vaguely uncomfortable. Love and good guys and all sorts of complicated things she wasn’t all that certain she was strong enough for.

  Besides, shouldn’t she be happy with herself first? Shouldn’t she know who she was without a shadow of a doubt before she started letting some guy change her? Dinah could say all that stuff because she’d always been strong. Kayla was still learning.

  Not that Liam was . . . He was a good guy, and maybe he had taken care of her, but that’s what he did. It had been a few hours over a few nights strung together. Dinah’s speech shouldn’t hit some weird place inside of her.