by Knight, Amie
I sat up again, this time with both eyes open, and it was a huge mistake because damn, Lukas looked marvelous in the morning. I wanted to rub my face all over his stubbly one. I wanted to run my hands through that thick mass of brown locks. I wanted to lick his full bottom lip.
Those lips gave me a closed mouth smile that said they knew exactly what I was thinking. And that snapped me right out of my lust filled fog.
“We didn’t, ya know, do anything last night? Right?” I croaked out. Surely, I’d remember if I had got it on with my high school crush. But I didn’t remember anything past my fifth beer. I wasn’t much of a drinker and I probably should have paced myself, but I was in a state of duress.
His smile grew. “Like what?”
Oh, he was playing that game. I rolled my eyes. “You know what. It. That’s what.”
He palmed my ass hard and pressed down so I could feel him right there between my legs, hard and ready.
I squeaked and he laughed low. “It? Come on, Red. You can say it. Can’t you?” He was teasing me, but with his hands palming my ass and his cock right there, it was too distracting for me to care.
He pushed up against me and it brushed right where I needed it and I couldn’t help the small moan that passed my lips.
“Are you asking me if I brought you home, stripped you down”—he paused, clearing his throat for dramatic effect because he squeezed my ass while he did it—“with my teeth and then buried my face and then my cock in your pretty pussy?”
A shiver raced through me that I couldn’t contain and he gave another soft laugh when he felt it as well.
I was flushed and hot all over at his dirty words. But more than anything at that moment, I wanted him to flip me over and have his dirty, wicked way with me. I was done. I had not one fuck left. I’d suffer the consequences later.
But first I had to know if I’d missed anything because that would have been a shame. I lifted my head and used my arms to brace myself against his chest so I could get a real good look at him when he answered me. “Well, did you?”
He rolled us until he was over me and I was gloriously under him.
He ran his nose down the length of mine and I was so tempted to lean up. To give him my lips, my mouth, my freaking everything.
“Baby, when I make love to you, you’re gonna know it. You’re gonna remember it. And you’re sure as hell gonna feel it the next day.”
I stared up at him, his eyes blazing down at mine enough to burn down the whole town of Summerville. So, we hadn’t done anything. I breathed a sigh of relief.
And just like that he was gone, his heat and body only a memory. He settled in beside me and I got a marvelous view of his black boxer briefs. We may not have done anything, but he sure didn’t have a problem stripping down and getting into bed with me. I threw my hands up over my head into the mattress. Why didn’t he take me? He’d wanted me. I at least remembered that from last night right outside the bathroom. Hell, just minutes ago I’d felt how much he wanted me right between my legs. Why was he stopping when I was finally giving in?
“So what did happen last night?”
His eyes were full of laughter. “I brought your drunk ass home and tucked you into bed. I was going to leave you, but you kept saying you felt sick and I didn’t want to leave you alone.”
I looked down at my cami and panties. “But did you undress me?”
He grinned wickedly. “Oh, no, baby. You did that all on your own.”
I groaned in embarrassment and then I sat up in realization. Oh, no. “But where is Ella?”
“She stayed the night with Allison.”
Breathing a sigh of relief, I lay back down. “Oh, good. Thanks for staying.” And taking your shirt off, I thought to myself.
“Don’t thank me yet. You never know what I’ll get home to. I may be calling you for a major cleanup.”
I let out a small giggle when I thought of the last mess we’d cleaned up when Ella had hung out with Allison for too long.
“We need to talk.”
Oh, no, not this again. This was bad news. We should have sex instead. I wanted to be spontaneous and crazy and let the man have me so tomorrow I could blame the whole thing on bad judgment and hormones. If we talked first, I couldn’t do that.
“That’s a terrible idea,” I said to the ceiling.
“Why is it a terrible idea?”
I looked over at him and gave him my sexiest look. “Because we could be doing other things.”
He threw his head back and laughed. Well, then. Clearly my sexiest look wasn’t all that sexy.
“You’re too fucking cute for your own good.”
I batted my eyelashes. “Then why are you over there and I’m over here?”
“Because I can’t focus enough to talk with you on me or under me.”
I leaned up on one elbow so I could admire his broad chest, strong shoulders, and six pack. “Who cares about focus and talking? That was so last year, Luk.”
He smiled big, all his teeth on display, and damn if he wasn’t the most handsome man I’d ever seen. And he was in my bed. And he wanted to talk. I threw myself back dramatically against the mattress again.
He moved in closer to me. Until his torso was pressed to my side, his elbow to the bed, his face over mine. He looked devastatingly serious.
“The other night at my house. I lied.”
I raised an eyebrow. “About what?”
“I don’t want to be just friends. I’ve never wanted to be just friends with you, Red. Not a single day since I’ve known you.”
I swallowed hard. My throat and eyes burned.
He looked away from me and let out a long sigh. “I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
I turned my head so I didn’t have to look at him anymore. I couldn’t listen to this. I couldn’t hear him go on about how he shouldn’t have kissed me. About how he regretted. It would gut me because that kiss had been special to me even if had hurt me down the road. I still thought about that kiss. My first kiss. From my first love.
His big hand cradled the side of my face sweetly, right at my jaw. “Look at me, Scarlett.”
“I don’t wanna,” I mumbled, my throat feeling tight.
Using his hand, he gently urged my face back to his until our eyes met. “Hear me when I say this. I shouldn’t have kissed you, but I couldn’t help it. I’d been thinking about it for weeks. How you’d feel. How you’d taste. I was selfish. It wasn’t fair to you.”
I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t have to look at him anymore. It was too much. “It doesn’t matter, Luk. It was a long time ago,” I said, my eyes closed, my embarrassment palatable.
“It does matter. Because I want you to know why I kissed you, but I also want you to know why I didn’t ask you to wait on me. Why I didn’t beg you to be my girlfriend. Because God knows I wanted to. I wanted it more than I wanted anything and that was a hell of a lot back then when all I wanted was to play football so I could make my dead father proud.”
My eyes snapped open and his were liquid heat down on mine. They burned me up as they consumed me whole. Instantly, I was lost in those sweet baby browns that had stolen my heart all those years ago. It was glorious. It was awful.
My hand came up of its own accord, my palm meeting his square jaw and the rough stubble of his chin. “It’s okay, Luk. I get it.”
“Do you? Because I want you to understand. What I did that night on your front porch? I did for you.” He let out a sardonic laugh. “Not the kiss. The kiss was for me. But when I told you goodbye? That was for you.”
I shook my head slowly. I would’ve waited on him. I would’ve visited him. We could have made it work.
“No, baby. You deserved more. You were just a kid. I was already a man. You deserved first dates, proms, dances, and dates, and you wouldn’t have had any of that with me being miles and miles away but belonging to me. I couldn’t take that from you.”
I stared at him, shocked. He meant it. He’d let me have m
y teen years and I had. Wow. I rubbed my thumb across his prickly face, hating and adoring him all at once. Because I wasn’t so sure I wouldn’t have traded prom and first dates for a night here or there with him. I probably would have and I probably wouldn’t have regretted it a bit.
He leaned in and rested his forehead to mine. “But make no mistake. I’m home now. And fate would have it that you’re here, too. And I’m done with this friend bullshit, Red. I’m done pretending I don’t want you. I’m done making excuses to see you. And I sure don’t give a shit that you’re Ella’s teacher. I want you and I’m done fucking around.”
My hungover brain buzzed with awareness. He wanted me? Like for a booty call? Or for more? But before I could ask him, he pressed a long kiss to my forehead and got out of the bed.
I watched in a daze as he slipped on his jeans and T-shirt from last night. He turned to my mirror and ran his hands through his hair, pushing it into place. The man had no right looking so good right out of bed.
He stood at the foot of my bed and looked down at me and all I could do was lie there like an imbecile. He’d rocked my world. I was speechless. I had no clue what to say. What to do.
“I can see you need some time to take all of this in. And I’m going to give it to you. But know this, Scarlett. I want those lips. And I’ll have them. If it’s the last fucking thing I do.”
He turned and marched out of the room like a man on a mission and I guess he was. Mission Lips according to him. He wanted my lips and I wanted his heart. Looked like we were at an impasse.
It was Tuesday, my day off. And usually I would sleep a little late and make myself a big breakfast, but as soon as I got Ella on the bus to school, I came to the gym at the stadium to work out some of my frustration. And it had absolutely nothing to do with Scarlett. Scarlett, who hadn’t bothered to call me back the countless times I’d texted and called. She was ghosting the hell out of me again. I didn’t expect it this time. I’d laid it all out there. I’d put myself out there and now she was acting like I didn’t exist. We had a past. Our present was rocky as hell at best. But I was keeping my head in the game and my eye on the prize—our future.
So I’d decided to get myself to the gym and work my ass off, so I didn’t think about her or have the urge to call her again. It wasn’t working.
I was headed back into the locker room after two long hours when I heard someone talking. I stepped up to my locker, telling myself it was none of my damn business.
I checked my phone to make sure I hadn’t missed any calls and saw that good ole Aunt Merline was still stalking my ass hard. Jesus, she was getting on my damn nerves. I wasn’t going to give her Ella. A person wasn’t just something you could give away. Didn’t she get that?
I was heading to the shower when I heard a voice again. “I know, baby. I’m sorry. I’m gonna try to get home soon.”
I peeked around the corner and saw Trevon on the phone. Knowing this phone call was none of my business, I kept on to the showers and washed the grime of my workout away. I was drying off when I heard him again.
“What did they say?” He paused, listening. “What kind of testing? How can they test him if he’s nonverbal?” He stopped again before continuing. “I know, honey. I know you’re doing the best you can, but I’m worried about our baby. What are we going to do if something is wrong?”
I tried not to eavesdrop anymore than I already had, and by the time I’d finished drying off and wrapped my towel around my waist and headed back to my locker he was off the phone.
He looked over at me across the room and gave me a cold head nod. Hell, at least I was getting that now. The team and I were getting along a bit better and with our first game coming up, I was thankful they at least weren’t kicking my ass that much on the field anymore. They weren’t taking it easy on me by any means, but they’d at least stopped trying to kill me.
I’d just finished slipping on my clothes when I heard a loud bang and a “Fuck.”
I looked over at Trevon, knowing the right thing to do, but worried I was overstepping. Still, I walked over to his side of the room. “You all right, man?”
His head darted my way and I realized I’d startled him. “I thought you were gone.”
“Not yet.”
He nodded. “Yeah, I’m good. Just missing home.” I could tell he wanted the conversation to end there, but my momma never called me a quitter, so I kept going.
“Yeah, where you from?”
“Georgia,” he said, stuffing shit into his locker distractedly.
“Not too far. Maybe you can take a trip home before the season really starts.”
“Yeah,” he clipped out, grabbing his bag and closing his locker. “Look, man, I gotta head—”
“I heard you on the phone,” I interrupted because I didn’t want to lose him. I felt like there was something he needed to hear.
He pulled at the braids on the top of his head and stared at the floor before finally saying. “It’s my baby. He’s three. He’s not talking.”
I nodded and sat on the bench nearby. “And what are the doctors saying?”
He dropped his bag to the floor and sat beside me. “It’s not good. They are doing testing and throwing around words like autism and on the spectrum. I don’t even know what that shit means, man.”
“Yeah. It’s a lot to take in. And I bet you’re worried as shit and wanna go home.”
He nodded. “Every fucking day, but I have a family to take care of and a team counting on me. I have to be here.”
Leaning back, I reached into my pocket and grabbed my phone. “I get it, Childs. I really do.” I opened my photos on my phone and scrolled until I found a picture of me and Ella. A selfie I’d taken of us on the couch at home, our faces squeezed together, her grin wide.
I pushed the phone out in front of Trevon. “This is my baby sister. She has Down syndrome. She’s the whole reason I moved home.”
He gave me a playful smile. “You mean you didn’t come all the way home to play ball with my ass?”
I shook my head and laughed. “Not even a little bit. Playing ball with your cocky ass was just a bonus.”
He laughed, too. “What about your parents?”
It still hurt to say it. “My dad passed away when I was a kid and my mom passed away a few months ago. So now, I have Ella.”
“Ella. That’s a cute name.”
“Yep,” I said, tucking my phone back in my jeans pocket. “She’s a cute kid. She’s smart and she’s funny and she’s loving and kind. I wouldn’t change a hair on her head.”
“No?” he asked, his face serious.
“No. You see, Ella’s different, but that doesn’t make her bad or weird. My mom just made sure she always had the resources she needed to get as far as she could and now she’s pretty independent and awesome. I love her just the way she is.”
I nudged my shoulder against his. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, if something is going on with your baby boy, you and your girl will handle it and you’ll love him just the way he is, and he will love you, too. That won’t change. Ever. And if he does have autism, it doesn’t make him any less perfect or wonderful. You get me?”
His eyes full of emotion staring back at mine, he said quietly, “I get you, Lucy.”
Lucy. He was coming around. The only person who’d called me that on the team was Mason. It felt good. I stood up, feeling like I’d accomplished what I wanted.
“Thanks for the talk, man.” He pushed his hand out and we did some kind of bro handshake that I was totally winging because I didn’t have too many friends.
“Anytime.” I went back to my locker and grabbed my bag.
I was walking out of the room when I heard him yell, “You’re getting good at standing up, Lucy. Now, we just gotta get you throwing the ball.”
I grinned, but didn’t turn around as I lifted my hand high in the air and threw up my middle finger. “What can I say? I’m a slow learner, but I’m getting there,” I joked.
>
His laughter followed me out of the locker room.
My workout didn’t do shit for my mood. So, I went to the grocery store and picked up something good to make Ella and me for dinner and by the time I got home, Ella was already there and had sent me the thumbs-up.
Imagine my surprise when I pulled up to the house and saw Mason’s truck in the driveway. My guess he was there to mooch another meal off of me and my sister and still I smiled. I liked having Mason around. He was slowly becoming another member of the family.
I walked into the house to find Mason and Ella parked on the couch together, a bowl of popcorn in between them watching old reruns of General Hospital.
“Hey, Ellie Bellie!”
She didn’t spare me a glance with Chase on the screen, but she did shout back, “Hey, Lulu!”
I juggled the groceries in my hands all the way to the counter. “Don’t worry, I got it,” I called out to them.
Mason looked at me as he shoved a fist of popcorn in his mouth and then went back to watching TV. Asshole.
“You don’t have anything better to do than hang out with us?” Giving him shit was becoming my favorite pastime.
He shrugged. “Not really,” he said, finally getting up off the couch and joining me in the kitchen. He muscled in and started looking through the bags. “What are we having?”
“Steak, potatoes, and asparagus.”
“Mmm. Sounds good. I’ll do the potatoes.” He grabbed them out of the bag.
I quirked an eyebrow at him. “You cook?”
“Yeah, smartass. My mom taught me how.”
“Where’s your mom now?” I asked, putting away the groceries.
“Passed.”
“Dad?”
He started to peel the potatoes. “Gone, too.”
“Siblings?” Shit, this was getting sad. I was wishing I’d kept my mouth shut.
“One shitty ass drug addict brother I haven’t seen in years.”
Lord, I was just digging myself deeper, but now that I was there I might as well find out all the dirt. “Younger or older?”