by E. R. Wade
I take a few deep breaths and when I’m certain that my legs can support me, I make my way back to the restroom to reapply my lipstick before going back to the table. By the time I get there, Julian is gone.
SEVEN
Sofia
What do you wear when a man who is not only your boss but the most handsome man you’ve ever seen is coming over to your apartment for sex?
That’s the question that’s been going through my mind for the past ten minutes I’ve spent standing and staring at the contents of my closet. Nothing seems suitable. Do I wear a dress that gives him easy access or should I wear yoga pants? Maybe denim shorts . . . That’s somewhere in between, right?
I can’t believe I’m spending so much time trying to decide what to wear. And in what world do denim shorts fall between dresses and yoga pants? Will what I wear really matter? Isn’t the plan to discard our clothes almost immediately he gets here? He’s just here for sex, so whatever I choose can’t be that important.
With that thought I grab my favorite pair of yoga pants and a pale yellow T-shirt, and pull them on. I slick pale gloss on my lips and mascara on my lashes. That’s as much makeup as I’m going to use today. My hair is easy to manage and style being naturally wavy and thick but thankfully not too thick. I brush it gently and leave it to fall loose around my shoulders and back.
I’m feeling equal parts excited and nervous, and I’ve been trying to distract myself unsuccessfully all day with mindless chores. This is unfamiliar territory for me. I’ve only ever had sex with Cam, and I considered our sex life satisfactory. I never felt like I needed or wanted more. But I also never came anywhere close to how Julian makes me feel. I’ve never felt this attracted to anyone. It’s like my need for him is essential and inherent, and I don’t have a choice. There’s some magnetic force pulling me to him.
My buzzer goes off right at seven. I take a deep breath, and press the button to confirm he’s the one before letting him in. I open the door and stare at the sexy man standing right in front of me. I’ve never seen him dressed casually, and damn if I’m not already excited just looking at him. I grip the door handle tighter. He’s wearing dark jeans and a light gray T-shirt that emphasizes his chest and broad shoulders. His gaze moves over me leisurely, taking me in. His eyes linger on my lips, before finally meeting my eyes. The heat in his eyes almost makes my knees buckle. I don’t dare let go of the door.
“Sofia,” he murmurs sexily. That voice. I can’t wait to hear it when he’s deep inside me. “You look lovely.”
I know I should say something, at least a ‘thank you’ for the compliment but somehow the words don’t make it out of my mouth.
“May I come in?”
The simple question jolts me out of the desire-filled haze he inadvertently put my mind in. I can’t believe I’ve been standing in my doorway ogling him. Could I be any more obvious? What happened to playing it cool? I’m thoroughly embarrassed.
“Sorry. Please come in,” I say hastily, stepping aside to let him through and ducking my head to hide my flaming cheeks.
He crosses the threshold and enters into my apartment.
“Nice place,” he says looking appreciatively around my fairly small-sized living room and open-plan kitchen.
No more acting like a teenager around him. “Thank you,” I respond politely. “Would you like anything to drink?”
“No, thanks.”
He’s standing in the middle of the living room, with his entire focus now on me. I can’t help but look at him. It feels surreal that he’s in my apartment, and we’re a few minutes away from having sex.
Julian lowers his tall, beautiful body onto the loveseat. Now, I’m wondering if I should sit beside him or on the accent chair on the left.
He makes the decision for me.
“Why don't you sit down beside me?”
“Sure,” I mumble partly to myself. It’s a good thing I wasn’t planning to seduce him, because from the way I’m acting it would be an unqualified disaster. No doubt about it.
As soon as I take the seat beside him, he closes the gap between us. He kisses me lightly on my lips, and draws back to look at me. Touching my cheek gently with his fingers, he asks, “Nervous?”
“A little,” I admit.
“Don’t be. I’ll take care of you.” I’m relieved that he isn’t trying to offer me a way out. Not that I would have taken it. At least this way makes me feel like he wants me too and is a very willing participant.
It looks like he has given up fighting whatever this is that’s happening between us, and has accepted its inevitability. I’m glad about that. I’m glad that I am not the only one feeling this potent attraction that has been simmering between us since the day we met.
“Just relax for me.” He lowers his mouth back to mine. His lips feel so good. The kiss starts off soft and light, but quickly turns urgent and passionate. Julian deepens the kiss, demanding more from me. His tongue slides into my mouth and I moan in response to the myriad of sensations he's bringing out in me. I press my body closer to his and my hands pull at his T-shirt. I want to take it off. I need to touch his skin.
“Where’s your bedroom?” he murmurs against my lips.
“Through the passage on the left,” I answer breathlessly.
He stands, pulling me up with him. He doesn’t stop kissing me as we make our way to my bedroom through the small passage. There’s a soft yellow glow in the room from the table lamp I left on earlier.
“I need to see you,” he says huskily and takes a step back. “Let me take this off.” His hands are on my T-shirt, ready to pull it off. Without a moment’s hesitation, I raise my arms. My yoga pants come off next.
I’m standing in front of him wearing white lace panties and a matching bra.
His eyes travel down the length of me. “Fuck . . . You are so beautiful,” he breathes hoarsely. His gaze is hot and intense. He has the look of a man ready to fuck my brains out.
The throbbing between my thighs intensifies. Thankfully, my panties are coming off soon. They are absolutely wet. My breasts are straining against the lacy cups of my bra yearning for his touch.
His fingers lightly stroke my skin, sending jolts of pleasure everywhere he touches. His eyes trail his fingers. It’s like he’s trying to acquaint himself with every inch of my body. I love that he’s so absorbed in it. I reach out a hand and touch his gorgeous blond hair – it feels luxuriously silky and soft – and then I run my fingers through it.
I impatiently pull at his shirt, and he immediately takes it off. Smooth tanned skin, well-toned muscles and a sizzling six-pack. Utter perfection. I place my hands on his sculpted chest and caress his amazingly smooth skin. I’ve dreamt of his body more times than I can count. I press my lips to his chest. Drawing back slightly, I flick my tongue over his nipple and I feel him shudder which makes me do it again and again.
I feel his heart beating fast. There’s no hiding it – he is affected by me. I look up to see him watching me with hunger burning in his eyes, and I can’t look away. He lowers his head and kisses my lips, my mouth opening to his. He unclasps my bra, freeing my aching breasts, and doesn’t stop kissing me even when he slides it off. One hand kneads my breast and his other hand strokes my thigh, slowly moving inwards and stops when his fingers touch my lace-covered wetness. I cling to his shoulders, my legs almost giving way.
“You’re wet,” he says unsteadily. He sounds far from his usual controlled self, like he’s hanging on to his control by a thin thread.
Holding my gaze, he moves the crotch aside and slowly pushes a finger inside me. I moan softly and my body trembles with desire, and he immediately pulls his finger out.
The rest of our clothes quickly come off.
His erection is thick, long, hard and perfect. Despite seeing how big he is, I don’t feel any apprehension. What I’m feeling right now is unbridled desire and a strong need to be filled by him. I’m desperate to be under him. Any second now, and I’m going to start be
gging.
“Bed,” he orders throatily.
I back away from him, and climb onto the bed. Julian grabs a condom from the pocket of his jeans, and comes to join me. Without a word, he parts my legs and kneels between them, and then rips open the foil pack. He rolls on the condom and slowly enters inside me. I let out a moan at the strong sensations crashing over me as he fills me up. He pushes in until every inch of him is buried deep inside me, stretching me. He stays still for a couple of seconds, letting me get used to him and feeling me out. His face is next to mine and I hear his shallow breathing. He rolls his hips and then pulls the length of his cock out of me leaving the tip in the opening of my wet core, and then in one long, deep thrust he drives back into me. I almost scream with pleasure.
The walls of my sex cling to him, and with a few thrusts I feel my orgasm building. Moaning helplessly, I grip his shoulders and I can feel my nails biting into his skin. Waves of pleasure flow through me. My body is so responsive to his every move. Every cell in my body is buzzing with electricity. I’m screaming his name as I shatter all around him.
He holds himself rigid and after my orgasm ebbs away, he pulls out of me. When I can breathe easier, I stroke my fingers on his back wondering if I should ask him if something is wrong. But then he lifts my hips up and thrusts into me hard, and starts fucking me. He fucks me like I have never been fucked. He pumps into me so hard and he goes deep into parts of me I didn’t know existed, and I love it. I’ve never felt anything like it. It’s the best feeling I’ve ever had. I love every thrust, every grunt from his lips and the firmness of his body on mine.
I feel so full and possessed by him, and I’m moaning his name loudly over and over. He’s grunting above me, and though he’s keeping his face averted, the sounds he’s making sends me over the edge into another explosive orgasm. With a loud guttural groan, his release joins mine.
Best. Sex. Ever.
He’s panting on top of me, and after a few seconds, he pulls out of me gently and rolls on his back. From the corner of my eye, I see him roll off the condom, tie it up and drop it on the floor.
Wow! I didn’t know sex could feel this great. It was amazing . . . earth-shattering. I wonder if he felt it too. We’re lying down next to each other trying to get our breaths back, but no parts of our bodies are touching. I really want to touch him. I didn’t miss the fact that he didn’t look at me while we were having sex. I wish he would hold me but I get the feeling that if I try to move my body closer to his, he’ll be out of my apartment before I can blink.
But I can’t resist. I touch him lightly with a finger and he goes absolutely still so I withdraw my touch.
“I just wanted to check if you’re okay,” I murmur softly, hoping he’ll give me a clue to how he’s feeling.
“Yeah, I’m good . . . really good,” he says. His voice has a soft quality to it and I’m not sure why. He sits up and swings his legs from the bed. “I’ve got to go.”
I don’t know if he expects me to protest but I have no intention of doing that since he’s made it clear that there’ll be nothing but sex between us. And after this incredible experience, I want him back in my bed. I want more sex with him so I’m not going to chase him away with any unnecessary protests.
He grabs the discarded condom from the floor and heads to the bathroom. I listen to the sound of running water. Moments later, he walks back into the bedroom completely naked. His body is impressive. I’m turned on from just looking at him. I still want him so much, but it’s clear he’s not willing to stick around. He isn’t even looking at me.
“Am I allowed to ask if there’ll be a next time? Do we make plans in advance or do we just call each other when we want to?”
He pulls on his clothes without answering my questions but pauses at the door. “I’ll call you,” he says, before walking out, not bothering to spare me a glance.
“Okay,” I whisper to the empty room.
EIGHT
Sofia
It’s another sunny Saturday morning, and I’m thinking of going to the Museum of Modern Art. I haven’t been there since I was a teenager. There’s a contemporary art exhibition I’d like to see. The museum is certain to be crowded, but if I buy a ticket online and leave home in an hour I may be able to avoid the rush.
My phone beeps alerting me that I have a text message. It’s Julian.
Him: Can I see you tonight?
Straight to the point. No ‘How are you?’ or ‘I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you at work for the last week’. Well, what did I expect? To be fair, he warned me that he has nothing to offer me except sex and wasn’t interested in anything more. I went along with it so I can’t complain, but I’m pissed and I admit, a little disappointed. I had hoped that he’d at least be a little friendlier than usual.
I saw him – briefly – a grand total of three times at work this past week. He was his usual self – impassive and polite. If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought he was deliberately avoiding me.
It probably isn’t a good idea to let him know that I’m available tonight. I don’t want him to think I’m at his beck and call. I’m definitely not sitting around waiting to hear from him. But I’ve never been one to play games or pretend especially if I want something. And I want him . . . badly. It’s exactly one week since we were together and I haven’t been able to get him out of my mind. I want more even though I know the sensible thing to do is to keep away from him.
Sleeping with him again might get me more hooked on him than I already am which would make the inevitable end very hard for me. I sigh and type out my response to him.
Me: Sure. What time?
It takes him over ten minutes to respond, and I spend the entire time second-guessing my response to him.
Him: 7
Me: Ok. See you then
It’s seven on the dot and Julian’s standing at the door looking all kinds of gorgeous in dark jeans and a plain white T-shirt which highlights his broad shoulders.
“Hi,” he says, looking at me intently. There’s no smile on his lips and I can’t tell what he’s thinking.
Smiling at him, I open the door wider inviting him in. “Hey.”
He walks past me without touching me and I wonder if it’s deliberate. I have to stop being so damned anxious around him. Why would he avoid touching me? I remind myself that he wants to be here. He asked to see me.
“I don’t know what you like so I brought white and red.”
That’s when I notice the two bottles of wine he’s clutching in his hand. He brought wine. What does this mean? Does it mean anything? I look into his impassive face and I decide it would be dangerous to read anything into this gesture. He probably had a few bottles lying around in his house and brought a couple over.
“Thank you,” I say, not knowing what else to say. He shrugs dismissively and hands them over to me. It’s a bottle of Chardonnay and a bottle of Merlot.
“Which would you like to drink?” I ask, making my way to the kitchen to get wine glasses.
“Your choice. I’m good with any.”
I prefer white wine so I start to open the Chardonnay.
“Let me,” he says. He takes the bottle from me, our fingers touching, and opens it. He pours the wine into our glasses.
I take a large gulp to loosen the huge lump in my throat. There are butterflies fluttering wildly in my stomach and I’m feeling unusually shy. We’re sitting across from each other, a safe distance yet I’m completely aware of him.
He’s staring at me like he’s studying me and wants to memorize everything about me. This makes me more nervous. What is it about Julian that gets to me so much?
“I don’t know much about wine but I usually lean towards white,” I say. I want to fill the silence in the room and cover my nervousness. Hopefully he hasn’t noticed the effect he has on me.
“How are you?” he asks quietly.
“I’m good.” Should I mention the week at work? “It was a busy week.”
S
omething flickers in his eyes. “Yeah.”
We fall back into silence, but his eyes don’t leave me. He spent the entire week avoiding me, now he can’t keep his eyes off me. He has barely touched his wine while I’ve been taking huge gulps of mine, almost emptying my glass.
He sets his glass down and stands up. His presence seems to fill my living room. He closes the distance between us and sits down right next to me on the loveseat, his body rubbing against mine.
He takes the glass from me, sets it down and pulls me to him. I melt against him. With a single touch and no words, he makes me feel weak in the knees. What the heck is he doing to me? His hand is in my hair, gripping it and holding my head in place. He lowers his head and takes my lips in a gentle kiss.
“I want to apologize for leaving the way I did last week without answering your questions. I’m sorry . . . You want to talk about it?”
Shaking my head, I whisper, “Later,” and pull him back to me. I need his lips back on mine. His lips devour mine, leaving me almost mindless. His hand slides under my top and stroke my breast. My nipples are as hard as pebbles. Warm moisture pools between my legs aching for his touch.
My body is trembling with a need that only Julian can assuage. I want to ask but I hesitate. Sensing what I want, he stands up and pulls me up. I’m standing flush against him, with his arm around my waist.
“I want you,” he murmurs against my lips. He pulls my bottom lip with his teeth and sucks on it before capturing my lips in another panty-shredding kiss.
As soon as the kiss ends, I take his hand in mine and walk to my bedroom. Throwing off all my clothes, I stand naked, wet and ready in front of him. Looking directly at me, he takes off his clothes slowly. His body is beyond beautiful, and his rigid cock is at attention. I want him inside me more than I want anything else in the world right now.
He pulls me back to him, and captures my mouth again in a deeply sensual kiss. I’m not aware of moving or being moved but the next thing I know is that I’m lying with my back on the bed.