Stay With Me

by E. R. Wade

  “I am reluctant to get involved in your private life but my daughter has been crying for days. She has refused to eat anything and barely sleeps.” He pauses and looks away from me. He’s looking out one of the large bay windows. “I know Addison betrayed you in the worst possible way with that Connors boy, and her mother and I are disappointed. I admit I may not know what you’ve been through, and I have no intention of asking you to forgive her if you haven’t.” He turns his gaze back to me. “Addison says she asked you for a six-month trial period with counseling, and you turned her down. I need you to reconsider.”

  “I’m sorry, Victor. You know I loved your daughter,” I stress the word loved, “but our marriage is over. We can’t go back to how things were.”

  “You don’t have to go back. You can both start over with a clean slate.”

  “Victor, there’s nothing left there.” He understands what I’m saying. I don’t love his daughter and I don’t want to try.

  He drops his head, and drums his index finger on the mahogany table for a few seconds while I silently wait for him to continue. I know Victor, so I know he isn’t done. He never stops until he gets what he wants.

  “Is this because of Ms. Landon?” I’m not surprised that Victor knows. He makes it his business to know everything before going into a negotiation, and this is definitely a negotiation. I wonder if Addison knows. I don’t care if she does. I’m only concerned about Sofia.

  “No. She has nothing to do with it.”

  He searches my face for a clue to see if I’m being honest. Satisfied with whatever he sees, he nods. “Addison doesn’t know,” he says. Taking a deep breath, he adds, “Julian, do this not just for her but for me and Samantha. We’re your family too. It’s just a six-month period. If it doesn’t work out, she’ll sign the divorce papers.”

  I feel anger building inside me. “You want me to give up six months of my life to add to the two and a half years I’ve already given up, and let’s not forget the first two years of my marriage which was a complete sham, just to make your daughter happy?”

  To his credit, he looks a lot more uncomfortable than before.

  “I get it. I really do. She’s my daughter and I love her but . . . what she did . . .” He shakes his head sadly as his voice trails off. “I don’t know what I can say about that. But I know she’s devastated.” He suddenly looks tired. I take in the lines around his eyes, they look deeper than normal. He’s clearly worried about Addison. They’ve always been particularly close so this must be affecting him much worse than I think. “Will you at least think about it?”

  What is there to think about? “I already have. The answer is no.”

  He nods slowly, looking downcast. “Okay. We’ll respect that.”

  ***

  Addison

  I watched Julian leave the house hours ago. He didn’t bother to ask or look for me to say hello. He walked out the front door and straight to his car without a backward glance. He must really hate me now. I know I shouldn’t have threatened him. I panicked and said those horrible things to him, which of course I didn’t mean.

  Sean. This is all Sean’s fault. The truth is that I’m not angry at him anymore. It hurts so much that he isn’t here for me but I don’t want him here if he doesn’t want to be. I want him to be happy, and I hope he is.

  But Julian doesn’t want to be with me. So why am I fighting to hold on to him? Am I not being selfish? Perhaps I should listen to what my father is saying to me right now.

  “Let him go, sweetheart, for your sake and his. Hell, for all our sakes. You need to stop this. You’ll end up destroying the few good memories he has of you.”

  “Dad, do you know that the first time I saw him I knew I wanted to be with him forever? I don’t know if I can give him up. I need him. He promised to love me through thick and thin,” I say wretchedly.

  My father doesn’t come to me like I expect. He just looks at me sadly, and says, “Then you shouldn’t have cheated on him with his friend.”

  I draw in a sharp breath. That’s harsh. My father has never been this blunt with me. “I know, Daddy. I made a mistake. Julian always forgives me. Why can’t he forgive me now?” I wipe the tears that roll down my cheeks with my fingers, and add, “I told him I’m willing to go to therapy.”

  “He’s a better man than me. He came to the hospital every week for two years to sit by your side. If I were him, I wouldn’t do that. I’d have the divorce papers on your bedside table and it would be the first thing you see when you wake up. I wouldn’t have entertained this conversation and you wouldn’t have gotten a cent of my money in the divorce.” He pauses as if to check that I’m listening to him. I am. I thought his previous statement was harsh . . . this is brutal. “You need to go to therapy on your own. I don’t think you fully understand the severity of the situation.”

  “How can you say that?” I feel like everyone has turned against me, even my dad that I could always count on. He doesn’t believe me. “I’m devastated that I hurt him and I just want to make it right.” Despair is a feeling I’m becoming quite familiar with. “It’s been two years . . .” I add lamely, not knowing what else to say.

  “Because you haven’t been available for those two years, so he’s dealing with it now. If it makes you feel better, I think he’s forgiven you but . . . I don’t think he’s in love with you anymore.” A gasp of pain slips out of my lips unwittingly. “I know you don’t want to hear that but it’s time you face the truth. The only way to make this right is to sign the divorce papers. Put his happiness above yours.”

  “Your father is right,” my mother says from behind me. I didn’t hear her come in. Her kind eyes look sadly at me. “Julian is a wonderful man but it’s time to move on and rebuild your life. Your father, Elle and I are here to support you in every way we can and for as long as you need us.”

  Deep down I know I’ve lost him but I’m not sure if I have the strength to be without him.

  I know I’m being selfish, but I don’t want to be alone.

  My parents’ words are still ringing in my ears when I receive an email from the private investigator. The email contains pictures of Julian with an auburn-haired woman. In one picture, he’s opening the passenger door of his car for her to get in. In another, he’s looking down at her and they are both smiling. The pictures have a similar theme. It’s obvious that they are very close. There’s a familiarity about them. In all of the pictures, what strikes me the most is the expression on his face when he’s looking at her. There’s tenderness in his gaze and he’s smiling. He has the look of a man in love.

  THIRTY-EIGHT

  Sofia

  “You’re the woman sleeping with my husband.”

  Surprised, I look up from my latte and my gaze collides with a pair of blue eyes. This is Julian’s wife, Addison. She is even more beautiful in the flesh than in the pictures I’ve seen. Her eyes are darker than Julian’s, and she has wavy, shoulder-length blond hair. She’s a couple of inches taller than me, and has a slender figure. Her skin is incredibly smooth and clear, and from what I can tell, the only makeup she has on is nude lipstick. She has a thin scar on her face but it doesn’t take away from her natural beauty.

  She’s expensively dressed in black skinny jeans, and a white button-down shirt with the top buttons undone and rolled up at the sleeves, and a Hermès Birkin bag. She looks elegant and classically chic.

  “Addison,” I say softly.

  Not waiting for an invitation, she sits down opposite me. “Yes.”

  She stares at me for a minute, studying me and staying silent. I can’t tell what she’s going to do but I really wish Julian was here right now. I don’t want to deal with her alone. I should have been prepared for this, but how do you prepare to meet your boyfriend’s soon-to-be ex-wife? Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I would fall in love with a man with a wife, and then come face-to-face with her.

  Finally, she speaks. “I want my husband back.”

&nb
sp; “You should speak to Julian,” I tell her quietly.

  “I have. Now I’m speaking to you.”

  I say nothing. What can I say that will not make this uncomfortable situation worse?

  She continues to stare at me, and I don’t know how I manage it but I hold her gaze with a calmness I don’t feel.

  If I had known that I would be sitting opposite Addison in the café, I would not have left the office at all. I am not ready to do this with her. I’m just grateful I came here alone, and not with Erin or Alana.

  It occurs to me that even if I had avoided her today, I would have only succeeded in delaying the inevitable. This isn’t a coincidence. Addison deliberately sought me out. She’s obviously here to warn me off Julian. I’ll hear her out. I have no intention of getting into an argument with her in public, especially right opposite the office.

  “Is he happy?” she asks. The question takes me by surprise. It’s not what I imagined she would say or ask. I was expecting to hear the words ‘home-wrecker’ and ‘slut’ thrown at me.

  “Yes, he is.” There’s no point telling her that he’d be much happier when she signs the divorce papers. I know Julian wants to close that chapter of his life for good.

  She turns away from me, and I have the distinct impression that she’s fighting back tears. She turns back to me after a few moments dry-eyed, sizing me up.

  “I hate you.” I suck in a breath. Looking closely at her, I don’t see hate or anger in her eyes, just sorrow . . . and what I think may be regret. Should I apologize? I have no idea what to do in this situation. I’ve never been the other woman. This isn’t something I came looking for and I couldn’t walk away from him. I can’t leave Julian. Maybe I should have but I couldn’t. I feel like our destinies are bound together.

  Addison lets out a tired breath, and stands up. Before walking away, she says, “Take care of him. He’s a great guy.” Then she’s out the door.

  I must have stared at the door for not less than five minutes before leaving my now cold caramel latte and making my way back to the office.

  My legs feel numb. I smile politely at the familiar faces in the elevator as it ascends. The brief encounter with Julian’s wife has left me in knots. I was preparing my mind for yelling and name-calling but instead she tells me that she hates me and I should take care of him. Does it mean she’s going to sign the divorce papers? My mind is in a whirl. I find myself standing in Julian’s doorway. I can’t remember walking from the elevator to his office. I was going to go to mine to think through what happened and hopefully get some work done afterwards, but instead I’m standing in his doorway staring at him.

  He’s leaning over his large table looking at the building plans laid out on it. I love him. I love him so much, more than I thought it was possible to love another human being. I don’t know if I make a sound but he suddenly looks up. He doesn’t hide that he’s pleased to see me. He has a huge grin on his face which slowly fades away as I stare into his beautiful light blue eyes. My heart is pounding and my palms feel damp. His brows furrow with concern.

  “Are you okay? Is something wrong?”

  I shake my head and take a step towards him. He walks round his table towards me, his face filled with concern.

  “Sofia –”

  I don’t let him say whatever he was about to say. I fling myself into his arms, and it’s obvious that I’ve stunned him because he goes still for a moment, his hands tight on my waist before he wraps his arms around me in a fierce hug. I’ve been so adamant about keeping our personal life out of the office that he must be wondering why I’m clinging to him tightly in his office with his door wide open and in full view of everyone.

  “Baby, what happened?” he whispers against my ear which makes me shiver with awareness. I tighten my hold on him. “Your heart is beating so fast. Please tell me what happened.”

  I want to tell him I love him but I don’t. I’m not ready to say it out loud just yet and certainly not in the office. I shake my head against his chest.

  “But you’ll tell me, right?”

  I nod in response.

  “Okay.” A few seconds later, he murmurs, “Would you like me to close the door? I don’t mind it open.”

  He’s asking because of me. I know by now almost everyone, if not everyone, will know about us. I pull out of his arms slowly. He lets me go but holds my hand in his.

  “I don’t mind it open too.”

  That makes him happy. He smiles down at me, his eyes caressing my face. I wonder briefly if my insistence that I didn’t want anyone at work to know about us made him feel like I’m not completely committed to our relationship. I never thought about how it affects him. So when he asks me the next question, I find myself saying yes.

  “You want to get out of here?”

  “Yes.”

  “Can I tell Nadya?”

  I nod.

  His hand tightens on mine. With his gaze holding mine, he punches the digits to Nadya’s office in his phone. “Sofia and I are leaving the office for the day.” After a short pause, he adds, “I will. Thanks.”

  He drops the receiver back on the table. Waving at the plans spread out on his table, he says, “Let me pack this up and we can leave.”

  “I’ll go and pack up my stuff.”

  “Do you need help?”

  “No. It’ll just take me a minute. I’ll meet you at the lobby.”

  He nods slowly, finally letting go of my hand. His light blue eyes not leaving my face. I force myself to take a step back, and then another before turning and walking out the door and straight to my office, ignoring all the inquisitive glances I get. I managed to avoid looking directly at anyone. I quickly throw my phone into my bag and grab my jacket.

  As I head towards the lobby, I see Erin and Gina standing at the doors, grinning widely at me. There’s no avoiding them. I smile weakly back at them, not stopping to chat. I notice they don’t look surprised. Julian and I evidently weren’t being as discreet as we thought. Two minutes after I get to the lobby, Julian comes to stand beside me carrying a cylindrical case containing rolled-up building plans. I must have interrupted his work. I didn’t even think about how busy he must be.

  “Julian, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt your work,” I say, gesturing at the case.

  He pulls me close to him. “You didn’t.”

  I know I did, and it’s making me feel guilty.

  “I wasn’t thinking. I shouldn’t have barged into your office.”

  “I’m really glad you did.” He sounds so sincere. Yet it doesn’t ease my guilt.

  “We can go back and leave in a few hours,” I suggest.

  “Sofia, I don’t want to go back. I can finish what I’m working on at home. Besides, you’re much more important to me and I want to be with you.”

  And that’s that. He effectively ends my protests, and I immediately melt into him. The elevator pings and the doors slide open. There are two Chinese men in dark suits inside. I smile at them politely and step inside with Julian right by my side. We are both quiet until we are seated in his car.

  “Where would you like to go?

  “Home,” I answer without hesitation. He drives us to his apartment.

  As soon as we walk into his apartment, I drop my bag on the floor and launch myself at him, pulling his head down for a kiss. He doesn’t hesitate. He devours my lips. We make our way to the bedroom, flinging our clothes on the way. It’s like we are both driven with a need to claim each other and be claimed in return. Maybe we are reaffirming our commitment to each other. Whatever it is, I know I never want him to let me go.

  A couple of hours later, I am lying replete in his arms. I can’t believe I left work in the middle of the afternoon to have sex with Julian. Mind-blowing sex. I can’t even muster an ounce of guilt. The things he does to my body cannot be described with mere words.

  Stroking his back, I say, “I don’t think I can move for at least a week.”

  Chuckling at my words
, he playfully murmurs, “I take it you liked it.”

  “More than liked it. In fact I’m worried this might turn into a habit. Me stealing you during the day for amazing sex,” I tease.

  He immediately turns serious. “Will you tell me what happened today?”

  There is no reason to keep it from him. “Addison.”

  He goes still beside me. “What about her?” The playfulness is completely gone from his voice.

  “I met her today.”

  “You what?” he asks, surprised.

  “I met her today,” I repeat calmly.

  He puts a finger under my chin and lifts my face to his. “What happened?” he asks in a hard and demanding tone.

  I tell him everything. He is silent as I relay the conversation I had with her. I can tell he is furious.

  “That bitch,” he grinds out through clenched teeth.

  “Julian,” I admonish. I’m shocked he would call her that.

  “She is. She had no right to accost you.”

  “I know, but she didn’t threaten me. I didn’t feel threatened. I think she was just curious.”

  My words unintentionally fan the flames of his anger. “Sofia, stop making excuses for her. I don’t give a fuck why. I’ve had enough of her trying to mess with us.”

  “Will you please calm down,” I say, sitting up on the bed, my post-coital glow dimming.

  “I’ve had it with that woman,” he storms.

  Before I can blink, he has gotten up from the bed and is striding to his closet to pull on some clothes.

  “What are you doing?” I ask, gripping the sheets over my chest. I am taken aback by his anger.

  “I’m going to see Addison,” he answers without looking at me.

  Something squeezes in my chest. “You’re leaving me in your bed to go and see her?” I ask incredulously. He still doesn’t look at me.

  “I’ll be back soon.” He’s pulling on a pair of black jeans.

  Striving to stay calm, I take a deep breath and relax back onto the bed. “Julian?”