The Strings That Hold Us Together

by Kendra Mase

  The other half was that, at least with Evie, he didn’t have to worry about getting unnecessary pestering anymore. Not after he yelled at her when he got back from home about where Kit was.

  Not his finest moment.

  Walking over to the other side of the stage, the clock at the back of the house ticked. Clapping erupted from the space as they waited for the next thing to come on.

  Nik squeezed through a group of people.

  “Evie here?” Jack asked.

  “They’re here. Just get on stage.”

  Nearly shoved out onto the stage, Jack was met with the sound he loved. Drunken joy and excitement. There was another reason he didn’t mind being the main event before the midnight ball dropped. Half the people here wouldn’t care what happened on stage as long as they remembered they were here for it.

  All of it.

  Taking a deep breath, he looked down at his black shoes. He took a step, and then another. Each movement was deliberate, as the indifferent mask he schooled himself in over the years slipped into place.

  And he breathed, running through the scene they practiced a few dozen times through his head.

  He thought of reminding Kit the same words he thought to himself, remembering the way her chest rose so close to his.

  In and out.

  He looked up to where the person likely did the same as they took a step to meet him.

  Kit stood on the other end of the stage.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  They’d never played this kind of game before.

  Katherine’s breath shook between her ribs from the moment she stepped out on stage. Jack’s eyes widening just enough that she knew he definitely wasn’t expecting her. Neither was she really when she showed up at DuCain, knowing he would be here. The only person she couldn’t find was Evie as Nik searched the back rooms, stumbling across her instead.

  “Have you seen Evie?” Nik asked, eyes wide as the rumble of clapping hands died down above.

  She shook her head. “I haven’t seen her.”

  Swearing, Nik continued to search. She hadn’t called in. She should’ve been at the club hours ago.

  Truth or dare? Katherine asked herself, freezing in the middle of the dungeon hallway, clenching and unclenching her hands into fists.

  “I’ll do it. I’ll go.”

  But still, nothing could prepare her for what those words entailed as she looked across the stage in front of her, lit with the lights that always shined down on Jack the first time she ever saw him, and now she was under them too.

  The crowd cried in a roar for fresh blood.

  Frozen in her confidence, her steps, Katherine could barely see the crowd in the darkness surrounding them. All eyes were on her.

  She could only listen and focus on him as he stalked toward her.

  She expected him to whisper, What are you doing here? What do you think you are doing?

  But instead, Jack growled a single word. “Kneel.”

  As she had been taught by Evie, she carefully slid down, like candle wax down a stem. Before Jack, her eyes positioned downward.

  Until his finger lifted her chin back up.

  “Well, isn’t this a surprise,” Jack murmured so low Katherine knew only she could hear. “I thought you said you didn’t like surprises.”

  “I live to please.”

  “Is that so?” Jack grinned. “Eyes on me, Kitten.”

  Where else would they go?

  Up, down, stand, kneel. Jack traced his fingers across her skin but went no further, and somehow the crowd seemed just as pleased by the change of pace as he did. They watched her. All eyes were on her, unlike all the other times when she walked into DuCain. There were questions in their eyes then.

  What was she doing here?

  Now there was the answer, and when Katherine caught a gaze among the stage lights flickering in and out with her gasp of breath when Jack ordered her to crawl and she did so without question, there was no confusion on anyone’s faces.

  There were different games, other than impact, which Jack insisted he didn’t play live anymore without practicing the set first, Katherine remembered. This was pure obedience. Humiliation. Submission.

  But to Katherine, as she tilted her chin down and let her gaze glow back up at him, in their own little world together for just this moment, she needed to say nothing. Explain nothing. Be nothing.

  And it felt like devotion.

  An order to stand.

  Katherine stood.

  An order to look at him.

  Her eyes were already there.

  Then, just like she imagined after seeing another girl on stage once.

  Jack sauntered across the stage as if there was one more game he wanted to play and slammed his mouth onto hers.

  DuCain went wild.

  Her heart hammered in her chest as they stumbled off into the wings together. She couldn’t tell who was tugging the other more, trying to get backstage before she was twisted up against the dungeon door and there was nowhere else to go.

  There was nowhere else Katherine wanted to go. She wanted this right now, Jack on her and to never leave, never to say a word and they could keep pretending, at least for a little while, that everything was okay. They were both performers at DuCain and made such perfect partners—fit so perfectly against each other.

  His lips captured hers and she pulled him close against her, feeling the rough fabric of his pants skid between her knees. She shut off her brain, trying not to think of anything or anyone else. She needed this, his mouth on her.

  Jack’s hands gripped into her sides before he broke to pull back. His breath was heavy and erratic. “I thought…”

  “I don’t know yet.”

  She barely knew what she just did. All she wanted to do was say yes, forgive and let it all go, but the moment she stepped off stage, the moment he looked at her, every lie from him and Emilie crashed back into her and she couldn’t help but wonder—was the act over?

  Was that smile for her?

  She kissed him anyway, relishing the hot compulsion he had over her, around her, as he slid a hand to the back of her neck so she couldn’t escape. She put her arms back around his shoulders, hugging him close as she tugged at the collar of his shirt as the tension between them melted.

  It was perfectly right here as he nipped at her bottom lip with a gentle tug. Katherine’s chest heaved with want. She missed him. How could she have not?

  “Jack.”

  “What?” he snapped at the interruption.

  Nik stood there in the darkness a few steps away. Their phone hung by their side as they looked between the two of them.

  “It’s Avril.”

  And Katherine and Jack were both suddenly free of any words they may or may not have had left held between bodies so close.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  “I never even knew Avril had a brother,” Katherine said softly. She tried to ignore the pain she felt all over whenever she looked at him in the Jeep.

  They drove down the highway toward their unknown destination and the engine roared underneath and filled the space.

  Jack adjusted himself in his seat, running his hand through his dirty hair, clearing his throat. “Yeah… neither did I. I always thought she was joking. But Reed just told me.”

  She nodded.

  “Kit.”

  “Stop,” Katherine choked. She could still feel him on her lips, forcing herself not to reach up and touch them. “Just because I—”

  “Came to DuCain? Got on stage with me?” Jack supplied.

  “Just because I didn’t want to see all the work we did crash and burn—we don’t have to do this right now. We can’t do this right now.”

  Jack huffed. His hands gripped the steering wheel tighter. “I just…”

  Just.

  “Please, Jack. Don’t. We have to… we have to focus on Avril right now. We have to find her brother, whatever his name is.”

  “Kellen.”


  “Kellen. We will find him and get back to the city. That is all we have to do. Focus on her,” Katherine said, the final part delicately.

  “That’s going to be hard.”

  “Don’t.”

  “Because the only person I have been able to think about for the past weeks has been you.”

  Katherine said nothing. If she did, she would’ve had to say the same thing.

  “Truth or dare, Kit?”

  “I don’t want to play.”

  “I see it differently,” Jack countered. “Truth or dare?”

  Still, she didn’t answer. Not until she shut her eyes. “Truth. I missed you. Is that what you want to hear? Is that what you want me to say? I missed you and your stupid smile and everything about you, and that I feel like you stole my entire life that took me twenty years to build up in my head before it was finally right in front of me. Then, it was all suddenly gone, and it was your fault because you lied, and I took your truth when you told me that you hated secrets. Is that what you want me to say to you, right now?”

  Tears brimmed out of her eyes.

  Jack said nothing.

  She forced her eyes to stay open for the entire ride on the highway that became darker as they left the city in near silence. The car lights were the only thing pulsing over the white lines, leading them closer to their destination. Pulling up outside of the hotel bar, there was one thing that Katherine had only seen before in the movies. There was a sign hanging off the edge of the building, underneath, rocky dirt parking spaces for a long line of motorcycles.

  Jack came around to the passenger door before Katherine had a chance to unlock her seat belt.

  “Avril’s brother is a biker?”

  He turned, noticing the extreme number of Harleys at the same moment. “Damn. I thought she was kidding.”

  “Avril. Kidding?”

  Were they talking about the same person?

  Jack’s lips dropped from his sad smile. “You have a point.”

  Walking through the side door, a few glances were immediately tossed in their direction. The bar was packed with bodies, leather, and pints of watery beer scattered on the tops of tables.

  Jack looped his arm around Katherine, leading her farther into the crowd cheering at the football game on television, no doubt a replay from earlier in the week. The men and few women yelled and swore with every pass anyway.

  “How are we going to find him?” Katherine asked, looking around. From what she gathered, it wasn’t like they had a wanted poster or even a photograph from Avril to go off of.

  Leaning down over her shoulder, Jack was about to reply when his and the rest of the voices in the bar were cut off.

  “Get the fuck away from me.” A statement that once Avril would have screamed came out low and empty through the bar. It was not loud but penetrating. It ended in a sour laugh.

  Katherine paused at the sound of that resonating tone. That accent.

  “Well, I think we found him.”

  The man had a head of fire slouched over his elbows, positioned on the wood bar top. He was tall and broad. At least that’s how he appeared from where Katherine and Jack approached him from, squished between other large men in jackets. He and Avril looked similar. Soft face and dull green eyes blinking down into his beer.

  After a moment, Kellen huffed and looked up into their stares. He looked faintly bored, resting his freckled face against one fist. “And what are you two fancy faces doing hangin’ out in these parts? Did you get lost?”

  Katherine shook her head. “We—We’ve been looking for someone actually.”

  “Oh yeah?” Kellen looked her up and down. His eyes were a lot more vibrant than they were a moment ago. Almost alien. She felt Jack’s hand stiffen on her lower back. “Poor bugger.”

  “No,” Katherine stuttered. “I mean, we are here looking for you—Kellen McClair?”

  At the sound of his full name, even the man on the other side of Kellen seemed a little more interested in Katherine. Without looking, Kellen whipped his hand back to wave his friends off.

  “Is that so?” He tapped the corners of his pint glass.

  “It is. It’s Avril actually, your sister.”

  “I know who my sister is.”

  “I didn’t—she needs you,” Katherine insisted. This was Avril’s brother—her family, and yet he could not look less interested.

  “And if you knew who my sister was, you would also know that she doesn’t need anyone. Especially me.”

  “She needs you now. Please.”

  Kellen still did not look convinced. Actually, he took a sip of his drink and rolled his eyes at Katherine’s attempt at sincerity. “Really? The last time I saw my sister was on a cover of some sex magazine at a truck stop in Oklahoma a year or two ago. Looked like it was sellin’ pretty damn well. Looks like she is also doing pretty damn well. The time before that, I left her on some steps somewhere in some sucky suburbs.” Kellen gestured around him with a shrug. “I left for my brothers and my family. She got her own, and I got my own. We have an understanding.”

  Jack cleared his throat, finally coming alive. “We are Avril’s family.”

  “Good.” Kellen tipped his imaginary hat to him. “Then you go help her.”

  Both of them stood in stunned silence. Katherine leaned into Jack, hoping that it would give some semblance of her needing backup. This was clearly not going as smoothly as either of them planned.

  “Look,” Jack began. He breathed deeply before he continued. It looked like the signature McClair attitude was wearing on both of their patience and insomnia. “We love Avril. Get it? We wouldn’t be here if we didn’t have to be. Your sister is in trouble and asked for you—I don’t know. All I do know is that Reed, who is probably a better brother to her than you, knows that for some reason you are the only one who can help her right now.”

  “What’s wrong with her? She lost another fight? Run away?”

  “She hasn’t left her boyfriend’s apartment in almost three months,” Katherine whispered.

  “What?” Kellen’s head whipped toward them. The rest of him swayed.

  “I saw her a few weeks ago.”

  “You did?” Jack leaned to see Katherine’s face.

  Her gaze remained firmly on Kellen. “I didn’t think anything of it. I mean, she left dancing. She said she needed a break. The other day, though, when I went to her, she yelled. Not that that is out of the ordinary, but she wouldn’t open the door all the way.”

  Kellen still stared at her, unsure.

  It dawned on her then. “She gave me these.”

  Without hesitation, Katherine reached toward her knees and drew her skirt up as high as it could go on the one side. She didn’t feel the stares. They didn’t matter anymore. What did was the three sparkling brooches that had belonged to Avril and Avril’s mother, hanging from her garter belt of ribbons.

  His sea-green eyes attached to the precious stones. “Let me finish my drink.”

  Shoving the seat back until it clicked into position, Kellen stretched out in the back seat after screaming at his friends to take his bike back to the house. He had business to attend to. And no, it wasn’t any of their fucking business.

  Jack held out a hand to help Katherine climb in before rounding to the driver’s seat.

  “Do you want me to drive for a bit?” Katherine asked. “You drove all the way here and must be tired.”

  Jack looked at her as if she was joking. “Kit, I don’t mean to be rude, but you look like you haven’t slept in days.”

  “I haven’t.”

  “What?” Jack’s amused expression suddenly turned stern.

  Katherine only shrugged. She didn’t need to be chastised. She was fine. She was still awake and moving, wasn’t she?

  “I’ve had a lot of orders to catch up on,” Katherine said hesitantly. “It seems someone published the shop’s website without me.”

  He visibly swallowed as the Jeep groaned back to life. “Do you like it?�
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  “The pictures—they’re beautiful, Jack.”

  A groan came from behind them. “My god, are you two going to screw in the front seat or are we going?”

  Shaking his head, Jack put the Jeep in reverse and made sure that Katherine and big brother McClair both had their seat belts on before they reached the highway. They were all back in darkness even as the radio dial burned a dull blue but didn’t play a single song, even though Katherine questioned it from Kellen’s constant humming.

  Leaning back, Katherine almost found whatever he was singing in the back of his throat soothing.

  Katherine opened her eyes again to a big red sign shining into her line of vision after what she thought was only a few miles later. “What are you doing?”

  Jack peeked over his shoulder before rolling down his window. He ordered into the tiny black fast-food box. French fries. A milkshake.

  “Get me a burger, man,” Kellen mumbled loudly from the back seat. His eyes were closed as he kicked up his feet on the edge of the center console. “God, you just had to need me when I was a pint of fuckin’ whisky in, dinna ya?”

  Katherine looked to Jack. He shrugged his shoulders. Neither of them could be sure if he was talking to them or the swirling sky. He stretched his tattoo-covered arms upward. Katherine swore that he must have thought the smog-covered stars were going to reach down and pick him straight up out of the Jeep at that moment.

  Instead, the worker reached out and handed Jack a grease-filled paper bag and a large cup, striped straw included.

  “If you haven’t slept in days, I don’t even want to ask about what you’ve been eating.” He handed everything to Katherine, who handed the bag with a cheeseburger back to Kellen. Kellen immediately fished it out of the bag before they were even on the road. He moaned in drunken delight.

  Jack pressed his lips together in an attempt not to smile.

  Katherine couldn’t hold herself together that well as the deep sounds continued in the back seat. She let loose a choked giggle. “What are you doing back there?”