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"Ohhhhhh! Shittttt! Ohhhhhhh! Shitttttt! I'm cominnnngggg againnnnn." Mya
immediately shot into another spasmic orgasm, bucking her body uncontrollably and mumbling like she was speaking in tongues.
"Mmmmm-mmmm-mm-mm-mm-m-m-mm-m"
Her left leg was shaking violently as the greatest feeling she had ever felt surged through her body. She didn't know what to think and didn't know what to do. It wasn't too long ago that she was feeling suicidal over the same man that had just made love to her. It hadn't been long ago that this same man had taken her virginity and left her at the lowest point she had ever been in.
The fuel from her fire had propelled her to call her mother for advice on that fateful night. Now she was a mega-star. The song she recorded, I don't need you, was an anthem to every girl who had ever been jilted by a lover. She had already sold 2 million downloads on iTunes since she released it. She had not only empowered every female that had been wronged by a lover, she had also empowered herself against her
kryptonite.
She would never play the desperate fool again. Would never let a man hurt her like Jamal did. Mentally she hated Jamal for all of the emotional trauma that he put her through. Physically she hated him for the extended periods of withdrawal that he made her endure. But no matter how much her mind and body hated Jamal, her heart and soul wouldn't agree; her voice their codefendant.
"I-I-I- love... you... too... Jamal."
Her body continued to shudder lightly as the after-effects of her orgasm took hold. Its potency weak but its power superhuman. She was confused and she knew that Jamal could have been lying to her, but she was happy. Mega-star or not, she was still a human being with needs. Her voice spoke for her
exhausted heart and her mind agreed with her exhausted voice. Her body agreed with her exhausted mind, and in Jamal's arms, she relaxed and fell asleep like a new born baby.
******
5-13-2002 Tammy was packing the remaining pieces of luggage with tears in her eyes. It was destroying her to have to leave her husband, home, and kids behind, but her bad decision making put her in that situation. She had no other option. Either she would have to tell her husband that she had cheated on him and contracted HIV, or she was going to have to just leave while he was at work and never come back.
She wiped her eyes and said a prayer, asking God to forgive her for her sins. She asked God to protect her through the duration of her journey. She asked Him for help.
Her silent prayers became louder, and she fell to her knees and closed her eyes.
"God forgive me for all of my sins. God I'm sorrrryyyy! I'm sorrrrrrrrryyyyyy Godddd! I hurt my husbannddddd! And he's such a good man God! I just ask that you send him somebody worthy of him God. I'm not worthy God. I'm not worthy of this good man that you sent me! I just wasn't ready God! Please send him a woman who will treat my kids as her own. Send him a woman who will communicate with him instead of doing what I did."
Richie stood there with tears in his eyes as he watched his wife pray, plead, and beg to the Lord. He had been silent the whole time, but he just couldn't hold it in anymore.
"What did you do Tammy?"
Tammy jumped back in fear when she heard Richie speak. She looked up and saw the hurt and confusion set into her husband's face. His eyes were bloodshot and his lips were trembling. She noticed that he was holding a pistol in his right hand, and it too was trembling.
He repeated, "What did you doooooo Tammy?"
His question sounded like a cry for help, a wail of fright and horror elevating from his lips.
"You cheated on me Tammy?"
This question threw her off guard. How would he know if she cheated? She hadn't told him that, and no way could she admit to it while he was holding a pistol.
"Wh-wh-what do you mean ba-ba-baby?"
"Don't play with me! I saw Markees driving your got damn car Tammy! Are you cheating on me?"
She saw that he was unstable and wielding a dangerous weapon, so she tried to think fast.
"Ba-ba-baby.... I-I-I was trying t-t-to sell the c-c-car..."
"Sell the car for what Tammy? And why are you packing suitcases? Tell me what's going on baby! Tell me!"
Tammy shook her head and tried to wipe the tears from her face. It seemed like the more she wiped, the more they appeared.
"I'm having problems Richie," she cried, "bad, badddddd, bad problems that you are not going to understand. It's badddddd Richie. I have ruined my life and I gotta gooooooo."
Tammy was dripping tears down her chin and neck. Her body was trembling as if she were being electrocuted. Anger consumed her body due to the choices she'd made, and fear punished her psyche because of the choice she thought her husband was about to make.
Richie tried to calm her down. "Baby... baby... calm down baby, please. Baby... I married you because I love you. Because you're my best friend and my soul mate. I married you for better or for worse, in sickness and in health Tammy. And I want you to know that you can tell me anything baby. That's what I'm here for, I'm your husband."
At that moment, Tammy knew it was over. She knew she had successfully destroyed a good man who genuinely cared about her and loved her. She knew that the damage had already been done and there was nothing left to do but to accept her punishment. She looked in Richie's eyes and saw love, understanding, confusion, and passion.
Here was a man who loved her, and she had wronged him. She said her final prayers to God; asked Him for forgiveness, and braced herself. She figured that she would rather die by the hands of the man who loved her instead of letting AIDS take her out slowly.
"I-I-I cheat-cheated on-on you... with MarMar-Keese," she whispered with pity evident in her voice, "I-I-I caught HIV."
Tammy cried as she confessed her sins against her husband, her tears burning as they escaped her eyelids.
She looked at Richie and saw a strange expression on his face. It was a look of outright disgust. The look of a madman who had been betrayed by his own family. Tears streamed from his eyes and his body was shaking like it was two degrees outside and he was topless.
For a long moment he just stood there and let his tears speak for him. Richie had never experienced pain of that magnitude ever before in his life. Within the span of one hour, his perfect marriage had turned into his worse nightmare. All of the times he had been preaching to his brother about doing right by women, and here his wife was violating every rule and making a mockery of him.
The pain started in his heart and spread through his entire body slowly. Once the pain reached his knees, they buckled and
collapsed; causing him to hit the floor in pain.
Tammy had said her final prayers and was ready to accept her fate. She knew that death was coming, but she no longer feared its arrival. No one was going to emotionally support her in her situation, so she was actually eager for death's cold embrace.
"I-I-I'm s-s-sorry R-Richie..."
His pain turned into anger and rage. Jealousy and betrayal were competing for his sanity, eating away at his mental health and causing his soul to become unstable. Jealousy and betrayal both won, but their plan was to share the prize.
He stood up, staggered like he had been drinking all night, and walked over to where his wife was cowering in fear.
Tears and snot were a common mixture on both of their faces and they made no effort to clean it.
It was the picture of a lover scorned and the scornee.
The poster perfect picture of deceit. Humiliation and infidelity had both joined and made it a group photo.
Richie raised his gun and cocked it.
"I-I-I lo-loved.... y-y-you.... T... Tammy."
BAM!
******
Chapter 4
Jamal Jamal was laying in Mya's bed dreaming about starring in his own reality show. Before he met Lisa, he had never even dreamed of going into the entertainment industry. He was content with just being a professional player for the rest of his life. Everything the stars p
ossessed, he felt he could attain it simply by dating them.
But Lisa Lee had brought some fire to his life. Her arrogance had inspired him to do whatever he could so that he could rise to the top of the social world. The advantage he had was that he'd already had a love affair going on with a mega-star who was 20 times bigger than Lisa Lee could ever be.
He shifted in Mya's soft, luxurious bed and stretched; still half asleep.
"Jamallllll!"
He heard his name being called, but he couldn't tell if it was the paparazzi in his dream, or if it was Mya.
"Jamal! Jamal!"
The voice was closer.
"Jamal, wake up. Your cell phone has been ringing for 30 minutes straight!"
He drowsily glanced at Mya, who was already up and had on her workout gear.
"Mmmmmm... pass me the phone..."
"Pass the phone? The phone is right beside the bed. Grab it! I don't...."
He watched Mya waltz out of the room mumbling something about having other women calling his phone. He shook his head and smiled.
"Mmm...hello?"
"Hello, could I please speak with Jamal Andrews?"
Jamal glanced at the caller ID with a dumb founded expression on his face. He didn't recognize the number, and he definitely didn't recognize the voice on the other end of the phone.
"Hey... who is this?"
"Sir, this is Dr. Thomas. Is there a Jamal Andrews available?"
Jamal's heart started pounding, he was hoping that nothing had happened to his mother.
"This is Jamal..." He sat upright in the bed. "What's the problem Doc?"
"Ahh, yes, you have a brother?"
"Huh? Yea I have a brother, what's the problem? Stop beating around the bush! What's the problem?"
"Sorry sir, I was filling out this paperwork sir. Your brother, Richie Andrews has just attempted to commit suicide."
Jamal was irate. "Suicide? Man my brother isn't suicidal, there must be some mistake!"
"I'm afraid not. He shot him self in the chest and is in critical condition. Before he went unconscious, he asked me to call you and tell you to come see him."
Jamal threw on a pair of jogging pants and a T-shirt and ran out of the bedroom.
"Which hospital Doc?"
"UPMC."
Jamal snapped his phone shut as he ran through Mya's living room.
"Baby, where are you going?"
"Hospital. Richie's been shot Mya!"
Mya dropped the glass of water she had been drinking and it shattered against the shiny wooden floor.
"Shot? I'm coming with you! Can I come?"
Usually, Jamal would have never allowed Mya to be seen with him in public. Her superstar profile attracted too many pictures and would endanger his profession. If People magazine released a picture of him and Mya, and then he was with Lisa Lee or some other chick the next week, it would spell scandal for Mya. But he didn't have the time to go back and forth with Mya right then, his brother needed him.
"Come on then girl, let's go!"
Mya ran out the door behind her man, willing to support him in any way possible. She loved Jamal and there was nothing she could do about it but accept it. She hadn't had too many boyfriends in her 24 years, but she still understood that you couldn't choose love, love chose you.
****** Jamal arrived at the hospital just inside of 8 minutes. He hurriedly parked and starting running towards the entrance.
"Jamal, wait! Don't leave me behind!" Jamal turned around and ran up to Mya. "Baby I need you in the worst way right
now. In a few minutes, my mother and sister will be here and I'll need you to console them. Keep them in the waiting room, and keep them calm baby. Pleeaaassseee do this for me."
"Of course I'll do it Jamal... I care for you too much for me not to do it." Jamal leaned in and gave her one of the most passionate kisses she had ever received. It was an eerie kiss and it felt like electric sparks shot off to the side when they
disconnected.
Jamal turned and sprinted to the hospital and through the glass double doors. Mya stood there, shaken because she despised being around drama, but knowing she had no choice. She was there to emotionally support her man even though every fiber of her existence was telling her that something was wrong.
Mya sighed and said a silent prayer. After the prayer, the feeling that something was wrong was even more dominant. Something bad was going to happen, but she couldn't figure out what it was, or when it was going to happen.
****** When Jamal entered the hospital room, his eyes immediately teared up. He couldn't stand the thought of his older brother laying up in the hospital like that. And suicide? This didn't sound like his big brother at all.
And where is his wife? I bet that bitch was involved some kind of way. He loved her too much, Jamal thought as he stared at the hospital bed through tears. He wiped his eyes and took a closer look. Richie's body looked like a telephone pole with all of those wires connected to it. It was a sad sight and an even sadder day.
He went and knelt beside his brother's bed and prayed for him. He grabbed Richie's hands while shaking his head in a state of shock. Tears dripped from his face and onto Richie's hand.
"Whattttt.... youu.... cryin... for?"
"Whoa Richie! You're awake! Just relax bro, everything is going to be fine man.. I'll
call a doctor. Save your energy! You're going to need it because I'm about to give you some nephews and nieces and get married just like you bro!"
Despite Jamal's enthusiasm, none of it was affecting Richie. He didn't smile or show any emotion.
"Ja...mal..., Mar... kees... gave....
Tammy.....-" Richie broke into a serious coughing fit.
"Richie, don't try to speak! Relax bro!" But Richie had spoken one word too many. He coughed one more time and then the line on the monitor went flat. The machine made a noise that sounded like a microwave was finished cooking and would never cook again.
The sound of a flat line pierced the room and allowed the entry of death's grasp. His brother was gone.
"No! Nooooooo! Noooooo! Noooooo!! Richie! Richie!! Noooooo!"
Jamal could feel a piece of himself leaving his body as well. He loved his brother more than any other person in the world besides his mother, and he was gone. A portion of Jamal's soul died that day. A portion of his personality, sense of humor, logic and reasoning went through the same vortex that seized his brother's soul. Richie had been trying to tell him something, but he didn't finish.
He would never finish; his final sentence a verbal version of his incomplete life. He knew Richie loved life too much to just kill himself, so Tammy definitely had to have something to do with it. It had to be true because he also knew that Richie loved Tammy more than he loved life. Jamal stood there in a daze as the doctors pushed past him attempting to revive his beloved brother.
To no avail.
******
4 Years Later 5-19-2006 Jamal snapped the buttons as tight as he could on his jacket while he waited on the bus. It was 6 A.M. and he was trying to make it to work so he could support his wife and his son. He had been working dead end jobs for the past 2 years of his marriage. During the first 2 years, money was no problem because Mya was still a megastar.
A series of bad press, lawsuits, and bad music took her career to the graveyard. All of her fans simply shifted to the next big thing, leaving her with enormous bills that she failed to be able to cover. Jamal had chosen to honor his brother's wishes for him to get married and start a family.
The child that Jamal had with Lisa Lee was being raised by Mya and Jamal, and only knew Mya as his mother. Lisa had called Jamal after the kid was born and told him that she was going to put the infant up for adoption. Her and Jamal had gotten into a heated argument over the situation. She said that she was refusing to raise the child because he had half the blood line of a failure; and therefore she wouldn't accept responsibility when he couldn't make it in life.
Jamal exhaled and wa
tched the white cloud of condensation move through the air like smoke. The dry air was tolerable, as long as the wind didn't blow. The cold front that lay over the city had Pittsburgh feeling like the middle of winter. He rubbed his hands together, trying to warm them up. After vigorously rubbing his hands together for a minute and a half, he noticed that his hands seemed to be getting colder instead of warmer. He reluctantly reached into his pocket and grabbed his gloves.
He hated wearing gloves because it brought back memories of him taking another man's life. Jamal had strangled Markees three years ago after the rumor spread about him intentionally giving Richie's wife HIV. As a consequence, Jamal was suffering strong bouts of paranoia. The incident had been enough to scare him straight.
Had given him more than enough reason to abandon being a player and do the right thing in life. The right thing saw him go from driving a Rolls Royce to taking public transportation. The right thing saw him skipping meals to make sure his son and his wife were fed. The right thing saw him working two jobs to provide for Mya and his son, Lil Richie.
Mya had attempted to get a job, but the embarrassment and ridicule of her being a washed up pop star was too much for Jamal to accept. He hated coming home and seeing her still in her work uniform with tears flowing down her face. When he asked her to quit, she said no, so he had to force her to quit. It had been a difficult transition into the simple life, but it was a transition that Richie would have wanted Jamal to experience. He wanted Jamal to know that life wasn't a game, and he had finally figured that out.
The bus came to a halt, and the door opened, allowing a beautiful chocolate woman to get off at her destination. She smiled at him as they passed each other, and a rush of thoughts came over both of them. Him knowing what he could do to her physically, and she not knowing what he was capable of, but trying to guess. He knew that he could have her running around like she had lost her mind, but also he knew that he was in love and had a wonderful wife at home.
She sashayed away from him, giving him subtle invitations to a sinful elegance. He had not cheated on his wife, and the only thing saving that from happening was that all of the women who had been flirting with him were broke.