Broken Silence

by Jade Buchanan

  “Yeah, easy to say.” Rich shook his head.

  Matthew wasn’t going to let him get away with that. “No it isn't easy to say. I came out too, you know. It isn't easy. I'll be here for you if you need me, Rich. But, it’s not like that just fixes everything.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I don’t know what I’m saying.”

  “Are you going to leave?”

  Matthew sighed. “Maybe. I haven’t decided, yet.”

  “Please don’t go,” Rich whispered.

  “It’s not that easy, Rich.”

  “I...” Rich stood up and paced back and forth. “I should back up a bit. I wanted to show you I’m changing.”

  “You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

  “It’s for me, mostly. But, you’re the one who deserves all the credit for getting me to the place where I actually can change. Anyway, I talked to the family. Uncle Lou offered me a job as Assistant Manager at his company. I think I told you about that. It’s all canned and bottled water and soft drinks. I figured it wasn’t a good idea for me to work around alcohol right now. And a change of pace might be a good idea. Besides, Lora has that fancy degree so she should probably get a chance to put it to work.”

  “I thought she was going to work on the hotel idea.”

  “She’s still thinking about it. We need to work some numbers and see if it’s feasible first. But, Uncle Lou is considering retiring anyway. He’s the next oldest just after my dad, you know? We’re going to try it for a while.”

  “That’s a lot of change.”

  “Yeah, I know. I’m excited about it.”

  “I’m glad.” And he was. He was really glad that Rich seemed to be working on things. This had all just happened so fast. He wasn’t sure how to process it. It was almost too good to be true. Would it all stick? He didn’t know. He was afraid to hope.

  “I owe it to you.”

  “You don’t. This is all you, Rich.”

  “That’s not true and you know it. I’ve sat here for a decade and gone on the way I had been. I wouldn’t have even dared to tell my parents if you hadn’t given me the opportunity to see what was on the other side of the fence. I was scared. I’m not too much of a man to admit that. I was afraid of it all falling down around me. You don’t know what it was like for me to see how Jonah was treated. God, the way the rumors floated around after he left. I was terrified. I thought I was next.”

  Rich was right, Matthew had no idea how that felt. He ached inside for what both Jonah and Rich had gone through. He couldn’t imagine being treated that way. He also couldn’t imagine what it must have been like for Rich to see that and sit there waiting for him to be next.

  “God, you should have seen it. It was the most anti-climactic coming out in the history of come outs. My parents pretty much said they knew anyway. They weren’t even surprised. How’s that for a surprise? I didn’t know what to say to them. Completely floored me. Here I’d been expecting this huge big deal and it turned out they were just waiting for me to say something. I thought for years that my dad would be against it. He admitted that if I’d said something a decade ago he might have taken longer to be okay with it. My dad fully admitted he’s done some growing up himself in the past few years. I don’t know what caused it, but maybe it’s just a society thing. Plus, mom got him to start watching musical shows, you know?”

  Matthew had to laugh at that. “Yeah, that would do it.”

  “I told the guys, too.”

  “And?” He was curious to see how his friends had reacted.

  “Shit, they took it as an excuse to make fun of me even more. I’m glad for that. It relieved me something fierce.”

  “Okay, you’re going to have to explain that one to me. How can you be happy they’re making fun of you?”

  Rich shrugged his shoulders. “Because if it really bothered them they’d refuse to speak to me. Or they’d stop with the gay jokes. You know? The fact that nothing has changed makes me realize that they don’t see me any different. It’s a relief.”

  That actually made sense to him. He still thought they were all cracked in the head, but it made a sick sort of sense.

  “That’s great. I’m really happy for you, Rich. This could have gone so much worse, and I’m glad it didn’t.”

  “Well, it’s not perfect. I mean, as you saw downstairs, not everyone is totally behind me. But, who gives a shit about them? As long as my family and friends are okay with me, I’m okay with me.”

  Matthew was so glad for him. It really had turned out okay. He knew it could have been so much worse. One of his college friends had pretty much been kicked out of her family after coming out, the same as Jonah had been. There was no guarantee that your family would stick by you when you came out, but Rich’s family had proved they were good people by how they reacted. It was a transition for all of them.

  “My mom wants to join PFLAG now. She’s all gung-ho about it. I told her to cool her jets, but it’s kind of cool.”

  “Don’t let her talk to my mom, then. They’ll want to march in the Pride Parade together.”

  They grinned at each other. Matthew secretly loved the image, though. Maybe he’d mention it to his mom.

  “So, where does this leave us?” Rich asked. “I’m sorry for what I said. There’s no excuse, so I won’t make one. I regretted it as soon as the words left my mouth.”

  “Honestly, Rich, I’m not sure.” Well, that wasn’t true. If he was really being honest with himself, he knew exactly what he wanted.

  Rich seemed to know that as well.

  “I want you to stay.”

  “So do I.” Matthew had finally admitted it to both of them.

  “I want to find out what we can have together.”

  “Me too.”

  “I want to fuck you into the mattress.”

  Matthew laughed out loud at that. “Actually, so do I.”

  They stared at each other again. A bloom appeared on Rich’s cheeks, his blush moving up his battered face. “You want to fuck me?”

  “Only if you want me to. If you’re not comfortable with it, we’ll table it. Well, we should probably table it anyway since your poor body...”

  Matthew finally did what he’d been aching to do since he saw Rich and gently pulled the other man into his arms. “God, I’m so glad you’re okay.”

  Rich rubbed his chin on the top of Matthew’s head. “I’m so glad I’m okay. I nearly fucked everything up, Matt.”

  “You’re okay, though. Really okay?”

  “Yeah. I had a small concussion, some stitches from where the airbag beaned me in the head. A few bruises over various parts of my body. But, overall, I’m fine.”

  Matthew let out a sigh of relief. “Can I just hold you? We’re not having sex today. I’m warning you now. I just want to hold you.”

  Rich held him tight and nodded. “Yeah, we can do that.”

  They ended up curled on the sofa, with Matthew resting against Rich. It didn’t take him long to realize that while most of Rich was stiff with pain, there was a completely individual part of Rich that was stiff with something else.

  With a gentle glance at Rich, he shimmied down his body, ending up with his chin hovering over the other man’s jean covered groin. When Rich groaned, Matthew decided that was permission enough, and he became determined to unwrap his present from its denim prison.

  When he had Rich’s dick out in the open, he licked up and along the side, gratified to hear the long, heated moan from above him. Rich lowered his hand, grasping Matthew behind his head.

  Matthew lowered his head, drawing the shaft into his mouth, swirling his tongue around. Matthew reversed direction, tracing his tongue behind to coat Rich’s cock in saliva. He reached up with one hand and jerked the skin left behind. It didn’t take long before Rich moaned in pleasure, grasping Matthew’s head hard and shooting his cum into his mouth.

  When he could breathe again, he glanced up to see Rich sprawled out, snorin
g away now that his pain meds had activated. Well, that and the blowjob he’d just received. Matthew was willing to take at least some of the credit for relaxing Rich so thoroughly. He smiled and curled up beside him, ignoring his own hard cock. Later, he said to himself. They would be able to play later.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Matthew still wasn’t sure if this was a good idea or not considering what Rich had just been through, but as he stared at Rich’s nude body in the light coming in from his bedroom window, he didn’t really care. Well, he cared, but he was willing to risk it.

  “Are you sure about this?” Matthew asked again.

  “I’m positive. I want this, Matt.”

  Shit, he wasn’t sure he was going to be able to last very long this first time, but whatever. He’d die happy at least. Pulling Rich’s head down, he slid their mouths together, moaning into Rich’s lips and glorying in the freedom to be able to kiss him like this.

  Rich gasped, sliding his leaking cockhead against Matthew’s belly. Rich bucked his hips, grinding into Matthew.

  Matthew pressed him back until they were both sprawled on the bed, with Rich on his back and Matthew hovering over him. He was scared to put too much pressure on Rich’s poor body, but by the way Rich grabbed his hips and pulled him down on top of him he didn’t seem to care too much.

  His own cock was dragged against Rich’s belly now, with every jerk of Rich’s hips.

  “Shit, I want you. Please, Matthew. Fuck me.”

  “I’m not going to last if you say shit like that to me.” Matthew huffed out a laugh, unable to believe they were able to have fun in bed. He still couldn’t believe he was going to fuck Rich either.

  “Well, I’ll be demanding a do-over if you screw this up. Come early and you’ll be punished by being forced to redo your efforts.”

  Matthew had to laugh again at that. “Geez, let me think about that first.”

  “That wasn’t mean to be an incentive. Inside me. Get the lube.”

  Oh, that wasn’t the right thing to say. Matthew reared up, sliding back and pushing Rich’s thighs up and out at the same time. He didn’t even give Rich a chance to speak before he was licking along the man’s crack. He teased the puckered opening with the tip of his tongue, rasping a long swipe against the skin. Rich lurched. He tightened his grip on the man’s thighs, holding him in place.

  Narrowing his tongue, Matthew pushed it into the opening, his nose pressed to Rich’s sac.

  Rich was groaning loudly now. He obviously loved having his ass eaten. Well, they’d have to just repeat this little exercise in the future. Matthew gloried in the idea that they would be able to take the time to find out each other’s likes and dislikes now. He wouldn’t have to worry about hurried fumbles or vacations. They could spend time together, without having to worry about other people finding out.

  He stretched the hole with his tongue, loosening the muscles that were quivering in ecstasy. Slowly, he inserted the tip of one finger, feeling the heat suck him in. He wouldn’t last long inside Rich, that was for fucking sure.

  “Now, now, please, I need you now.”

  Well, at least he was sure that Rich liked it. Not everyone did, but his man was going to be a pleasure to fuck.

  Matthew gave one last swipe of his tongue, leaning back to survey Rich. He was flushed all over, his gorgeous body spread out on the bed. Eyes closed and head thrown back in ecstasy, Rich was a dream come true. Cock flushed and weeping, and Matthew had to hold himself back from just sitting on that lovely piece of meat.

  He reached for the bottle of lube Rich kept in his bedside table and slicked up Rich’s hole with first one, and then two fingers. He wanted Rich to like this. He wanted him to love this, actually.

  Grabbing his own cock in hand, Matthew panted, squeezing the base to prevent himself from coming too soon. He pulled out a condom.

  “Wait, why are we still using those?” Rich asked.

  “What?” Matthew frowned.

  “We both got tested, right? So, why are we still using them?”

  “I don’t know. It makes clean-up easier? Geez, we’ve always used them.”

  “If you want to, I’m fine with it, I just wondered.”

  No, Rich was right. They didn’t have to use it. He grinned at Rich before throwing the condom back onto the bedside table. He slicked himself with lube before pressing the sensitive head of his dick to Rich’s ass, pausing.

  “Is this what you want?”

  Rich moaned.

  “Rich, I need the words. Is this what you want?” His voice was barely recognizable; he couldn’t hold back how much he wanted this himself.

  “Yes, damn it, yes. Fuck me. Please...”

  Matthew held onto the slim hips of his mate, sliding Rich’s thighs up to either side of Matthew’s waist. This might not be the best position for Rich’s first time, but Matthew wanted to watch his face. His cock bumped against Rich’s ass, causing them both to moan.

  He pressed in, feeling the slight resistance from Rich’s tense muscles. Waiting for Rich to relax, he continued to slide in.

  Rich groaned loudly, grabbing him by his hips and practically pulling him in. Jesus, Rich was strong. And determined. And fucking hot when he did shit like that. Matthew tossed his head.

  He bottomed out inside Rich, his balls resting against Rich’s ass. Pausing, he waited for Rich to open his eyes and look at him.

  “Look at me.”

  Rich sighed, lifting his lids. His eyes were a dark smoky blue. Full of passion. And love.

  “I love you,” Matthew whispered.

  He started to slide out, gratified by the widening of Rich’s eyes. Rich cried out, his eyes rolling back in his head. His cock started to jerk, jetting cream to land on his belly, the head flushed red.

  Oh, shit. That was hot. That was nearly enough to have him spurting himself.

  Matthew rocked his hips. Leaning down, he captured Rich’s lips, crying his release into his lover’s mouth. His cock erupted, shooting into Rich.

  Matthew collapsed, catching himself on his elbows before he fell on top of Rich’s already battered body. His cock slipped out of Rich, and he fell to the side, pulling Rich with him until they both lay on their sides.

  They both panted for breath.

  Matthew snuggled up against Rich and listened to the beat of his heart. He wasn’t sure where they were going to end up, but his dad was right. When you found the right person, you wanted to make things work. That was the hard part. They’d work this out. He’d figure out where he was going to live. And he’d also figure out how to explain to everyone in Toronto that he wasn’t planning on coming back. He’d found his home and it was right here in Rich’s arms. They’d make everything work out.

  ***

  He didn’t take into account their friends, unfortunately. Or maybe it was that he’d picked the wrong way to explain to everyone in Toronto that he wasn’t planning on coming back. When he hadn’t heard back from Andrew twelve hours after leaving his message, he should have anticipated an in-person visit.

  “Hey, Lumberjack! We need to talk.” Andrew came hurtling through the door of Matheson’s Bar and Grill and looked around with a disgusted look on his face.

  Matthew stood up from where he’d been sitting with Rich and his friends at a back table. It was fairly quiet, but he was pretty sure the bar patrons weren’t ready for Andrew.

  And Nathan. Holy crap.

  Both men were decked out in skinny jeans and thick, cable knit sweaters. Nathan’s was a plain cream colour, but Andrew had on a cardigan style Cowichan sweater with two brown moose heads knit on the front. Both were also wearing tan winter boots, but only Nathan’s sported four-inch heels. What the hell? They normally did everything to dress differently. What was up with the uniform?

  “Jesus Andrew, there are like five actual lumberjacks in here,” Matthew whispered as he moved forward. This was forestry country. He didn’t have to look at Rich to imagine what his face looked like right now. Holy
crap, someone was going to get his ass kicked. What the hell was Andrew doing here?

  Andrew ignored his statement with a wave of his hand. “Lumberjack, prepare to meet your maker. We're here on Operation Rescue Matthew.”

  Nathan moved in beside Andrew. “Code name Vatican Cameo.”

  “Oi! Nathan, first rule of code names is that you don't mention the code name. You're like the shittiest spy.” Andrew shook his head.

  “He wanted to wear cammo,” Nathan said with a shudder.

  Matthew spied the T-shirt underneath the open neck of Andrew’s sweater. “He is wearing cammo.”

  “He wanted me to wear cammo.”

  “Is that why you've got khaki eye shadow?”

  Nathan tilted his head to the side. “It's got a gold sparkle to it. Did you notice?”

  “Jesus Christ.” Rich finally walked up to where they’d been talking. “What the hell are you two doing here?”

  They were joined at the door by Doobie, Marcus and Etienne. Hell, even Lora was wandering over.

  Doobie simply stared at the new arrivals, looking the two men up and down. “Holy crap, it's like Invasion of the Fags.” He elbowed Rich. “You know like Invasion of the Body Snatchers?”

  “Yeah, we got it, Doobie. And don’t say the F word.”

  Everyone took a moment to stare at Rich in shock. Wait, Rich was chastising Doobie for using a word that he used to use regularly? Matthew was so proud.

  Andrew was the first to recover. “You can snatch my body anytime, sugar.”

  “Thanks for the offer, but I like snatch. Not whatever you’re offering.” He waved his hand in the general direction of Andrew’s crotch.

  “He likes snatch, all right,” Lora snickered, leaning into Doobie after she spoke.

  “Better be a fucking joke, Lora,” Rich groused.

  Matthew arched a brow. What was up with Lora and Doobie? He wondered which one of them Rich would kill if they really were doing something. How long had that been going on?

  And speaking of going on... “What are you guys doing here?”

  “We’re here to ask you when you had a stroke. Did you go to the hospital? Did they check you for brain damage?”