In His Father's Footsteps

by Danielle Steel

  “I’m thrilled with my daughter. I’ll bring her in from the nursery,” he said, but before he did, he took a small package out of his pocket and handed it to his wife. “I hope this makes up a little for last night,” he said, feeling humble. She unwrapped a dazzling diamond bracelet from Van Cleef & Arpels. He put it on her, and it exploded with brilliant lights in the morning sun.

  “Wow!” She looked pleased and left the bracelet on for everyone to admire. “That makes it all worthwhile!” He was disappointed by her reaction, but he didn’t say it. The baby should have made it all worthwhile, and the pain of giving birth should have faded the moment she saw their child. That was what women always said, but maybe it wasn’t true. In Julie’s case, diamonds always helped. He kissed her again and left for the nursery, and came back a few minutes later with the baby sound asleep in a see-through plastic bassinet, with her name on a pink card: Hélène Françoise Stein. The baby was wrapped in a pink blanket over a pink and white nightgown, with a little pink cap to keep her head warm. She looked like a little rosebud, and Max wanted her to wake up so he could hold her.

  “She is soooo beautiful,” he said, staring at her adoringly. “She looks like you,” he said, glancing at her mother, and Julie looked pleased. She was staring at the diamond bracelet and obviously loved it. He would have bought a bigger one if he’d known how hard it would be, and he was grateful she hadn’t decided to stop at one, after last night. She’d had him worried for a minute.

  The baby finally stirred and cried, and he picked her up. She was a tiny cozy bundle, and he made an attempt to change her diaper, and a nurse came in to show him how, while Julie watched and left them to it. She had had a stream of phone calls all morning, and her mother and sisters arrived at noon to visit on their way to lunch. They all said the baby was exquisite, and listened to Julie’s horror story, while Max went out for a cup of coffee and ran into their two nannies in the hall. They had come to see their new charge, and declared her gorgeous after they’d seen her. They said Julie had asked them to come in case she needed help with the baby that afternoon, and he was startled. They had the hospital nurses for that, but it made him realize that she didn’t feel confident yet. She had admitted to him she knew nothing about babies and was afraid of doing something wrong.

  When her sisters and mother left, Max went back into Julie’s room, and the two nannies followed. They took turns holding the baby, and Max wanted to get his hands on her again. He felt like he had to stand in line. The room was suddenly crowded and he wanted to be alone with his wife and child. Finally he asked them to wait outside.

  “I thought we might need some help,” Julie said, looking embarrassed after they left.

  “I think we can figure it out. She’s pretty easy. For now, all she does is sleep, pee, and poop,” he said, smiling.

  “I’m afraid to hurt her or drop her, she’s so tiny,” Julie said.

  “She seems pretty sturdy,” Max said, and sat down next to Julie on the bed. “I’m really sorry about last night. I’m sorry it was so awful.”

  “It’s okay,” she said, looking at the bracelet that was her reward—not Hélène, who was the real prize. “I never thought it would be that bad. They say you forget in time.”

  “I hope so,” he said and kissed her. He was dying to do it again. He wanted a whole family of babies like Hélène. This was only the beginning.

  “Let’s enjoy her for a while first. It all happened so fast before.” She’d stopped taking the pill right before their wedding and two weeks later she was pregnant. The thought terrified her now. She didn’t want to get pregnant again too soon, and was thinking about taking the pill again for a while, but she didn’t say anything to him, in case he’d get upset.

  The nursery nurse took Hélène from the room to check her vital signs and their two nannies went with them, and Max lay next to Julie, thinking how blessed they were. They both dozed off for a while, and as soon as they woke up, his parents arrived with pink flowers and balloons and their gift for Hélène, and a little pink dress Emmanuelle had made in case it was a girl, with a matching coat and hat. It was lovely, and looked very French, and Julie was delighted. Max was beginning to think she liked the clothes and gifts and fuss more than the baby. They spotted the diamond bracelet on her arm, and were stunned by Max’s generosity to his wife.

  Max went to get Hélène from the nursery while they chatted with Julie, and she told them how awful the delivery had been, and he was back a minute later with the baby. They were in awe of how beautiful she was. They each held her and Emmanuelle nuzzled her neck, and admired her soft blond curls.

  “She looks a little like my sister,” she said in a hushed tone. The phone rang constantly while they were there. The two nannies came in to check on them several times, as did the nurse from the nursery, and the paternal grandparents left them in peace after half an hour. There was a lot going on. Julie was walking around the room by then, and was bouncing back quickly from her ordeal. She stopped to look at the baby in the bassinet several times and touched her cheek with one finger, and looked at her fingers and toes, but Max hadn’t seen her holding her yet. She was warming to her slowly, as the nurse had predicted the night before.

  Emmanuelle didn’t say anything until they got to the street outside the hospital, and then she looked at her husband.

  “He spends too much money on her. Did you see that bracelet? He’ll ruin her, and she’ll expect it. All right, the delivery was difficult, but they didn’t amputate her legs without anesthesia.” Jakob laughed at what she said as they headed toward the subway. “Birth is difficult, but the baby is the reward. She’s making him feel guilty.” Emmanuelle didn’t look happy about it, and Jakob didn’t disagree with her. “And why are those two nannies hanging around like vultures? They need to be alone and get to know each other with their baby. That’s why I thought we should leave.”

  “She’s young and spoiled. We knew all that before. Motherhood isn’t going to change her overnight. It will eventually, but it takes time. She’s hardly more than a child herself.”

  “A child with a very fancy diamond bracelet!” she said, and he laughed again, and they talked about how beautiful the baby was all the way downtown.

  * * *

  —

  Max drove Julie and the baby home to Greenwich the next day. The nannies were waiting for them, and took the baby to the nursery immediately, while Julie walked around the house, thrilled to have the delivery behind her, and to be back in their palatial home. Her sisters came over, and her parents, since her father hadn’t seen the baby yet, along with one of Julie’s friends. There was a constant flow of people in and out, and Max felt as though he couldn’t get a moment alone with Julie or the baby once they were home. He sat in the nursery, holding Hélène, and gave her a bottle and changed her. But there were so many people in the house interfering that it was a relief to leave for Houston three days later and get back to work. He was gone for a week, and had been to Los Angeles and Des Moines after Houston. He swore that Hélène had grown in the week he’d been away, and he was delighted to find that Julie was back to herself again. She looked as if nothing had happened. Her body had sprung back into shape almost immediately. She was working out with her trainer every day, and often drove over to swim in her parents’ pool. The minute he walked into the house, she leapt into his arms. The nanny on duty had Hélène, and Julie was free to cater to his every whim, and she did.

  “I like this,” he said. He had thought she’d be busy with the baby and have no time for him.

  “That’s why we have nannies. I’m all yours, Max,” she said in a seductive tone and he kissed her. He loved his new baby, but he loved his beautiful young wife even more. And nothing was going to interfere with that. She wouldn’t let it. Max was the priority in her life and always would be, she said. Hélène would have to wait.

  * * *

  —<
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  Max was surprised when it took Julie a lot longer to get pregnant the second time. In his fantasies, she would have a baby every year. The reality was different. She blamed it on his constant absences so they were never together at the right time for her to conceive. Then she said that her doctor wanted her on the pill for a while to regulate her periods before she got pregnant again. And Max wondered if she was actually afraid to go through another delivery. It all slowed them down, and she stayed on the pill for a year. But he was so insistent about another baby that she finally relented. Hélène was three when Julie got pregnant with their second child, and would be four when the new baby was born. Max was determined to have a son this time. And all Julie wanted was to have a Caesarean section, she started negotiating it with her doctor when she was two months pregnant. She never wanted to go through a delivery like that again, especially without an epidural. Her doctor said they’d see how things looked when she was further along, so she went shopping for an obstetrician who would promise to do it, and finally found one.

  Hélène was an adorable little girl by then. She had curly blond hair, huge blue eyes, she loved watching her mother get dressed up, and wearing pretty dresses herself. Her “Mamie Emm” as she called her, and Jakob was Opa, which was Grampa in German, made her beautiful little dresses with coats to match. People said she was the best dressed child they’d ever seen. And Mamie Emm visited her often and took the train to Greenwich to do so. She commented to Jakob when she got home that Julie was never there. She was always at a lunch, or an appointment, a fashion show, a charity event, or shopping with her sisters in the city.

  “She’s simply never around. I don’t know when Hélène ever sees her.” And Max was traveling more than ever. His empire was growing. He had added another oil well in Houston, and one in Oklahoma. He was continuing to buy land and develop it. They had written about him in Fortune magazine. He was one of the youngest, richest self-made men in the country, but there was no hiding the fact that he was never at home. Julie had gotten used to going to events without him, but she complained about it, and he tried to get back for the things that were the most important to her. But he told her he couldn’t do it all.

  Hélène was the joy of his life whenever he was in Greenwich, and he was grateful that his parents saw her often. Both of Julie’s sisters had gotten married in the last three years, and moved to California. Her father wasn’t well, so they were all busy and didn’t see Hélène as often as the Steins. They were continuing their travels and cruises, but the light of their life was their grandchild, and she adored both of them.

  They had just celebrated Hélène’s fourth birthday with a pony for the children to ride at the party, and a clown, and her little sister was born two weeks later. Her birth was much less traumatic for Julie than Hélène’s had been. She was able to orchestrate it the way she wanted. The baby was breech for the last month and they couldn’t move it, so it would have had to be a C-section anyway. It was all very civilized, and scheduled on a convenient day for Julie. She never went into labor, she opted for general anesthesia instead of an epidural, and when she woke up from surgery they told her she had a beautiful baby girl. They named her Kendra, and Max was as much in love with her as he was with Hélène. He was thirty-eight years old and said to be one of the richest self-made men in America by then. Julie was twenty-nine, and more beautiful than ever.

  She took longer to recover from Kendra’s birth since it was a Caesarean, and she wasn’t up to taking care of the baby while she recovered. But the same two nannies were still with them, and took care of both girls. And as soon as Julie was on her feet again, she was off and running. As a surprise, when the baby was four weeks old, Max took Julie on a three-week trip to Hong Kong and Japan. It was business for him, but the shopping was fabulous, and Julie had a ball. She loved being with him, instead of at home alone. He more than made up to her for the time he didn’t spend with her, with lavish gifts, his constant generosity, and his kindness to her. She was the first to admit that he was a wonderful husband.

  After they got back from their trip, Julie got busy chairing a big charity event, seeing friends, and she spent several nights a week in the city to be with Max. She even spent nights in the city when he was away, so she could go to social events without him and not have to go back to Greenwich late at night.

  Her mothering style had upset Emmanuelle for four years by then.

  “She’s never with her children, and neither is Max. I see more of them than they do.”

  “They have a much bigger life than we did,” Jakob reminded her, always willing to make excuses for those he loved. “He’s a very successful man with business all over the world. You can’t expect him to be at home all the time with his kids.”

  “I understand that,” Emmanuelle said reasonably, “but what is she doing? She doesn’t have a job or a business. I go out there all the time, and she’s never there. They’re lucky they have such good children.” Hélène was adorable, and Kendra looked like a baby in a magazine ad and was picture perfect.

  “We’re lucky too,” he said, calming her down, but it disturbed Emmanuelle to see her grandchildren essentially ignored and neglected, except for their nannies. And she had come to realize how important they were, and how loving to the children. The two girls didn’t lack for attention, what they lacked were parents who spent time with them. Julie treated them like accessories, like handbags she’d pulled out of the closet, forgotten about, and decided to wear from time to time. She loved showing them off when they had guests at the house, but Emmanuelle never saw her play with them, or read them a story. Julie was exactly what they had feared from the beginning, a very beautiful, very spoiled young woman, whom their son indulged, and she thought of no one but herself. She was a showpiece, but not a mother. Max was still crazy about her, five years after he’d married her. He wasn’t home enough to see how little time she spent with their children. The nannies knew and tried to compensate for it, and so did Emmanuelle, but no one could replace a mother and father. And her grandchildren had the attention of neither one.

  * * *

  —

  When Hélène was seven and a half, and Kendra three and a half, their mother made an unpleasant discovery. It was an accident this time, although she had been promising Max for two years to have another baby, but she could never bring herself to do it. She liked her life the way it was. She was thirty-two years old, Max was forty-one and at the peak of his career and still climbing, but she was always alone, and had learned to fend for herself socially. She didn’t want another baby with a constantly absent husband, and had told him so. But somehow it had happened, and she discovered she was pregnant. The girls would be four and eight when the baby was born. And she waited for Max to come home from a trip to tell him. She needed time to get used to the idea herself. And predictably, he was thrilled. It was everything he wanted. He was still hoping for a boy, and dreamed of a house full of children, which was becoming less and less likely, given how hard he worked. Julie loved her husband, but their life was different from what he had promised. She was tired of being a solo act, and three kids seemed like a lot to her. She said as much to him when she told him she was pregnant.

  He promised he would slow down, that he’d spend more time with her and the girls, and she knew that he meant it when he said it, but it was a promise he would never keep. There was always some crisis happening somewhere in the world that he had to fly off to take care of, to save a deal, or a company, or some part of his business. It was who he was. And as much as she hated his being away all the time, she loved the perks and benefits of his success. She had everything she wanted, except her husband at her side.

  * * *

  —

  The pregnancy with their third child seemed interminable. She was sicker than she’d been with Kendra, and she hadn’t been sick with Hélène at all. This time it was different, and Max was sure it wa
s because it was a boy. She had the option of a C-section because she’d had one before. She could have had a vaginal delivery but was adamant she didn’t want one, or to go through that again. She scheduled the Caesarean a week before her due date. That way she could be sure that Max would be there. And maybe if they had a boy this time, it would be different. Maybe he would want to be at home more. Since Kendra’s birth, she had realized that mothering was not her strong suit. She never knew what to do with her children, or what to say to them. She was a better wife than mother and always had been. And she didn’t get a chance to be much of a wife to Max anymore. He was never there.

  She hired two more nannies right before the baby came, a full-time one and a relief, so there would be two nannies with the three children at all times.

  Everything went according to schedule. Except Max, and the baby. Max had promised to be home the day before her scheduled C-section. He was in Houston for an oil deal, and going on to New Mexico and Arizona for a series of land development deals, when she took an aerobics class with a friend and her water broke at midnight a week before. She was in Greenwich, and didn’t know what to do. One of the nannies drove her into the city, to the hospital. She didn’t want to go into labor again. She called Max before she left the house and told him what had happened, and asked him to come home right away.

  “Baby, it’s ten o’clock at night here. I’m in some shit town in Texas miles from an airport. I’ll get there as soon as I can. Try to hang in. Don’t let them do anything till I’m there.” And when she got to the hospital, the doctor wanted to wait anyway. She wasn’t in labor yet, and he said they could wait twenty-four hours before they did a C-section. But an hour later, she was in labor with the contractions tearing through her.