The Cowboy, The Cheat, His Ex-Wife & Her Vibrator

by C. C. Coburn

  “H… how?” Beth chattered through her teeth and snuggled deeper against Gabe’s chest. He smelled so good! Felt even better. This was heaven, surely?

  “Squeaky floorboard in the hallway. I keep meaning to fix it but as I don’t usually have women sneaking up my hallway at night, I forgot about it until now.”

  Beth swallowed. He knew exactly how long she’d been standing there staring at him, fantasizing about him. What must he think of her? She wanted to curl up and die of embarrassment.

  “You’ve gone uncharacteristically silent, darlin’,” he pointed out.

  “Just trying to get warm,” she mumbled against his chest.

  “Why didn’t you come in?”

  “I… was sleepwalking, remember? I woke up and… ah… wasn’t sure where I was and so I was thinking about what to do about it.”

  “You often sleepwalk?”

  Beth could hear the amusement in his voice.

  “Don’t.” She struggled up from beneath the covers and looked into his eyes. “Don’t tease me. You know what I was doing there. Please don’t tease me about it,” she said, fighting the tears welling behind her eyes. She’d made a complete fool of herself. How could she ever have imagined this man would desire her? She closed her eyes and bit her lip against the pain of that realization.

  And then she felt his hand cupping her cheek. “Look at me, Beth,” he commanded softly.

  Beth reluctantly opened her eyes, positive he’d detect the loathing she felt for herself in them. The bitter tears of self–pity.

  “That’s better,” he said, his voice warm like honey. “Did you know that when you’re upset, your eyes are the most intense blue?”

  Beth could only shake her head. Surely he was making this up?

  “And as much as I love that beautiful color, I don’t want you to be upset. I’m flattered that you’d come to my room, but I’m intrigued about why you’d stand in my doorway for so long. Most women would stride right in and climb under the covers. And I suspect the Beth I met last Friday night in Denver sure would’ve.”

  Beth groaned inwardly at the memory of her behavior last week and shifted a little away from him. Lying on her side facing Gabe, she clasped her hands under her head, prayer–like and said, “But I’m not like most women,” she said, not wanting to be reminded of her boldness. Her behavior that night had been an aberration.

  “Indeed, you’re not like most women,” he agreed and let his hand trail from Beth’s cheek down her throat and over the curve of her shoulder.

  Heat suffused her. Maybe she wasn’t quite so different from any other woman, given how her body was reacting to Gabe’s touch. His hand continued its downward journey, stroking over the outside curve of her breast.

  Beth gasped as her nipples tightened almost painfully, willing him to touch her there, but instead his hand continued down over her waist and up to the curve of her hip and paused.

  All the while, Gabe’s eyes never left hers as though he was gauging her reaction to his touch by the dilation of her pupils, the tiny catch in her breath as his hand continued down over her thighs and came to rest at the back of her knee.

  Moistness flooded Beth’s womanly places. She was ready for this man like no other before him, but she wasn’t sure what the next step was. Should she touch him in the same way?

  I’ve never been made love to before, Beth realized with a sudden jolt. Sex with JJ had always been abrupt, almost impersonal. She’d got used to using a lubricant because he never waited until she was ready. She’d never even experienced an orgasm until a week ago—and then she’d been fully clothed.

  Beth bit her lip and frowned. She was so naïve. A thirty–nine–year–old woman with four kids and she had no idea how to go about making love! Really making love with a man.

  Gabe moved his hand from where he’d been stroking behind her knee and instead stroked the crease between her brows. “You’re upset again. Do you want to talk about it?”

  Beth shook her head. “I’m too embarrassed.”

  He stroked her cheek. “Don’t be, we checked our inhibitions at the door, okay? You can tell me anything and I won’t laugh at you, and I promise I won’t sell your story to the National Inquirer, okay?”

  “You laughed at me about the sleepwalking,” she reminded him.

  “I didn’t laugh, I smiled a bit. I’m allowed to smile.”

  He offered her one of his drop dead beautiful smiles just then and Beth’s heart melted. And then her body melted as his hand repeated its journey down her body again, but this time it paused at her breast and cupped it as though feeling its weight. His thumb brushed back and forth over her nipple causing Beth to catch her breath at the wonder and the pleasure of his touch.

  And then he did something totally astonishing as he bent his head, nuzzled the fabric of her nightgown aside and covered her nipple with his mouth.

  “Oh, God!” she gasped and Gabe lifted his head to stare into her eyes.

  “My name’s Gabe,” he pointed out with a grin, then returned to his task, laving first one breast and then rolling her to her back so he could gain access to its twin.

  Beth was almost mindless with pleasure. She wanted to touch Gabe, taste him too, but she wasn’t sure what would please him, what would repulse him. Damn JJ for his take charge attitude with their so–called lovemaking. Always it had been, Do this, do that! No! Don’t touch me like that! Move over here! Stay still! Stay still, I said! Followed by a thankfully short amount of pumping in and out before JJ would moan then collapse exhausted beside her, leaving Beth bewildered and frustrated.

  “You’ve shut down on me, sweetheart,” Gabe murmured against her breast. He moved up to look into her eyes. “What’s wrong? Am I hurting you?”

  Beth could only shake her head. How could she have let thoughts of JJ intrude on such a perfect moment with such a wonderful man?

  She rolled to face him, placing her hand on his cheek, savoring the warmth, his strength as he clenched his jaw. “No, everything you do to me is wonderful. It’s just…” she dropped her head to hide the embarrassment she felt.

  Gabe hooked a finger under her chin, bringing her gaze back to his. “It’s just what?”

  “I… feel things for you I’ve never felt before. It frightens me,” she confessed.

  “I scare you?”

  She placed her hand against his chest. “No. I’m not afraid of you. I’m just…” She fought to find the words to explain herself more clearly. “I’m afraid of making a fool of myself. Of being laughed at.”

  “Why would I laugh at you?”

  Seeing the confusion in his eyes, she tried to explain herself better.

  “I feel things for you I’ve never felt before, Gabe. I want to do things to you I’ve never wanted to do to anyone else before. I want to tell you how I feel, but I’m terrified that opening myself up to you will make me vulnerable.”

  “Oh, hell!” Beth rolled onto her back and covered her face, feeling it burn with embarrassment beneath her fingers. Tears pricked at her eyes.

  There was a long silence and Beth imagined Gabe trying to suppress a smile. She didn’t want him smiling right now and would die if he laughed at her stupid confession.

  Then she felt him pull her closer to his warm, hard body, wrap his arms around her, kiss her forehead.

  “Falling in love’s scary, isn’t it, darlin’?”

  Of all the things she’d expected Gabe to say, this wasn’t one of them.

  Her breath caught on a sob. He’d guessed she was falling in love with him. The one thing she’d sworn she’d never do again and she’d let it happen. She was so determined to be strong, to be impervious to love. Love was reserved for stronger women than her. Women who wouldn’t hurt so bad when things turned sour.

  She made one last valiant effort to deny she was falling for him. “I’m not falling in love. I never felt this way with JJ.” Which to her ears, now she’d articulated it, sounded so naïve.

  “Maybe you n
ever were in love with him, have you considered that?”

  “I’m not stupid enough to marry someone I didn’t love!” Beth could feel her outrage and she welcomed it. It made her seem stronger, less susceptible.

  “No–one ever said you were stupid, Beth. Least of all, me.” He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. “I’m sorry. Maybe I’ve been reading too much into things. I thought my feelings for you were reciprocated.”

  It took Beth a few long moments to figure out what he was saying, but before she could react, Gabe sat up and turned, placing his feet on the floor.

  “I’ll go sleep on the couch,” he said. “Goodnight.”

  He started to stand up but Beth grabbed his arm and drew him back down to the mattress.

  “Are you saying that you’re… falling in love with me?” she asked, needing to know, dreading his answer in case she’d misunderstood him.

  He turned towards her. “Not falling. Fallen. I told you that the other night. My feelings for you haven’t changed since, but I thought… your feelings for me had. That you’d moved beyond lust to something more tangible, more lasting.”

  “You’re scaring me, Gabe. I don’t want to love you.”

  “And yet, I think you do.”

  “And if I don’t?”

  “Then we need to put a halt to this right now. You say you’re afraid of being hurt. That works both ways, Beth.” He turned away and went to stand up again.

  Beth couldn’t let him go like this. Let things end without a resolution. Gabe meant to much to her for that to happen.

  “If I tell you something, do you promise not to laugh at me?” she blurted, needing to keep him there. Dreading him getting up and walking out of the room. Because some niggling gremlin told her that if he did, he’d never come back.

  He sat back down and turned to her. “I’ve moved way beyond thinking any of this is funny. What is it?”

  He looked so grave, almost forbidding, in the cold moonlight.

  Beth’s her heart pounded, her throat felt dry. “You said we checked our inhibitions at the door?”

  Gabe nodded, his face creased with sincerity.

  Beth took a deep breath to give her courage. “I don’t how to make love to a man,” she confessed then waited, studying Gabe’s face in the firelight.

  Only she didn’t get much chance to study it in the firelight because Gabe sat up abruptly and flicked on his bedside lamp, flooding the room with artificial light and highlighting the deep frown lines now creasing his brow. “You are Beth Harman aren’t you?” he demanded.

  “Yes, of course I am.” Beth sat up so that he couldn’t glare down at her so threateningly. Now he was glaring at her more at eye level. “Why did you turn on the light?”

  “So I could check it wasn’t some stranger in my bed. You are the Beth Harman with four kids sleeping down the hallway?”

  Beth nodded.

  “And you did give birth to those kids? You didn’t adopt them… or steal them or anything?”

  “No! Of course not! What’s this all about?”

  Gabe shook his head. “You are a thirty–nine–year–old–woman who has given birth to four children, who were presumably not conceived by artificial insemination… and you don’t know how to make love to a man?”

  Beth could see how ridiculous it all sounded when he put it like that. But it was the truth and God help her, she’d embarrassed herself enough with her confession, there was no way she was going to back down now. She shrugged. “That about sums it up.”

  Gabe rested his elbows on his drawn–up knees and drove his fingers into his hair. He sat like that for a very long time. Beth wasn’t sure if that was her cue to leave. Maybe it was. She lifted the covers and spun her feet around to touch the floor, but Gabe was too fast for her. His arm snaked out, caught her around the waist and drew her back to him. She could feel his heart beating fast and strong against her back while his hand rested over her heart. A heart that was pounding so much faster than his.

  “Give me a moment to get a handle on this,” he murmured against her hair.

  Beth was incapable of speech. She gave a tiny nod of assent and waited. “Your heart is starting to beat faster. Why?” he demanded gently.

  Beth’s heart was nearly bursting out of her chest. The sensation was suffocating and terrifying. She knew she was being irrational but, at this moment, all she felt was bone deep fear. “I’m afraid of what you’ll think of me. That was such a huge confession. You have no idea.”

  “Take a deep breath, sweetheart,” he urged. “Your heart is like a jackhammer.”

  Beth forced herself to take deep slow breaths then asked, “Are you angry with me?”

  “I have no idea why you’d think that, but no, I’m not angry, just surprised. Although why I should be surprised about anything you’d come out with is beyond me.”

  Beth could hear the smile in his voice. “You promised you wouldn’t laugh at me.”

  “I’m not. I’m thinking about what a wonderful, surprising, impetuous, intriguing, infuriating, unpredictable and incredibly beautiful woman you are.”

  Beth felt him lift her hair and press his lips against the back of her neck. Her heartbeat kicked up a notch again but this time it felt good, not like she was going to suffocate.

  She turned slightly towards him. “You… think I’m beautiful?”

  He nodded. “More beautiful in this moment than I’ve ever seen you before.”

  Beth smiled tentatively and shrugged. “I guess it must be the firelight.”

  “Okay, that’s enough!” Gabe growled and spun her round to face him fully. “No more with the Let’s Beat Up On Beth attitude, okay?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I mean this always putting yourself down. Not feeling you’re good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough. What is it, Beth? Why do you do this? I pay you a genuine compliment and then you go and spoil it by saying that it must be the firelight that makes you look good. I tell you I think your paintings show real talent and potential and you shrug them off as a hobby. I tell you what a great mother you are and you explain it away as just being lucky enough to have good kids. Why the hell can’t you just accept a compliment, take pleasure in whatever you’ve achieved and say a gracious thank–you? Why is it that you don’t think anything about you is good enough?” he demanded.

  Beth wasn’t ready to confront any of her shortcomings and especially not with Gabe.

  “I’m waiting,” Gabe told her, “and I’m not going anywhere until I get an explanation.”

  Beth looked at her hands locked so tightly together in her lap and bit her lip. Gabe’s demand of an explanation was too much for her to handle right now. She’d made a huge mistake coming here especially when her emotions were so raw. Raw, because she feared for her children’s safety and didn’t know where to turn, and because in spite of all her best efforts to the contrary and her denials—she was falling in love with Gabe.

  Acknowledging this was a pivotal moment for her, either she continued to allow her anger towards JJ—and herself—for letting him push her to this point to interfere in her future happiness, or she let go of JJ and the bitterness she was holding so tightly wound inside, and admitted her true feelings for Gabe and took a chance on moving forward into a new relationship with him.

  The thought of losing Gabe if she wasn’t willing to open herself to love was far worse than tackling anything else life could throw at her. Her throat closed with fear at the thought of never seeing him again. She could barely breathe, the feeling was so intense, so frightening.

  A single tear escaped and ran down her cheek and dropped onto her tightly clasped hands, followed by a sob that shook her whole body.

  “Oh, sweetheart,” Gabe murmured and gathered her to him, surrounding her with his warmth. “Don’t cry. I didn’t mean to push you.”

  Beth was determined not to shed another tear and bit down on her lip so hard she could taste blood. But it was to no avail;
within moments, tears were coursing freely down her cheeks. It was as though the control over her emotions she’d fought so hard to contain had opened like a floodgate on a dam and there was no stopping the waterworks. Beth was mortified, but powerless to stem the flow. She wasn’t a crier. She hadn’t had a good cry since JJ had left. But at least then she’d been alone in her room without any witnesses to her devastation. Still, in spite of the humiliation of breaking down in front of Gabe, it felt good to have his strong arms around her, to have him rock her like a child and stroke her hair and murmur that it was okay and to cry as long as she wanted. Which was a good thing, because Beth had no way of stemming the flood of tears and pent–up emotions flowing out of her body.

  And while Gabe held her, offered her tissues, stroked her back and made soothing noises, Beth fell in love with him.

  Long minutes passed before she could get herself under control, before all the emotions and anger and unhappiness were spent. She gave a final blow of her nose and looked up at Gabe. “Guess I don’t look so beautiful now, huh?”

  Gabe smiled, caught her head in his big hands and drew her towards him and kissed her so tenderly she nearly started crying all over again.

  “That bastard really did a number on you, didn’t he?”

  Beth nodded and Gabe clasped her hands in his and brought them to his lips.

  Cradled within the comforting warmth of his thighs, the emotional draining Beth had experienced only moments earlier was gradually replaced with anticipation. Gabe’s lips were warm and moist against her hands. He turned them gently and placed a kiss against each of her wrists, sending Beth’s pulse soaring.

  Gabe smiled against her pulse point and licked the inside of her wrists, right over the tiny blue veins causing her blood to pound in her veins. “You like that, don’t you?” he teased.

  “You’re so incredibly perceptive,” she teased back.

  He looked up at her and her heart literally turned over. How could she have denied she loved this man?

  “Welcome back, Beth. I was worried I’d lost you for a while there.”

  “I was so scared I’d lose you.”