After the Flag Has Been Folded
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SONS AND DAUGHTERS IN TOUCH is a national organization designed to provide support to the adult children of American servicemen killed or missing in action as a result of the Vietnam War. For more information about SDIT, please call (800) 984–9994 or log on to the website at www.sdit.org
THE VIRTUAL WALL® VIETNAM VETERANS MEMORIAL contains personal remembrances of letters, photographs, poetry, and citations honoring those women and men named on the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C. For more information contact The Virtual Wall at www.virtualwall.org or by e-mail at The VirtualWall@FrontierNet.net
VIETNAM VETERANS OF AMERICA, INC. is dedicated exclusively to serving Vietnam-era veterans and their families. VVA relies totally on private contributions, which are tax-deductible to the donor. For more information, contact VVA at 8605 Cameron Street, Suite 400 Silver Spring, Maryland 20910–3710, by phone at (301) 585–4000, or on the web at www.vva.org
author’s note and acknowledgments
During the summer of 1966, I spent a good deal of time in a Tennessee holler at Aunt Cil’s. Her house is gone now, but the barn where my cousin Lon used to slop the pigs is still standing. It’s weathered quite a bit, just like me. But up around the bend is the church where Aunt Cil used to sing praise songs to the God she loved so well.
I recently returned to that church graveyard. I plucked a handful of wild roses growing beneath the church’s stained-glass window and carried those flowers to the spot where Aunt Cil rests. A faded certificate marked her burial spot. At the time of Cil’s death, Mama could not afford to buy her beloved aunt a headstone.
The tears of heaven’s children fell, soaking the ground that covered Cil’s body. Oh, how I loved her body! Round and soft and always eager to comfort worn-out souls. I wanted to curl up beside Cil and feel her warmth one last time.
But the ground has grown cold and Cil has long been dead. I knelt down and muttered a prayer, and thanked Cil for all those afternoons she spent telling me stories.
Then, I drove to a monument company in Rogersville and bought my great-aunt a headstone. A pink marble slab. Cil loved all things pink. On it I had inscribed a favorite quote—Words rise up out of the country—because Cil was the first to tell me the stories of Jesus, of Mama, and of our people.
In 1966, I was too young to realize what precious treasures stories are. But after I had a family of my own, I began to hunger for tales of my dead daddy and my lonesome mama.
In 1996, I began searching for the men who served with Daddy in Vietnam, and prodding Mama to release the memories she grasped ever so tightly. This story could not have been told without her cooperation. She wasn’t always a willing participant, but she was always honest. Thank you, Mama.
The names of two families have been changed in this book–that of my high school boyfriend, who for obvious reasons I didn’t want to track down. And the family of the sergeant, who had been my father’s best bud and may have contributed to his death, declined to participate in the story.
Mama’s honest ways taught me not to rely on my memories alone. Trauma eats at a person’s mind, creating gaps. Details are often hard to recall. When mine were in dispute, I turned to family and friends for help. My thanks to Frank Spears, Linda Spears Barnes; Mary Sue Spears; Delmer Floyd; Hugh and Nina and Joel Spears; James Spears; Linda Mayes; Dode and Betty Price; Lynn Wilkes; Karen Mendenhall; Steve Smith; and Pastor Smitty and Betty.
I owe a big hug to the men of Battery B, 2/9th Artillery, 3rd Brigade, 25th Infantry Division. A special thanks to Captain John Osborne; Doug Johnson; Pablo Gallegos; Gary Smith; Gary Catlett; John Nash; and Andrew Melick. Thank you for the ways in which you continue to honor my father with your stories.
I relied heavily on the expertise of people ohsomuch smarter than me. Joe Galloway, your book served as a compass, pointing me to the place where Daddy served and died. Thanks for your gracious mentorship and big ol’ Texas heart. Bob Welch, thanks for clearing the path for me. Doug Bates, thanks for being the first to see the value of this tale and for introducing me to David Kelly, who enabled me to get it down on paper.
Senator Gordon Smith, Pauline Laurent, Patty Lee, and Jeanette Chervony helped me obtain my father’s military records; thank you. Jeanette also spent countless unpaid hours maintaining the Hero Mama website. Thank you, Jeanette, for all you do on behalf of our fathers. And to all my brothers and sisters at Sons and Daughters in Touch; the faithful volunteers at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial; Diane Carlson Evans; Xuan Nguyen; the Virtual Wall crew; my pals at Vietnam Veterans of America, VietNow, and Run for the Wall; and veterans the world over, thanks for sharing your stories and indulging mine.
To those who blanketed me with prayers, fed me, and gave me shelter, my deepest appreciation: Ed and Connie Henricks; Hunter Mendenhall; Ken and Sherri Callaway; Philip and Karen Clark; Norman and Rhonda Waller. And to my long-suffering beau, Tim, and our brood, Stephan, Ashley, Shelby, and Konnie—you all do me proud every day.
Thanks also to Cathy Fussell, director of the Columbus State University Carson McCullers Center, for inviting me to be the first writer in residence and making me feel right at home while hard at work. Thanks also to the helpful assistance provided by CSU archivist Reagan Grimsley, and those ever-helpful librarians at W. C. Bradley Memorial Library in Columbus, Georgia, and the Kingsport Public Library in Kingsport, Tennessee.
My agent, Carole Bidnick, and my editor, Henry Ferris, understood from the get-go that this story was more than just a personal memoir; it’s a reflection of families torn asunder by war. Thank you, Carole and Henry, for gracing this story with your earnest devotion and uncompromising professionalism. You’ve done Mama and Daddy proud.
I share this story in hopes that all people, but in particular our nation’s leaders, will carefully consider how one soldier’s tragic death can alter a family’s destiny for all time.
It was Daddy and Mama who taught me that bravery isn’t the absence of fear but the ability to press on in spite of it. So remember, y’all, be strong and of good courage, always.
About the Author
Journalist KAREN SPEARS ZACHARIAS’s commentary has appeared in the New York Times, Newsweek, and on National Public Radio’s Morning Edition and All Things Considered. She’s a popular speaker at universities; civic, literary, and veterans events; and a vocal advocate for our nation’s military families. Karen serves on the national advisory board for the Vietnam Women’s Memorial, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Center, and the Virtual Wall. She lives in Oregon and Georgia. You can contact her at www.heromama.org.
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Copyright
AFTER THE FLAG HAS BEEN FOLDED. Copyright © 2005 by Karen Spears Zacharias. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
Adobe Digital Edition July 2009 ISBN 978-0-06-196445-9
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