Maybe Baby

by E. E. Burke

  She mentally reviewed her list and checked off Intelligence.

  “Was it something I said?”

  “What?”

  His blue eyes gleamed with amusement. The gene for brown eyes was dominant, but if she got lucky... “Am I boring you? Your mind wandered off.”

  “A woman’s mind never wanders off. It just gets busy with multiple things.”

  “Men don’t do that. We stay focused.”

  “You can’t do that. There’s a difference.”

  “Who says we can’t juggle?” He picked up the plastic fork, spoon and knife. “Want a demonstration?”

  “Maybe some other time.” Her mind was multitasking just fine, but the interview had wandered off topic. Despite enjoying the lighthearted banter, she wasn’t on a date, and it was time to stop acting like she was smitten.

  Before asking him to submit to a blood test, she wanted to know more about his family. “You mentioned your grandmother, how old is she?”

  “Eighty-two this month.”

  “Is she in good health?”

  He released a dry laugh. “Miss Kate can run circles around us. If something needs to be done, she does it. She’s four foot eleven, and a hundred pounds dripping wet, tougher than a Texas Longhorn and just as mean when she’s riled.”

  “She sounds ferocious.”

  Logan grinned. “You remind me of her.”

  “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”

  “ ’Course it is. She’s great. You’d like her.”

  Had any other man compared her to his grandmother, she would’ve been ready to leave. But coming from Logan, who obviously adored his family, it didn’t seem particularly odd, or insulting.

  “I’m sure I would like her,” Jen acknowledged. “What about your father? Is he just as tough?”

  “Tougher.”

  “And your mother?”

  Logan’s amused smile faded. “She died five years back. After fighting cancer for over a year.”

  All it took was one look at the grief on his face to know how much his mother had meant to him. Jen ached for his loss. Her problems with her parents seemed, in contrast, insignificant. At least she had both parents. “I’m sorry. It must’ve been hard losing your mother like that.”

  “It was...still is.”

  “Has anyone else in your immediate family had cancer?” Genetics often played a role.

  He shook his head with a perplexed frown. “No other women in her family died from breast cancer, far are we know. Her folks are pushing ninety and still going strong. Her grandparents lived a long time too. Dad said he couldn’t remember Mom being sick before the cancer got her.”

  Jen recalled he’d talked only about his other grandmother. “What happened to your grandfather? The one you call Pops.”

  Logan rubbed the back of his neck and frowned. “We lost him ten years ago.”

  “Heart attack?” That would be her guess.

  “No, he was healthy as a horse. A drunk ran into his pickup head-on.”

  Jen covered her mouth, stifling a gasp. “Oh no, how awful...” She struggled to find the right words. There were no right words. Nothing was adequate.

  Logan peered out the window into the darkness. He might be uncomfortable with articulating deep emotions. So was she, and it was fine if he didn’t want to go there. She didn’t need to delve into his soul to decide whether he’d be an acceptable donor.

  After a moment, he brought his attention back to her. “Tell me about your family.”

  Her family? That topic wasn’t going to make the conversation lighter. Still, he had the right to ask questions, considering the grilling she was giving him.

  “I didn’t know my grandparents well. My dad’s parents were gone before I was born. My maternal grandmother lived the longest. She was eighty-two when she died. But she lived in a retirement home in Florida, and I didn’t see her often.”

  “What about your parents?”

  “Mom’s retired and living in Hawaii. Dad stays as far away from her as possible. He has a place in New York.” Jen couldn’t see a reason for going into any more detail than that. She wasn’t here to talk about her relationship with her parents, a topic generally off-limits with friends, much less someone who was still pretty much a stranger.

  “Any brothers or sisters?”

  She didn’t like the spotlight, but she couldn’t fault him for showing an interest in her. Her last date had talked endlessly without much prompting. “I’m an only child.”

  Logan regarded her with a sympathetic look. He projected his perspective onto her life, assuming she’d missed out on what he valued—a big, close family. She could hardly miss something she’d never had. She was a little jealous though.

  Uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation, Jen flipped it back on him. “I’ve lived a boring life. I’m sure you have fascinating stories.”

  He gave a laugh. “Fascinating? That’s assuming a lot.”

  She didn’t think so. Not with his good looks and that country-boy charm. He could have any woman he wanted. Taking another sip of beer, she pondered how to discover another important fact. Was he sexually active? If he slept around, he was more likely to carry venereal disease. “What about your...relationships? Have you had many?”

  Surprise flashed across his face, followed by momentary confusion, then a pleased smile played around his mouth. He wasn’t one of those pokerfaced cowboys. Then again, he didn’t seem to care that she could read his emotions. “Why do you want to know?”

  Jen was glad she’d shed her coat, as hot as it was in here. She’d never chased a guy, much less probed into his love life, but she couldn’t explain her interest without spilling the beans, which she wasn’t ready to do. “Just curious,” she muttered.

  His smile turned wry. “You want names and dates?”

  She gasped at the unexpected quip. Liquid trickled down her windpipe, and she burst out coughing. Logan handed her a paper towel. When she couldn’t stop hacking, he got up and went to the counter to ask for a glass of water.

  He would list his conquests? He had to be joking. Even if he wasn’t, she had no desire to know personal details.

  “Here, drink this.” He stood beside her until she’d gotten her breath. Maybe he thought she’d need CPR. Attentive and considerate—whether simply a reflection of good manners or true compassion, both were appreciated. A pity those traits weren’t inherited. When she first met him, she was tempted to write him off as nothing more than a good-looking cowboy. But Logan was more than that. Far more. He was what they would’ve called a gentleman in the old days. She knew men with more impressive resumes, but she liked none of them half as much as she liked Logan. She decided then and there that liking the donor would be added to her list of requirements.

  She waved Logan back to his seat. “I’m fine. Just a tickle,” she rasped.

  Her watch vibrated. She checked the readout before turning off the notification. Darn. She’d forgotten to chart her basal body temperature this morning.

  “Something important you need to do?”

  Not choke to death?

  Still struggling to stop coughing, she shook her head. “It’s my...ovulation tracking... notification.”

  Glancing up and seeing his perplexed frown, she realized her blunder and formulated a quick explanation. “This new smart watch is designed especially for women with lots of useful apps.” She blathered on, hoping to distract him with talk about her job. “I’m testing the beta model, the company is one of our agency accounts.”

  “That’s impressive. What else does it do? Notify you when you ought to have sex?”

  His quick mind had latched onto the implications, which meant he could easily figure out why she might be tracking ovulation.

  Shaken, but not about to show it, she kept her tone businesslike. “Actually, yes. It involves a number of factors that get recorded, and are taken into account in the calculations. The app issues a notification when there’s a window o
f opportunity for conceiving.”

  “Is the window open?” he asked without blinking an eye.

  Oh, but she’d stepped in it this time.

  Bits and pieces of other conversations drifted over—sports talk, fishing, Little League, a favorite movie—nothing as interesting as what they were discussing. God, she hoped the people around them weren’t eavesdropping.

  Logan didn’t believe her, or he thought she was wacky. Everything she’d told him was the gospel truth. She’d just left out the part about her personal interest. Seemed a little early to be approaching him about being a donor.

  Then again, with a donor identified, she could be pregnant by the time the new application launched. She still needed more facts about Logan’s background and his physical condition. But she couldn’t get that information without asking, and what was the point in pursuing it if he wasn’t interested?

  “I offered to test it because I’m planning to have a baby—by artificial insemination.”

  No laughter. No wry smile. No look of disbelief. Before, he’d been pretty easy to read; but now, when it mattered most, he gave her no reaction, thoroughly hiding his thoughts.

  His gaze dropped to her half-finished sandwich. “You’ll need to eat more.”

  Of all the things she expected him to say, a remark on her eating habits wasn’t one of them. “Of course. I know that. I’m not very hungry at the moment.”

  She leaned forward, keeping her voice low enough so as not to be overheard by the people around them. “There’s only one problem...I need a donor.”

  Chapter 3

  “She wants me to donate my sperm!” Logan whisper-shouted into the cell phone. He didn’t want to wake Troy and Celeste, who were in the bedroom next door.

  His brother howled.

  “It’s not that funny.” Logan started across the guest room, which was twice the size of his bedroom at home with twice the furniture. He caught his shin on the corner of the bed frame, swore at the sharp pain, and hopped around the bench pushed up to the end of the bed. He then dodged an armchair and limped to the paned window.

  He could see over the bushes he’d trimmed to the house next door—Jen’s ivy-covered castle. Did she plan on filling it with children? She didn’t seem the Mother Hubbard type. In some ways, she fit the image that Troy had painted—cool, poised, aloof. She worked hard at hiding her vulnerability, but it was there, lurking in those big brown eyes.

  “Tell me about the date,” Huston urged.

  “Not much to tell. We went to a barbeque joint. Ate. Talked.” Logan scratched his head. He couldn’t figure her out. The way she looked at him, like she was hungry for something. Not sex, exactly. He’d seen that look many times and could recognize lust. No. Jen’s need went deeper. So why wouldn’t she be looking for a relationship before having a baby?

  “How did she lead up to the big question?”

  “She told me about her ovulation app.”

  “Her what?”

  “She tracks her ovulation on a smart watch.”

  Static noise came from the other end of the line—or was it snickering? “Sounds like an interesting conversation.”

  With a sigh, Logan leaned his arm up against the window frame. “It was.”

  Light spilled from the back of Jen’s house onto the brick patio and her dog darted outside. Not long after, Jen came into view as she crossed the patio and ran into the yard, wearing what looked like a baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants. She had her hair pulled back in a ponytail and still looked cute as a doodlebug.

  Freckles jumped as she lifted something in air. They played tug-of-war with what looked like a carcass, but was probably just a stuffed toy. Her gleeful laughter drifted upward and made him long to go down there and join her.

  Logan turned away from the window. She wouldn’t appreciate him butting in on her private time, and she’d think he was a weirdo if she caught him spying on her. “She asked a bunch of questions. I thought she was interested.”

  “She is interested—in your sperm.” His brother snort-laughed.

  “Honest to God, I’m hangin’ up if you don’t stop,” Logan threatened. He ought to know better than to call Huston to talk about this. His brother couldn’t have a serious conversation with an undertaker.

  Who else would he call though? Huston was his closest sibling, more than that, his best friend. Only thirteen months apart, they’d been inseparable all the way through high school. The two of them, together, had taken all the shit their older brothers could dish out, or anybody else for that matter. Usually, though, he was the one listening to Huston brag about his latest conquest or moan about getting rejected by a girl he had his eye on. Not that Logan was bragging, and Jen’s request defied categorization.

  Women had chased him.

  Women had used him.

  Women had sworn to love him forever, then betrayed him.

  But until now, no woman had asked him to give her the means to make a baby—without any involvement beyond jerking off. Jen hadn’t offered a different option. The way she phrased it made it sound like she expected him to deliver his contribution in a mason jar, like ranchers did with bull semen.

  “What’s the big deal, Logan? Guys donate to sperm banks all the time.”

  “She’s not a bank.”

  “Didn’t you say she offered you twenty grand? Sounds like a bank to me. And she’s offering you a better rate.”

  “How would you know? Have you donated?”

  “No, but a friend of mine did. He made fifty bucks.”

  Logan sank onto the side of the bed. He leaned over and braced his elbow on his knee, bracketing his forehead with his hand. His stomach had been tied in knots ever since Jen had dropped that bomb on him at the end of dinner. At least she waited until he finished his ribs. “She wants me to get a blood test first, says she can pull strings with some lab downtown. And she asked for a medical history on our family.”

  “Did you tell her about crazy Aunt Minnie?”

  “Get off it, man. I’m not in the mood.”

  His brother went silent. Finally. This wasn’t a joking matter.

  “You like this woman—Jen? Is that her name?”

  “Yeah.”

  “But you just met her.”

  “Listen to you, the guy who falls in love when a woman buys him a drink.”

  “Who said anything about love?”

  Logan straightened. “That’s not what I meant.”

  Love sure as hell wasn’t on his mind. Getting laid? Maybe. He’d congratulated himself on snagging the interest of a smart, beautiful woman clearly out of his league. But it wasn’t him she was interested in; it was only what he could offer as a reproduction-source. If some lawn guy with the right physical attributes had shown up instead, she would’ve offered to buy his sperm.

  “My point was about how fast you decide you’re interested in a woman,” Logan explained. “I met Jen. I liked her. We went to dinner. That’s all there is to it. Except for the, you know...”

  “Okay, so things didn’t work out the way you expected. You’re leaving after next week anyway. Why does it matter?”

  “It matters because it’s worth twenty grand. That’s almost enough for a year of vet school.” He hated that Jen’s offer tempted him. They would be turning something mysterious and sacred—making a child—into nothing more than a business transaction. Not to mention his intense discomfort with the idea of fathering a baby he’d never get to see. If they struck a bargain, he had to sign a contract waiving his parental rights and agree not to contact Jen afterwards.

  “Why not ask for fifty grand? That’d get you through two years.”

  “Seems mercenary to haggle over the price.”

  “She’s the one who wants to cut a deal.”

  Logan scrubbed his fingers through his hair. At last, he’d met a woman who’d sparked his interest and, he’d thought, seemed interested in him. As it turned out, Jen only cared about his physical characteristics and genetic makeup,
like that was all he had to offer.

  “Yeah, maybe you’re right.” Rather than letting her offer bother him, he should consider it. Weigh the advantages against the disadvantages. “Even if I do agree, it’s selfish to keep the money. Dad needs it for a new barn. Besides, I can’t leave, he needs my help.”

  “He won’t take your money, and you’re not that important. We can manage without you.”

  His brother only said that to make him feel less guilty about going back to school. Then again, Huston had a way of cutting him down to size when he started to get bigheaded. Things were tough at home, but now that his brother was back, they probably could manage.

  “You can’t get rid of me that easily. I’ll set up my practice in your front yard.”

  “Deal.”

  Returning to the window, Logan looked out. Jen had gone back inside and her windows were dark. Troy and Celeste had gone to bed too. In fact, they couldn’t wait to bid him goodnight. He envied them; they made love look easy. Everyone assumed he hadn’t married because he wasn’t ready. At twenty-seven, that wasn’t the case. He just hadn’t found the right woman.

  “She might not think I’m worth fifty grand.”

  “Sleep with her, then ask.”

  Logan smiled, his sense of humor returning. He needed a good laugh. “Great idea. I’m sure afterwards she’ll double her offer and then some.”

  “That’s the spirit. When I get there next week, you can tell me what she decided you were worth.”

  “Like hell. We won’t be discussing this again...and don’t tell Dad.” Logan could imagine his father’s explosive reaction. “How’s he doing?”

  “Not so good this week. Yesterday was their anniversary.”

  “Shit.” Logan rested his shoulder against the wall and tried not to look out the window. “I forgot. Should’ve called him.”

  “You can talk to him tomorrow. I told him you remembered, but that you were out and couldn’t call until late.”

  Logan closed his eyes. “Thanks.”

  “No problem. Now get some sleep.” Huston’s voice had a ragged edge.