Maybe Baby

by E. E. Burke

  “Don’t psychoanalyze me. You aren’t qualified, and I didn’t invite it.”

  “Maybe you should consider seeing someone who is qualified.” The instant he blurted the retort, he wanted to retract it.

  Hurt flashed in her eyes before her face froze into a hard mask. “You need to leave. We’re done.”

  Pain sheared through his chest. He knew she was rejecting him first so he wouldn’t have a chance to reject her, but knowing something logically didn’t mean it hurt any less. He shouldn’t have agreed to this ridiculous deal, or he should’ve backed out after realizing he could care for her.

  She was right about one thing. He couldn’t fix whatever was wrong. She wasn’t even willing to lean on him, or to consider the possibility that she might be able to depend on someone other than herself. She ought to get to know him better before she decided he was like whoever had hurt her and made her doubt herself and everyone else. But that still might not change her mind, and he was on a direct course for getting his heart broken if he kept this up much longer.

  Besides, he was leaving Sunday.

  Logan stood. He’d given her what she wanted. What more was there to discuss? “Yes ma’am. I’ll show myself out.”

  Chapter 8

  Two days later, a wedding took place in the back yard of the house next to Jen’s. Troy and Celeste had invited her and she had RSVP’d. Not showing up would make it look like she was avoiding Logan—or staying home and licking her wounds because he was avoiding her.

  Since she’d sent him away, he hadn’t returned. He hadn’t so much as shown his face. She’d gone out to the back yard every morning and again when she got home in the evening, doing her exercises, playing with Freckles, hoping that Logan might just happen to be outside next door, and she would see him over the trimmed bushes and she could wave and maybe he’d come over, and she’d apologize for being a jerk.

  This morning, the caterers and florist had been busy setting up tables and decorating a new arbor. She’d seen Troy and Celeste and two older couples that might be their parents, several younger people who could be siblings or friends. But she hadn’t seen Logan.

  She turned in front of a full-length mirror in her dressing room. Having changed half a dozen times, she’d finally opted for the little black dress that was her go-to outfit when she needed something classy. It looked like a dress Audrey Hepburn might’ve worn.

  Jen smoothed her hands over the fitted skirt. Regular exercise kept her slender, though not nearly as slim as Audrey Hepburn. The dress still complemented her figure. She hoped Logan might notice...if he took notice of her at all. After the way they’d parted, he might never look at her again, much less speak to her. He had a right to hate her, given the way she’d treated him because she was afraid.

  The ache in her chest that had started the moment he walked out the door hadn’t gotten better. It was like a bruise she kept reinjuring. The throbbing started up again every time she thought about him, which was about a hundred times a day. Or more.

  Even Freckles had become listless. She stood in front of the sliding glass doors, her tail slowly moving, back and forth. Watching. Waiting.

  Jen stooped to scratch behind the dog’s ears. “I’m sorry, sweetie. He’s not coming back—” Her voice cracked at the sudden well of tears.

  The dog’s brown-eyed gaze seemed full of questions.

  “It wouldn’t have worked out.” Jen had been telling herself that for three days, and she still hadn’t convinced herself. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more she feared she had totally screwed up. One thing was clear. She had to stop hiding.

  She would go to the wedding and talk to him. If Logan gave her a chance to apologize, maybe they could work something out. A long shot, but she had to try.

  Jen headed for the evergreen hedge that ran between the houses. There was a worn path that led through an opening in the bushes. She wondered how the path had gotten started forty years back when the hedges were first planted. Neighbors making frequent visits?

  Troy and Celeste were little more than strangers, and she suspected they’d only invited her to the wedding because she lived next door and they wanted to be good neighbors. She had to do a better job at making friends. In New York, no one much cared, but down here, being neighborly was a prerequisite for ensuring acceptance. Most of her life, she’d been something of a loner. She didn’t want her child to grow up like that. She couldn’t imagine Logan without friends. He would draw people to him like a bright flower drew butterflies.

  Her anxiety ratcheted up when she entered the wrought iron gate.

  She took a quick survey of her surroundings, as always, making sure she knew where all the exits were. There weren’t as many people as she thought there would be, maybe fifty, most of them seated in rows of wooden folding chairs. The yard was big enough that they wouldn’t be crowded together after the ceremony

  Twinkling lights strung from the trees interspersed with glowing paper lanterns provided soft light for a celebration that would go into the evening. Flowering vines wrapped handrails set up along a stone walkway and twined through an arbor next to a fishpond. The sound of a spraying fountain added a natural ambiance to the strains of a string quartet playing Mozart.

  If she were to marry, she would have a backyard wedding like this one. Not too many people, in a beautiful place where she was comfortable.

  She didn’t see Logan but knew he’d be with the wedding party. The men in black tuxes, including the one approaching her, were the ushers.

  “May I escort you to a seat?” The dark-haired man offering his arm bore a slight resemblance to Aiden Turner. Except, for the Texas accent. She’d heard that Troy hailed from the Lone Star State, so this man must be one of his friends or relatives.

  “Yes, please.” Jen took the man’s arm. He wasn’t quite as tall as Logan, had a similar, rangy build, but leaner, to the point of being thin. He didn’t swagger when he walked. In fact, he favored his right leg. Something about him seemed vaguely familiar, yet she knew she’d never met him. “Are you here from Texas?”

  “How could you tell?” The man’s striking green eyes gleamed with amusement. “You’re the pretty neighbor.”

  His assessment? Or something he’d heard?

  “Is there an ugly one?”

  “If there is, I haven’t met them. Do you have any stepsisters?”

  Quick-witted and handsome, and not wearing a wedding ring. Girls, look out.

  “No cruel step-sisters, no glass slippers either, and I decided against the frothy gown.”

  “If you’re worried your prince will be disappointed, don’t be.” His sly smile implied some private joke. She couldn’t see Logan bragging about her to his friends, or if he had, presenting her in a positive light. He’d left angry and had stayed away. She could only assume that meant he wanted nothing more to do with her, which was her own fault entirely.

  The knot of misery in her chest moved up to her throat.

  Her escort stopped at a seat on the end of a row two-thirds back. Had she given him instructions, she couldn’t have picked a better place. She’d be able see everything, but if need be, could escape without attracting attention.

  She smiled as she let go of his arm. “Thank you. This is a perfect spot.”

  He gave a nod. “Enjoy the evenin’.”

  After he left, she realized she hadn’t gotten his name. Nor had he asked for her name, though it seemed he might know it. She felt at a distinct disadvantage.

  Within moments, the music changed, and the minister officiating took his place with four other men who joined him near the arbor.

  Jen’s heart fluttered the moment she spotted Logan next to the groom. He stood several inches taller than the other men. The late afternoon light reflected off his blond-streaked hair. He’d gotten it cut short. She wished he’d left it curling over his collar. She loved running her fingers through the thick strands. He hadn’t asked for her opinion, and she wouldn’t be touching his
hair again, at any rate. Regardless of the haircut, he was by far the handsomest man up there. The fawn-colored tux and ivory shirt complimented his fair coloring. He looked as fabulous in formal wear as he did in faded jeans and T-shirts.

  He looked even more fabulous stark naked.

  Her pulse accelerated. He hadn’t seen her yet. Or maybe he wasn’t looking for her. She held him in her gaze, hoping she might catch his eye at some point. After the wedding, sometime during the reception, hopefully when so many people weren’t around, she would approach him and ask if he would come over to say goodbye before he left. That would give her a chance to talk to him in private.

  The music swelled and the bridal party began their procession. Attendants in taupe, floor-length dresses swished past. Each carried a leafy bouquet with a creamy floral mix. The soothing neutrals suited the outdoorsy setting.

  Jen stood with the others as the music shifted and the bride appeared.

  Celeste’s strapless champagne gown, with its loose, flowing skirt, was simple, yet stunning. She wore her curly light-brown hair loose, adorned with a small spray of leafy white flowers that someone had expertly fastened behind one ear to make the effect look casual, like she’d been out in a field gathering wildflowers. She glowed as she made her way to the grinning groom.

  Tears blurred Jen’s vision. She blinked and dabbed a tissue in the corner of her eyes to avoid smearing her makeup. She might never know that kind of happiness. Worse, she might’ve thrown her only opportunity away.

  After the ceremony, she made her way to one of the tables and waited. Although she made polite conversation with people seated around her, she wasn’t in the mood to engage in lengthy discussions, so after awhile, they stopped trying to include her.

  Her spirits fell lower when Logan didn’t venture in her direction. The wedding party had congregated at a far table. He’d noticed her, or she thought he had. She could get up and go over there, congratulate the bride and groom, greet Logan, open the door. That meant passing through this crowd and risking rejection if he responded with cool politeness. Her chest tightened just thinking about it.

  Her watch vibrated. The phone call she’d scheduled with the team was coming up in a half hour.

  Pull it together. Get up and go talk to him. Get his attention before—

  “Can I have everyone’s attention?”

  She jerked her head up at the sound of Logan’s voice.

  He stood, champagne glass in hand, to make a toast. She hoped it would be a short one. If she didn’t get a chance to talk to him tonight, she might not see him before he left.

  “As Troy’s best man, I have the honor of making a toast. Oh boy, have I been waiting for this, a chance to tell everyone the truth—”

  “Careful now.” Troy leaned back and put his arm around Celeste, who gave him a questioning look. She appeared more worried about the truth than he did.

  Logan’s smile broadened. “I’ve known Troy for what seems like forever. Our mothers were best friends. We went through school together, through Boy Scouts together, played football, double-dated...” He leaned near the couple, his voice lower, but loud enough to hear. “Just so you know, Celeste, he didn’t have good taste in women until he met you.”

  “That is the truth,” Troy said, laughing.

  Logan straightened, still addressing the couple. “I have to admit, I was surprised when Troy told me he was moving to Georgia. I didn’t reckon anything could drag him out of Texas. Not even a sweet gal. But when I met Celeste, I figured out the reason for Troy’s defection. He’d found his new best friend.”

  Logan’s expression grew serious. “I always heard people talk about being friends and lovers. Then I’d see it was only talk. Their relationship wasn’t deep enough to sustain all the crap life throws at you. My mom and dad were the only couple I knew who had that kind of bond, until I came out here and saw how the two of you are with each other. Better together.”

  His wry smile appeared, showing off his adorable dimple, which was more visible when he was clean-shaven. “Actually, I don’t know if Troy improved you any, Celeste, but you sure did make this cowboy a better man.”

  Troy lifted his glass. “That’s the truth.”

  Celeste beamed.

  Jen swallowed the lump in her throat. What a lucky couple to have found each other, and how lucky Logan had been to have parents who modeled true love. She couldn’t say whether or not her parents had, at one time, made each other better. That would’ve been before she came along.

  Logan looked out over the crowd and his gaze fastened on her, sending a jolt through her. “That’s what a marriage should be, a joining of friends who hold each other’s hearts gently, with love and trust.”

  Jen released a shuddering breath. He’d meant that last bit for her. Troy and Celeste already understood what a good marriage was all about, and so did Logan. She was the one who didn’t get it. Now she did, and it confirmed what she already knew—a good marriage was something she would never have.

  She couldn’t offer anyone her complete trust, not even Logan. He wouldn’t accept anything less, and he deserved that kind of relationship. There was no point in talking to him and trying to mend the breach. The best thing for both of them would be to let him go.

  Jen waited until the toasts were over and then bid those at her table goodbye. She’d come back later to congratulate Troy and Celeste. She couldn’t stay here another minute without breaking down.

  ***

  Logan swore under his breath when Jen bolted. He hadn’t been able to get away to talk to her, and he’d directed most of his remarks to the happy couple, but he’d made eye contact with her when he said that last part, wanting her to hear a promise.

  He offered her friendship, which he suspected would deepen into a love if she would give this thing between them a chance.

  Frankly, he’d wondered whether she would even show up because it meant she would have to deal with the crowd—and him. Seeing her arrive was the first hopeful sign since she’d kicked him out. After two days of agonizing over whether he’d done the right thing by leaving her alone until she was ready to talk, he wasn’t letting her run away.

  He set his glass on the table and leaned down to talk to Troy. “Be back in a sec. Just need to straighten something out.”

  “Take your time. We’re doin’ good here.” He kissed Celeste. “Aren’t we, sugar?”

  “Whew-ee, this is getting too sweet for me...” Huston draped an arm around Logan’s shoulders and raised the beer in his hand. “Nice speech, little brother. Might’ve gone a bit too long. The clock struck midnight. Your princess ran away.”

  Already annoyed by Jen’s departure, Logan was in no mood for Huston’s needling. He shrugged off his brother’s arm. “Little brother? I’m three inches taller than you, and since when did you start watching Disney movies?”

  Huston’s eyes rounded with a look of feigned surprise. “You forgot all those movies Miss Kate made us watch?”

  Their grandmother had started a tradition of movie nights when they were young. Everyone got a chance to pick one, even her. She always wanted Disney movies, usually the ones involving princesses, which surprised the boys because she wasn’t the princess type.

  “Yeah, I remember. But I didn’t memorize them.”

  “Maybe you should have.”

  Logan strode away, his brother’s laughter following. Huston had been cracking jokes about him and Jen ever since arriving yesterday. He’d warned Huston to mind his manners when he went to seat her, and told him where she should sit, just in case she needed to step away for some fresh air. He hadn’t anticipated she would flee before he got a chance to talk to her. It would be his luck that his brother had scared her off with some crazy story.

  He slipped through the same narrow path in the hedges that she’d taken, but went around to the back, thinking she might not let him in if he knocked at the front. With luck, he could meet her at the back door when she let the dog outside.


  The sliding doors opened and Freckles darted out, raced around him, barking and wagging her tail.

  Jen tried to close the door. He got the toe of his boot inside, grabbed the handle and pulled it open. Her little antic would be amusing if she didn’t look so stricken. Black eye makeup ran in streaks down her face. Seeing her so miserable wrenched his heart.

  The dog jumped on him one more time before giving up and bounding off to the back yard. He pulled the glass door shut behind him, holding Jen’s wounded gaze. He’d prepared a speech. Now he couldn’t remember the words.

  “You don’t have to wag your tail, but you could act a little happier to see me.”

  She wiped her face with a tissue. He thought he saw a smile start, but it didn’t quite make it to her eyes. “I’m sorry about closing the door on you. That was juvenile.”

  “Why did you leave so fast? Did Huston say something that upset you?”

  “Who?” Her forehead creased in a perplexed frown.

  “The guy who took you to your seat? He’s my brother, Huston. I thought he introduced himself.”

  “No, he didn’t. He did ask if I had ugly stepsisters. Maybe he didn’t think it was important for me to know him, considering.”

  “Considering what?”

  “That we won’t be seeing each other again.”

  “You don’t have to see my wiseass brother again if you don’t want to.”

  “I’m not talking about your brother.”

  “Yeah, I know. But I’m not leaving town without apologizing for the things I said to you. I was angry, but that’s no excuse for hurting you.”

  “You didn’t say anything I don’t deserve.” Jen’s coolness didn’t fool him. She put up that defense when she was afraid. He didn’t want her to be scared anymore. He wanted to soothe her fears, and deal with whatever had sent her running again. Giving in to the urge to put his arms around her, he took a step in her direction.