Home For June

by Juliet Madison

  As she did some basic housework, she found herself scoring all the men she’d dated in her life, giving herself a few laughs.

  Samuel was an eight, until he left suddenly and downgraded to a five.

  Matthew was a six. Nice enough, though a bit too eager, and simply not the one for her.

  Liam had been a perfect ten on the first date, a nine on the second, an eight on the third, gradually working his way down the scale of suitability, until she’d realised at level six it wasn’t going to work.

  Her phone buzzed.

  How’s things?

  Hannah typed in a quick reply to Karen.

  Pretty good, how about you? Just about to make dinner. Actually, make that not-make dinner. I got leftovers, yay!

  And by leftovers she meant Luca’s chicken cassolette from today.

  Lucky you! I made eggs on toast.

  Yum. You’ll have to give me the recipe for that;)

  Ha-ha. So, will we get free eggs when Luca takes over?

  Hmm, not sure about that.

  And it’s definitely still all going ahead?

  Yep, contract signed, sealed, delivered.

  So excited for you. For us.

  Me too.

  Hannah smiled. It’d be like the chance she never took at age twenty to move out and live a life of freedom.

  So, I started online dating, Karen texted. Tinder, mostly. Sheesh, most of the men on there so far are weird!

  Hannah had never tried that before. She preferred to meet men the organic way.

  In what way? she asked.

  They either have photos of themselves with giant fish they’ve apparently caught, tigers they’ve managed to sedate with the power of their mind and charm, or cover their face with their phone while taking their profile selfie.

  Images flashed in Hannah’s mind. You’ll have to send me some screenshots.

  A few moments later, a few such pictures appeared.

  I vote for the fisherman, she replied.

  Oh but wait... this is his NEXT picture...

  It was a photo of him slouching on a couch, empty beer cans on the coffee table, playing a video game with a lot of mess in the background.

  Young at heart? Hannah tried to look for the positives.

  Or lives in his mother’s basement.

  Can’t judge a book by its cover, she said.

  True, but a picture tells a thousand words.

  Also true.

  She went to the box on the living room floor that had some more photo albums she’d set aside from last weekend, and plucked out the old school one. The Year Ten student group photo brought smiles and giggles to her face. Oh, the hair. The goofy grins. Luca’s dark locks dangling over his face, but not obscuring his beautiful smile. The picture was taken at the height of their friendship, when all things seemed possible. His family setting up a restaurant in town... Hannah and Luca growing up together as Tarrin’s Bay locals... the possibility of more... Who would have thought that by the end of the year things would change so dramatically, and they would not meet again for twenty years.

  Her phone chiming again brought her awareness back to the present.

  Check out this charming convo I had with one guy...

  She sent screenshots... it started out nice enough, until it rapidly escalated into a raw and direct suggestion—make that a demand—of what he would do with her when he met her. And it wasn’t the most appealing scenario.

  Yikes. I hope he’s one of few.

  Actually, more like ninety per cent.

  Yikes x 2

  Oh well, I’ll keep trying. I have no expectations.

  No expectations. Hannah had always had expectations, for almost everything... career, house, farm, family, goals... knowing what to expect gave her a sense of security at what was to come. A direction, a purpose, an outcome to work towards. But she’d never expected anything to happen with Luca, not back then, and not now. But she had expected that he would at least still be in town and she’d be able to see him and hang out with him... that was often enough. But now, she still couldn’t believe he’d actually kissed her. And her heart, her lips, wanted more of that.

  Good plan, my dear. Meet in a public place if you decide to meet any of them in real life.

  Will do.

  Hannah put the leftovers in the microwave, even though she was sure Luca would insist on heating it up the proper way without radiation. But she was starving, and as soon as the meal was ready the enticing scent brought her back to earlier in the day... she’d enjoyed being there in the kitchen with Luca, the outside world a world away. She could see why cooking appealed to him, it allowed him to be in his own world, away from the grief... gave him a sense of purpose, a satisfying outcome to work towards. Expectations. With cooking, there had to be an expectation, but with one’s love life, not so much.

  Hannah knew that the only way to avoid a repeat of her heartbreak from the past was to have no expectations with Luca. She’d enjoyed a long-awaited kiss, but that was it. She’d have to carry it in her memory and leave the past behind.

  ***

  ‘Hannah, something’s wrong,’ Luca said into the phone when she answered next morning.

  Hannah’s body tensed. ‘What?’

  ‘My website, it says unavailable.’

  Oh. Her tension subsided.

  ‘Let me check, it’s probably something simple.’ Hannah opened her laptop and went to the domain url. ‘Hmm, same message.’

  ‘Bookings go live today! What do I do? Should I have hired a professional web designer?’

  ‘Too late for that, have you asked your brother?’’

  ‘Left a message but no reply yet.’ Keyboard tapping sounded over the phone. ‘It all looks good from my end, but doesn’t appear on the internet.’

  Hannah’s mind ticked over. ‘Um, Luca?’ she asked. ‘You’ve saved the pages, right?’

  ‘Yup.’

  ‘But have you published the pages?’

  ‘Publish?’

  ‘There might be something to click onto make the pages go live, I had to do that with my previous business website.’

  More tapping sounded at the keyboard.

  ‘Um, Hannah?’ he said softly.

  ‘Yup.’

  ‘You’re much smarter than me.’

  ‘I know,’ she said with a grin, loading the webpage and seeing it appear as it should, the welcoming logo for Home displayed along the top banner. ‘See... something simple.’

  ‘Sorry to bother you, got a little worried there for a minute.’

  ‘No problem. Good luck with the bookings. I’ll share the link now with my network.’

  ‘You have a network?’

  ‘You know, friends, family, industry colleagues.’

  ‘Okay. Cool. Thanks.’

  For the next few hours, Hannah’s phone buzzed at regular intervals with a high-five emoji symbol from Luca for every booking that the website had received for the launch, until after a few too many Luca texted: Guess I’ll stop now. But how exciting!

  She chuckled. I understand your excitement. High-five away!

  He replied with about ten rows of high-fives, then added: They aren’t really bookings, just got carried away. Okay, NOW I’ll stop. Promise.

  She replied with a thumbs up.

  He replied with a thumbs up.

  She replied with two thumbs up.

  He replied with three. Then a laughing emoji. Then: Back to work for both of us, I think.

  Agreed.

  And she returned to her work with a smile.

  Chapter 21

  Just over a week later, on Sunday afternoon, after a dusty and emotional day cleaning out the shed and garage, Hannah stepped inside the liquor store and eyed the glossy bottles carefully. She grabbed two bottles of organic locally made champagne.

  ‘Big week ahead?’ the young store attendant asked. She didn’t know him, as she didn’t often drink and when she did, it was usually while out at a restaurant or a function, she
never had to buy the alcohol herself.

  ‘And a big one just gone,’ she replied. The bookings for the launch were gaining traction, more stock had been delivered for the kitchen, and Luca had hired some staff.

  ‘Can I recommend the organic red too? Filled with antioxidants to get you through the week ahead.’ He pointed to his right.

  ‘It’s not for me, actually. A gift. Well, two gifts.’

  ‘Ah,’ he said with a backwards tip of his head. ‘Why not make it three and gift yourself too. I bet you need it. We all need a little stress support from time to time.’

  ‘I’m good,’ she said, a little unsure of his overt (though completely appropriate considering his job) encouragement of using alcohol for stress therapy. She placed the bottles on the counter and retrieved her purse from her shoulder bag. She had seen this particular brand of champagne at a local function and the guests had seemed impressed by it, so she assumed it must be good. It even had an award sticker on it. Karen would love it, and maybe they could pop it open together in celebration on the night she moved in. And hopefully Luca would love it too... a little congratulations gesture for his restaurant. She would give it to him the day before the launch, as she didn’t want its impact to be diluted among the crowd on launch night. It would also, she mused, be a sort of... goodbye gesture. Something to remember her by, although it wouldn’t last forever, unless he had a champagne bottle collection habit she wasn’t aware of.

  ‘Can I interest you in a couple of gift bags to accompany your purchase?’ The store attendant magically produced two rectangle paper bags with gift tags, shining and glittering under the lights as he held them up.

  Hannah shrugged. ‘Why not.’

  She paid for her purchase and resisted his attempts to upsell her to a monthly wine club, then returned to her car where she stored the bottles in the boot.

  She sat in the driver’s seat and couldn’t resist texting Karen:

  I have a surprise for you!

  Her reply came right away:

  Oooh, do tell!

  Nope. You’ll have to wait till I move in.

  She replied with a frustrated face emoji.

  How’s your weekend going?

  Not bad. A bit of chatting on Tinder, but it’s getting on my nerves.

  So why do it?

  I’ll give it till end of month, if there are no decent catches who can hold a proper conversation by then, I’m giving up.

  Okay, well good luck, she texted back, then put on her seatbelt.

  Thanks. Why don’t you try it too, then we can swap screenshots and be Tinder support buddies!

  Ha-ha. TBH I don’t really want to date. I just want to find a partner who’ll stick around, and be done with it. Is that unrealistic?

  Sorta, you have to date before you find the one you want to be your partner, you know.

  Hannah sighed. I know, but I’m just over the disappointment and uncertainty. And right now I need to stay focused on my own life anyway.

  Yes you do. And a great one it is, and will be. A fresh start.

  It will. Anyway, gotta go. Have a great rest of the day!

  You too, Karen added a kiss emoji.

  Hannah drove down the street alongside the terrace shops, realising she hadn’t wandered around the local shops for a while and would have to do it sometime before leaving, as a goodbye gesture to the town. See all the sights again, talk to the shop owners, revisit her memories...

  She also realised she was going in the opposite direction to her house. But still she drove, letting her subconscious take her wherever it wanted to go. Somewhere not in her plans. She pulled up alongside the road near the first beach in town, not far from Serendipity Retreat. She got out of the car, the strong breeze greeting her with enthusiasm like a long-lost relative rushing up to embrace her suddenly.

  Hannah tightened her button-up sweater around her neck and walked to the sandy shore, her feet tensing above the crumbly terrain to keep her balance. She stopped, arms crossed over her chest, and gazed out at the wide expanse of ocean, dark blue in the distance and bluey-white as it bubbled nearby onto the shore. With a deep breath, she inhaled its effervescent presence.

  She walked closer, and had it been spring or summer, she may have rolled up her jeans and waded in the water, but the water would be icy today. But she was filled with an urgency to move, to feel, to be awakened. She looked down the length of beach and started walking, picked up her pace, and sped up into a jog. Her shoulder bag strapped diagonally across her chest bounced up and down but she didn’t care, each bounce like a slap on a horse’s back from a jockey, urging her forwards. She ran, her hair leaping backwards in the wind and her skin feeling alive, her muscles warming up and her smile stretching wide.

  She didn’t know whether it was exercise she needed, or the rush of adrenaline, or the intense sensation of the wind against her body as she pushed through it, but whatever it was, it felt good, and she needed it.

  When she neared the end of the beach she slowed to a walk, her chest rising and falling rapidly, her lungs squeezing air in and out.

  ‘Holy moly,’ she said with an exhalation, bending forwards to catch her breath. ‘I should do some preparation next time I plan on a spontaneous run.’

  She glanced up to make sure no one was around and could hear her talking to herself, and her eyes latched onto a sight not too far in the distance, on the wharf.

  A man sat on the edge, fishing rod raised up in the air and the line trailing into the water.

  Hannah squinted, and adjusted the bag on her shoulder. Luca.

  She couldn’t turn around, he might see her. Had maybe seen her already, though he was faced at right angles to where she was. She wandered towards the wharf, purposely breathing slower to recoup her normal breathing pattern.

  By the time she reached the end of the wharf where he sat, he had turned around.

  ‘Hey there, looking rosy.’ He smiled, moving his tackle box aside and gesturing for her to sit.

  She flicked her hand. ‘Ah, just went for a run.’

  ‘So it appears.’

  She sat next to him. ‘I might smell all sweaty, just warning you.’

  ‘I might smell like fish. Just warning you.’

  She pinched her nose and said, ‘Eww,’ then chuckled. ‘Caught anything?’

  ‘Nothing worth keeping.’

  For some reason his remark made Hannah think about the analogy of fish in the sea representing available women... nothing worth keeping.

  He clearly hadn’t found any woman worth keeping either... was that the way he thought about her? A good old friend, but nothing more? So they’d shared a kiss, but that was a spur of the moment thing, it probably didn’t mean much—to him, anyway.

  ‘But maybe my luck will turn.’

  Was he also thinking of the analogy, or just fish?

  ‘... And get to cook some fish for dinner tonight.’

  Oh. Fish.

  Hannah cleared her throat. ‘Yes. Hopefully.’

  ‘Dad used to take me and my brother fishing. Male-bonding time, he’d call it.’ Luca reeled in the line and added a new piece of bait, then cast it out to sea. ‘Want to help?’ He gestured to the handline in the tackle box.

  ‘Sure.’ She picked it up and unravelled it, then added half a prawn. ‘My dad used to take me too. But it was father-daughter bonding time, not male.’ She smiled.

  ‘That’s nice,’ he replied. ‘When was the last time you went?’

  Hannah thought back a while, before her dad’s heart attack. ‘Geez, I think it’s been a good few years.’

  ‘Sometimes we get caught up in life, huh? It can be easy for things to change, but when we look back, it’s hard to comprehend how much time has passed.’

  Hannah nodded, giving the line a few light tugs to check if any fish had caught on.

  ‘Sorry, fishing makes me nostalgic and sentimental,’ he added.

  ‘Nothing to apologise for. It’s good to be nostalgic and sentimental o
n occasion.’

  Luca’s line became taut. ‘Ooh.’ He reeled it in, but then it slackened. ‘Damn. Lost it.’ He added more bait and tried again.

  ‘“Never give up”, my dad would say when fishing, when I’d lose patience. “Give it time. Only stop when you absolutely have to, or your dinner is ready and family are waiting”, he’d say. He’d tell me that the biggest catch could be just on its way, and if you give up too soon, you could miss it.’

  Hannah’s mind visualised beautiful little female fish swimming below, waiting for Luca to catch them, and Luca getting up and walking away just before the most amazingly beautiful and exotic and enticing fish swam by.

  She wasn’t amazingly beautiful and exotic and enticing, but she was a good catch. Sensible, smart, organised, active and healthy, caring and kind. But had she given up too soon on Tarrin’s Bay? On the idea that someone could just appear and somehow slot into her life at Iona and be right for her? Someone amazingly beautiful, exotic, and enticing...

  Like Luca.

  But he wouldn’t just slot in anyway. He would be taking over. Making his own way, his own rules. And he wasn’t one for patience, despite his determination with his business. Personal matters were completely different.

  Hannah pulled in the line and added more bait when the previous bait had been sneakily eaten without consequence by some fish below.

  ‘Sounds like he was a wise man, your dad,’ she said. ‘I do remember him, but not much.’

  ‘Yes. He was always busy, not one for lazing around. Fishing was his only relaxation.’

  ‘Do you feel close to him when you fish?’ she asked, and immediately regretted it when Luca’s eyes became grey and he rested his elbows on his knees. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up the past.’

  He gave a weak wave of his hand. ‘It’s okay.’ He gazed into the distance. ‘You’re right. I do,’ he said. ‘How did you know?’ He turned to face her.

  She shrugged. ‘A hunch.’

  ‘You get people, you know,’ he said. ‘You’re very understanding and intuitive.’

  She shrugged again. ‘Oh I don’t know, some things just seem obvious to me. I state what feels right at the time.’

  ‘Well it’s a special talent.’ He pulled at the taut line a little, but it slackened again. ‘I also feel close to him when I cook. So I guess I feel close to him a lot of the time.’