Loose Possession

by Lily Roberts

  Oh, God, it was like watching a train wreck in action, only I was standing in one of the train cars.

  At the very least, Sydney was on my side in getting Derek to get the hell out of our room. He promised to hang out in the first floor lounge and wait for Syd to come out and let him know when we were done talking.

  Of course, she was here to talk about last night.

  I still had no idea what to tell her. The truth? She’d totally think I was lying. Fib and say nothing happened? No way; she’d believe that less than that she’d willingly kissing me. There was one, sure-fire way I could get out of this, but it would probably get me a slap across the face.

  And I honestly was getting sick of those, especially since I didn’t even deserve this one.

  After throwing on a quick pair of pants and a t-shirt, I slipped out of the bathroom, Sydney taking up the desk where Derek had sat not seconds before. She gave me a slight nod, crisscrossing her legs as her hands settled against her knees. “So?”

  Christ, here we go.

  I propped myself up against the wall, awkwardly rubbing the back of my neck while I spoke. “Soo…how’s your Saturday been, Squid?”

  Sydney gave an annoyed huff. My usual brand of humor was even less welcome than usual this time around.

  “Okay, just, what did everyone else tell you?” I asked. That was a good way to start, right? Keep it open, sift out what she knows, and build my possible cover story off of it.

  Sydney just glared. Wow, she really wasn’t budging at all.

  “Come on, at least give me something to work with?” I asked.

  Sydney just shook her head. “I want to hear what you’ll say. No outside influences.”

  Damn. She was onto me. Now what was I supposed to do? Tell the truth, try and lie? God, I really didn’t want a slap tonight. Could we just have a normal-ass conversation for once? “I…that ass Dinesh wanted to walk you back to your dorm.” Okay, maybe if I painted myself as the “good” guy, she would be easier to convince otherwise. “He was pretty drunk, too, and I just…” I grimaced. “I dunno, he just seemed off to me. Probably not a good idea for the blind to lead the blind, right?” I added hastily afterwards.

  Sydney seemed to catch on to my hidden meaning. “Yeah…well…I guess you were the lesser of two evils. For once.” She cleared her throat loudly, but I could’ve sworn I heard her say, “thank you” between coughs.

  “Glad we both think the same thing,” I said with a small smile. Okay, good. “I just wanted to make sure you got back okay. I’ve known you way too long to just let you go, yah know?”

  Sydney nodded, body looking significantly less tense. “But what did you do?”

  Welp, that was nice while it lasted.

  “All the football guys were saying you came back to the party looking real shifty, Scott.” Sydney leaned back in her chair, those gorgeous eyes of hers piercing through my skull. “And you’ve got a bit of a track record with doing stupid things with me.”

  Yikes.

  “So just, spit it out.” Sydney said a little hastier than before. God, she looked like I was about to tell her the results of a cancer test. “Did you think it’d be funny to sneak in some PDA?”

  My stomach sank at the accusation. Didn’t think it’d hurt so much when she said it, but damn, when the words came out of Sydney’s mouth, it really stung. “N-No! Nothing like that!” I held up my hands in defense, shaking my head like mad. “Syd, the only part of you I touched was your hand so you didn’t wipe out on the way back.”

  “Then why the hell was everyone so giggly this afternoon?” Sydney spat out, suddenly standing up from her chair, an accusatory finger pointed my way. “Why are they all so convinced you did something to me?”

  “Why are you so convinced?” The question tumbled out of my mouth before I could think about it. But, honestly, I was starting to get pretty pissed.

  Sydney looked absolutely flabbergasted. “Wha—when don’t you do something? You’re Scott Sawyer. You always do something stupid.”

  “So, it was stupid of me to help you to the doc’s office after I nailed you with a kickball?” I hissed. “It was stupid of me to make sure some creep didn’t get you in a corner, or you got back to your dorm in one piece? All of that was stupid, huh?”

  “I,” Sydney stopped, visibly biting on her lip. I’d never seen her talked into submission. This was a first. “Nailing me in the face with a kickball was pretty stupid,” she finally added. “But I want to know if you did anything worse?”

  “If you’d rather believe a bunch of meatheads than the guy you’ve known for almost all your life,” I went on. “Feel free, Sydney. I really don’t care what you think, but I’m not gonna have you call me out for something I didn’t even do.”

  Shit. Did I go too far? Sydney just stared at me, teeth clenched and anger visibly bubbling. But, still, she remained silent. She just…let me go off on her.

  “If I told you I kissed you, would it make you feel better?” My mouth was absolutely running with venom, now; I watched Sydney visibly flinch. “Would it just make everything right in Sydney’s World if mean ol’ Scott Sawyer was the same douchebag she knew back in grade school? I’m sure it’ll be such a relief to keep me pigeon-holed in this fucking box you’ve put me in.”

  “I,”

  “No, you know what?” I pushed my way towards the door, throwing it open and gesturing out. “You can leave. Let it be known that I, scummy Scott Sawyer, am so desperate to ruin the life of one person, that I’d actually take advantage of them while they were out of it. Now that you got what you wanted, can you just get out?”

  Sydney stood there, frozen in place. Eventually, she seemed to remember how legs worked and started moving across the room. As we crossed paths, she looked me in the eyes with an expression I wasn’t used to seeing. Apologetic? Stunned? Whatever it was, it was quick to vanish as she turned away and half-jogged down the hallway.

  “Dude.” Derek’s head pokes out of the lounge, a grimace clear as day across his face. “You okay?”

  My fist curled tightly along the frame of the door. “Yeah. I just…I gotta run this whole encounter off.”

  Derek nodded, slowly making his way back into our room. “I’ll keep the door unlocked for you, man. Be safe, okay?”

  I nodded, snatching my phone and ear buds off the nearby desk. “I’ll just jog around the campus. Be back later.”

  And pray to God Sydney Burton locked herself in her room tonight.

  “Jesus, Sydney, are you sure you wanna go today?”

  My hand wavered above the doorknob, hand tightening around my backpack strap. Of course I didn’t want to go. If I could have it my way, I’d pack my bags and walk my ass to another college campus. Anything to get far, far, far away from Scott Sawyer.

  Who, for once in the time I’ve known him, made sense.

  I’d never seen him so angry before. Saturday night was something entirely new, sending me totally into my head all Sunday. Denise was honestly shocked I spent the day in bed with my phone and under my covers watching TubeTube videos. Okay, maybe getting outside and sweating out those feelings would’ve been a healthier way to cope with this, but…I just lost the will to do anything that day.

  And now it was Monday.

  Which meant it was time for Journalism.

  “Seriously, you could probably just write up some bullshit article with what you grabbed over the last few weeks,” Denise continued, pulling me back to reality. “I’m pretty sure you’ll still get a passing grade without a video recording.”

  She was right. It was just extra padding for the collective article, something to flaunt to the professor to show I could. “I…I can’t just hide from Scott forever, you know?” So glad some part of me realized that. Just had to pull it out to the front line and believe it for myself.

  “Okay, but, what if I tagged along?” Denise offered. “I could be a sort of buffer?”

  I glanced behind my shoulder, brow raised her way. �
��Don’t you have a morning class today, too?”

  Denise waved a hand. “The professor doesn’t really care if you show up or not, long as you keep up leaving messages on the online forums.”

  “Why would any higher up let that,” I blinked, shaking my head. “Never mind. I mean, I’m not gonna say no to you…”

  “Great!” Denise clapped her hands together excitedly. “Cause I was one-hundred percent hoping to chat with Cooper, too. He’s been dragging his feet about getting an actual date together, so I laid out the groundwork. He just has to pick a restaurant.”

  I chuckled, pulling the door open and holding it for my roommate. “Wow. Barely three days as a couple and he didn’t have a date plan?”

  “I know, right?” Denise flicked her hair behind her shoulder while marching passed me. “Lucky for him, I’m the kind of girl who loves a good list.”

  ---

  We decided to take the, “scenic route” to the football field, otherwise known as the longest possible route to get there. It gave me some time to build up a bit more courage, maybe think up a few lines I could say to Scott if he came close. “’Sorry’ comes to mind…” I muttered under my breath.

  “Yeesh. You’re really torn up about this, huh?” Denise asked.

  I ran my hand through my hair, groaning loudly. “You should’ve seen him, Denise! It was like watching a volcanic eruption, and the worst part is that he was totally in the right.”

  “I mean, he is a bit of a dick,” Denise pointed out.

  “Yeah, but not to the degree I’ve been accusing him of.” Another sigh slipped out as my fingers curled tightly around my backpack strap. “He’s…Scott’s a total jerk, don’t get me wrong. But lately, with each encounter, he’s…less of a jerk? Does that make sense?”

  Denise shrugged. “People change when they hit college. Maybe the sensible part of his brain finally grew in. Or maybe you are just getting more used to his ass-ness so it seems less annoying. But really Syd, I do believe he’s trying to be better.”

  “Yeah…” I kicked a stone off the path, watching it skitter across and roll into the finely-trimmed grass. “It just pisses me off that he made me feel this way.”

  “That’s totally what someone in love would say in a rom-com,” Denise teased, dancing out of the way as my fist flew towards her shoulder. “Oh my God, kidding! Just apologize and talk it out like an adult with him. No emotions attached.”

  “You’re asking quite a lot,” I said. “Besides, adults have emotions they just aren’t as raw as kid’s emotions. I believe my emotions are adult. I’ve gone from raw hatred to total confusion. Sometimes, I might think I actually like the guy. Other times I want to hit him again and again.”

  Denise pointed an accusatory finger my way. “See, but that attitude’s why you feel like shit right now.”

  “So, what, I’m just supposed to be sweet and passive to him from now on?” I asked.

  “No, girl. Just,” Denise scratched her chin, brow scrunched up in thought. “Just, don’t bring old baggage into new conversations. He’s clearly seeing you in a different light, so the least you can do is try and give him the same deal.”

  Him? Seeing me in a different light? I almost laughed at the very idea, but memories of the kickball incident floated across my brain. Scott had genuinely cared if I was hurt or not. There hadn’t been any teasing, no degrading comment about how I should always catch stuff with my face, how slow I was for not getting out of the way…that was honest-to-God worry on his face. Of course he was the one who clobbered me in the face with a ball. Yeah, my emotions weren’t just mixed they were churned up.

  “Hope you’re steeled for this,” Denise piped up as she pointed towards the field. “Cause we’ve officially arrived at our destination.”

  God, I hoped so.

  Great. The absolute last person I wanted to see today just took a seat on the bleachers. I barely managed to catch the pass headed my way as Sydney Burton plopped her butt on the second row, she slid her bag off her shoulders, digging out what looked to be campus-rented recording equipment. Cradling the ball in my arms, my legs started moving towards her almost instinctually; it took every bit I had to stop in place.

  “Not today, Squid.”

  I literally had no reason to go to her. I didn’t have anything left to say—everything had been spat out Saturday night—and I didn’t have any desire to talk to her. She was the one who owed me an apology, anyway. Even the event that caused the fight was her fault; she’s the one who leaned in for the kiss, not me.

  Course, I made a move the first two times…

  “Yo, Sawyer!”

  I blinked, turning my head towards Cooper as he half-jogged my way. He was pointing towards the ball still in my arms. “O-Oh, sorry.” I gave it a half-hearted toss; Cooper seemed to notice.

  “You all right, man?” he asked. “You seem a bit out of it today.”

  “Yeah, I just,” I glanced back towards Sydney, feeling my brow begin to furrow. “Just a bit distracted.”

  Cooper’s gaze followed mine, a sympathetic smile crossing his face. “Trouble in paradise? It’s bound to happen to every couple eventually.”

  “Couple?” It took a second for my lie to sink in. That’s right; there’s no way Dinesh would keep that fib of mine secret. “Right, right.”

  “Ah, don’t worry, man,” Cooper gives me a reassuring pat on the back. “You two will work it out. There’s just way too much history between you and Sydney.”

  Yeah, and most of it was us at each other’s throats.

  “Here, go long, would yah?” Cooper starts to step away from me, arms pulling back to throw the football towards me. “Let’s get your mind off of things; run fast, Sawyer!”

  I started into a light jog, glancing over my shoulder to make sure I was still in line with Cooper. As I turned back, a jolt ran through my body as I realized where he was sending the ball; straight in the bleachers. “Dude,”

  “You better keep running, man!” Cooper called back.

  “Dude, don’t hit them!” I looked back towards the bleachers in a panic. “Your new girlfriend is there, too, come on!”

  Cooper just grinned, arching his back to launch the football across. I had no choice; I broke out into a sprint as the ball left his fingertips, determined not to let a second ball-like object hit Sydney in the face. She kept her camera to her face, recording each and every second, right up until realizing that the ball was getting a bit too close for comfort. Slowly, I watched her lower the camera, panic quickly spreading across her face as she went to duck.

  Only for my hand to, just in time, catch and cradle the son of a bitch.

  Denise lets out a nervous laugh as Sydney’s head poked back up. “Hoooly shit. Nice catch, Scott.”

  I nodded, stomach jumping a few times as I straightened up to try and catch my breath. And there she was; Sydney’s eyes and mine locked into place and held there for what felt like an eternity.

  Finally, she spoke. “H-hi, again.”

  Ooh, I wanted to be so cold to her. Just turn away without a word, not even care to hear what she might have to say to me. God damn it, I just couldn’t help myself. “Hey, Sydney. Gotta protect that nose.”

  She almost looks disappointed, like she expected me to call her something else. Holy crap, she wanted me to call her, ‘Squid,’ I realized with a start. If I did, that would mean I wasn’t mad at her anymore.

  “Did you catch all that on the camera, Syd?” Denise suddenly leaned over Sydney’s shoulder, flipping through the camera’s memory with a gasp. “Oh, woah! That’s gonna get an A for sure, girl!”

  Sydney barely nodded, her eyes still on me.

  Cooper jogged over, voice full of faked worry. “Sorry about that, you two! Good thing Scott caught that last pass, huh? Guess I put a bit too much spin on it Now you see why I’m not the QB of this team.”

  Denise waved her hand with a girlish giggle. “Ooh, don’t worry about it, honey! You looked great while doing it
and that’s all that matters.”

  Cooper’s smile looked a bit too forced than usual. “Ha-ha…yeah, thanks.” He then looked my way, eyebrows arching as if to say, “You’re welcome.” I’d punch him square in the jaw if I knew I could get away with it, but the guy’s for-sure got me on height and overall muscle mass. I turn my gaze back to Sydney, who still remained silent. This has got to be a new record, like hell was I going to start this talk. She dug herself into this pit, so she could get herself out.

  Evidently, Cooper thought differently.

  “So, Sydney,” he began nonchalantly. “I think it’d be safe to say Denise’s told you about our date night later this evening?”

  Sydney nodded as Denise’s face lit up. “Aw, babe! You remembered?”

  Cooper nodded, that weird smile returning to his face. “Yeah, so, I was thinking about this over the weekend. It’s been a bit since I’ve been on a one-on-one date, and if Denise doesn’t mind, well…” he started rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, looking just as adorably sheepish as he could.

  I shot him the dirtiest glare I could muster up. Good God, he was more meddlesome than my own mother! And if he let it slip that I’d claimed Sydney as my girlfriend, it’d be like Saturday all over again. Whatever brief hold I had over Sydney would be gone…not that this was a contest or anything, but it was nice to know she had feelings outside of anger and disgust.

  Thank God Denise jumped in. She looked confused at first, only for her face to absolutely light up like the sun as she clapped her hands excitedly. “Oh my God, Cooper! I didn’t realize you were so shy! Of course Sydney and Scott can come along with us!” She giggled, a foxlike smirk crossing her face. “It’ll be like a double-date, huh?”

  Jesus, if only she knew how accurate that was.

  This finally got Sydney to sputter out some words. “Wh-what?! No, Denise, that’s too weird.”

  “Aw, come on, Syd!” Denise whined, practically hanging off of Sydney’s arm as she spoke. “You don’t want poor Cooper to be skittish on our first date do you? Just, see it as you two chaperoning!”