Loose Possession

by Lily Roberts

  My Mom’s face suddenly it up like the sun. “Oh, baby girl, you have no idea.” She came in for a close hug, bringing me into a familiar state of being I hadn’t been in since leaving home. “I’ve missed you so much, Sydney, and I’m so glad you’re enjoying your time away.”

  I chuckled, returning the hug with gusto. “You’re just happy Scott and I aren’t fighting with each other and ruining your big party, Ma.”

  “Hey, I can enjoy more than one thing at a time, right?” My Mom laughed, ruffling my hair as she planted a kiss on my forehead. “Though, it doesn’t seem like you’re enjoying this new friendship with him as much as you want to. This isn’t some silly bet you two put yourselves up to, is it? See who would be the first one to break?”

  On the one hand, I was insulted she would think I’d stoop so low. But, on the other, she was perfectly in her right to think so. That is something past us would do. “No, Ma. Scott’s actually done a lot of growing up the past few months. We’ve found common ground. I was honestly shocked.”

  “Didn’t I tell you it took longer for boys to mature?” My Mom asked. “I’m still waiting for your dad to catch up with me.”

  I nodded, laughing. “Yeah, you sure did. Over and over again” I paused, the thought rolling around in my head for a moment or two. “Hey…you and Dad started out not liking each other too much, either, right?”

  My Mom scoffed. “He drove me crazy during our debate matches. Always had to get the last word in, even if he was completely grasping at straws.”

  “Well, when’d you two stop driving each other crazy?” I asked. My mind flickered back to all the nicer moments I’d spent with Scott, how, even then, he drove me up a wall and back down again. “When did you two decide you were ready to be a couple? Or should be one at all?”

  The best part of my Mom was that, even if she knew what you were talking about, she was never blunt about it. There was a sort of softness to her quality, something that made growing up seen so, so effortless. “Well, kiddo, I can’t say your father’s ever stopped driving me crazy. But, one day, my gut was telling me to go for it, so I did. You learn to love the crazy”

  “We had our ups and downs, don’t get me wrong,” My Mom continued. “There was a point in time I didn’t even think I’d stick with him. But he showed me how much he cared, how much he wanted it, and, well,” she laughed, gesturing towards me. “Here you are.”

  Huh. Didn’t know if I wanted to imagine myself and Scott having babies anytime soon, but the sentiment was still well-intended.

  “Does that help at all, sweetheart?” My Mom asked. “I know it’s not an exact answer, but everyone’s different. You sorta just gotta…feel it out with your significant other. Know that all the time you spent together is never wasted, even if it never amounts to more than a learning experience.”

  “Honestly?” I went in for another hug, feeling a bit less lost than I had in a while. “It’s exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks, Ma.”

  My Mom returned the hug, a warm smile spreading across her face as she did so. “My, my! I don’t remember you giving me this many hugs since…well, in a long time!”

  “Just making up for lost time, I guess,” I said in a teasing tone. “We better get back out to the party, though. I think I saw Dad trying to talk woodworking techniques with one of the guests.”

  “Ooh, I told that man to tuck his carpentry know-how away for tonight!” With an irritated huff, I watched as my Mom stormed through and out the kitchen door, voice just loud enough to interrupt whatever tirade my Dad was going off on. I couldn’t help but chuckle, following after my Mom back to the party, feeling a bit reassured about my future with Scott. Whatever, or wherever, that may lead us.

  As expected, my mother is being completely controlling about this whole situation. Almost half the party consisted of listening to her go on and on about how I have to choose between her and Dad for holiday visits, how she’s already made plans for personal trips, just the two of us, how she’s been looking at other colleges closer to her new apartment and it would just be great if I considered transferring.

  Yippee. Yeah that wasn’t going to happen.

  I have nothing but genuine love for my mother, but this seriously wasn’t the sort of thing I wanted to deal with during my autumn break. She wanted me to just, hop on another bus, pay for another ticket, and visit her so she didn’t feel lonely during the holiday.

  Not sure how it was my fault that she made the decision to move so quickly.

  Finally, I manage to talk her down from her self-made hysteria. I didn’t even get a chance to ask why she and Dad were splitting up, what caused the act, if it happened literally as soon as I left for school. I wouldn’t be surprised if they held out for as long as they did; honestly, they remind me of Syd and I when it comes to the level of stubbornness they exude.

  That thought alone made me freeze on the top stair. “That…no,” I shook my head, making my way down the rest of the staircase. “They’re not like us. Syd and I will be fine.”

  Somehow, the thought still wasn’t that reassuring.

  “Hey, Scott!” Sydney waved me over from the bottom of the stairs, bringing me at least a little bit of relief. “Everyone’s clamoring for a late-night game with the college super star. They wanna see if the new team’s as good as they were. I tried telling them the linebacker’s lacking,” she added with a nonchalant shrug. “But, they wanna beat you for themselves, I guess.”

  I chuckled, doing my best to shake off whatever garbage my mother dumped on me moments ago. “You all know it’s dark as hell outside, right?”

  “Hey, we got car lights for a reason!” One of my old buddies called out.

  “Don’t tell me Sydney’s right about you?” Another called out.

  I rolled my eyes, heading across to the closet to grab my jacket. “Fine, fine. Honestly, I’ll only need Sydney on my side to wipe the floor with you shmucks.”

  A roaring cheer rang out through the room as the guys mobilized outside. Sydney followed after, reaching the closet for her jacket as well while flashing me a grin. “Just need me, huh?”

  That smile alone was reassurance that, no, Sydney and I weren’t like my parents. We’d be okay.

  I just had to keep telling myself that we’d be okay.

  Autumn break absolutely flew by. Soon enough, Scott and I were back on the Bloodhound, bags packed, and tearful hugs exchanged. It was so weird, spending that much time with Scott and still having my sanity intact. I can’t even remember if he went back to his own house during our stay. But, he must’ve; that would be ridiculous. Right?

  The ride back was far more pleasant than the ride there, in that it wasn’t as awkward sitting side-by-side. Scott was far more inclined to actually chat with me, instead of popping in his headphones and staring out the window. Finding topics to discuss wasn’t even that difficult, and if there was ever a lull in conversation, we’d just pull up some cheesy sports movie on his phone and share ear buds together.

  We…really felt like a couple on the way back to college.

  The strangest part was it felt like nothing had really changed. Scott didn’t really make any physically advances my way, possibly scared off due to the number of times I’d snapped at him in the past. Maybe he’d hold my hand for a few seconds, maybe he’d let me settle my head against his shoulder, but the typical, couple-y stuff didn’t seem quite up his alley.

  I may have had a little hand in that.

  As we pulled into the bus station, we caught Cooper and Denise waiting in one of the seats. They gave us a huge wave-on over, hugs and luggage being exchanged between the four of us as we set off into the night.

  “Thanks again for picking us up, Cooper,” I said.

  “No worries,” Cooper replied. “I had to be here around this time, anyway, so it would’ve been silly to say otherwise.”

  “Did you know Cooper had a little sister?” Denise asked. “She’s so flipping cute! Her name’s Mary; she’s doing, like,
a whole college tour for her junior year.”

  “Man, that’s some dedication,” Scott laughed. “I remember looking up a top ten when filling out my applications.”

  I rolled my eyes, giving him a light push in the backseat. “Yeah, that sounds like something you’d do.”

  We continued chatting on the way back, Cooper sliding to a stop at a four-way before Scott perked up. “Oh, wait! There’s a Sandy’s around here, isn’t there, Coop?”

  Cooper glanced around through the front window, nodding slowly. “Yeah, I think so. Why?”

  Scott turned my way, a sly grin crossing his face. “Somebody in this car—I won’t say who—owes me a milkshake.”

  All eyes were immediately on me. The shittiest-eating grin crossed Denise’s face as she began dramatically stroking her chin. “Is that so?”

  “Yeesh, Syd, what’s with you and spending money of food for Scott?” Cooper laughed.

  I shrugged nonchalantly. “Someone has to try and keep up with his empty tank of a stomach. Plus, when he eats, he can’t talk.”

  “Didn’t get enough to eat during Thanksgiving?” Denise asked.

  “Okay, am I secretly fat and just don’t know it?” Scott demanded. “Come on, you guys, I can take it. I’m a big boy.”

  “Ooh, I know you are,” I chuckled, patting him gently on the cheek. “But you seriously want a shake this late at night? Is Sandy’s even open this late?”

  Cooper pulled forward as the light flickered green. “Uh…the one we have around here is more like a Sandy’s for adults. So, yeah, I guarantee you it’s open.”

  “Holy shit, an alcoholic milkshake,” Scott’s expression lit up. “I’m so totally in.”

  “Scott,” I insisted, checking the time on my phone. “You’re not seriously going to keep Cooper up as your personal chauffeur, are you?”

  Cooper jumped into the conversation eagerly. “Actually, I’ve been dying to check the place out for myself. Just never had the need to go; I was under the impression all the guys on the team thought it wasn’t cool enough.”

  “Well, don’t leave me out!” Denise insisted. “I wanna come, too!”

  Scott let out a snickering laugh. “Oh my God, this is hilarious! Shoe’s on the other foot now, huh, Syd?”

  I knew what he meant by that, but Cooper and Denise gave us a weird look. “I’ll tell you when we get there,” I explained. “It’s a long, long story.”

  ---

  Denise’s cookies and Bailey’s milkshake practically fell out of her hand. “Shut up.”

  I shrugged, a nervous giggle slipping out of my mouth.

  “Girl, shut up!” Denise shoved my shoulder as she let out a delighted cackle. “I told you, I told you! Did I not call this in its entirety?!”

  I waved a hand her way to try and quiet her down; in Denise’s defense, that milkshake of hers was already halfway finished. I glanced behind my shoulder, watching as the guys waited up at the soda jerk bar. “Denise, you are so loud right now.”

  “Sorry, sorry,” Her cackling dropped to a giggle as she took a long, slow slurp of her drink. “But, seriously, it’s about damn time you and Scott hooked up.”

  I made a slight face. “Don’t make it sound like that. It sounds so…so…”

  “Exciting?” Denise offered innocently.

  I chuckled. “Weird.”

  Denise gave me a look, pushing her milkshake to the side so there was nothing in the way of her and I. “Weird? Dating someone isn’t supposed to be “weird,” unless you’re making it weird. And weird can be fun.”

  “Scott’s sort of the one making it weird, and not in a fun way” I insisted, taking another look over my shoulder. “I mean, sort of? It’s like…I think we’re together, but he’s not exactly acting like we are. There’s no physical intimacy,”

  “Rowr,” Denise cut in, making a claw-like movement with her hands between snickers.

  “I mean, like, hand-holding and kissing.” I explained, fingers futzing around with my own straw. “I dunno; it’s not like I’ve never dated someone before, but it was never so…vague. Was it like that with you and Cooper?” I frowned, adding quickly afterwards, “Sorry if that’s a bit too soon.”

  Denise waved a hand my way. “Nah, don’t worry about it. I think I just liked the idea of being with a big, strong football player. Cooper was sort of like the forbidden fruit. My parents would flip if I had dated someone like him in the past.”

  I laughed, taking a sip from my own, vanilla-vodka milkshake. “So? Did you two take it slow, too?”

  Denise shook her head. “No, not really. We were pretty quick to kiss and hold hands…which, maybe, I might’ve been too intense with from the start?” She then shrugged, pulling her milkshake bat to her side before putting her lips around the strew. “I dunno. Might be weird cause you two went from rivals, to friends, to…whatever this is? Frivals?”

  I took one more look behind my shoulder, catching Scott’s eyes as he gave me a wave. “But, I want to know what it is.”

  “I’d say ask him,” Denise snorted. “But guys can be hella indecisive. Sometimes I don’t think they have any idea what they want. Well, besides sex of course.”

  Honestly, it felt like between the two of us, I was the one who was the indecisive one…

  “So you two are a thing now, huh?” Cooper asked, leaning his upper frame against the bar as he looked at me intently.

  I found myself staring at the back of Sydney’s head. Denise had said something that made her laugh, a noise that filled my chest with absolute warmth. “Y-Yeah. I think so.”

  “You think so?” Cooper repeated, a bemused smile crossing his face. “Yah think it might be a good idea to double-check that, chief?”

  I shrugged, turning my attention back to Cooper while leaning back in one of the barstool chairs. “I mean, we’re happy as we are right now. I kinda…don’t…wanna screw that up. So, I’m moving slow.”

  Cooper shook his head. “I wouldn’t advise sitting on that, though. I’d want to know what kind of relationship I’m getting into.” His eyes flickered briefly towards Denise and I followed suit; I wondered if part of him regretted breaking up with her? “Just, make sure you know what you want and you say it out loud.”

  “Yeah, obviously.” I may have said it, but it didn’t feel like I meant it. What did I want with Sydney? Obviously, I was ecstatic that she’d kissed me by her own volition, but nothing really happened after that. She didn’t kiss me again, didn’t try holding my hand or calling me by a pet name (unless Scotty Dog counts, which I guess it does); the usual stuff couples did when they were, well, a couple. Was I supposed to start that off? Every time I’d been bold in the past, it absolutely bit me in the ass.

  “Hey, dude,” I began carefully. “How’d you know it wouldn’t work out with Denise?”

  The look on Cooper’s face was absolutely priceless.

  “You know what I mean,” I retorted. “Like, is there something you usually look for in a girl to know they’re the one?”

  Cooper smiled sympathetically, putting one hand on my shoulder while he, too, took a seat. “Be honest; you ever been in a relationship before with someone else?”

  I thought back. “Like, something that lasted more than a week?”

  Cooper nodded. “Yeah. Longer than a week.”

  Longer than a week…I’d been with plenty of girls before, but I was pretty sure the longest only was a week. I didn’t even have to say it out loud, though; Cooper had that knowing look in his eyes, like he knew exactly what my answer was going to be. “It wasn’t something that caught my interest,” I grumbled under my breath.

  Cooper chuckled, patting me on the shoulder once more. “Hey, we’re all friends, here. I’m not judging you, man, just wanna know what I’m working with.” His hand returned a top the table, fingers drumming across the surface as he thought about his response. “I’ll say it…helps, if you have experience, but it’s not the end of the world if Sydney’s you’re first, real attem
pt. I mean, you do wanna be with her like that, right?”

  God, even I didn’t know the answer to that. Part of me knew I wanted to be close to her, to be more than just friends. Hell, it was miracle in itself we were on a talking basis. So, to even dare and hope we could be more? It just seemed like tempting fate itself, and she wasn’t exactly thrilled with me as of late.

  “Honestly, dude? I’d just ask her officially out,” Cooper said. “That’s sort of how it works, right? You like someone, you spend time with them, you ask them to be your significant other.”

  “Easier said than done,” I chuckled bitterly.

  “It’s only as complicated as you make it.” Cooper glanced towards the bar, flagging down the bartender who looked to be holding our two milkshake orders. He passed mine over to me, his noticeably smaller so he could still drive us all back to campus. My hands cupping around the frosted glass as we made our way towards the table with the girls.

  The rest of the night was a bit of a blur—mostly just catching up, laughter, and a lot of whipped cream. But, as clear as day did, I remember the smile on Sydney’s face, the laughter that came out of her when Denise started mixing up words and slurring sentences. I wanted…I knew I wanted us to be more; through my own, alcohol-sloshed brain, where social masks were dropped and thoughts flowed as freely as the drinks…I was pretty sure I wanted Sydney Burton to be my girlfriend.

  Now, if only some of that liquid courage hung around with me like the hangover I got the next morning.

  I absolutely learned from my mistakes the last time around. One milkshake was all I allowed myself to have, and I made sure to munch on some bar pretzels all throughout the night. We got back to the campus crazy late—thank God we still had a day or two until classes kicked back up—but even so, I managed to wake myself up just a touch after midday.

  An absolute success, if I did say so myself.