Flowers Vs. Zombies: The Complete Series

by Perrin Briar

  Inside it was the cracked surface of an eggshell. He lifted the top.

  Cheep cheep. Cheep cheep.

  “It’s a chick!” Fritz said to Ernest. “It’s Beauty’s perch. Inside it I found this! This must be why she never wanted to get off it the past few days! She must have laid an egg!”

  Fritz inspected the chick.

  “It’s a he,” he said. “I mean, it’s a him. A male!”

  “I wonder if fatherhood makes everyone so eloquent,” Ernest said.

  “I’ll name him Beast. Got to keep up with tradition.”

  Fritz turned to his parents.

  “Mum, Dad,” he said. “Look at this!”

  “He looks hungry,” Liz said.

  “I’ll go find him something,” Fritz said, walking away. “You know, you’ve got some pretty big claws to fill,” he said to the chick. “But don’t worry, I’ll train you.”

  Liz and Bill shared a smile. Liz looked over the destroyed area that had once been their home.

  “Nothing will ever grow here again, will it?” she said. “Too much of their tainted blood was spilled.”

  “Something will grow here, given enough time.”

  A spot of water tapped Bill on the head, then another, and all at once, a torrential rain fell out of the sky. The rain coalesced and made streams that ran downhill to the sea. The water was red, and then turned pink, then no colour at all. Eventually enough water fell that it carried the rotten corpses away.

  Bill smiled.

  “Wiped clean like a broom to the past,” he said. “It might take some time, but life here will return to normal. There are still Lurchers out there in this jungle, and we have to be careful, but we will find them.”

  “But not tonight,” Liz said.

  “No, not tonight. Tonight we’ll go to the cove and sleep.”

  They turned and made their way back up Sharpie. Ernest cradled his books, Fritz his chick, Jack with Nip in his arms, and Francis led Valiant with his hand on his neck, not needing to use the nose ring.

  “How are we going to rebuild the Nests?” Liz said. “The Adventurer sunk months ago. You’ll never bring anything else back up.”

  “Who said anything about the Adventurer?” Bill said. “How do you fancy living in the Presidential Suite of a cruise liner?”

  Liz smiled.

  “Sounds great,” she said.

  “Let’s get some sleep,” Bill said. “We’ve got an awful lot of rebuilding to do.”

  “Yes,” Liz said. “But we’ll do it together.”

  Chapter Thirty-One

  THE APES screamed at the top of their lungs, concealed behind their leafy hiding places, and peered at something in a clearing. It was another ape, lying on his back. Rain patted his upturned cheeks and dampened his fur, sticky and matted with blood, an ugly open wound on his forearm. His breaths came shallow and forced, rasping with life.

  He closed his eyes, breathed in a thick breath, let out a deep sigh, and fell silent. The apes screeched for another minute before following suit and falling silent themselves. The apes turned and moved away, into the darkness of the jungle beyond.

  The jungle returned to its normal background noise of crickets, hooting birds and something pecking at a tree trunk in the distance.

  The sounds stopped, and the jungle was silent.

  A black finger twitched. His eyes flashed open, white as snow. A low groan escaped his lips. The jungle erupted into screams once more.

  Part Two

  Genesis

  Chapter One

  THE AIR smelled musty and sweet like lotus leaves baked in the sun. The humidity hit the Flowers the moment they stepped from Dipolog airport. Groggy with sleep, they stumbled down the ramp and into the midst of two dozen bright smiling faces.

  “Hello, sir,” a Filipino with a bushy moustache said. “Would you like a taxi?”

  “No, thank you,” Bill said. “There should be someone here to pick us up.”

  “If you need a taxi I’ll be right here,” the man said.

  And that’s just what he did. He stood there, watching them as they walked away, like a lost puppy hoping for a new owner.

  Francis and Jack, the youngest members of the Flower family, peered at all the weird and wonderful things on sale in the market around them, their necks never stopping.

  Ernest, thirteen, kept his nose firmly in his book, though even he couldn’t help peeking over the pages at the more beautiful young women passing by. Fritz, broad shouldered and handsome, was less reticent, and let his eyes go where they would.

  Bill looked at the people standing around holding placards. His eyes settled on one: a man with a torn strip of cardboard with ‘Flower + Montrose’ written on it. He too had a big smile on his face.

  “You Mr. Plonk?” he said.

  “Flower,” Bill corrected.

  “Monty Rose?” the local said.

  “Montrose,” Bill said. “They should be here any minute.”

  “Here we are,” Dennis Montrose said, stepping from nowhere like a bad smell. “Present and accounted for.”

  His family stepped out from behind his massive frame.

  “This way, please,” the man said, leading them to his car.

  The difference in the amount of luggage between the two families was striking. Each member of Bill’s family had one suitcase each and a small backpack. Dennis and Marie each had three suitcases and two backpacks, as well as a giant trunk shared between them. Bill could only imagine what it contained. Among the Montroses only their daughter Jenny carried a single bag.

  “Have you got enough luggage there, Dennis?” Bill said.

  “Prepare for the worst,” Dennis said. “That’s my motto.”

  “What happens if you need to get off the boat quickly?” Bill said. “You haven’t planned for that.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong,” Dennis said, tapping the large trunk with his foot. “This here is a self-inflating raft. One tug and the whole thing bursts open, along with everything we need to survive. We brought a small piece of home with us.”

  This last he said with a wink.

  “We’re only going to be on the boat eighteen hours,” Bill said.

  “Better safe than sorry,” Dennis said.

  The driver began loading his minivan with their bags. He tried lifting the trunk but it was too large and awkward. He employed the help of another man and together they hefted it up onto the roof. The driver then threw a rope over the trunk and lashed it down.

  A pair of pretty girls in low-cut tops approached Fritz, who gave them his best smile.

  “Evening, ladies,” he said.

  The women giggled and hid their mouths behind their hands. The driver waved the women away and pushed Fritz into the car. Fritz peered out through the back window at the women as the car pulled away.

  “Nice to know my sexual animal magnetism works just as well on this side of the world,” Fritz said.

  Ernest rolled his eyes.

  “It was your money they could smell,” he said. “And I’ve smelled you. It’s not something they’d be attracted to, believe me.”

  “You’re just jealous,” Fritz said with a satisfied smile.

  Dennis and Marie Montroses’ heads rested against one another and they fell asleep.

  “We could push them out at the next stop,” Bill whispered to Liz, who sat beside him in the front seat. Liz smiled and jabbed him lightly in the ribs.

  The driver was amiable and kept talking to Bill and Liz, though they didn’t often reply. Liz could only make out one in five of the man’s words and suspected Bill understood the same.

  Bill took Liz’s hand and interlocked his fingers with hers. They watched the foreign world roll past their window. It was so alien, Liz thought, so different to Switzerland that she had to remind himself that this was now their home.

  The little huts on stilts sat discreetly back from the road, ringed by large-leafed plants and tall trees. People lay in hammocks when they
had them, or strewn across the ground when they didn’t. They stirred now and then, their free hands swatting at the flies that buzzed around their faces.

  The tarmac road gave way to dirt, and the houses became small and squat. Bare-footed children played in the middle of the road amongst roadkill and discarded fish bones, heedless of the car.

  Then came the strong scent of brine. An outcrop of foliage gave way to the vast expanse of the sea, a finger of land pinching it on either side.

  Half a dozen fishing boat crews in overalls lumbered across the dock with their day’s catch, heading for the small fishing town that squatted beside the sea. The taxi driver pulled the car to a stop. Jenny poked her parents awake, Dennis snorting like a pig.

  “What? Where?” he said, before looking around and orientating himself.

  They climbed from the car and rolled their suitcases down the jetty, their bags’ wheels making rolling thudding noises against the wood’s grain. They came to a large ferry with faded white paint down the sides, the wood so badly chipped Liz couldn’t make out its name.

  The driver picked up Bill’s suitcase, and before he could comment, tossed it high into the air and onto the front of the ship, where it was caught by a young boy, no older than Ernest, and sat down with gentle care.

  The driver did the same with everyone’s luggage, although Marie was hesitant about letting her baggage be handled so. The young boy didn’t fail to catch one piece of luggage, no matter how badly the driver tossed it. A pair of sailors helped the driver lift the trunk off the roof of the car and lay it on board the boat.

  The driver said something they couldn’t understand and gestured to the gangplank. It was a rickety old thing that swayed in the wind. Liz gripped the handrail tight and was helped aboard by a tall broad-chested man.

  “Hello!” the man said in a pleasing lilting accent, his white hat turned to one side so the peak perched over an ear. “Welcome aboard the Adventurer! I am Captain Rodrigo.”

  He gestured to the handsome thin man beside him.

  “This is Ranj, my First Mate,” he said. “We shall take you to your destination: Guimaras Island! You must be tired. My cabin boy Felix will escort you to your cabins, where you can get a good night’s sleep. We’ll be arriving by tomorrow morning. We’re expecting smooth seas the whole way, so please, sit back and relax.”

  Felix, the boy who had caught their tossed luggage, led the Flowers and Montroses to a small collection of container-like rooms that had been bolted to the centre of the deck. Kids ran past them, playing a game of ‘it’. Some were Asian, others black and white.

  Felix opened a door and gestured for the Montroses to enter. Marie turned up her nose, face screwed up like there was a bad smell. But before she could complain Felix was already moving away, leading the Flowers toward their own quarters.

  Fritz stumbled to one side, caught himself, and then miss-stepped again. Liz put her hand on his back.

  “Are you feeling all right, Fritz?” she said.

  Fritz looked up at her. His face was drawn and pale.

  “I’m fine,” he said, a sliver of sweat on his top lip.

  “Be careful,” Liz said. “It’s not like you to be unbalanced.”

  Their cabin was a good size, but cluttered with furniture. The boys rushed to the bunk beds, Jack and Francis demanding the top bunks. Neither Fritz nor Ernest minded.

  Bill dumped his backpack on the hastily-assembled double bed. Liz checked out the bathroom. It was tiny, but serviceable.

  “Dibs on the first shower,” Liz said.

  “It’s all yours,” Bill said.

  “Do you have Wi-Fi?” Ernest said to Felix.

  “Wi-what?” Felix said.

  “I think that’s your answer,” Bill said.

  “No internet?” Ernest said. “But… how will I stay connected to the world?”

  “Only short trip,” Felix said. “You be okay.”

  “How short?” Ernest said.

  “Twelve hour,” Felix said.

  Ernest shuddered.

  “Hand me a noose now,” he said. “Get it over with.”

  There was a rattling sound and the boat shook as its engines turned on. They all lurched slightly to one side as the room vibrated away from the jetty.

  “I’m going to go explore,” Jack said.

  “Me too,” Ernest said.

  “Okay,” Liz said, “but be back before ten.”

  Felix, Jack and Ernest left.

  “I’m going to… go… outside,” Fritz said, clutching his stomach and rushing out.

  “Oh dear,” Bill said. “Looks like Fritz is about to have a fun journey.”

  “What’s wrong with him?” Liz said.

  “Seasickness,” Bill said. “My father used to get it.”

  “I should go watch him,” Liz said.

  Bill wrapped his arms around her.

  “He’s almost a man,” he said. “He can take care of himself.”

  Francis opened his backpack and took out a games console.

  “At least Francis doesn’t seem to mind the change of scenery,” Liz said.

  “You do?” Bill said.

  “An adventure’s what we wanted,” Liz said. “It looks like that’s exactly what we’re going to get.”

  There was a knock on the door. Dennis peeked inside.

  “I hope you’re decent,” he said.

  Bill and Liz parted.

  “Or maybe you weren’t about to be…” Dennis said with a sly smile.

  “What is it?” Bill said.

  “I was wondering if you’d like to go for a small drink,” Dennis said.

  Bill turned to Liz.

  “Do you mind?” he said.

  “No,” she said. “Go enjoy yourself.”

  “I’ll just have a quick wash,” Bill said. “I’ll only be a minute.”

  “Take your time,” Dennis said.

  Bill took a fresh set of clothes out of his bag and entered the bathroom. They could hear the tap running, and Bill’s vigorous washing. Liz, Dennis and Francis were alone. The awkwardness of a casual acquaintance set in.

  “Would you like a cup of tea or coffee?” Liz said.

  “Tea, please,” Dennis said. “A small one.”

  Liz moved to a suitcase and began rooting around inside it.

  “I know I packed it in here somewhere,” she said.

  “You packed your own teabags?” Dennis said.

  “Just in case they didn’t have the type we like,” Liz said. “Don’t know why I bothered. If they don’t have them we’re not going to be able to drink them anyway. Our stash is hardly going to last forever.”

  “Marie did the same. Her Achilles Heel is chocolate.”

  Liz smiled and extracted her own secret stash of chocolate. Dennis chuckled.

  “Great minds,” he said. He pursed his lips and nodded to the suitcase on the floor. “Perhaps the tea rolled to the bottom.”

  “You might be right,” Liz said.

  Liz bent over to search it. Dennis turned his head to the side, appraising Liz’s raised rump. He looked toward the bathroom and heard Bill humming a song to himself.

  “Can I ask you something?” Dennis said. “Were you always looking forward to this trip?”

  “It was a bit of a last minute decision, actually,” Liz said. “But now we’re here, yes, I’m excited. It’ll be a good experience – for us and the boys.”

  Dennis smiled, and several dimples formed on his fat face.

  “You’re a wonderful woman, Liz,” he said.

  “Say that after one of me and Bill’s arguments,” Liz said.

  “Oh, Bill’s told me all about those,” Dennis said with a chuckle. “You’re quite the firecracker.”

  Liz smiled, but it was only half-hearted.

  “Does Bill talk about our relationship a lot?” she said.

  “Enough for me to know he wants more. Although for the life of me I can’t think why.”

  Dennis’s eyes drif
ted down over Liz’s body. She was in deep thought and didn’t notice.

  “More?” she said. “What do you mean?”

  “An adventure,” Dennis said. “A change. Something new. Men of a certain age always want something new, something fresh. But you look plenty fresh to me.”

  Liz took an unconscious step back. Dennis had somehow silently crossed the space between them and was now standing right before her. He had a grotesque smirk on his face. Liz spotted the corner of the tea bag box jutting out the corner of her suitcase.

  “Ah,” she said. “Here they are.”

  She took the box out and moved to the kettle on the side table, away from Dennis.

  “I hope to see a lot more of you as the days go by,” Dennis said, taking a step toward her.

  Liz smiled, but it was ill-formed and curdled with concern.

  “We fellow Chucernites have to stick together,” she said. “It’s important to know we can trust each other.“

  She emphasised the word clearly. Dennis’s eyes glinted.

  “Oh, you don’t need to worry about me,” he said. “I can be very discreet.”

  Dennis’s breathing was deep and thick. His rotund stomach wasn’t far from Liz’s breasts.

  “Sugar?” Liz said, her throat dry.

  “Always.”

  The bathroom door opened. Dennis took a step back. Liz had never been so pleased to see Bill in her life. Bill dried his neck and hair with a towel.

  “Are you ready?” Bill said to Dennis.

  “Locked and loaded,” Dennis said, turning to Liz. “Sorry to have to waste the tea. I’ll drop by some other time to finish it off.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Liz said, distracted.

  Bill gave Liz a peck on the cheek.

  “I won’t be late,” he said.

  “Have a great time,” Liz said.

  Liz’s hand shook as she picked up the tea and downed it in one go.

  Chapter Two

  FRITZ THREW himself at the railing, curling himself around it. His whole body tensed and relaxed, and then tensed again as the contents of his stomach evacuated. His breath rasped out of his sore throat.