Flowers Vs. Zombies: The Complete Series

by Perrin Briar

  Jack gave the capuchin the bottle. The baby took hold of it in his tiny hands and began sucking.

  “Doesn’t seem to mind it’s coconut’s milk, does he?” Liz said. “Are you sure you want to look after him? It’s going to take a lot of work. He’ll live for years and years.”

  “I’m sure,” Jack said.

  He looked down at the little monkey like a father with his new born.

  “What are you going to call him?” Liz said.

  “Nips,” Jack said. “I’m going to call him Nips.”

  Liz smiled.

  “The perfect name,” she said.

  Chapter Twenty

  “IT’S A RABBIT!” Ernest said. “The trap worked! We caught one! And it’s still alive!”

  “Excellent,” Fritz said.

  He opened the latch on the top, reached in and grabbed the rabbit by the scruff of the neck. The rabbit tried in vain to bite the hand that held him. His legs kicked with powerful thrusts.

  “Feisty, isn’t he?” Ernest said. “Cute little guy though.”

  “He’ll look even cuter with some gravy over him, beside some freshly boiled garden peas and carrots,” Fritz said, licking his lips.

  “Tomorrow I’ll make two more traps,” Ernest said.

  “Don’t make too many,” Fritz said. “The jungle needs to keep some of its wildlife.”

  Ernest beamed.

  “Let’s get back to the treehouse,” he said. “Show everyone what we caught.”

  “No, no, no,” Fritz said. “We can’t.”

  “Why not?” Ernest said.

  “What’ll be the first question out of Father’s mouth?” Fritz said.

  “ ‘Where did you get it from?’” Ernest said.

  “Swiftly followed by, ‘How?’” Fritz said.

  “We could say we found it,” Ernest said.

  “Father would never let us eat it,” Fritz said. “He’ll think it died of a disease.”

  “Then we’ll say we caught it in one of the wooden traps,” Ernest said.

  “Oh?” Fritz said. “Just going for a little stroll in the forbidden jungle alone, were we?”

  “Good point,” Ernest said. “We catch a succulent rabbit like this, and we can’t eat it?”

  “I didn’t say that,” Fritz said.

  “Then what do you suggest?”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “HEY, WE got one!” Bill said. “I knew we’d catch one eventually!”

  “Would you look at that,” Fritz said.

  The rabbit struggled in Bill’s grip.

  “Feisty little fellow, isn’t he?” Bill said. “He’ll make for good eating.”

  “With some potatoes and carrots?” Fritz said.

  “If we can rustle some up,” Bill said. “Let’s go show your mother.”

  Fritz reset the trap, taking care to remove the bait before doing so. They carried the rabbit home.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  THE FAMILY took a half day off on Sundays. Presently Bill and Liz sat on tree stump stools drinking tea. Jack walked across the clearing holding Nips’ tiny hand.

  “He could catch diseases from it,” Bill said.

  “The monkey’s more likely to catch them from Jack,” Liz said. “But they do look good together, don’t they?”

  Jack mimed tripping over. Nips jumped on top of him, attempting to peel back Jack’s arms that he held over his face. Jack laughed, got to his feet and climbed up a tree. Nips, hesitant at first, followed him. Jack got halfway up and waited for Nips to catch up. Once he did, Jack put the monkey on his shoulder. Nips held on as Jack climbed the rest of the tree, to the very top.

  “Is it healthy for him to be spending so much time with a monkey?” Bill said.

  “Better a monkey than no one,” Liz said.

  That afternoon, Fritz stood with Beauty on his forearm in a clearing near the south coast. Fritz stroked the top of Beauty’s head. She screeched and flapped her wings. Fritz kept hold of the vine tied around one of her feet. She had grown since he’d discovered her several weeks ago. Her fluffy feathers were thinning out, replaced with sleek, graceful lines.

  “Away,” Fritz said.

  He moved Beauty onto a perch.

  “Come,” Fritz said.

  Beauty just stared at him, turning her head to one side.

  “Come,” Fritz said, and moved Beauty onto his glove.

  He gave her a piece of chicken from his pocket.

  “Away,” he said.

  Beauty didn’t move.

  “Away,” Fritz said.

  Beauty still didn’t move. Fritz sat down on a fallen tree, Beauty resting on his wrist. He took off his hat and fanned himself.

  “How’s it going?” Ernest said, not taking his nose out of his book.

  “Fine,” Fritz said agitatedly. “I’ve been at this for weeks but yet she still won’t move from my glove to the perch or back again.”

  “Maybe you should try teaching her differently,” Ernest said.

  “Differently how?” Fritz said. “With a chalkboard?”

  “With body language,” Ernest said. “Don’t just say the word. Words all probably sound the same to birds.”

  “So what should I do instead?” Fritz said. “Sing Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds?”

  “You could give it a try,” Ernest said. “But I’d go with a distinct noise for each command. A whistle. A word. Clicking your tongue. And a visual clue for each.”

  Ernest shrugged.

  “That’s what I’d do, anyway,” he said. “But what do I know?”

  “Visual clues,” Fritz said to himself.

  He put his hat back on and stood up, Beauty clutching his wrist with her oversized claws. Fritz stood opposite the perch. He whistled. Beauty turned her head to stare at Fritz. He whistled again, and she peered closely at his lips. Then Fritz moved his arm forward as if he were going to throw Beauty underhand, and placed her on the perch.

  “Come,” Fritz said, raising his arm out to the side.

  “Tug on the vine attached to her leg,” Ernest said.

  “What?” Fritz said.

  “Tug on the vine attached to her leg,” Ernest said. “Make her do the action herself.”

  “She’ll fall,” Fritz said.

  “She’s got wings,” Ernest said. “She’ll be fine. Worst comes to the worst, she’ll flutter softly to the ground.”

  Fritz frowned, and then tugged on the vine. Beauty screeched, almost losing her footing on the perch.

  “Come,” Fritz said in a strong commanding voice while raising his arm. “Come!”

  Beauty hopped off the perch, and, having not yet developed her full wingspan or accompanying flying muscles, she fluttered her wings randomly, steering to the left, and then the right. Fritz lowered his arm so she could land on it. She landed on his upper arm, which had no protection. Her claws dug into his skin.

  “Ah!” Fritz said.

  He moved her to his forearm. She screeched. Fritz gritted his teeth, his arm throbbing. But he didn’t break training protocol. He gave Beauty a small piece of chicken and stroked the top of her head.

  “Good girl,” he said. “A little mistake there with stabbing my arm, but that’s my fault. Shall we try again?”

  He whistled, and thrust his arm out. Beauty flapped her wings, a little more coordinated this time, and landed on the perch.

  “Good girl!” Fritz said, handing her a piece of chicken. “Now, come!”

  Fritz lowered his arm so she could reach it, and timed it so she landed on his forearm.

  “How do you know this stuff?” Fritz said to Ernest.

  Ernest shrugged.

  “I saw a documentary on it once,” he said.

  Fritz shook his head.

  “I wish I could remember everything I ever saw or read,” he said.

  “You can do things I can’t too,” Ernest said. “I could never swim fifty laps in the school swimming pool.”

  “That’s just muscles,” Fritz
said.

  “So is this,” Ernest said, pointing to his head. “You keep exercising, running. I keep reading and learning. It’s the same difference.”

  “Get the ball, Nips!” Jack shouted. “Bring me the ball! The ball!”

  Jack and Nips sat to one side in the shade of a pine tree. Nips looked from Jack to his extended finger, and then to the item it was pointing at.

  “This is a ball,” Jack said, picking it up. “Ball. Get it? Ball. Ball. Can you bring it to me? Bring!”

  Jack handed Nips the ball, and then took it back again. Nips looked confused.

  “You need to give it an incentive,” Ernest said, not looking up from his textbook.

  “A what?” Jack said.

  “An incentive,” Ernest said. “Something it wants.”

  “It’s a he,” Jack said.

  “He, she, it. It doesn’t matter,” Ernest said. “You should give it something if it brings you the ball. Look at Fritz with Beauty. He’s using chicken.”

  “Nips doesn’t eat chicken,” Jack said.

  “So give it something it does eat,” Ernest said. “Besides Dad’s shoes.”

  “Like what?” Jack said.

  “Anything,” Ernest said, turning a page and not looking up. “A toy, some praise, some food. Something it likes.”

  “He,” Jack corrected.

  Jack unzipped his pocket and extracted a small handful of seeds. Nips climbed up his leg and put his hand in Jack’s pocket. Jack slapped a hand over the pocket, jamming it closed. Nips looked up at him, confused.

  “Get down,” Jack said.

  Nips looked around, and then climbed down.

  “It worked!” Jack said, extending a nut.

  “Could have been by accident,” Ernest said.

  “You said if I used something he likes he’ll do the tricks,” Jack said.

  “Yes, but not straight away,” Ernest said. “Unless… are they magic seeds?”

  Jack peered down at the seeds in his hand.

  “No,” he said. “At least, I don’t think so.”

  Ernest rolled his eyes.

  Nips sat in front of Jack, attention rapt. Jack gave Nips the ball. He held it in his tiny hands.

  “Bring it to me,” Jack said, waving him over. “Bring. Bring. Come on.”

  Nips dropped the ball and ran toward Jack.

  “No!” Jack said.

  Nips stopped in his tracks. Jack reached back and gave Nips the ball again.

  “Come here,” Jack said. “Come on.”

  This time Nips brought the ball to Jack, who squealed with delight and handed him the nut.

  “Clever little guy,” Ernest said.

  “He takes after me,” Jack said with a beaming smile.

  He tossed the ball a little distance away.

  “Bring!” he said.

  Nips hesitantly went over to the ball.

  “Pick it up,” Jack said.

  Nips did.

  “Now bring it to me,” Jack said.

  Nips ambled over, dropping the ball halfway, but it rolled to a stop before Jack, who waited patiently, hand outstretched. He pointed to the ball.

  “Bring,” Jack said.

  Nips picked the ball up and handed it to Jack. Jack gave him another nut.

  “This animal training thing is a piece of cake!” Jack said.

  “It is when you know how to do it properly,” Fritz said. “Thanks, Ernest.”

  Ernest smiled.

  “You’re welcome,” he said.

  “Don’t get used to compliments,” Fritz said.

  “From you?” Ernest said. “Never.”

  Jack threw the ball farther and farther, and Nips chased after it and brought it back. Then Jack began to teach Nips other tricks—like to stay in a single place while he went about and did other things, at first just for a few seconds, and then for minutes, and finally for up to fifteen minutes. Jack could have trained Nips to wait for even longer but he couldn’t stand being away from the little capuchin for any longer than that.

  Then he taught the little monkey to make sounds on command, which annoyed Ernest no end, as he was always trying to read. Finally Jack taught Nips to take Ernest’s book every time he raised it to read, and drag it up a tree. Ernest immediately regretted helping Jack with his training.

  Meanwhile, Fritz played games with Beauty, with simple variations on the ‘Away’ and ‘Come’ commands. Beauty grew fast. She became larger, stronger and more comfortable with Fritz’s commands. He made the vine leash longer every few days.

  Fritz often walked around with her balanced on his forearm, speaking to her and brushing her gently on the head with one of her old fluffy feathers. She shut her eyes and drifted to sleep every time he did it.

  While Fritz worked, Beauty sat perched on the branch of a tree. She kept a sharp lookout, head continuously moving in every direction. She screeched whenever she saw someone coming—without exception it turned out to be Liz with their cups of tea.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  FRITZ’S HEART soared alongside Beauty as she landed in a tree on the edge of the clearing.

  “Come!” Fritz said, holding out his arm.

  Beauty hesitated, screeching. She turned and looked out at the island all around her.

  “Beauty, come!” Fritz said.

  Beauty flapped her wings, slapping against the broad leaves. She flew down toward him, a little wobbly in her approach. At the last moment she pulled up, circled around and came in again for her second attempt. She landed, ungraceful, but in one piece.

  “Good girl!” Fritz said, handing her a piece of chicken and stroking her head with a finger.

  Liz clapped her hands with vigour. Bill stayed in his seat.

  “Bravo!” Liz said. “Bravo!”

  Fritz took a bow.

  “You’ve trained her well,” Bill said. “Do you think she’ll be ready to hunt soon?”

  “Soon,” Fritz said. “I want her to be able to fly by herself for a little longer first.”

  “I suspect you won’t need to teach her how to hunt,” Bill said. “She’ll know instinctively, or she can practice until she gets good at it.”

  “Shall I show you what Nips can do?” Jack said.

  “I’ve already seen what Nips can do,” Bill said. “I couldn’t find my shoe again this morning.”

  “But he gave it back,” Jack said.

  “Eventually,” Bill said.

  Jack moved to a tree, holding Nips in his hand.

  “Nips,” Jack said, and pointed to the top of the tree. “Bring!”

  Nips hopped onto the tree and climbed to the top. He reached for a coconut, but it was obstinate and didn’t want to let go. Nips shook the tree until the coconut fell. Unfortunately not just one fell, but five.

  Jack leapt aside as the coconuts crashed to earth. Three exploded upon impact, one rolled down the hill on the other side of the tree, and one landed in a soft circle of earth, buried halfway in.

  “Nips!” Jack shouted up the tree.

  A small figure popped his head out from the circle of leaves.

  “Come!” Jack said.

  Nips climbed down the tree trunk and leapt, landing on Jack’s shoulder.

  “Well,” Jack said with a grin, “one of the coconuts made it. Though you might need a crowbar to get it out.”

  Bill leaned down and scooped the coconut up with one hand. He held it out to Nips, who tapped on it with his tiny fist, listening intently. He grinned and nodded.

  “He knows ripe fruit,” Bill said. “Not a bad skill to have.”

  “He has a bit of a naughty streak, I admit,” Jack said.

  Liz smiled.

  “I wonder where he gets that from,” she said.

  “I can take Nips out into the jungle and get him to pick fruit for us,” Jack said.

  Bill’s smile was tight.

  “Nice idea, but I want you where I can see you,” he said.

  “There might be some fruit we haven’t
found yet,” Jack said. “Nips could find it for us.”

  “I said no,” Bill said, voice firm.

  “Can I at least go exploring with Fritz and Ernest?” Jack said.

  “No,” Bill said. “Wait. Fritz and Ernest have been off exploring?”

  Jack’s eyes moved to the side.

  “No,” he said.

  “You’re a terrible liar, Jack,” Bill said. “Where have they been?”

  “Nowhere,” Jack said.

  Bill pursed his lips.

  “Fine. I’ll deal with them later,” Bill said. “There are a million and one things for you to do here before you start gallivanting off and getting lost and in trouble.”

  “I won’t get in trouble,” Jack said.

  “You’re right,” Bill said. “Because you never get in trouble, do you?”

  “I’ll stick to the beaches or wherever you say to go,” Jack said.

  “Good,” Bill said. “Stay here where I can see you.”

  “This isn’t fair!” Jack said. “I’m not a baby!”

  “Then stop acting like one!” Bill said, his voice harsh and hard as stone.

  Jack flinched back. Nips hid behind Jack’s leg. With tears in his eyes, Jack ran away.

  “Bill-” Liz said.

  “He’ll get over it,” Bill said.

  “You can’t protect them forever,” Liz said.

  “I know,” Bill said. “But there are so many dangers here. Go into any bush and there are a dozen animals that can kill them.”

  Liz put her hand on his forearm.

  “I can see there’s something on your mind,” she said.

  “We’re stranded on an island in the middle of nowhere,” Bill said. “Of course I’ve got things on my mind.”

  Liz closed the gap between them.

  “No,” Liz said. “Not that. Something else.”

  Bill looked away.

  “Bill,” Liz said. “Bill, look at me.”

  Bill sighed and looked at his wife. His voice was soft but grizzled around the edges, like a glass of water with a handful of dirt tossed in.

  “Nothing’s wrong,” he said. “You don’t have to worry.”

  “Yes there is,” Liz said.

  Liz’s top slipped down, exposing her shoulder. Her collar bone protruded, poking at her skin like it was trying to break through. Bill looked at Liz’s face and found her cheekbones the same – unhealthy and gaunt.